A/N: Hey so I decided since there was a lot of mistakes in the first chapter and a lot of unsaid things that I would revise it, so hopefully this is just somewhat better than the last.
Elena's Diary Entry
Moments ago everything bad that could happen, happened. Let me break it down for you. For starters Klaus died, meaning that there is a 50/50% chance that all my friends could die and I would have lost everyone I have ever loved.
Then Matt drugged me so that I would fall asleep and he could get me out of town, that's when Klaus died. As soon as the words flew out of his mouth I demanded that we go home so that I can be there to make sure that everyone is okay. Including Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Tyler, and comfort Bonnie for her mom. But then the worst possible news came next… Damon was 100 miles out of town so I had to make the choice that I have regretted to make from day one. I had to decide whether to go home to Stefan or keep driving to Damon. I-I decided to go home, but I convinced myself I did it for Bonnie, Caroline, and Tyler. Finally, I had to do the worst thing possible… tell Damon I chose Stefan.
While on the phone with HIM I felt like I was cutting my heart out, but I got it out, barley. So here is where the worse gets a betting to and shows that it can get even worse. I was just about to call Caroline and Bonnie, after hanging up with Stefan to tell him I'm coming home, when my phone was about to die, so I asked Matt if I could use his. Just then Rebekah was in the middle of the road. I screamed, "Matt! Watch out!" then he swerved off the same bridge that has already taken my mom & dad's life and right then I thought it was going to take mine. After everything that has happened I started to believe that it was time for me to go. I've hurt this town and my family too much already, it was time. I knew I was a lost cause, but first I have to get Matt out of here he deserves a 'normal' life.
After waking up for the second time Stefan finally came to help just like when I went over last time and he saved my life. He insisted on getting me out, but eventually he took Matt up to the surface. That's when I died.
Hours later I woke up gasping for air wondering, "How in the world am I alive?" After being filled in by Stefan and Damon I understood that I died with vampire blood in my system… meaning… I am in transition and I have 24hrs to make up my mind. Either die or become a vampire… I knew from the first time I was put in this situation that I didn't want to become one. I had to find out if Damon, Stefan, and Caroline would be okay then I'll make my choice because if they die, I die, if they live, I-I-I'll have to turn. After 2hrs have pasted and everyone seemed to be fine I told myself I'd go through with the transition. I knew that this was going to be the worst decision of my life because my mom & dad would have never aloud this to happen. At least I have all my friends to help me get through it together… forever… literally.
Love, Elena G.
Elena's POV (still in transition)
After we left the hospital we all knew it was best if I stayed away from people just to make sure that I don't get tempted any more than I was when we were in the hospital, so we went straight to the Salvatore house. Once we got there I told Stefan and Damon that I need some time to be alone and think and fortunately they understood. I decided to hide out in Stefan's room to just try to clear my head. As I'm lying in his bed, my mind finely caching up, when all of a sudden memories I have never seen came rushing back to me. I must have fallen asleep. The first one to take picture was a few days after the masquerade ball.
Flash Back (2x08)
As I came out of the bathroom, after checking my arm, I remember walking out then somehow my necklace was around my neck. What really happened was I came out not noticing anything I guess and heard, "Cute PJ's." from across the room. I recognized the voice. Damon. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to him after everything so I made up an excuse. "I'm tired, Damon." Then he stood up and came closer to me and held up my necklace.
"Brought you this." He said.
"I thought it was gone?" I was so shocked that he found it for me I was glad to have it back. He shook his head no. "Thank you" I said, but as I reached for the necklace he took it back. That's when I got worried. "Please give it back." I demanded.
"I just have to say something," he stepped closer.
"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" now I was nervier than ever before.
"Because what I'm about to say is, probably the most selfish thing I've said in my life."
"Damon don't go there."
"No-I just have to say it once," he stepped closer while a took another step back, "you just have to hear it… I love you, Elena… And it's because I love you… I can't be selfish with you. And why you can't know this? I don't deserve you, but my brother does."
Then I thought he was going in for a kiss, but instead he kissed my forehead. I tried to say something, but words escaped my mind.
He continued, "I wish you didn't have to forget this… but you do." That's when my memory was caught up and he was gone. I quietly touched my necklace with no memory of getting it back.
I woke up with a jolt looking around for Damon, but no one was around. I laid my head back down and fell back asleep. There were other memories that came back too, all about him confessing that he loves me and me still so unsure how I feel about him. But the most important memory that came back was the night of the bon fire and the car wreck over Wickery Bridge where my mom & dad died. Why would I remember anything about that night? Damon had compelled me.
I was on the phone with Bonnie talking about my whole thing with Matt and how I needed to end it with him and realizing she and my mom were right I told I would call her later, I hung up. Now I remember that but everything after I have never seen before. Then all of a sudden a man comes up to me.
"Katherine." He said. He must have gotten me confused.
"Um…" I looked behind me to make sure he was talking me. When no one was behind me I figured yes he must be talking to me there's no one else out here. "No." I looked behind me one more time just to make sure. "I'm Elena."
"Oh. You- you just look… I'm sorry," he came closer, "you just really remind me of some one. I'm Damon." He introduced himself.
"Not to be rude or anything Damon, but that's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere"
"You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself."
"It's Mystic Falls, nothing bad happens here." He looked at me like I've gone crazy so I decide to make small talk. I held up my phone, "I got into a fight with my boyfriend."
"Bout what? May I ask?"
"Life, future, he's got it all mapped out."
"And you don't want it?"
"I don't know what I want."
"Now that's not true. You want what everybody wants."
"What," I asked acting like he had all the answers, "mysterious stranger with all the answers?" he laughs at my small joke the turns his attention back to me.
"Well, let's just say I've been around a long time, I've learned a few things."
"So, Damon, tell me. What is it that I want?" I asked getting tired of this game.
He comes closer to me each word, "You want a love that consumes you, you want passion and adventure and even a little danger." That's when the rest of the memory didn't matter anymore. I remembered the conversation I had with Matt, the kiss we shared at the motel, and the road trips. It was always HIM.
As soon as I woke up from my memory dream I realized I made the wrong choice of Stefan. I have loved Damon first. Just Stefan came rushing in and asked if we could talk. "Of course." I told him even though I need to go talk to Damon.
"I love you, Elena I need you to remember that after I tell you this. Damon told me about everything that he made you forget. He my say that he doesn't deserve you and that I do, but if he has you… you'll be in control of your thirst. So, tell me that you love me so I know that your feelings haven't changed for me after seeing all of that."
At that moment I knew I needed to tell him but I just couldn't bring myself to it, so I said what I could that was still part of it but not all, "I don't think I can do that."
"Elena, what are you trying to say, that you don't love me, after remembering all of that?"
"Stefan, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you later tonight, but I made the wrong choice. I love him Stefan. I can remember the time we met, the real first time. The day of the car wreck… when my mom and dad came to pick me up. Turns out that Damon was in town the same time you were, but you already know that now. And I'm already well aware of the deal that you and Damon made when I make my choice, but you don't have to leave, but if you do… you can leave knowing that I'll be safe and that I will for now on be in control of myself. Ok?"
He sighs and looks into my eyes, "Goodbye Elena." He kisses my forehead one least time and speeds out of my room.
I heard Damon behind me listening from the hallway. "You were listening, weren't you?" I whispered.
"I try not to." He said as he suddenly is behind me grabbing me behind the waist.
"It's going to be a lot harder to scare me now, Damon." I told him turning to face him.
"I'll find away." he smirked. Then he used his vampire speed to grab me as I walked away. Startled I slapped his shoulder.
"Told you." He muttered against my neck. "We need to talk, Elena."
"About?" I questioned pulling away.
He tightened his grip on me, "There are still some threats to you."
"How, Rick and Klaus are… dead, so how are there any more threats?" I asked wondering what could go wrong now. I did this so everything would stop.
"Well, because Klaus isn't dead. Nope Witchy knew that if he died that then everyone she loved would die too and so, now he's in Tyler's body. So, after the news starts to spread he may just want to seek some revenge for making you into a vampire." He said sounding frustrated with me.
"What is he going to do hurt me?" I said also getting frustrated at him
"YES!" he was upset now if he wasn't before.
"Then let him! And plus if you're so hell bound on my protection then why didn't you stop Stefan from leaving? "I was finally tired of the conversation as well. I had to just back up and sit down on the bed.
Has she gone crazy or something?
"You know I can't let him do that, Elena." I said, completely trying to avoid her question. I personally she has lost it I mean yes I know she's going through a lot, but I just won her from my brother and I can't lose her again.
After focusing in for a moment I sat by her on the bed. Then she started to explain herself, of course tearing up.
"Why not Damon? My life, I'm not even alive any more, how is that right? I was supposed to grow old, go to college, get married, start a family, have a normal life, and I can't even do that now, so what else do I have Damon?" now she was in tears. I tried to comfort her in my arms the best I could do.
"I'm so sorry Elena, I didn't mean for any of this to happen to you. I'm sorry, but I can't lose you. I love you too much to let you go. I promised that I would never leave you again and I plan to keep that promise." I lean her off my chest so I could see her sobbing, angelic face, "I can't let you go. I just got you. Let me figure this whole thing out and if we have to we will run away-"before I could finish my thought she interrupted me.
"No! I'm not going to run, Damon, not like Rose and Katherine did for all of their life. No I'm not going to run I'd rather die that run!" I could barely make out the words slurring out of her mouth. I was hurt more than ever because she rather die than be on the run with me for eternity.
"Wait, that's not what I meant. I-"
"No, no I get it Elena. You still have no clue what you're doing. I get it. Ok? I get it." Then right before I left she muttered something it was so soft even I could barely hear it, but as soon as I heard it I knew I couldn't leave… not now.
A/N: so I just want to thanks everyone like always and if you could review and say what could be done better next time and if this makes any more since that last please tell me
Oh and by the way after a good kick in the butt from an amazing friend I am currently working on chapter two so hopefully I can publish it in a few weeks preferably before the 23rd so finger crossed. And yes, you'll finally find out what in the world Elena said to stop Damon from leaving even though I think most of you already know. Great thanks to Friends4ever55 wouldn't be h