The doors slid open as a group of six people walked in. "I swear, if somebody asks for an autograph..." Tony grumbled, sticking his hand into his pocket.
Steve's eyes grew in amazement. "These doors open by themselves!" he exclaimed.
"Not even Asgard has such fine luxuries!" Thor added.
"It's not a luxury." Tony rolled his eyes.
"How do they slide open by themselves?" Steve continued. He jumped in front of the door, causing it to open again. After standing there for a few seconds, he asked, "When do they close again?"
"When you move out of the way," Bruce said quietly.
Steve blinked. "Moved out of what's way?'
"See that black thing up there?" Bruce pointed a finger. "That's a sensor. It can sense people there. When someone gets in a certain range, it opens up and stays open until someone leaves that range."
"Ohhhh," Steve said. He gave a lopsided grin. "The things people come up with."
"Um, can we go get what we need now?" Natasha asked. "I think we understand automatic doors now."
"What're we getting anyway?" Tony asked.
"Objects for the celebratory event with the group you call 'SHIELD'," Thor replied.
"Didn't the shwarma place cut it?" Tony grumbled.
"It was most delicious," Thor said happily. "But now we celebrate our victory with the rest."
"Let's split up and get everything," Steve said. "Tony, get the plates. Bruce, the cups. Natasha—"
"Hey, we're just buying stuff, not saving the world again," Tony interjected.
Steve sent an annoyed glance at Tony. "Okay, let's just… start."
"Has anybody seen Clint?" Natasha asked. She headed off in one direction. Thor wondered towards the food isles. "I'll make sure he doesn't get in trouble," Bruce murmured, following him.
Tony and Steve stared at each other. "So… what are you going to get?" Steve asked him.
Tony shrugged. "I'll go get the plates and the cups."
Steve nodded. "I'll go get the snacks and such."
They headed off.
Natasha heard his laughter coming from the toys section. "What the…" she murmured, slinking over.
He burst from the aisle, a nerf gun in his hand, shooting it at Natasha. A strange noise that sounded like a silent scream came from her throat. "What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
Clint smiled widely. "Playing with the nerf guns! What does it look like I'm doing?"
"You're a trained, special, secret, government agent, and you're playing… with a nerf gun."
He didn't say anything; instead he stood there, grinning mindlessly. Suddenly, the gun was in her face as he shot again. It hit her forehead. He took off, laughing like a maniac.
"Two can play at that game," she muttered. She grabbed another nerf gun and chased after him.
A mom and her son were walking through the aisles as Clint sprinted pass, roaring with laughter, Natasha following with a look of determination on her face. "Mommy…." the little boy started, pointing at the agents.
"Just ignore them, honey," she said, confused. "Let's just head the other direction…."
Thor picked up a cucumber. "What is this?"
Bruce groaned. "It's a cucumber. Thor, no more questions about our food."
He nodded, sniffing the cucumber. "This shall do," he said, opening his mouth.
Bruce's eyes widened. "Don't eat it!"
Thor stopped, staring at Bruce. "Why not?"
"First of all, you have to pay for it," Bruce started, removing the cucumber from Thor's hands and placing it back where it was. "Second of all, you don't just… eat the cucumber."
"Is that not what food is for?"
"Well yes, but you have to take the skin off."
Thor stayed quiet for a moment. "Did you say one has to pay for food?"
"That is ridiculous!" Thor roared. "I am a king!"
"But humans don't know about Asgard," Bruce said, trying to get Thor to be quiet.
"I demand to speak to the regulator of food!"
"There is none, Thor! Now stop raising your voice! People are looking!"
Thor looked at Bruce. "Are you getting angry, Dr. Banner?"
Bruce flushed. "No, Thor, but I will if you keep yelling."
"That would not be so good."
"No, it would not."
"Good." Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.
"Are you alright, angry green one?"
"I'm not angry!" Bruce snapped.
Thor backed away. "I shall look at the cubecumbers or whatever you call them."
Bruce stayed silent.
Steve wondered around, trying to find the snacks. He hadn't seen a sign yet that said "snacks". Suddenly Clint rushed by him, Natasha following a few feet behind launching something at Clint's back. As they laugh and ran away, Steve bent down to pick up what she had launched.
"A foam bullet?" he wondered out loud. "Is this used for training?" He shrugged and dropped it, continuing his journey to find the snacks again. He passed by the toys aisle. Out of the corner of his eye, something caught his attention. He stopped and headed down it, looking at all they had in stock. Then he found what had caught his attention.
His mouth gaped as he saw everything. Smirking to himself, he grabbed a few things off of the hangars.
When their nerf guns had run out, they stopped running. They doubled over with laughter. "I'm surprised no one stopped us," Natasha said between breaths.
"I think they were all afraid of how strange we were acting."
"No different than Bangladesh." She smirked.
"You and I still remember Bangladesh very differently."
When they finished calming down, they went back to pick up all the darts.
Natasha noticed Steve first. She burst out laughing. "What are you doing?"
Steve smirked. "You'll see." He glanced at the ground to see Clint picking up the darts. "What are those things? Training guns?"
"No," Natasha said, a small smile now on her face. "They're called 'nerf guns'. These are darts. You shoot them at each other for fun."
"So they're not foam bullets?"
She shook her head.
Steve waved as he headed off in the direction he was going.
Tony looked grabbed a bunch of plastic cups and plates off the shelves. He heard Thor's booming voice and chuckled, wondering what the outrage was now. He glanced to the side and almost dropped his stuff. "What are you doing?"
Steve smiled behind the mask, keeping his arms out.
"Ha, ha. Steve, I know that's you."
Steve lifted his mask off. "Look, Tony, I'm you!" He placed the Iron Man mask back on his face and put his arm up again, making a high-pitched noise that mimicked Tony's lasers.
"My lasers do not sound like that!" he said defiantly.
"Um, yeah, they do. They're pretty girly sounding."
Tony diverted from the subject. "You're acting like a little kid!" he said, trying to pull the mask off.
"Natasha and Clint were running through the store with something called nerf guns!" Steve whined.
"Now you sound like one, too," Tony muttered.
"Hey, you're complaining as well." Steve put out his arms and zoomed out of the aisle. Tony's face grew red with embarrassment.
"I don't know him," he muttered to the lady who was watching them with a strange expression.
Steve ran past Thor, who had moved on to oranges. Thor's mouth gaped open. "Where did you get that, patriotic man with a shield?"
Steve stopped and lifted up his mask. "I'll show you. They have stuff for everyone."
Thor eagerly followed Steve to the toy aisle.
"Is this my hammer?" Thor inquired, lifting it up. Steve nodded, taking off his Iron Man gear and put on the Thor stuff instead. As Steve picked up a hammer, Thor grew angry. "Any mortal can pick up my hammer?"
"Relax, it's made of plastic," Steve said cheerfully.
Thor looked over the products. "I think I'll be the angry green one," he said, placing some fists over his hands.
Suddenly, Tony ran into the aisle. "Oh, look at me! I'm a ninety-year-old virgin!" he cried holding Captain America's shield and wearing his mask.
Thor laughed heartily. "That was funny," he said.
Steve's face flushed. "Ha, ha."
"I was beat up everyday in every alley of Brooklyn!"
"I'm a giant test rat!"
Steve picked up a lightsaber from the wall facing them. "Okay, Stark. It's on."
"In case you don't notice, but I have your shield. That plastic won't affect me at all!"
"And that plastic won't save you at all!" Steve swung down, causing Tony to duck under the shield. They ran out of the aisle, Tony still yelling taunts and Steve still hitting him.
The same mother and son almost collided with the two superheroes. The little boy looked up at his mother. "Mommy—"
She shook her head. "I think we're done shopping today."
"There you are, Thor!" Bruce grabbed his shoulder. Thor smiled.
"Hello, Dr. Banner."
"We're getting ready to buy our stuff, now."
They headed down to the checkout lane where the other four already stood. The group stood in silence, nice, calm music playing from the speakers. The woman and her son stood in front of them, the son gazing at them wide-eyed. Steve waved at him. Tony hit Steve's arm.
Ignoring it, Steve pulled out something from his wallet. "What's this again?"
"A credit card, old timer," Tony responded.
"And what do credit cards do?"
"You give it to the cashier, and the cashier pays off everything with it."
"So… it has unlimited money?"
Tony chuckled. "I wish. You have to make deposits in your account or pay everything off later."
Steve's eyebrows furrowed. "That's so stupid! What's the point of them if you can just pay now?" He sighed angrily. "People nowadays…."
Thor stood over by the candy bars, grabbing one of everything as Tony and Steve discussed credit cards. "Do I have to pay for this too?"
Bruce nodded. "Yes, you do."
Thor looked sad. "I do not have any Midgardian money."
Steve, looking more eager than before, said, "I'll pay for it! I have money in my account!"
After they checked out, they headed through the automatic doors, which preoccupied Steve and Thor for a few more minutes until they had to be dragged away from them.
As they left, Thor exclaimed, "We shall have to come to this market you call 'Target' again!"
Steve nodded weakly.
The rest were slightly amused.