Guideline To Living With The Avengers

Not sure if this kind of already exist in the Avengers section, but I was kind of bored and lately I've been having lots of weird ideas that were just begging to be wrote down... Inspired by all those guidelines you can find in the Movie Transformers section :D

Please note that english isn't my best language and therefor there will be some mistakes...

There may contain some spoilers!

The whole rule sets are written from my OC Jackie Walkers point of view.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker

Rule #1

Don't call Loki 'King of the bugs' just because his helm reminds you of a cockroach

(He gave me a murderous glare)

(The thought 'If looks could kill' came across my mind)

(The next day I found cockroaches in my breakfast plate)


Rule #2

Stop asking Tony whether he's an Autobot or a Decepticon

(Seriously, he's not even a Transformer!)

(Though Tony doesn't even know what Transformers were… )

(I then proceed to force him to watch all the three movies)


Rule #3

Don't purposely provoke Bruce

(Except you have a death wish)

(I hadn't had one at that time)

(Almost made him hulk out)

(But I managed to sedate him at the right time)

(Now I'm not allowed to be near him anymore)

(What, I just wanted to see how easily provoked he can be!)


Rule #4

Everyone else except Thor, stop calling Agent Coulson 'Son of Coul'

(It was funny at the beginning)

(But then it got old and boring)

(Coulson still doesn't get the joke)

(And I still calls him that every chance I get)


Rule #5

Stop asking Natasha Romanoff if she's still seeing Spider-Man

(Just because her code name is Black Widow)

(Doesn't mean she's automatically seeing Spider-Man)

(She doesn't even know who Spider-man is…)


Rule #6

Never say to Clint the following sentences:

"When was the last time you had your eyes checked?"

"You sure you don't need glasses?"

"You should eat more carrots; they are good for the eyes"

"Don't worry about having bad eye sights. I mean, you're getting older day by day, so it's just naturally that your eyes are getting worse too"

"You know, I'm pretty sure that Fury wearing an eye cap is entirely your fault. Had some problems with the aim that time?"

(The next few days I was used as target practice for his training)


Rule #7

Don't randomly say you want to join Lokis army

(They will interrogate you)

(And watch every move you make)

(And if anything Loki related happened, you'll be the first suspect)

(Pfft, as if Loki would let me join his army…)


Rule #8

No office chair racing

(I convinced Tony and Thor to join me)

(We hold our race in Starks Tower)

(Thor wheeled so fast he couldn't stop at the right time and crashed out of the window)

(From the highest floor)

(Lucky enough he's a god and there for can't die easily)

(He 'just' broke his nose)

(Loki gave me major thumbs up)


Rule #9

Don't try to teach Thor how to use chopsticks

(Seriously, don't)

(You'll get a headache from it)

(He still doesn't know how to eat with them)

(At the end he Thor flipped the table with the food over)

(What a waste of good food)


Rule #10

No magnets allowed when Tony is in his Iron Man armor!

(I was carrying lots of magnets in my jeans pocket)

(And suddenly I was glued to Iron Man)

(No matter what we did, I couldn't get off)

(He had a date with Pepper later)

("Oh, well, guess, I'll just tag along")

(He didn't spoke to me for a week)

(Don't ask me why I was carrying magnets that day)

so, yeah, the first ten rules...

Ideas are always welcome!

thanks for reading!