Loki awoke to the sound of his own head pounding, it was becoming a regular thing. He hadn't eaten in 4 days and in those days he had lost a considerable amount of blood. Due to this the illusion that covered his injuries and malnourished body was becoming weak. He was awoken daily plagued with horrible nightmares. Even though this was happening nobody had noticed. Nobody had noticed him locking himself in his room, skipping meals, stealing alcohol and any type of pill he could find. Thor had returned to Asgard so Loki could get away with a lot more, making him considerably more willing to harm himself. When people came anywhere near him he would break down. He was not doing well to say the least.
Once he got enough energy to move he sat on the side of the bed, staring down at his feet. He knew Jarvis would have informed Tony that he had awoken and he would be walking thorough the door any moment. Loki held his head in his hands to try to make the pounding go away.
"Hey Lo, need anything?" Tony said walking into the room. He made sure to keep his distance from the broken god to make him more comfortable. He got no response, not that he expected one. Loki had given up talking a few days ago and he didn't seem to be letting up anytime soon. After a few moments Tony turned around and started walking out the door when Loki, surprisingly, said something.
"Uh Stark?" He inquired, only to look down and mumble something to himself. Tony looked at him expectantly. Loki looking up at him jumped alittle, then whispered, "Oh, uh, never mind."
"You already have my attention Lo, what is it?" Tony had given Loki this nickname when he realized that Loki was going to stay. He didn't seem to care so he kept it up. Loki looked to him awkwardly, his face an unreadable emotion.
"Really Stark, It's nothing. I'm sorry for bothering you." Loki sighed heavily after the phrase, looking defeated and scared. Tony looked at him and then started waking out the room again to only hear a faint, strained whisper, "Please don't leave" He looked to Loki to see him curling into himself like always. He had never seen Loki cry, he had always hidden it from everyone. But now he was sobbing freely in front of the billionaire and he couldn't help but feel the need to comfort him. He started slowly walking towards him. When he showed no signs of moving away Tony sat down next to him. When Loki started hyperventilating, and clutching his arm so tightly that his nails were drawing blood. Tony became overwhelmed and did the only thing he thought was correct, he hugged Loki.
He fully expected to be shoved away from the embrace, but nothing happened. All he knew is Loki's breathing had evened out somewhat and he was crying less. Loki had the guiltiest expression Tony had ever seen. But suddenly he felt weak, bony arms make their way around his back. Loki was hugging him. He was hugging the person who had beat him on his conquest, but it had never felt so right. So there they were, in an awkward embrace, Loki sobbing quietly into Tony's shoulder. They stayed this way for awhile until Loki's sobs subsided and he fell into an uneasy sleep.
When Loki was asleep Tony walked out of his former bedroom confused and exhausted. He had no idea what just happened, so instinctively he turned to a bottle for help. This didn't bring as many answers as he thought it would. He drowned himself in alcohol until he was in a drunken stupor. He had tinkered with his inventions, caught up on the recent happenings, and done other pointless shit, then while stumbling through his house he heard distant talking. As he followed the noise it lead directly to his room. From the sounds of things Loki was having a one-sided conversation.
"Please leave me alone" Loki said, pleading.
I will never leave you, I will be here to tell you of your failures, your flaws and misdeeds. You are a monster and I will make you know that till the day you die, Frost Giant. You don't deserve anything, everything would be better if you off yourself now.
"I already know that! Just leave me be!" desperation and, choked sobs distorting his voice.
Pleading and crying will get you nowhere, you are pathetic, nobody could love you let alone care for you. Your existence is a lie- nobody ever liked you. It's all an act.
"Please stop, please, please...please." His words only coming out as a whisper. He continued pleading, saying the same thing over and over again until he could hear nothing but the voices and mumbling. He stood up holding his head, only to double over and fall on all fours. As he was making his way to the bathroom he saw the door to the hall open, then all Loki saw was a black figure and blood, blood everywhere. So it was to Tony's surprise when he opened the door greeted by Loki screaming bloody murder.
Tony stood in shock before he came back to reality to see a terrified, shaking Loki. He cautiously approached Loki before he heard the god muttering nonsense. He looked like he was bordering on hysteria. Tony, once again completely perplexed by the situation had no idea how to help the his suffering. He was really unsure of all the things he was doing at this point, but he knew he had to help. He sat down, and slowly scooted closer to Loki. And Loki continued trying to hide himself. Tony started talking to him in the most soothing way he thought possible. "Hey, hey Loki calm down." He paused, waiting for a response, "Loki can you look at me? It's Tony, do you remember?" Loki looked to Tony visibly terrified. Once he found eye contact he yelped and hid his face in his hands.
"Y-your not Stark, please stop lying. It's all a trick. None of this is real..." Loki seemed to calm down some once he said that. Moments passed while he caught his breath, then he looked up to Tony with a completely blank expression said, "Stark, why are you here?" Tony gave no answers, only a very confused expression. "Well um you should probably go do something of importance. I will just be here." Loki stated, standing up. He looked to the door so Tony awkwardly stood up and walked out of the room. He wasn't drunk enough for this.
Loki was now alone and confused. He didn't really remember what happened, all he remembered is he passed out when the voices were louder than thoughts. But he woke up tears streaming down his face unaware as to why Tony was sitting next to him. He had looked stressed, Loki could only wonder what happened in his lapse in memory. There were a few things Loki did know though. He knew that his body hurt, his mind hurt and everything seemed surreal. His mind wandered around while he looked around the empty room but it eventually dawned on him he bothered Tony, even caused stress. That made him feel incredibly selfish, he had no right to put Tony in that situation. He knew this was another mistake, and he couldn't allow himself to make mistakes. He fixed them with the only way he knew how; sacrifice.
With that Loki smiled sadly and walked to lock the door of his temporary room. He then walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The white tile and stone was spotless, once he stopped looking at his surroundings he started shuffling around looking for a razor. He found Tony had removed the straight razor from the room, but he had still left safety razors. He took one and started to pry the thing open, cutting his fingers in the process but he really didn't care. He finally separated the plastic from the metal part of the razor and picked up one of the thin, small blades. Without hesitation he brought the blade close to his arm before moving his arm and the blade to create large gashes. Before he would drag the blade across his skin, but that was less effective than moving the whole blade to create a slashing motion causing large gashes. He was in complete euphoria when he saw five very large cuts on his arm, but he felt no plain. Blood was flowing freely out of them and you could see the tissue and veins from under his skin. Then realizing he was bleeding all over the floor Loki moved into the bathtub trying to stop his bleeding with tissue paper. This brought no help, the cuts continued to bleed very heavily. Sighing exasperatingly he tried to stand up but black engulfed his vision. Collapsing he hit his head on the tile on the wall before he fell unconscious in the acrylic tub.
"Sir, I fear we may have a complication."
"What is it Jar, alittle busy." Tony stated taking his fifth or sixth shot, he didn't really know he wasn't paying attention.
"It seems has your guest has fallen unconscious in your bathroom."
"What!" he exclaimed almost falling out of his chair, "Jesus Christ! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"You informed me to only alert you if something life threatening occurred"
He quickly walked out of his workshop and was making his way to his room in haste. When he arrived he found the door to be locked, but what else did he expect? "Jarvis, unlock this door."
"As you wish, Sir. Do you wish for me to unlock the bathroom door aswell?"
"What do you think Jarvis?!" he said hurrying to enter his room and then the bathroom. What he found almost made him vomit, and it surely made him gag quite a bit. There was blood everywhere, literally everywhere. At first he couldn't spot Loki, but as he changed his point of view he saw him. Loki's illusion covering his diminished state had broken leaving a deathly sick looking man in a pool of his own blood. Tony nearly cried at the sight before his survival instincts kicked in. He quickly and easily picked up Loki out of the bloodied tub carrying him to...somewhere. He wasn't too sure where to take him. He cradled the unconscious god close. "God damn it Loki, wake up! I can't have you die on me, Thor would be pissed to say the least."
Tony was in the most difficult situation of the day, and he previously thought it wouldn't get worse. He had no idea what to do, If he called an ambulance S.H.E.I.L.D would have a field day with Loki. But he couldn't just let him die, Loki was in Tony's care and he needed to do something. Walking into the living area he placed Loki on the couch and went to go find towels to apply pressure to Loki's wounds. Once he found this he sat next to Loki holding his arm in towels to help the bleeding subside. He had noticed how unhealthy Loki looked, he was extremely emaciated, bruises, cuts, and scars littered his body. The dark circles he usually had were a great deal darker, overall he looked drained of all life.
Tony found himself in tears, and he never cried. He didn't know why he cared so much for the god, he had hated him before. But now he was realizing how broken Loki was, how his mind corrupted him and made him make rash, usually unhealthy choices. It somehow reminded him of himself. So it was to his relief that he found Loki stirring, regaining some consciousness. He grumbled something but then seized in pain. Loki then sat up suddenly, horror-struck. "Stark!" He said, out of breath, "What are you doing?!" He shrieked as he attempted to move away only to become overwhelmed by pain. He looked to Tony to see he had been crying. Guilt flared up in Loki, "Stark, I am very sorry to cause you any grief. You can leave me here and I will be fine."
Tony stood up and exited the room. Loki knew he had done wrong, but time for that came later. Now he began tending to his arm pressing the already crimson towel on his cuts. Tony entered the room again holding a large glass of water and a plate with an assortment of fruit on it. Fear washed over Loki once more when he realized that his illusion had broken. Tony had seen him, and continues to see him in this decrepit state. Before he could apologize he heard, "Loki, you need to eat." Tony had said this in a rather serious tone before placing the plate and water on a near side-table.
Loki looked to the plate in agony, "Uh, Stark, this may look bad, but my body can go for extended periods of time without substance. I assure you that I will be fine."
"Bullshit." Tony said and stared at him for the next few seconds, and when Loki didn't eat he threatened. "I you don't eat I will force feed you. Don't try me, I will. I will not have you almost dying on me again."
Loki eyed the food again before beginning to speak then stopping to think. "Why does it matter to you what I do?"
Tony then stared at him for quite awhile, making Loki quite nervous. "Well, if you're not going to eat I'm going to make you." He stated picking up a grape, Loki stared at him almost gawking. Tony took a breath to calm himself before sitting directly next to him. "We could do this where you eat and I'm happy and your not, or we could go the way where we're both not happy. You choose."
Loki looked to him, then to the fruit. He didn't want to upset Tony further so he took a piece of fruit and hesitantly ate it. He looked to Tony who didn't seem pleased, "You're gunna have to eat more than that." Eating the grape in his hand, looking To Loki who looked utterly helpless. "Would it help if I ate too?" Loki nodded softly, eyeing Tony take another grape. He followed Tony's motions and only ate when he did and when he wasn't watching. He felt guilty eating food that wasn't his, but if it made Tony happy Loki would abide to his wishes. For another agonizing thirty minutes they slowly ate silence. Loki was drinking more than eating but Tony was pleased he ate at all. So when the plate was empty Tony stood up, took the plate and quickly exited the room. He wasn't gone for long though, he had decided he wasn't going to leave Loki alone again.
Woah, big update. Hopefully my writing has improved but I highly doubt that. DO YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING?