Tears


Summary: Kouki gives up on Rin. One-shot. One-sided Kouki/Rin


For as long as he could remember, he had always looked at Rin... watched over Rin. So why had he not been able to see what she felt for Daikichi till now? He should have been able to know it before she realised it herself.

Kouki turned his eyes towards the park where a few children were still playing. Their parents, mostly mothers, sat and gossiped. A man was playing football with two kids. Kouki felt something heavy pressing on his chest. He couldn't move forward.

Daikichi. Of course, it was Daikichi. Rin only ever worried about Daikichi. When she had been angry that he smelled of Akari-senpai's perfume, Kouki had been thrilled. That anger had a feel of jealousy about it, which obviously signalled that she felt something for him. Something like he felt for her. But it wasn't so. It wasn't anything like he felt for her. Because he loved her. He loved her so much. He loved her like she loved Daikichi.

"Onii-chan! Won't you please pass the ball? Onii-chan!"

Startled, Kouki realised that the little girl was yelling at him. The ball had rolled near his feet. He just had to kick it towards the kids and their father. But he couldn't. He couldn't.

The man came towards him. Perhaps it was his concerned look that made Kouki realise it, or maybe he had already known that hot tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"Onii-chan's crying!" The little girl had followed her father. She was now staring at him wide eyed.

Kouki could hold it in no longer. He knelt down and a choking sob escaped him. Then another. And yet another.

"Papa, is onii-chan hurt? Did you hurt him with the ball, Papa?"

Kouki clutched his sides and bent over. His eyes were blinded by tears so he didn't see his tears fall desperately on the grass. He felt too crushed by pain to feel them soak through his trousers to his knees. Rin. Rin won't ever love him that way. Rin would never be his. No matter how much he loved her. No matter how much he wanted to hold her, she would never be his. He would never be able to win against Daikichi.

He felt a small hand on the back of his neck and looked up, breathing hard, tears pouring down his face.

"Where does it hurt, onii-chan?"

He saw the man looking at him concernedly. He made no movement to pull back his daughter. His son stood next to him, gaping at him in wonder.

"...doesn't..." whispered Kouki, his breath coming in short gasps.

The girl ran back to her father's side. He had scared her. But she still watched him, peeking at him from behind her father's legs.

"I'm okay," Kouki managed to say, giving her a feeble smile.

"Isn't that nice, Aya?" the man said, patting his daughter's head. "Onii-chan is feeling all better now."

Kouki took off his bag and lay back on the grass. His nose was stuffy from crying and made it difficult to breathe, so he rolled over on his side.

Yes, he was feeling all better now. He loved Rin too much to cry over her any more. If he wasn't strong, he won't be able to help her confess to Daikichi. She won't be able to do it all by herself. She would be too concerned about Daikichi to do that. She won't selfishly do that to him.

But he, Kouki, hadn't given up on Rin for nothing. He would make sure that her love would definitely mean something. He would make sure that she won't get hurt. He wasn't afraid of Daikichi hurting Rin. No, he would never have given Rin to Daikichi if he felt that there was even a one percent chance that Rin would get hurt. But he was afraid she would hurt herself if she tried to hide her feelings too long.

It was Kouki's responsibility to make sure that Rin was happy.

Because he loved her.

He loved her so much.

He just loved her so much.


FIN