AN: Another day, another dollar, another character and perspective I've never tried before. It's fun, even if I can't get too deep into his head. The song itself was one I first heard from the 1994 version of Little Rascals. That one was by Rosanne Cash, and is my favorite, but I've never been able to find it anywhere. Of the ones in my library, I prefer Linda Ronstadt's.
WARNING: This boy's got a mouth on him when he's desperate. You should be able to figure out who it is and who he's addressing pretty easily.
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans; just a creative potty-mouth that's significantly worse than what you see here.
Love Has No Pride- Linda Ronstadt
I had another bad dream last night.
It's funny; everyone says nightmares start to go away as you get older, that they start to lose their power. They don't have any bearing on the real world, so there's no need to wake up sweating and shivering and clutching at your pillow like it's the only thing keeping you alive. That's what they say.
Well, I've had bad dreams too many times to think that they don't mean much anymore.
Last night, it was about you.
You were with the Titans, of course. Dreams tend to reflect reality, and that's been a pretty harsh reality for us. Nothing new there.
This time, though, one of Bird Brain's little grappling hooks got buried in See-More's throat, and there was nothing I could do for him. I watched him bleeding out and trying to scream and the blood was all over my hands because I'm the leader because you're not here anymore.
And I looked up, and there you were, standing over us.
I begged you to help him. The words got lost; that's how dreams are. But I knew you knew what I was saying. And you just stood there.
You weren't laughing maniacally or anything like that. That would have made it okay, because then it would have obviously been a dream. I could have dealt with that.
No, you had this look of disdain and indifference, like I was some fucking Jehovah's Witness at the door asking you to come to Jesus or something.
Not asking you to save the life of someone who used to be your family.
We all know you're too goddamn good for us now. That's what made it so real, and it scared me shitless.
Heh. There I am, back to old habits. I remember telling you my Mom didn't do piss for me as a parent, but I guess that's not quite true. That cracked-out bitch gave me a vocabulary. Not that it makes up for her drug use stunting my growth, but hey. You take what you can.
Remember when I first busted out the Big No-No C Word in front of you? You grabbed me by the ears and picked me up, no powers or anything... and then you told me that swearing was unprofessional and that I was going to have to start making substitutions if I wanted to stay on the team.
And thus was born Gizmo's Gigantic Compendium of Magical Not-Quite-Swearwords. Of all of them, I'm proudest of cludge. Just sounds dirty, doesn't it? Wonder if you ever sorted out which word was which...
Oh well, doesn't mean shit anymore. You're gone, and I don't have to watch my mouth now.
And it's not like you died or something. It's way fucking worse. Know why? Because I'm watching the girl who was our family disappear a little more every time I see you, and in her place is just another Titan. Because of course they always win.
No wonder you were only too happy to leave us for them.
I'm so fucking tired, Pinkie. I can't do this. You were never supposed to leave us, I was never supposed to be the leader, and the team was never supposed to be living in the maintenance tunnels of the sewers, slowly starving to death because we can't steal enough to survive.
If we can't turn this around within the next month, I'm gonna cut loose whoever wants out, and the rest of us are gonna kill one civilian each so that we all get life without parole. And then we'll stay there. At least in prison we'll have food and shelter.
I know it'd be so much different if you were still here, but since that's not an option, I guess I'm just glad you never check in on us.
I'd hate for you to see what we've become without you.
And you know what scares me the most? I don't even know if it would bother you anymore.