Thank you for your patience with my lack of language skills.
Laura had enough of Ireland and the castle. But she definitely was not ready to go back to L. A. all alone. How strange would it be to return without her husband, people might keep asking dumb and curious questions she did not want to answer. And she was also way too distrustful to leave Harry in Ireland without a chance to supervise and knowledge about his actions. It probably would fit right into his plans to get rid of her and investigate all by husband's melancholy got her infected, the country and the weather just added to her gloom.
Remington Steele sat at his new favourite place, an old armchair by the fireplace and re-read the letter he had found in Daniel's drawer again and again. The letter was intended to clear the situation after Daniel's death, if they had not had any chance to talk.
I can't tell you how much you mean to me and how important your well-being always was to me. And this is the reason I have to relief myself writing this letter.
When I found you on the streets it was easy for me to gain your heart and your trust. You were lonely and full of anger and rage. Mad at the people, who should have taken good care of you, teaching you how to find a place in life. Instead of fulfilling their duties all of them just sent you away with all the pain, fear and misery of your young years. You have – understandably, of course - kept suffering from that for your entire life, building up quite some hatred and fury. The wall you built was always so present, I never found the courage to tell you the truth.
The truth is, you are my son. There are no doubts, I made a test. But instead of being a good father I was just an aging con man and a pickpocket, a cheating and lying coward.
In my younger years in London I happened to meet a wonderful and beautiful Irish maiden, her beauty is still present in my mind. You got the major part of your appearance from her side, gladly. First it was a one-night stand, neither of us had considered it possible for her to get pregnant so soon. When her parents got news of it they ordered her home. I hardly know more about her than her first name and that her family came from somewhere near Dublin. Her parents were quite wealthy, but because of her shameful pregnancy Caitlin, your mother, brought disgrace to her family. In London she wanted to prove that she was able to live alone and take care of herself. I was a reckless and brainless rapscallion at this time, did not even think I possibly could get caught one day. And this made me careless. So things just happened as they had to be and I was sentenced to jail and lost contact with Caitlin. When I got out of jail it was way too late. I never managed to find out more about her or her whereabouts. I was searching for a long time, without any success.
I hope you will one day be able to forgive me my cowardly behaviour and will be able to concentrate on your new life with Linda. Maybe you will finally manage to build love and confidence upon your grief.
I'm proud of you, I wish you had had a father, worthy to be called a father.
Even after being read fort he tenth time this letter brought tears of despair and sadness into Harry's eyes. Tears of all the lost chances and a forlorn childhood and the search for belonging in this world. The lonely years had made him the man he was. Especially after seeing Laura as an anchor in his troubled life it hurt that she was not able to see how much he was being tormented and suffering. But he had to do something. Dublin was a big city, alright, but not that big. If he took his time, he could check all the entries in the register office and maybe his chances were not even so bad.
Laura went for a walk to get her head clear. On her path around the little lake close to the castle she finally tried to see the beauty of the Irish landscape and nature. All the rain left the grass slightly wet and a green so deep she had never seen before. Little drops of water where glowing and it looked to her like she had found a treasure. Just a few weeks ago she had not been able to believe that her world could be turned around so much. Mr. Steele seemed to be the man she could trust and share the burden life brings. It took long enough. For many people childhood and youth are a time of disappointment and humiliation, of loneliness and fear to be abandoned. Laura and Harry had not made a difference. But it was still different. Both of them had been abandoned. Growing up with that experience for both of them meant to cope with a burden of pain, even a lot of adults were not able to handle. Laura had been proud of her accomplishments and that she had found her way out of the hole of doubt, self-pity and desperate longing to be loved. A couple of weeks ago she had been more than glad to become Harry's wife and have a caring and loving husband by her side, in good times as well as in bad times. But in her life things never turned out as she hoped them to. Everything went wrong, right from the beginning. She felt Harry trusting her. She was aware that his life had been everything but not easy. But she was as well aware, that she had failed as being a supportive and loving wife. Tony Roselli had mad a great impression, but he was not real either. Laura straightened. It did not make any sense to reject this country. It was her husband's home. It did not make any sense to trust this marriage, they just had a lot of work ahead of them. It did not make any sense to regret the time with Toni Roselli, he just used her fear and uneasiness to his advantage. May the agency be in need of her work, this here was more important. Harry had been a wanderer without name or family for too long a time, it was his right to take the time and look for marks of his history. And Laura accepted it as her duty to support and comfort him. Mildred would have to fly back and take care of the agency. She would stay here, not matter how much time it needed.