Note: I just finished watching Generation 3, and though it took a while for me to get used to the new cast, I eventually fell in love with them for two reasons: Malo and Grace's death. Mini and Alo were adorable, and I just liked the fact that series 6 actually showed the effects of Grace's death on the other characters, because the other generations ended too soon to do the same. So, basically, this one-shot is a combination of those two things... a narration of the birth of Mini and Alo's baby through Mini's eyes, but as if she's talking to Grace. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!
"When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."
-J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
It hurts, Gracie. It hurts because there's a fucking human shooting out of me, but that's the least of it. It hurts because Liv is here but you're not. I know that Alo should be enough, especially now that he's what I'll have for the rest of my life, and usually he is, but not today. Today, I need everyone. Today, I need you.
They rush me to the hospital from Alex's house, because of course Farmboy snuck me out of the hospital to go to the party. It wasn't his fault, though; he wanted to take me home after an hour, but I got him drunk enough to let me stay. I feel my first contraction while I'm sitting on the bathroom floor with Liv, and it's odd because we're both thinking that if you were still here, you'd be there with us.
I ride in the ambulance again, and it hasn't been that long since I rode to the hospital with Alo all the way from the farm, or since Franky took me when I collapsed outside the house. Being with Alo in the back of the ambulance is better than it was with Franky, though, because it's more right this way. Sometimes, I regret not running away with her when I had the chance, but then I see Alo and I realize that I couldn't do this without him. I understand why Franky thinks she needs me, why she even thinks she needs the baby, but it's not about her now. It's about me and it's about Alo, and we need each other.
The ride lasts way too long, even if it is shorter than the one from the Creevey farm. I'm screaming the whole way, and I must be fucking loud, because Farmboy looks like he's about to pass out every time he tries to kiss me and I yell in his ear. I'm not sure how to describe the pain, but for a while I think it's similar to being hungry. I know that feeling so well, and it's a lot like that, just worse. I have no energy but I still have to stay awake because there's something growling at me, this constant reminder that I can't let go of myself no matter how hard I try. I am responsible for so much more than just myself, and the pain is some sort of precursor - a warning for all the hardships that are on their way.
But I'm okay with that. As we roll into the delivery room, I see my mum there and her eyes say all that she can't - that it's not too late, that I can still give her up. I see the same idea in Alo's eyes, his bright blue starting to match the fire in his hair, but his fear is much smaller than my mother's. It only takes one glance from me to tell him that no, we're not giving her up; we're going through with this. He understands, because I know he wants her just as much as I do, and then it's happening.
Liv arrives just in time, and now Rich is here too. He's smiling, Gracie, really smiling. I don't think he's been so happy since Morocco, and seeing his smile is like finally seeing you again, because you were his happiness. And no matter how much time passes or how much Rich moves on, I think somehow you'll always be his happiness. That's what makes me understand that the reason he's so happy now is because he knows that this baby will be mine and Alo's happiness, and that his friends will feel the same kind of love that he felt with you. Now, he'll finally have people to share it with again.
Before we go into the delivery room, Rich tries to shake Alo's hand, but I grab it back. Then the door closes and it's just me and Farmboy and Liv and my mum and that twat of a doctor who's always running late. He seems bothered by the fact that the baby's early, but all Alo has to do is stand up straight to get him to shut up, because of course Alo is a foot taller than the doctor.
I have one hand in Alo's and the other in Liv's, and I wonder what part of me would be in yours, if you still had a hand to give. It lasts forever, and I think of you, because I know you would have been strong enough to do this, because you were the strongest of us all. I think about how open you were to everyone you met, because I wouldn't be with Alo if you hadn't let him in. I think about your stories, because they all have happy endings and I think this might be mine.
Alo cuts the cord and is the first to hold her, and I'm okay with it. I thought I'd want to snatch her away, but I like the look of her in his arms, because I'm sure they comfort her just as they always comfort me. He looks at her and I know that his heart has just grown, and mine does the same when he hands her over. She's tiny, but of course she already has a few threads of her father's hair. I think her eyes are mine, though, and for some reason, I'm convinced that her smile is yours.
We name the baby Violet. It was Alo's idea, and it makes me wish that I had listened to him all those months when we were hiding our relationship, because everything he says is exactly what I want to hear... what I need to hear. Everybody comes into our room to see her, and Alo and I watch them hold her while we sit in bed and hold each other.
Liv cries, and it makes Alo and me cry, because that girl never breaks down. Nick makes faces and watches Violet's reactions, while Matty just stares like he always does. Franky comes later with an older woman in tow, and seeing Violet seems to mean more to the both of them than any of us could ever know. Rich is in the room the whole time, but he's the last to hold her. We wait to announce her name until she's in his arms, and I can't describe what it means to see his tears of joy after so many tears of grief.
She's so beautiful, Gracie, your niece. I wish more than anything in the world that you could meet her, but I know that you were never supposed to. Violet will never be able to replace you, Grace, but I think she's here to help fill the void that your death left us all. This year has been the hardest year of my life, of all of our lives, because it was the first year we had to spend without you. It's only fitting that the year end with a new person to spend our lives with.
After a while, everybody else goes home for the night, and then it's just me and Farmboy and our little Farmgirl. I feed her for the first time and then she falls asleep against one of Alo's sweaters that I say I hate but secretly love. He closes his eyes around the same time, and I take out my phone once they're both asleep.
I dial your number like I've been doing for months, and I leave this message on your answering machine. I get to this part and that's when I say goodbye, because I won't be calling you anymore. The last thing I tell you is to not worry about me. Wherever you are, you can stop missing me now. I'm not going to be alone, and that's all I've ever wanted. And then I thank you, you little bitch, for teaching me and my Peter Pan how to grow up. Thank you for showing us that it's okay to be a child even if you're about to be a parent. Most of all, thank you for sending us this beautiful little girl, all the way from Neverland.
Note: What did you think? I know this was a little random for me, but I just couldn't get the finale out of my head, so I had to write something for it. Please let me know what you thought in a review! Thanks again.