It was one of this morning when Ennis just lay there in his bed and look at his ceiling. Almost a year, that Jack has died, and yet the feeling is still unbearable for him. He remembered one of this moment that he shared with him, when they both stood naked at the top of the cliff, in front of them the river. Unsure, at the beginning, they finally jumped off. Both feeling the wind wrap them and playing with their hair. Suddenly, they entered in the cool water, giving both a shiver. Jack smiled at him, not the usual shy smile, the true warn and loving smile that Ennis couldn't resist. How these miss him! Just the memories make him want to cry. Not wanting for that, he gets up quickly and manage to the kitchen. There, he opens the refrigerator seeing nothing. At least, nothing that worth to eat. He decides to pick up the water bottle, and then he proceeds to grab a glass in the small compartment.
"Damm!" he thought at the sight of the piece of glass in his floor. He lets out an angry sigh and then manages to pick up the entire big piece to throw them in the trash. One stay in his hand, he just stares at it, like hypnotized . This little piece, enough sharp to hurt, could give him death, the freedom from this pain that consumes him inside. This little piece could give him the opportunity to rejoin his lover.
He could have taken his life, just few, deep, cuts will be enough. People won't notice his absent. He had nothing anymore to cling for anyways. All could be easier after that. At this instant, he hears the phone rang that snap him to the reality. He shakes his head, lets out a small sigh and throws it in the trash. Ennis hurries to the phone and picks up.
"Hello, Ennis?" a woman voice says across the phone
"Yes, Alma what do you want?" he answers
"Where are you? It's been a while you should be here" Alma replied a little stress and relief at the same time.
"Ugh? ….. SHIT I almost forgot, I arrive as soon as possible, okay?" Ennis says
"You're irreproachable, just hurry! If you miss this event I can swear she never talks to you anymore" Alma says
"Okay, I'm preparing. " Ennis finish and hangs up.
Ennis headed to the bathroom, taking off his clothes quickly and entering in the shower. He lets the drops roll down his body as the hot water seems to relax him. He thinks about this time when he would allow himself to embrace Jack and cuddle on the floor. It was just him and Jack, this connection between them was so strong and at the time so heavy to carry. "Jack "he whispers, he winces at the pain of the memories, "why did they do this to you, to me, to us?" he adds "As life wasn't as difficult enough" He stays there looking at the floor when he finally turn off the shower and go out to dress him properly.
In his room, just one towel around his waist, he grabs his suit. He glances at Jack's shirt; he allows himself a quick nose. After all this time, its still smell like him: fresh and savage. Sometimes, he wonders how life would be if he just accept to move with Jack at his father's ranch. It would be rough but, at least, they would be together. Still thinking about this, he finishes dressing and goes to pick up his car's key. If he drives just a little above the limits he could be on time.
On the road, the radio plays some country music that Ennis hummed all along the ride. At the end, he reaches the little chapel of the town. He couldn't forget this place, it was at this place that he gets married and also divorced. How ironical! Now he was here to another person who means a lot to him, who deserves his best attention. "Sorry Jack" he thinks "its not yet the right time meanwhile wait for me". He climbs off the car and climbs the few steps to grab the huge wood door.
After all, his daughter gets married today !