Disclaimer: I do not own Kick-Ass.
One Year Post Movie
Summary: There were many things Mindy Macready had yet to master handling when it came to "normal" life issues...Dave's friend Todd's crush on Hit-Girl being one of them.
A year had passed since Big Daddy's death, her vengeance had been complete, and she'd moved in with Marcus. A year had passed since she'd started living the "normal" life, Marcus doing his best to make sure she enjoyed life like any other twelve year old girl did. A year had passed since she had joined Dave's school and become his friend both when she was Hit-Girl (what Marcus didn't know wouldn't hurt him) and when she was just plain ol' Mindy Macready...whoever that was.
She was still trying to come to terms with who she was other than Hit-Girl, and what made things hard was that she felt like Hit-Girl and not Mindy. Some people say that Superman is Clark Kent's alter-ego...and yet she finds that Mindy is her alter-ego and Hit-Girl is who she truly was deep inside. The cursing and fighting and killing was her true natured, she craved violence and adrenaline and the feel of a weapon in her hand...whereas pretending to understand (much less enjoy) the topics of Justin Bieber and Barbie and Disney Channel...well...that was foreign and scary and quite off-putting to be truthful. Marcus had given her a stuffed unicorn and the only way she'd been able to handle keeping it around was by converting it into part of her security system by installing a video camera in it with a motion activation system which was powered up when she wasn't home. That way she'd know when and who was in her room when she wasn't, and she'd have a video and audio feed uplinked to her cellular.
At twelve years old she barely had a friend her age, preferring to hang out with Dave's friends despite the fact that Katie and Erica annoyed her and Marty and Todd were utter nerds. Then again, Dave was a colossal nerd, so she figured it made sense his best friends would be as well. At least they'd learnt to stop patronizing and treating her like a little kid, and while she probably looked out of place and like a kid sister tagging along with her older brothers, she felt she fit in now. The fact that the boys had stopped trying to not curse around her attested to that. Then again, she cursed more than they did, so maybe they felt their masculinity was being questioned.
Either way, she was one of the boys...and she knew how to handle that.
What she didn't know how to handle was Todd Haynes' crush on her...or, to be precise, on Hit-Girl.
It was really weird, because no matter how awkwardly Dave tried to convince Todd that he really didn't have a crush on Hit-Girl, Todd would not be swayed from his convictions. The boy with the dark brown eyes and curly blonde hair swore his love was pure and that he'd solemnly sworn to remain pure and wait for Hit-Girl to grow up and be old enough for him to be with her. She thought it was utterly stupid and dorky to be so devoted to someone whom you hadn't ever met and probably never would. She thought it was ridiculous and insane and all sorts of lame and pathetic. She thought Todd really needed to get a life and stop rewatching the few videos of her that'd been posted on the internet.
And yet, well, his devotion to Hit-Girl was oddly enough...nice. Because while she called him "Pervert" now, well, he didn't ever talk about Hit-Girl in vulgar terms. He didn't say how he'd love to fuck her or anything. Todd said she was "amazing", "cool", "awesome". It seemed a lot more like hero-worship than the "true love" he swore it was.
Also, he now always made sure he had on something purple to represent Hit-Girl, and she found herself searching for the purple object. Sometimes it was obvious, like purple shirt or pants, but sometimes it was less so, like a purple pen shoved in his pocket or a purple ring on his finger. Every time she'd find the purple, be it whatever it was, the twelve year old would roll her eyes and mentally call him a retard.
Didn't keep her from searching for the purple though.
"They are just disgusting." She rolled her eyes as she watched Dave and Katie, and Marty and Erica nearly having sex in the dark room behind them.
Todd seemed confused as to what she was referring to. He sent the couples behind them a look before smiling in amusement and returning his attention to the video game they were playing. "They really bother you?"
"They don't bother you?" She sent him a frown before returning her attention to the game, annoyed that while face to face she knew she could kick the shit outta Todd, when it came to video games she was still very much a newbie and he usually won any games in which they had to fight each other.
She'd never had the time to play games of any kind, but these violent ones that Todd had in his room called to her. She'd never tried to play hide and seek or Barbies or any of the boardgames Marcus asked her if she wanted. But the fighting games, the zombie ones, all these bloody and gory games that would give girls her age nightmares were the only way she could truly vent while not actually committing the real acts. And considering that out of the three of the Nerd Patrol Todd was the best gamer, well, she took on the best because she wanted to beat him and take his place as the top player.
"They're happy, and I get to hang out with two cute, nice girls." Todd shrugged. "Also, I get to find out first hand just what to do and what not to do when one has a girlfriend. I find it a very good learning experience."
She raised an eyebrow. "You're such a dork."
Like always he never was insulted by her insults, instead chuckling good naturedly. "I know."
Pulling a blonde strand out of her face and behind her ear, the younger girl sent him a sideways glance as she watched his fingers working rapidly over the controller, his fingernails a dark purple.
They were distracting.
"Doesn't your guardian think its odd that you hang out with teenaged boys?" Todd wanted to know, shooting up a couple of zombies that'd ambushed them.
"Marcus just wants me to have normal friends I suppose...and since I don't seem to get along with normal people he's learnt to accept the fact that I hang out with pure losers." Her lips curved in a smirk as her avatar sliced off the head of a zombie that'd come up behind him while he was busy firing at an advancing horde. "And anyway, Dave and Marty are getting pussy from those two...and Marcus thinks you might be gay...so he's not worried about my virginity being compromised."
Todd choked on saliva, his voice going squeaky as he turned to her, forgetting about the game. "He thinks I'm gay?"
Her gaze went to his fingernails, snorting.
He noticed, pouting. "Straight guys paint their nails! Rockers do it all the time. And anyway, these are an expression of my pure, dedicated love to Hit-Girl."
Her green gaze returned to the screen immediately, breaking the neck of a zombie and kicking at it's limp body repeatedly. "Weirdo."
"You just can't understand the depth and sincerity of my emotions because you're a kid." He replied, pouting as he returned his dark gaze on the screen in time to save himself from another attack.
"And yet I'm the same age of Hit-Girl." She shot back, refusing to lift her gaze from the massacre she was inflicting on the undead. "Pervert."
"That's why I'm waiting for her to grow up!" Todd defended passionately, his avatar protecting hers from an attack she hadn't seen coming. "Until she's of age my love is pure, like freshly fallen snow!"
"Can you be anymore of a lame-ass?" She mumbled, and yet her avatar protected his, kicking him out of the way of an attack and destroying the zombie that'd been coming after him. "And anyway, you'll probably never even get to meet this chick. It's stupid to be in love with someone you haven't ever met and probably never will."
He was silent, just playing.
It annoyed her that he wasn't answering, and she sent him a sideways glance.
He couldn't be so much of a softie that that had insulted him, could he?
Not that she would have cared if he was, of course.
And yet, as they continued to play in utter silence, she found her attention split between him and the screen.
"Buy me some ice cream." She ordered, folding her arms over her chest and eyeing him expectantly, an eyebrow raised.
"What flavor?" He asked, reaching into his wallet and staring at the different flavors.
By god, he was a damn pushover!
He always did whatever she told him to!
It was annoying!
"Cookie dough." She watched Todd as he went up to the man selling the ice cream at the amusement fair and ordered two ice creams.
Today Todd's purple was his shirt, which was promoting some obscure band she'd never heard about. His hair was forever in those messy, uncombed curls which fell in his face and nearly hid his dark eyes. Dude needed a cut, he was starting to remind her of that dog from the Little Mermaid...and the realization that she was beginning to draw associations with Disney made her cringe in horror. Damn Marcus and his "Disney Weekend"...in which they stayed home and watched all the sorts of cartoons and movies that made her want to tear her hair out and gauge out her own eyes...but she'd watched every single one, and pretended to like them, because it made Marcus happy. And Marcus was truly trying to give her a "childhood" and make it a "happy, normal" one.
Hopefully she'd survive it and not fucking kill herself the next time she heard a music number start and the damn annoying main characters start singing about their problems or their "love" for people they really didn't know.
And, well, that led her back to Todd, didn't it?
He was a Disney prince if there ever was one.
It was fucking annoying.
"Here you go." Todd returned, handing her her ice cream as he began to lick his own, hand shucked in his pants pocket.
Katie and Dave had disappeared to go "check out the haunted house" (which was obvious code for "fuck each other's eyeballs out in a semi-private location") and Erica had dragged Marty towards the roller coaster, the chubby boy paling and reciting the death toll of roller coasters. So once again, unsurprisingly, she was stuck with Todd. This was becoming more and more of a routine it would seem. The other four would "couple up" and since she and Todd were the odd ducks out they were abandoned to entertain each other while the other two did whatever they did when they were alone.
"What'd you get?" She was surprised to realize she was genuinely interested in knowing.
"Cherry vanilla." He responded, offering her some. "Want a lick?"
"I hate vanilla." The blonde announced with a glare, before leaning forwards and giving it a try anyway, leaning back and analyzing the taste.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "So?"
"I don't hate it." She shrugged as they began walking down the different booths, enjoying her ice cream and eyeing the different prizes in the booths, wondering which one she wanted enough to actually play.
Todd was silent, lost in his own world as he just licked his ice cream.
Her green gaze kept going to him and she didn't notice how much her ice cream was melting until a bit of it slid down her hand and she was forced to lick it, annoyed that she was so distracted. Big Daddy would have scolded her for that. Being alert was the difference between being alive or not.
A couple of girls passed and giggled, saying amongst themselves how cute it was to see a boy actually spend time with his kid sister.
Todd didn't seem to notice, licking his ice cream and watching some kid failing at a ring toss.
She noticed though, and it boiled her blood to be seen as his "kid" sister.
She wasn't a kid!
She could kill those bitches in two seconds flat!
Sadly she wasn't in costume though, so she reigned back her murderous intentions and just merely flipped the group off, causing them to gasp in utter shock.
Pleasure filled her at their outrage, her lips curving in a smirk as she turned to Todd and grabbed his sleeve, dragging him after her as she walked far away from those bitches. "Win something for me."
It was an order.
"What? You want a stuffed bear or something?" He stumbled at first before finding his footing and falling into pace with her.
He chuckled. "Then what exactly do you want? Because unless you haven't been paying attention, most of these prizes are stuffed animals."
Dammit, he was right.
"If you get me a stuffed animal I'll cut you." She promised, finally deciding that there was enough distance between them and those girls, letting go of his sleeve.
"You're a difficult little girl," Todd chuckled as he finished his ice cream, gazing at the prizes before his eyes widened. "What about some goldfish?"
A blonde eyebrow raised as she finished her own treat. "Marcus has said something about me getting a pet."
"Perfect!" Todd grinned, turning his dark gaze on her. "I have an extra aquarium at home I can give you, and I can give you some food until you go get your own...along with the decorations."
Already this sounded like too much commitment for her. "I don't know."
"Oh come on, it'll be fun!" His definition of fun and hers were totally different apparently. "I'll even take you to the pet store so you can get everything." He puffed out his chest, looking utterly ridiculous. "My massive amount of knowledge on fishes will be of use to you."
She snorted, rolling her eyes. "You're such a dork."
He continued to smile at her, chest puffed out.
"Alright! Alright! Just stop puffing your chest out like that! You look retarded!" She looked around to make sure no one saw her associating herself with this doofus, before turning towards him.
"Come on," Todd chuckled, flinging an arm around her shoulder and nodding towards the booth with the fishes. "Let's go get you a pet."
She contemplated removing the arm around her because she did not like to be touched...
...but the dude would need his hand to win her those fishes, so she let him keep it.
It was a good thing too, because thirty five dollars later (he really sucked at ring toss) she was the proud owner of two goldfish.
"So, what are you going to name them?" Todd asked as they sat on a bench and looked at the two fishes.
"One and Two?" They didn't have much of a personality, did they? They just...floated.
"Seriously? You can't do that!" He acted as if she'd committed some really terrible crime. "You have to give them some really kick ass name!"
"Like what?" She challenged him to come up with something better than her suggestion.
"I don't know...Aquaman and-?"
"Are you fucking high?" She laughed, unable to believe what she was hearing.
"Okay, what about Flotsam and Jetsam?" He asked.
"Aren't those the names of the eels from The Little Mermaid?" Her voice squeaked in horror. "Are you a little girl?"
"Oh come on! They were electric eels! Electric eel minions! That's hardcore!" He defended good-naturedly.
"If they'd actually electrocuted that annoying flounder and crab they might have been somewhat hardcore." She sniffed, making a face at the fish. "But you will never electrocute any of my enemies either, so I guess the names fit."
He smiled, leaning against the bench. "Flotsam and Jetsam Macready."
"Oh, no, they're gonna only have a first name. Like entertainers... Eminem. Madonna. Jesus."
"Jesus had a last name." Todd countered.
"No he didn't." She argued.
"Yeah he did!" Todd raised an eyebrow. "Christ."
"That was another name for him, not his last name you idiot."
"Then why do people say Jesus H. Christ?" He snickered.
Green eyes rolled. "I'm not going to even dignify this argument with a response."
"Because I so totally won it." He taunted.
"You did not!" She gasped in horror.
"You did not!" Standing before he could continue, she passed the plastic bag with Flotsam and Jetsom to him. "Carry them for me."
Of course he did as told.
"We're going to the haunted house now." She informed him, motioning with her head for him to begin following as she started off towards it.
"I so won that argument." He chuckled behind her.
She rolled her eyes.
"I am not getting them a fucking castle." She stood staring at the different underwater structures, hands at her hips. "If I don't have one they sure as hell can't."
"Don't be mean." Todd stood by her side, towering over her, picking up one of the castles. "Look, this one's haunted and has a little ghost painted on this window."
"Cheesy." She grumbled but reached for another copy of the castle he was gazing at, eyeing the ghost in question. "At least it's not one of those bed-sheet ghosts."
"I know right? I might get this one myself. Fred needs a new home." Todd was fully into the haunted castle before suddenly his eyes caught something and widened. "No fucking way." He put back the haunted house and was gone.
"Where are you going?" She frowned, putting the castle away and following him before stopping, making a face. "Oh hell."
Someone had made a Crime Fighting Central with Kick Ass, Hit-Girl, and Red Mist standing in heroic poses in front of it.
"This is so fucking awesome!" Todd gushed as he gazed at it in near reverence. "A mini Hit-Girl!"
She sneered as she folded her arms over her chest.
Todd could be so fucking pathetic sometimes.
And anyway, they were here to get things for the fishes he had gotten her...not so he could fawn over Hit-Girl.
"I am so getting this!" Todd chuckled, holding the thing as if it were a precious treasure. "Although I should probably ask if they have one with just Hit-Girl on it."
With that he went and left her.
Mouth falling open in shock at having been completely forgotten, she sent a glare towards the figurine of herself before storming out of the pet store without telling him anything.
It wasn't as if he was going to notice she was gone or anything.
Not when he had Hit-Girl.
"That was a real shitty thing you did to Todd you know." Kick-Ass, or in other words Dave, scolded her as they patrolled the streets in the dark of night. "He nearly had a heart attack, calling everyone to know if they'd heard from you and he was about to call the police! I had to lie and say you'd asked me to pick you up and that you were with me."
It gave her a little shrill of pleasure to know he'd been so worried.
That's what he got.
"I'm serious, Hit-Girl." Kick-Ass always called her that when she was in costume. "You shouldn't have treated him like that. Todd's a nice guy and will let you walk all over him and that's why I got to step in and remind you that he has feelings, just like everyone else."
She didn't know why she listened whenever Kick-Ass scolded her.
She didn't know why she listened at all, considering it was only Dave.
But she did.
She always did.
Maybe it was because while she had Marcus, Dave was the only one who she felt she really had.
Dave knew about both sides of her, accepted both sides of her...he was the only one who could understand what it was like to be two people.
"You don't have to throw such a bitch fit about it." She grumbled, hating that her body language alone betrayed to him that she was properly scolded. "And I didn't think he'd even notice I was gone. He was too busy cumming all over the mini Hit-Girl."
Kick-Ass was silent as he watched her, before stopping and turning towards her. "Apologize to him tomorrow, okay?"
"Fine." She rolled her eyes, nodding.
He smiled, all sunshine and rainbows once more.
Sometimes she really hated that about him.
She'd planned on apologizing to Todd the next day.
Really, she had.
But then she'd come up behind him and seen him showing off his new Hit-Girl keychain which sputtered out "You cunts!" when it was squeezed...
...and she'd turned and walked away.
As she avoided Todd and the group for the next couple of days, and even avoided Kick-Ass the next couple of nights (knowing he'd want to scold her some more) she realized something that really bothered her.
She couldn't figure out why exactly Todd's infatuation with Hit-Girl pissed her off.
"Is something the matter, Mindy?" Marcus finally asked. "You haven't been spending much time with Dave and the others, and I'm getting a little worried."
She looked up from the cereal she hadn't been eating, making a face as she stared into his eyes. "Marcus, I have a question to ask you and it's going to be blunt."
"Okay." He nodded, sitting up straighter. "Shoot."
"Why do you hate Hit-Girl?"
He paused for a moment before speaking. "Honey, it's not that I hate her." He reached out and placed his hand on hers. "I hate that she had to be created, I hate that your childhood was put on the backburner so she could do things that you never should have."
She took in a deep breath. "I'm never going to be Mindy Macready you know. I'm Hit-Girl. I stopped being Mindy a long time ago and I don't know how to become her again."
He sighed and tightened his hold on her. "You can make Mindy whoever you want her to be."
She lowered her gaze.
"Honey, I need you to know that whatever you choose to do with your life I'm going to love and support you no matter what." His tone, his gaze, were sincere. "But I just want you to have the choice. I want you to have a chance at a normal life. At going to school, having homework, crushes. Honey, I want you to have a childhood and to grow up. I want you to be able to be happy...whether as Mindy...or as Hit-Girl...or as someone else."
She looked up at him, telling herself not to cry. "Thanks."
Marcus leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Now go with your friends to get your fish some decorations. They look pathetic in that tank with nothing but water."
So here the found themselves once again in Todd's room with Dave and Katie making out on the bed, and Marty and Erica making use of the beaniebag.
She and Todd sat on the floor in front of the screen, their avatars killing zombies.
She'd mumbled a "sorry" when she'd arrived in his bedroom half an hour ago and he'd accepted it with a smile so deep his dimples were ridiculous. He'd ushered her to the game console and here they were half an hour later, having said nothing else since then but the awkwardness she'd feared was absent. She also was thanking her stars that Todd wasn't all emotional and shit like Dave and hadn't expected a hug or anything. That would have been awkward as hell.
"I still need to buy shit for Flotsam and Jetsam." She didn't know why she broke the silence, keeping her gaze on the screen.
"Want me to take you again tomorrow?" He asked casually, fingers working rapidly over his control. "I gotta go back to get that mini Hit-Girl thing anyway. Hopefully it's still there. That sort of shit sells quickly."
She jerked her gaze towards him, eyes wide. "You didn't get it the other day when you were there?"
"You joking?" He snorted. "I forgot all about it and was looking for your ass the rest of the day!"
In the background she could hear her avatar being massacred by the zombies but she found she didn't care, just shocked senseless at this revelation, and not knowing why it mattered so much to her that he'd left Hit-Girl to look for Mindy.
"The hell?" He yelped, fighting off the remaining zombies on his own. "You just got yourself killed! What's up with that?"
"Shut up." She cleared her throat and turned to face the screen once more. "You distracted me."
"Fine." He grumbled, letting his avatar get eaten.
Her eyes widened impossibly large as she turned to face him once more. "Why'd you do that?"
"What?" He made a face. "It's no fun playing alone." He ran lean fingers through messy blonde curls. "I like it better when I know you have my back."
Her heart was racing.
Why was it racing?
She was sitting down for fucks sake!
"Now don't let yourself get killed again." He announced, eyes on the screen as he went back to their last saved level. "We're almost to the last Boss and I hear he's a real motherfucker. It's gonna be fucking awesome."
Her heart wasn't slowing down.
She couldn't understand why she couldn't look away from him...
...and why her cheeks were heating up.
"Ready?" Todd asked, curser hovering over the "start" button.
She looked him over, not sure why all of a sudden she was searching for the purple...frustration welling up deep inside of her when she was unable to find it.
Where was it?
Where was the purple?
"What?" Todd frowned as he finally noticed her intense stare, giving his head a little shake so his curls wouldn't fall into his eyes.
"Where's your purple?" She found herself asking.
His eyes widened as he looked away. "You can't see my purple today."
She couldn't help the teasing smile that curled her lips. "Are you wearing purple boxers?"
He blushed darkly, looking away from her with a pout. "Are you ready or what?"
Narrowing her eyes, she was surprised to realize that somehow it seemed wrong for Todd not to have something purple, and before she even knew what she was doing she undid the purple clip in her hair and reached forwards, using it to pin up his curls and keep them from falling into his face. "There. Now we can face the Boss without you making us lose because you can't fucking see him."
"Hey!" He chuckled, reaching up to pat the plastic clip. "You are the one who got eaten, remember that."
She smiled up at him.
He froze, looking down at her in shock.
"What?" Her smile slipped as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Nothing." He turned his gaze towards the screen. "It's just that it's the first time I've actually seen a genuine smile from you and not a sneer or a smirk or something like that."
"Whatever." That heat in her cheeks returned as she too returned her attention to the screen, picking up her controller. "Enough talking. I'm ready. You ready?"
"I was born ready." He replied.
She chuckled at that, shaking her head. "Let's kick some ass."