Title: Doctor's Orders
Author: Dalethechu-IantojJackh
Beta: classics_lover (the original prompt came from her, so she got the honor this time)
Rating: R
Pairing: Jack/Ianto and the whole team
Spoilers: Only my story Secrets. This is the follow up to it.
Summary: How does the team react to Ianto being Joani Stone?
Warning: language and suggestive themes
Notes: I've had this mostly finished for a while now and decided to finish it up. Hope you enjoy.


Doctor's Orders

Owen snickered every time he saw Ianto.

Tosh blushed and could not look at Ianto in the eye when they spoke.

Gwen instead watched Jack and the sultry way he watched Ianto whenever he was near. It had been tolerable before, but since they found out Ianto was Joani Stone it was worse than ever. Jack was like a starving animal and Ianto was his prey, waiting for just the right moment to pounce and ravage him.

Ianto tried to blame Jack for the others finding out about the book, but Gwen reminded him that he was one who took the book from Jack and hit him with it. Jack made sure to play up the bump on his head for extra sympathy which Ianto claimed was a ploy to get felt up at work. The angry author made sure to point out on numerous occasions that if the book had been kept in Jack's office as he had been told to none of this would have happened.

It was the third day when Gwen finally snapped. "Why don't the two of you take a few days off and shag your brains out. I keep getting turned on watching you two," she covered her mouth and looked at Owen to make sure that did not come out of his mouth. The line was classic Owen even if it came from Gwen's mouth.

"Yeah, I agree. It's like watching porn without the sex with you two. You are fogging up the glass around here." Owen finally chimed in.

Tosh looked timidly up from her screens, "The rift has been quiet for a while now. If anything big comes up we can let you know." It was always uncomfortable for her when the rest of the team openly talked about sex. The same used to go for Ianto but the longer he was with Jack, the less it bothered him. It looked like now wasn't one of those times as the Welshman was bright red, probably because the three of them had just offered him and Jack a few days off for the sole purpose of sex.

"You too, Tosh?" Ianto covered his face to hide his embarrassment. His look to his friend said thanks for nothing. "We haven't been that bad, have we?" One lover looked to his other for confirmation.

Jack shrugged. "I haven't noticed. This isn't some plot for you to try to take over again?"

Gwen shook her head. "It's really not. Ianto's been cranky."

"And messing up the coffee. When has tea-boy ever messed that up?" Owen added.

Gwen, Owen and Tosh all exchanged a knowing look as they wordlessly battled who was going to speak up.

"Oi, you two are such babies," Owen sighed heavily, rolling his eyes at the women. "It's your bloody pheromones, Harkness. They are making us all horny as fuck. I suggested a team orgy to help build team spirit, but they shot me down," the medic ignored the dirty looks from Gwen and Tosh. "That leaves us one option; you take your boyfriend home, maybe wine and dine him a bit. Then put on soft music to set the mood and then you make like rabbits do and don't call for several days. I'm saying this as a friend and medical officer. For the rest of our sanity, please take Ianto home and shag him until you have a control of your pheromones. I can write you a prescription if that's what it takes."

"Is this what you all think?" Jack groaned and looked between the would-be mutineers and watched as they all nodded. He crossed his arms over his chest as if offended. "I can see where we are not wanted. Let's go home," Jack stood behind Ianto and tried to rub his very stiff shoulders.

Ianto was ready to wrap his hands around Owen's neck and choke all the snark out of him. His three so-called friends were given icy glares as the annoyed self-appointed coffee czar of Torchwood threatened to withhold caffeine from them for two months for their betrayal.

The threat was met with a round of groans to which Ianto smirked, shrugged and made a hasty sprint for the doors with Jack behind him.

"You are all on clean up duty. Gwen, you clean the cells. Owen, you've got Myfanwy's nest. She's been bringing in all kinds of dead animals lately. Tosh, the weapons locker needs care and weapons polished." Jack ordered.

The three groaned and started to protest, but they were quickly shot down. "If you want Ianto and myself to take a few days off, someone has to do his work while we are gone. If you'd rather us stay here..." Jack grinned, but the looks on everyone's face said it all. "Behave while we are gone. Don't blow up the place."


"That did not just happen," Ianto hid his face in his hands as he crashed into the desk at the visitor's centre. "I'm never going to live this down." Embarrassment etched on his red face.

"Ianto." Jack shook his head and rubbed the stressed man's shoulders. "They've gotten used to this kind of stuff from us. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" Ianto was enraged now. That was clearly the wrong thing to say. "How can you say that?"

"My hotness," Jack leaned forward, circling his arms around Ianto's shoulders and place a kiss on the top of his head, pausing to nuzzle his cheek against his hair. "How many years have we been together now?"

"Almost five years."

"That's right and if they don't know how we can get after all that time..." Jack stopped and his grin widened when he saw the resigned grin on his lover's face.

"But this is the first time they've sent us home for sex." Ianto realized he was being a little too uptight about this and relaxed in Jack's embrace. "You couldn't wait until we got home?" Jack's arousal pressed into Ianto's firm backside.

"We are under doctor's orders to do nothing but shag for the next few days." Jack said playfully. Those were one set of orders he'd gladly follow without any complaints.

"Those was not his exact words. I think there was something about wining and dining in there too." Ianto said in a deadpan serious tone.

"Seriously?" There was a small frown on the Captain's face, not sure if the younger man was joking or not.

"I don't just give it up for any strange man. Plus, there was this one part where I wrote about..." Ianto turned to look into his boyfriend's eyes with a devilish look.

"Oh!" Jack's eyes grew wide with anticipation. "The wine thing. Wicked naughty sexy man I love."

"Doctor's orders after all. Who am I do argue with those orders?" Ianto rubbed himself against Jack in a very suggestive way that almost made him lose control. "You have some wining and dining to do, Harkness." the seductive Welshman snapped Jack's braces before heading to his car.