Thank you everyone who has read this story and reviewed it, this is probably the second last chapter, if all goes to plan, so enjoy
Watching Matt's eyes narrow and his voice loud and yelling at Mandy, Kerry wonders what happened between them, hearing Mandy's last sentence her eyes widening as a gasp comes out, her eyes darting around the room, no idea where to look.
Hearing a gasp from Kerry, Matt looks at her shocked face, the secret he wanted to keep from her for the time being, not the time or place for her to find out, looking at Sean next to her, his eyes wide as he looks at Kerry, turning to face Mandy "why would I believe that it is mine, prove it I want a paternity test". Standing there looking at Matt, the humiliation of it all, she shouldn't of come here, she thought Matt would believe her "I'm not lying Matt you're the father" moving closer to her his voice cold "your word means nothing to me"
Watching Kerry walk out of the base, Sean glances at Matt before following her, seeing her straight away. Hearing a noise behind her, Kerry turns around a slight smile on her face as she sees Sean did she hear right, Mandy and Matt what is she doing up here. Looking at Kerry trying to keep up her strong tough exterior he needs to let her know, reaching out and touching her arm "Its not what you think Kerry" seeing Kerry say nothing, he continues "Mandy and Matt went out one night, and ended up sleeping together" looking at Sean her eyes looking straight ahead "that part I got" giving Kerry a smile even hearing that she still held herself together "Matt and Mandy went out one night, and Matt got extremely drunk and slept with Mandy, he found out that his drink was spiked by Mandy". Looking at Sean she mustn't of heard him right, her mouth slightly open "Your joking" shaking his head "he wasn't feeling well so got a blood test, he confronted Amanda and basically said either leave or he would take it further and have her fired". Biting her lip looking at Sean she didn't expect him to tell her this "you and Mandy" finishing her sentence "we broke up" nodding at Matt taking it all in "You and Matt" looking up at Kerry the pain still there talking about it "We're ok now, but I was angry and hurt at first, I also didn't believe Matt at first, but realised he was telling the truth". Glancing at Matt she knew Mandy had a crush on him but that was it but now here she is pregnant.
Hearing footsteps coming out at base, she looks up seeing Mandy walking out wiping the tears from her face, despite what happened she feels for her, she was part of her team for a while, calling out "Mandy wait", seeing her look up at her, surprise partly on her face, before the glare comes back "going to rub it in too, you're not the only one to sleep with Matt, I'm the one carrying his child" moving her tongue around her lips before speaking her voice soft " I didn't drug him Mandy, did you really think that was the way to get him to sleep with you" closing her eyes briefly before looking back at Kerry trusting her to know, her eyes upon her concern there, in a way she could see what Matt saw in her, she was attractive especially when she smiled "what would you know, you just waltz up here into the squad, pregnant too and Matt just falls in love with you, and you then just dumped him and then he just goes running back to you" looking at Mandy seeing a confused girl there, despite everything and Mandy's hostility towards her, she can't stand by and do nothing, reaching out and touching her she sees tears in her eyes, walking away from the base "I never asked Matt to fall in love with me or expect it" then shrugging "it just happened, you need to give him time and space".
Looking at Kerry "why are you being so nice and wanting to help me when I was a bitch to you" sitting on a chair near by "everyone needs someone to look out for them." Then looking straight ahead "I was young and pregnant once the father was around, but I had no help" then giving a small smile "also just recently I was pregnant and alone" looking up at Kerry seeing the caring in her eyes her voice soft and sad "I don't want to be pregnant and alone" looking at Mandy "why did you do it?" looking down fiddling with her hands her voice soft "I dunno, I was jealous of you, you came and from the beginning I saw how he looked at you, and liked you, you were his boss, I had liked Matt for ages, then you came and I could see he liked you a lot, I had wanted him for so long and wanted him to like me, he went out with you, you started going out with him and I wanted that" raising her eyes slightly at Mandy "by having sex with him" nodding biting her lips trying to remain strong "I know now how stupid it was but I thought if he had sex once just that once maybe just maybe he'd want to go out with me" reaching out and touching Mandy's arm, despite everything she felt for Mandy, Matt might be her boyfriend the man she is in love with, but here was Mandy and vulnerable "are you sure the baby's Matt" looking at Kerry a slight hardness coming over her face, she thought she was understanding and not judging her nodding "I'm not lying" looking at Mandy seeing her trying to put up a protective barrier again, facing her "I'm not suggesting that Mandy, you were going out with Sean, before all of this happened, how do you know the baby isn't his" giving a short laugh at Kerry's comment "Unless it's a miracle contraception" seeing Kerry's eyes raise "Sean and I hadn't had sex in months we hadn't had the best relationship for a while it had been rocky for a few months" giving a small half smile to Mandy "Maybe Sean knew about you liking Matt" seeing Mandy shrug she didn't care about that anymore "Matt and Sean are good friends Mandy" looking at Kerry in the eyes in a way she was glad Sean and her were over "Sean would of got over it, it wasn't like he was in love with me, I had the looks that he wanted and had guys envying him for" getting up off the seat looking at Mandy "I can't promise anything but I will talk to Matt" standing up looking at Kerry grateful that she stopped and talked to her, despite not liking her at first, here she was caring what happened to her looking at her, she could tell what Matt saw in her, she was attractive but there was a lot more to her, that she never saw or wanted to see, all she did see was someone Matt wanted and she had hated that.
Walking out of the building looking around, Matt wonders where Kerry is, he needs to talk to her, he didn't want her to find out about her and Mandy not this way he wanted her to know it wasn't what it seemed or sounded like. Looking ahead he sees Kerry talking to someone, walking closer his eyes narrow "what are you still doing here?" looking at Matt seeing his gaze resting on Mandy, reaching out and touching his arm seeing the anger and hatred in his eyes reaching for his hand "Matt, it s fine, just leave it" looking at Mandy he doubt he could ever forgive her for what she did "I won't leave it". Looking at Matt and Kerry how she wished it was her, there not Kerry but she knows it wouldn't happen not now not ever "Its ok, I'll go" then turning to face Kerry "Thanks Kerry, I really mean it" smiling at Mandy releasing Matt's hand "just take care of yourself and the baby" watching Mandy look at Kerry then him "I don't know what game you're playing at now, but I'd never leave Kerry for you, she is in my life her, I love her, what you did is" interrupting Matt "Your lucky to have her Matt don't let her go or stuff it up this time" before turning to walk away.
Seeing Kerry looking at him shaking her head "I know what she did to you Matt, and it would hurt and you have a right to be angry, but she is sorry you have to try to let it go" looking at Kerry in disbelief "Its that easy it is" shaking her head "I didn't say it would be easy you can't keep dwelling on it, Mandy is pregnant with your baby?" starting to walk away "I don't care that she is pregnant or anything about her … I don't want anything to do with either of them" wanting to yell at him as she watches him walk away "I'll see you after your shift"
Walking inside his apartment a short time later, wanting to make it up to Kerry not many would be so understanding, trying to help Mandy and being there for him too, looking around, hearing the shower running, a huge smile on his face, walking into the bathroom, opening the shower door hearing Kerry's voice "what are you doing
home" her questions answered with his lips.
Walking along the wharf two nights later, feeling Matt's arms around her waist, looking out over the blue water, having to go back to Melbourne the following night, only made better by the fact Matt would be joining her in a few weeks. Sitting on a chair overlooking the harbour nestled against him "You need to talk to Mandy Matt" feeling Matt tense up as she looks up at him "I don't have anything to say to her, not now not ever" looking into his eyes, seeing the pain and hurt there "She's pregnant Matt to you". Looking at Kerry, he didn't want to talk about Mandy despite what Kerry said, deep down he had thought about the fact the baby was his, but what she did he could never forgive "I don't want anything to do with either of them…. I don't want to talk about it Kerry" feeling Kerry's hand reaching up stroking his face her touch so gentle he couldn't explain to her how he felt, he couldn't tell anyone what he felt once he found out what Mandy did like she had raped him. Looking up at him there was more going on than what Mandy did, looking out over the harbour her voice soft "I got pregnant to Lawson from a drunken one night stand, we both had too much to drink" biting her lip as she continues "I never told Lawson I was pregnant because he was engaged at the time then married someone who was in my squad and I was his boss, so I went through the birth and the first few months by myself" looking up at Matt seeing him looking at her, her tongue moving around her lips "My son James sent a letter I wrote but never sent to Lawson and he found out" giving a short laugh a small smile on her lips "he was furious to say the least with me, but we worked through it all the rest is history. I didn't want him to ever find out, then as it was pointed out so often to me, I was denying him of knowing his daughter".
Reaching for Kerry's hand moving his hands on her waist, he knew part of it but not most of it, partly surprised "I take it his wife didn't take to the fact Lawson was a father to someone else well then" smiling at Matt the memories of Shannon still fresh in her mind "she is only just forgiving me now, it wasn't handled too well, people make mistakes Matt we're only human after all, just give it time" looking up at Matt, feeling his hands moving around her stomach as she feels his lips upon hers.
Walking along the jetty at St Kilda two weeks later pushing Emily in the pram, looking around what is she doing here why didn't Lawson want to meet at her house despite breaking up it hadn't been too bad at work between them it wouldn't be long until Matt was coming to Melbourne a few more weeks, she knew she had to tell him she just didn't know how.
Sitting at the end of the jetty he wonders if Kerry would come, despite the past few weeks and what he said to her, one thing was clear in his mind and he needed to talk to her. Looking up he sees her walking towards her, damm why did she have to look so beautiful the smile on her face lights up her whole face her hair up in a ponytail pulled off her face, handing her the package of fish and chips.
Looking out over the bay she wonders what is going on, why Lawson wanted to meet her here, turning to look at him "Why did you want to see me Lawson"
Looking at her "Kerry I'm still in love with you, I want to give us another chance" seeing her eyes widen in surprise and her eyebrows go up "I know what I said but I want you, I want you in my life"
Looking at Lawson she didn't expect this she thought he was over her that he had moved on, moving her tongue around her mouth her mouth slightly open she had wondered what was going on lately and if he was having second thoughts "I have feelings for your Lawson there is no doubt about that. It is kind of love but It is just not your kind of love. I know how you feel about me, I'm sorry I just don't have that feeling" looking at Kerry he didn't know what to expect from her, leaning closer to her "how do you know… I'm sorry I pushed you away I thought I was doing the right thing I wasn't Kerry, don't you want to give us another chance?" looking at Lawson biting her lip she didn't expect all of this she had moved on and thought Lawson had also "No ….. I don't' want to hurt you but I know I will never have that special feeling for you, you were right in what you said Lawson, we have a special friendship/relationship we have tried having a relationship a few times, it didn't work out" looking up at him she would love to be with him but he deserved more and deep down she was sure both of them knew it would never work out "I think your wonderful you know that, but if we keep this up getting together breaking up, I'm just ruining your chances of happiness with someone else". Looking at Kerry sitting on the chair, with Emily in her arms leaning her head on Emily's head "I have happiness with you, we're good together"
Wishing Lawson wasn't making it so hard for her, "I know and I loved being with you Lawson but it wasn't enough. We will always have Emily"
Looking at Kerry, had she been up to Darwin, he knew she had some time off a few weeks ago had she taken his advice "Is there someone else?" not looking at Lawson but out over the bay can she tell him, she knew she should of told him after she came back from Darwin, looking up at him "I'm back together with Matt, he is coming to Melbourne in a few weeks. …. You don't know how hard this is, I wish there was some other way Lawson" looking out across the bay avoiding Kerry's gaze upon him, despite everything he did love her and want to be with her "You mean you wish you could love me the way I love you is that is". Shaking her head at Lawson, she can't continue this conversation anymore getting up off the seat, putting Emily in the pram, seeing Lawson looking at her for some reason she does feel guilty over this, hating that feeling in her watching Lawson her eyes meeting his feeling Lawson's lips upon hers briefly before pulling away "Don't …. You deserve someone who will really love you….. that's not me" wanting to pull Kerry towards him, he can't watch her walk away feeling like a teenager but he doesn't want to lose her not now not ever "How do you know what I deserve I deserve you" turning around not even looking at Lawson her eyes meet Leon seeing shock in them "shit" before hurrying off the jetty.