Beck/Jade, slight Sam/Freddie

The whole thing was Freddie's idea, so of course, everyone blamed him. He came up with it during an iCarly brainstorming session. "Hey, guys, why don't we try out a game show of sorts? Get a couple of couples or potential couples on the show and see who the 'Worst Couple' really is. We could call it Queries for Couples."

Carly and Sam agreed (wholeheartedly, although Sam insisted on changing it to 'Questions' for Couples), but no one blamed them.

It was also Carly's idea to invite them to be on the show, but still no one blamed her. "You know that girl Tori that I met at Freddie's 'party'? The girl Steven was two-timing me with? Well, we've been talking on Splashface a lot, so I thought maybe we could invite them to be on the show."

(Freddie agreed. This made it entirely his fault.)

So Carly sent a message to Tori on Splashface, detailing Freddie's idea and asking if they'd be interested. Tori replied within a few hours, saying they were definitely interested and six of them would be coming – her friends Andre, Cat, Beck, Jade (well, Jade wasn't really her friend, she explained), and Robbie, along with herself, of course. No one ever blamed either of them, disappointingly enough. All the blame fell on Freddie, and all the more since he agreed to be the host.

But of course, we should probably start at the beginning.

When the six students arrived, it became obvious within moments what the dynamic was like between the group. Beck had his arm around Jade and was wearing a friendly smile, while Jade glared at everyone. Cat was bouncing around, talking to anyone who would listen. Andre was chatting animatedly with Tori, who was talking to Andre and waving at Carly. Robbie was looking insulted – apparently his puppet had insulted him or something like that.

Carly didn't seem to mind. "Hey, guys!"

"Is Roger here?" Cat bounced on her toes.

"Roger?" Everyone was confused, at least, until Gibby came bounding down the stairs. "Hey, it's the robot girl!" he exclaimed. Everyone else just ignored them.

Spencer joined the group not long after. "Hey, it's you guys!" he said, upon seeing Beck and Jade.

"Yeah, it's the weirdo from the hot tub," Jade remarked dryly.

A weary looking Beck put in, "Can we just go upstairs and start this game show thing? You have no idea what it's been like spending hours with a bunch of weirdos."

"Actually, I have a pretty good idea." Carly grinned, eying the rest of her iCarly team. They just laughed.

"It's going to be fun, Beck; you'll see! We've still got a week here!" Tori exclaimed, trying to keep spirits high. But of course, she could not have predicted the disaster that was to come.

There was no rehearsal for their game show bit; no one thought that they really needed one. Jade, of course, flat-out refused, saying that one 'stupid game show' was enough for her. Everyone else just nodded along.

When it came time to start, they were split into three couples. Beck and Jade, of course, were the first, but in an attempt to shake things up, Andre was put with Cat and Robbie with Tori, much to Tori's dismay (though Tori did not say a thing). It turned out that they did not need the 'shaking up'. Things were shaky enough on their own.

The first question went to Cat and Andre. Cat, of course, looked as peppy as always, and as soon as Freddie asked the first question, Cat immediately shrieked out the answer. Everyone looked fairly disturbed and annoyed for a moment, but Andre, who seemed to be an expert on dealing with Cat, just repeated her answer. Cat squealed and threw her arms around Andre, making everyone laugh. Shaking his head, Freddie just moved on to the next couple, Tori and Robbie.

The nerdy boy seemed to have convinced himself that he was actually dating Tori, which quite obviously got on Tori's nerves. He predicted that Tori would pop his back pimple (which, admittedly, sounded nasty, but it was Sam who had come up with the questions, so no one really expected deep, thought-provoking questions). Tori, of course, looked disgusted at the mere notion of it, so the two of them got their question wrong.

And then there was the last couple, Beck and Jade. Just a few minutes ago, Beck had been sitting with his arm around Jade, but now he was staring at her, disdain clear in his eyes, as if he was challenging her to do something wrong. Of course, her tenaciousness was written all over her face.

With a small gulp, Freddie quickly blurted out a question about the ocean. And that was where our problem began.

"I hate oceans," Jade said in a stiff tone.

Beck sighed. "That's not the question."

"I wouldn't go to the ocean because I hate the ocean," Jade retorted, narrowing her eyes at him. "So the question is completely invalid."

"Just answer the question," Beck told her desperately, running a hand through his hair.

"I can't."

"Do it."

"You know what happened to me in third grade."

"The dolphin was just being friendly!"

"Was it?"

"I'm not happy with our relationship!"

Everyone was quiet for a moment, including Jade West, who, as far as everyone had seen, was always the one to break silences. Not this time, though. She just sat there for a moment, looking hurt and angry, until at last she finally stood up.

"If that's how you feel," she told him coolly, and then, without another word, she strode out of the studio, slamming the door behind her. The entire studio shook and the camera quivered as it focused in on the shocked look on Beck Oliver's face.

Beck bit his lip and then shook his head. "The show must go on."

By the time they finished iCarly, Jade West had still not returned. Though no one voiced their concern, it was evident by the looks on everyone's faces that they were worried about her.

Freddie glanced at the ever-growing list of comments. Most of them were divided between Tori and Robbie and Beck and Jade, though of course a lot of them said something along the lines of "Beck is such a jerk!" and "Beck doesn't deserve Jade.". With a sigh, he turned to Beck and Sam, both of whom were reading over his shoulder.

"Interesting results," Sam commented, casting a look at Beck. "Maybe you should, I dunno, think about them? That was a pretty jerky move you just pulled… and not beef jerky, either, cause beef jerky is good."

Though Freddie would have normally countered her at this point, for once, he agreed with her, so he just gave a slight shrug to Beck. Beck gave a small frown. "I'm tired of fighting."

"And that's how you're gonna fix it?" Sam inquired, raising an eyebrow. "By letting your girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend, I dunno – get kidnapped in the rain or some chiz? Seattle's not the safest city, ya know."

At this point, Andre jumped in. "You say chiz too? What is chiz, a German sausage?"

"Yeah, man," Sam replied. "But that's not important now. What is important is this idiot getting up and going out there to get his girl –"

"Won't be needed," came a voice from the doorway. Jade West walked in the door, mascara streaks decorating her pale face, but her hard gaze dared anyone to comment. Slowly, she walked over to stand between Tori and Cat. "Let's go back to the hotel."

"Jade…" Beck said, trailing off.

"Don't," she cut him off, and then she walked back out the door, slamming it behind her. After a minute, Tori and Cat followed her.

Sam gave a low whistle. "Dang, girl."

"You say that too?" Andre asked excitedly.

It was all Freddie's fault, of course. The whole meltdown was Freddie's fault, at least according to the viewers, and oh, everyone else in the world, and of course, that implied that he had to find a way to fix it. Carly gave him a sympathetic glance once she saw the multitude of comments informing him (in no uncertain terms) that he had to find a way to fix it, but Sam seemed completely unsympathetic to his harsh predicament. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.

"Good luck with this one, Benson," she said with a laugh.

He rolled his eyes. "Look, Sam – "

"Don't care," Sam called. "Anyway, I kinda called Vega and her friends to come over here to, I dunno, help you out. Don't say I never did anything nice for you."

This sort of bewildered him, since of course, he'd never known Sam to be fond of doing nice things, but he called "Thanks," anyway as she walked out. After a minute, Carly's doorbell rang again.

"I'm guessing it's for you!" Carly called from upstairs from where she was tidying up her room.

"Yeah," Freddie responded, pulling the door open. As soon as he did, a big mess of teenagers poured in and deposited themselves on the couch.

"Beck and Jade broke up," Cat wailed, placing her head in her hands. "Like, for real. They both changed their relationship statuses on The Slap and everything. But when they're not fighting, they're a good couple! I promise!" She gave Freddie big puppy-dog eyes, as if she was pleading for him to believe her.

"I believe you," Freddie replied, glancing around at the other three, who were actually nodding in agreement. Though, of course, the last (unfamiliar) girl was shaking her head.

"I'm glad Beck and Jade broke up," she said, throwing out her arms. "Now I'll have a chance with Beck!"

Tori sighed and pushed the girl's arm down. "You'll never have a chance with Beck, Trina." She turned apologetically to Freddie. "This is my sister, Trina. She insisted on tagging along because she has nothing better to do."

"Untrue," Trina said with a pout.

"It's true," Andre put in. "Anyway, if you're gonna fix Beck and Jade, you have to know a few things about them first, yeah?"

"That would be helpful," Freddie told them. "Let's start simple. How long were they together?"

"Almost three years," Robbie piped up.

Groaning, Freddie ran a hand through his hair. "That's a long time. Okay, um, have they ever broken up before?"

"Yeah," Tori said with a groan. "They got back together, though, because Jade bought Beck a dog and it attacked his dad, and then he kissed her and, um, yeah, I totally wasn't watching them…"

"Helpful." Freddie sighed. "Look, do you guys have any ideas?"

"Sorry, man," Andre told him lightly. "You're on your own with this chiz."

Freddie groaned. And then he groaned again. "You sound like Sam."

Latest Comments:

Cottoncandy77: Have you gotten Beck and Jade back together yet, Freddie?

Loveforevah: Can we see Beck and Jade on iCarly again? I want to see Beck apologize!

Samnfreddie: Beck was such a jerk! Bring Beck and Jade back!

queries4u: I want to see Beck and Jade again! Jade was soooo funny!

Heyguys: Beck and Jade belong together, I think!

One thing you should know about problems is that they don't get solved unless someone steps up to fix them. And of course, in that case, neither Beck nor Jade was willing to solve the problem, so for a day or so, nothing got fixed. This goes along with another law that you may know – 'objects that are not motion will remain unmoving until acted upon by another force'.

And of course, Freddie Benson was the force that put them in motion in this case.

Robbie Shapiro, otherwise known as the 'weakest link', finally relented and guided Freddie to where the Beck Oliver kid was. Beck was sitting on his bed, just staring at the ground, and Freddie took a seat beside him. "Hey."

"If this is about Jade, you can leave," Beck replied. "It's gonna be okay."

"Not unless one of you does something about it," Freddie informed him.

"I guess." Beck sighed. "I'm tired of fighting."

"Tell me about it," Freddie told him, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh, yeah. You used to date Sam, right?" Beck inquired, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, Jade and I used to watch your show a lot. She claimed to hate it, but she really does like it. I can tell. Anyway, you and Sam?"

"Yeah, we used to date."


"We broke up."

"Oh." Beck seemed oddly disappointed by this. "See, it's the same, isn't it? Jade and I broke up cause we were tired of fighting; you broke up with Sam cause you were tired of fighting."

"But you and Jade worked," Freddie pointed out. "You dated for three years; you had to have worked."

"Been doing your research?" Beck chuckled. "Oh sure, we worked at one point, but I think maybe we need a break for a bit until we can agree to talk things out. I just…"

"Do you love her?"

"Of course."

There was no uncertainty in his tone. None at all.

Most people would say that Sam Puckett was completely and entirely selfish. Of course, those people didn't exactly know what they were talking about. At least that was what Sam thought. She had agreed to go talk to the insane Jade West girl, to find out what she felt for Beck.

The Tori girl was easy to manipulate. She quickly purloined Jade's room number and headed up the elevator, stopping at Jade's room. With a sigh, she knocked on the door.

"Go away."

"No," Sam said stubbornly. "And if you don't open the door, I'll pick the lock."

There was a long, tortured sigh, and then Jade West appeared on the other side of the door. She glared at Sam. "I'm opening the door because I want to."

"Noted," Sam responded. "Look, kid…"

"Don't want to talk about Beck," Jade mumbled, burying her face in a mascara-stained pillow.

"I figured, but it's kinda necessary," Sam informed her, taking a bite of her beef jerky. "I mean, you guys love each other. When that chiz happens, you've gotta make the most of it." She tried to pretend that her words didn't apply to her own life.

"Beck doesn't love me," Jade replied coldly. "You heard what he said. He wasn't happy with our relationship."

"You guys did fight a lot," Sam pointed out, smiling slightly at the fact that Jade hadn't even bothered questioning why Sam had randomly showed up at her hotel room – or better, how she found it.

"Yeah, but that's how we showed love," Jade informed her. "You know, playful fighting and all of that. And then all of a sudden the playful fighting got serious, and well, it was all downhill from there."

"But you love him?" Sam asked quietly.

"Of course."

She didn't sound uncertain in the least.

Actions have repercussions, and the repercussions of the game show were indubitably serious. Jade didn't really come out of her room, and thus it was impossible to get her to talk to the (equally as lonely) Beck. Sam and Freddie were about to jump off of a building.

"These two are more stubborn than a sweaty mule in an ocean of syrup," Sam huffed indignantly.

"What does that even – " began Freddie, but he was cut off by Carly saying "Now you know how I feel!" and stomping up the stairs.

"Well," Sam muttered. "She doesn't hold back." Then she scooped up her phone and called someone. "Hey, dude. Yeah, I need you to get this girl out of her room. Yeah, sure, tie her up, handcuff her, whatevs. I hear she has scissors though so you might wanna watch out. Um, sure, you can wear your iron suit. She's at the hotel on the corner of your street, room 239. Stop talking. Bye."

"Your cousin?" Freddie inquired.

"My uncle this time," Sam corrected with a grunt. "Think you can get that Beck kid with the fluffy hair to show up?"

"Maybe." Freddie gave a small shrug. "Can't tell him Jade's coming, though."

"Course not," Sam retorted. "But I dunno, he might not want to come here with a dork."

"Hey," Freddie said, but he smiled anyway. "Some things never change, huh?"

Sam just laughed. "You know it."

"Look, thanks for the help," Freddie told her with a slight smile. "You didn't have to. And I mean, it was really my fault. Even though you and Carly agreed – "

"Hey, hey, let's not get carried away," Sam said, elbowing him.

"But thanks," Freddie told her.

Sam smiled back. "Any time, Freddo."

"I am going to call the police," was one of the many threats streaming out of Jade West's mouth as she was dragged into the room. "I'm going to call the police and you're going to go to jail, because this is illegal on so many levels, and I feel absolutely violated."

"We're going to let you go in a sec, girl," said one of the men as they knocked on the door of a familiar apartment. "Just hang on."

"I'll make you hang on," she threatened, but the man didn't let go, no matter how much she scratched and bit and clawed.

At last, the door to the apartment opened and the men flung Jade in. When she saw who was seated on the couch, she attempted to make a run for it, but the men stopped her and threw her back. Trying to maintain some of her fragile dignity, she flipped her hair and stared at Beck Oliver. "Hi."

"Jade," Beck said in a clipped tone. "Freddie didn't mention you were coming."

"Funny, cause I haven't spoken to Benson at all," Jade retorted bitterly. "I was brutally kidnapped and then driven here."

"Someone's got a flair for the dramatic," Beck noted with a laugh.

"Speak for yourself. You came here of your own will," Jade hissed.

"True." Beck crossed his arms and then stared at her, a long, lingering stare that would probably make anyone uncomfortable. At last, he said, "You look nice today."

"Hilarious," Jade retorted sarcastically. "I got dragged out of bed; you can't expect me to look like perfect princess Vega."

"No," Beck replied quickly. "I meant that. No sarcasm."

"Oh." Jade stared at the ground. "Thanks."

The awkwardness was killing Sam, so of course she decided to jump in and maybe speed things up a bit. "JUST MAKE UP ALREADY!" she bellowed from the top of the stairs.

"Looks like we've got an audience," Beck informed her, scratching the back of his neck. "So, um, what do you say, West? Shall we give them a show?"

"Oh yes," Jade told him, stepping up on her tippy toes to lean closer to him (much to her dismay, Beck actually still was quite a bit taller than her). "I'm sorry, I guess. For being so difficult. For everything."

"Don't be," Beck whispered. "I was an idiot. I shouldn't have said – you know, everything I said. I guess I was just tired of fighting. I wasn't unhappy with our relationship."

"Me too." Jade closed her eyes. "Let's try to talk things out. You know, after we kiss."

"Love you," Beck said quietly as he pressed his lips against Jade's.

Jade pulled back for a second to whisper "You better" before kissing him again.

"Thanks, dude," Beck Oliver told Freddie as he stood in the doorway to the Shay apartment, his hand entwined with Jade's. "I owe you."

"You could make it up to them by being on iCarly," Carly suggested, a cheeky smile on her face.

"No more game shows," Jade muttered dangerously.

"Deal." Sam grinned. "I mean, unless you're not opposed to wearing a bikini and throwing dog food at dorks dressed up as monkeys…"

"What?" Beck raised an eyebrow.

"We're opposed," Jade said quickly, elbowing her boyfriend in the ribs.

"Sensible," Freddie commented wryly. "Tell Tori we'd love to have her and well, the rest of you on the show again sometime. Apart from the whole disaster, it was pretty fun, and it was great meeting you guys."

"No," was Jade's eloquent response.

"I will," Beck said with a smile. "Seriously, thanks. We'll see you again sometime."

Beck walked out the door first, but Jade hesitated for a second. Letting go of Beck's hand, Jade told them quickly, "Thanks for everything. I don't hate you. Bye." Then she took off after Beck, who wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

"You done good, Puckett," Carly said with a smile, elbowing her best friend in the ribs.

"It was mostly Benson," Sam said with a shrug. "But yeah, I'd say we did."

"No more game shows," Freddie muttered with a sigh, sinking into a couch. "And keep Jade away. One Sam is more than enough."

"Hey," Sam protested. "Jade West is nothing like me."

"If by nothing like you, you mean 'we could be twins', then she's nothing like you," Freddie told her with a smirk. "Although Andre does talk a lot like you."

"She doesn't like meat all that much," Sam grumbled. "Besides, I already have a twin."

"Yeah, Melanie." Freddie wrinkled up his nose.

Carly just sighed, sensing a familiar argument coming on. "You guys want lemonade?" she called, to which both of her friends replied "No" and "Your lemonade makes me puke". With a scowl, she went back and fixed herself a glass of lemonade, figuring that her friends would explode during that time. However, she heard nothing. With a suspicious frown, she walked out to see Sam and Freddie sitting beside each other on the couch, Freddie's arm around Sam's shoulders.

Hm, she thought to herself. If Sam and Freddie could get Beck and Jade to make up, then maybe she could do the same for her friends…

The last thing you should know about incidents like these is that occasionally good comes out of the bad, that occasionally something that seems like a complete disaster can turn into something that actually makes you stronger in the end. Beck and Jade could vouch for that.

"Wanna go to the beach?"

"I hate beaches. Remember, Beck, the dolphin."


(Or maybe not.)

"How about the cinema?"

"The Hunger Games is out. It has blood, right?"

"Yeah. So you wanna go?"

"Of course I do. Kids killing kids. Fun times."

"Sounds like a plan, then."

"Love you, babe."

"Love you too."

Maybe it was Freddie's fault; maybe it was destined to happen anyway. Either way, it all turned out for the best, and in the end, that was all that counted.

To: Freddie Benson, Sam Puckett, Carly Shay

From: Tori Vega

Subject: Thanks

This is Tori, Cat, Andre, and Robbie on Tori's email, and we wanted to say thanks.

Beck and Jade have stopped fighting constantly. And that means Robbie cries less. Before they broke up, he cried six times.

Yeah, six.

Anyway, thanks guys. Jade's been more tolerable and chiz. (IS THAT A GERMAN SAUSAGE?) They seem happy and that's, well, that's good. Also we'd be honored to be on iCarly again as a weird 'follow up' thing.

Um, yeah. Gotta get back to our card game. Bye! See you soon, hopefully.

A/N: Okay that was bad. I'm aware. I don't even.

Okay first I'm really rusty at writing iCarly, particularly Seddie, so hopefully I didn't screw it up. This is an AU of Victorious' 'The Worst Couple' in which 'Queries for Couples' is a segment on iCarly instead of a game show run by Sinjin. Also Beck and Jade make up, because OTP. I hope you enjoyed this at least somewhat. I was experimenting with a new writing style, slight narrator-style/slight third person omniscient style, so I hope that wasn't too confusing.

Also I'm posting this under Victorious so that I can file it under Beck/Jade, cause that's the main pairing, so don't hate me.

Please review and don't favorite without reviewing.