Wait, what?

He stares as she laughs, leaning forward and letting their arms brush. What is she doing? He grimaces as he feels his arm hairs rise.

Wait, what?

Is she trying to hug him? Again, what is she doing?

"...because you're my boyfriend, and I love you."

'Are you serious?' is what he's about to ask, until Laney breaks in and they realize what's happened.

They're on the air.

Her hand is sweaty. Or maybe it's his, he can't really tell.

It just catches him off guard, the fact that Victoria Jagger is actually capable of sweating. It's kind of something humans do.


They're at the game, and they're sharing a drink. He can barely stand waiting the few seconds it takes for the people to leave. It feels like hours. He drops the cup and immediately begins retching in the garbage can.

Way too close to Miss Jagger for him.

The couple's cam alarm goes off, the lights spinning wildly. They run around the table, hiding beneath it. His heart is racing, adrenaline pumping in that way it does when you're six and playing Hide-and-Seek. Victoria crouches down next to him, breathing heavily.

She wore high heels. To a game. How ridiculous can she get?

This is why Erictoria isn't real - it just wouldn't work.

...plus, he can't stand her. Right?

And now here they are with the stupid heart-shaped light shining on them and the reporter shoving the microphone in their faces, and do they really have to kiss?

[The adrenaline is way past kid's games now. It's more like skydiving, and he's kind of terrified.]

No. 'Cause it just isn't worth it. So it ends. And yeah, he's relieved.

And now Teddy, Victoria's personal stalker, is back and Eric's scared that they'll be going back to square one. Erictoria, round two. He can hardly contain his excitement. (coughsarcasmcough)

And she protests that she's the one that broke up with him. Oh, no. If this is becoming public, he was the initiator here. He is not going to be heartbroken over Victoria Jagger. No.

"Please, you were going to kiss me!" is his argument.

"What! No, you were going to kiss me! I saw you close your eyes, that clearly means you wanted to kiss me!"

She's lying honestly. Yes, he closed his eyes. He really didn't want to be looking at her face if it was actually going to happen. But he hadn't moved an inch. She was the one that leaned in.

The completely honest truth? Neither of them even care anymore. Right? Because it meant absolutely nothing.

It's been two weeks and one day since Erictoria and he's at home looking at his 'I HEART VICTORIA' shirt and smiling.

It was really the weirdest experience in his life (and he's spent a lot of his life with Charlie) and...if he's honest...he really wouldn't mind going through it again.

Wait, what?

Again, what is she doing to him?

What happens when I watch the only What's Up Warthogs episode I like while in a writing mood. LOL, oh gosh.