She had...cared for him. More than she cared for the others, and it had started to grow in her, grow to something she feared, but longed for. Her care had warmed her, it grew and grew until it became a small ember of affection. Her emotions had seen this affection and gathered around, tired of being cold, only to be consumed as it grew into a roaring flame. First Happy, she put her hands to the flame first and it had engulfed her, but she went willingly into it. Next came Brave, then Timid and then there was Rude and Rage who had said the flame was akin to herself but different, as another side of a coin almost. The last to be consumed by the flame was Knowledge, who knew what the ember turned flame was, she knew and she warned the others to caution before finally giving in and letting it consume her. Once all of her emotions accepted the flame into themselves, a new light shone from them and coalesced into the being known as Love. Love existed, because of, and solely for, Beastboy. Her Beastboy. This new person was not her Beastboy. This person may look like her Beastboy, but he wasn't. Beastboy was kind, this man was cruel. Beastboy was compassionate, this man was heartless. Beastboy...her Beastboy...he was caring, loved to make people laugh, had a child like quality to him, an innocence that shone through his character, making him who he was, making him the hero he was. This man was none of that, he was an enforcer, a thug, and he held none of the qualities that had fed her Love, made it grow into a force that sustained her, and now, her love cried every night, and every day, for the man she never was able to meet.
"Raven?" she jerked out of her thoughts as a hand landed upon her shoulder. She put on her mask of apathy and turned to the group, all waiting before her and staring with concern in their faces. Robin was the one who had spoken. "You've been staring at that door for a few minutes now, is everything ok?"
"I'm fine." she said, and before anyone could say anything else, she entered the training room. Beastboy was finishing his small warm up and already had an idea how this conversation was going to go. He stretched a few times and sat down on a stool by the boxing ring they had, he took off his shirt and was waiting for everyone to come in so Robin could start. They stood in a semicircle around him.
"Beastboy, what the hell was that back there?"
"In the car? It was so tense in there you could cut the air with a butter-knife. Had to loosen things up, before something blew up, I had no idea Starfire was going to do that though." cue the sardonic laughter sending shivers down everybody's spines. "Very funny."
"No, in the bank but," he stopped and looked at his team mate "Beastboy..." the changeling looked up at him and he wasn't exactly sure what to say. Beastboy was looking at him expectantly.
"Yes?" Robin seemed to hesitate but went forward with it anyway.
"Yes. Your point being?"
"My point is, that at the beginning it wasn't that bad, you were doing as you were asked, improving in battle. You were being respectful and mature, you even called me sir...but now I'm not so sure." Beastboy nodded
"Yes, that's true, I was tired of being the weakest, the punching bag, the one everyone picked on, so I set out to realize my potential. However, the only reason I called you sir was because I considered you my superior." Robin's had a suspicion.
"So you don't now?"
"No, I don't." Robin's eyes narrowed.
"And why is that?"
"Because I know I'm a better fighter than all of you now." He stated it as a fact, like they had asked if water was wet and he had told them it was. They all scoffed at that, Starfire even giggled. Beastboy had never, never, beaten any of the Titan's when they sparred.
"What?" Robin was amused by this. Fucking amused. Beastboy got up and walked to Robin, a smile on his face, fury in his heart.
"Come on." he said gesturing Robin to walk with him. "Let me explain." He put the arm holding his shirt on Robins lower-middle back, Robin's belt was jostled and he looked down "Sorry, my shirt caught." Robin nodded and Beastboy retracted his arm. He was leading Robin to a big wrestling mat, it was square and about a hundred feet long on every side. They stopped on the edge, next to a video console. The rest followed.
"So, what's your explanation?"
"As to why I've changed or why I said I was better than you?" Robin smirked a bit.
"Both, but let's start with why you've changed, then we'll move on." Beastboy nodded and motioned them closer. He turned to the video console and began typing. Soon a file had opened and inside were several folders, each labeled a different year. Each year was since the titans had formed. He stepped back and said
"Go ahead." Cyborg looked at him, expecting a trick of some kind before he stepped forward and clicked on folder labeled as current year. There were video clips inside, at least a hundred of them. Everyone got a little closer to the screen.
"Woah, BB, what is this?" he asked, looking over to his friend. Beastboy merely crossed his arms, still holding the shirt, and said.
"Find out." Cyborg turned back and hit 'play all'. It was surveillance feed from the tower cameras. As it started it showed Cyborg yelling at Beastboy and Beastboy trying to defend himself
'but Cy, she was crying and I-'
'No Beastboy! You need to grow up, and act your damn age!' it skipped to a video of him and Star talking
'and then she insulted me. I was just trying to make her smile, is there anything wrong wi-' she cut him off.
'Beastboy, I believe you should be more, 'mature' yes?' then she got up and left, leaving Beastboy with a hurt look on his face. Skip to him and Raven
'C'mon Rae, I was trying to be nice and-'
'Well you weren't succeeding! I wish you would just act your age!' she slammed a door in his face and he trudged away, looking dejected. Skip to him and Raven, different scenery. Raven was sick and in bed. Beastboy had brought her soup.
'Here, I got you soup and some of your tea, and I even made you a card!' he was smiling at her and she glared at him, picking up the card.
'This' she shoved it in his face 'is stupid, I can't believe you still do stuff like this. It's so immature, and useless.'
'But Rae, there's a whole get well section at the card store! Plus, I made this one special for you!' her eye twitched and she held it up
'This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say you should act your age' she ripped the card in half, not even reading it or taking it out of it's envelope. He watched with a stricken face as she continued to rip it up. 'now leave me alone.' he got up and left. Skip to him and Robin at Robin's desk.
'But Robin I just want the team to go out and have some pizza together. I-'
'I don't care Beastboy, until you are up to my standards, you don't go anywhere.'
'End of discussion. God Beastboy, you need to grow up and act your damn age.' Robin got up and left. He hung his head and in a voice barely audible sing-song-y voice Beastboy said
'Happy birthday to me.' skip to him eating.
Beastboy was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal when Cyborg walked in. He was holding one of Raven's books. Beastboy saw this and said
'Uh, Cy, what are you doing?'
'You sure that's a good idea?'
'Yup, here, hide this for me.' he handed Beastboy the book and left. Beastboy looked at the book, picked it up and left as well. The cameras followed him as he made his way to Raven's room and knocked on her door. She opened it.
'Hey Rae, I figured you might want this back. I was at th-' he got no further. Raven had seen the book, and slammed him against the wall. Hard. He was bound there by her powers, his mouth covered and sealed shut. She went over and took the book from him, slamming it in his face.
'DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU TOOK FROM ME? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS!' he struggled to say something, clearly afraid but she continued regardless. 'THIS IS INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS YOU MORON! WHAT WERE YOU DOING SNOOPING IN MY ROOM AND STEALING MY THINGS?' he was trying to defend himself but couldn't behind his bindings. 'UNTIL YOU CAN LEARN TO GROW UP AND ACT LIKE SOMEONE RESPONSIBLE YOU NEED TO STAY OUT OF MY ROOM AND THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!' she slammed him into the floor. Then the ceiling. Then the wall again where he stuck. Raven turned and went into her room, slamming the door. Beastboy wheezed out a very quiet
'You're welcome.' which dislodged him as he spoke and he fell flat on his face on the floor.
Skip to him crying in his room. He was holding a picture of two blonde adults, a man and a woman, in a Savannah setting.
'M-m-mom, *sniff* ,dad...I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry you're dead because I was too weak.' he broke into a new round of sobbing. Raven phased through the wall and watched him, hesitant almost. 'I miss you. You made me feel so loved. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss talking to you. I miss playing with her long blonde hair.' He continued to cry and raven walked up to him, hitting him on the back of his head.
'People die, get over it. No one deserves to be saved just because they had pretty hair. God, grow up already, I was more mature than you when I was eight.' Beastboy whipped around, clearly furious, fists clenched, body shaking, face a picture of pure hatred.
'GET OUT!' he roared at her.
'Or what, are you going to cry on me? People may call me a witch but I don't actually melt when I get wet you know.' Beastboy roared again and threw a chair at the wall next to her.
'OUT!' he roared, then he roared like an actual tiger and ran out of his room, presumably to the gym to and beat the hell out of a sandbag. Raven looked over to his bed and saw the photo, image down, with writing on the back
'Love you always' she read, then she snorted. 'Crying over a photo of that bitch Terra. He needs to grow up.' Raven's eyes glowed and the photo was ripped to a hundred shreds. she turned and walked out.
Beastboy stopped the movie marathon.
Raven felt like crap. She felt lower than crap. Her feeling 'horrible' about how she had treated him didn't even begin to scratch the surface. She hated herself so badly, she wanted to beg his forgiveness prostrate at his feet. To die a painful death just to apologize to him.
The Titans were still staring at the screen, but now they looked at him in shock.
"I think you get the point." he growled out.