Their conversation drifted over stupid topics for about an hour, covering everything from most liked and hated food and classes, to places they'd love to visit if given the chance.
Cas was starting to drift off as Dean was telling him about a time him and Sam spent Christmas together in a dingy motel, and one year John found a wreath made out of beer cans and shit. Cas didn't want to fall asleep but he couldn't help it.
"Hey, dude c'mon. Don't fall asleep on me! It's barely after 2."
Dean shook Cas' leg to wake him up from his half-asleep state. Cas shook his head and opened his eyes wide, forcing himself to stay awake. It was harder than he'd thought it should be.
"I'm not sleeping. I'm…dozing." His voice was rough and full of exhaustion, but he sat up and rubbed his eyes awake nonetheless.
"Ok. How about this, um, you pick next topic of conversation. Something you wanna talk about."
Dean was sounding like a teenage girl trying desperately to get her crush to talk to her, but he couldn't bring himself to care as much as he normally would. He loved talking to Cas, even if it was about stupid things like which teachers they thought hated each other. He just liked talking to him. With Cas he never had to pretend to be 'the' Dean Winchester. He didn't have to keep playing bad boy, or the smartass, or anything. He could just be Dean. He could let his geekier side slip out. He could tell stupid jokes that only Cas would laugh at. He could laugh like he meant it and not get looks. He liked it, loved it even. And he liked Cas because of it.
"I don't know, Dean. You know I'm usually just one to listen to others talk."
"Okay but now I want you to tell me a story. How many things have I told you about me tonight, huh? Give me something here."
Cas just looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
Cas sighed. Dean had him. That asshole coupled his please with a wide smile and raised eyebrows. Dean knew he looked adorable and he played it.
"Ugh fine. What do you want me to talk about then?"
Dean thought for a moment, realizing e didn't really know a lot about Cas personally. This was going to be fun.
"Start with your weird name. Where in the hell did your parents pull 'Castiel' from? I mean the rest of you family, aside from Balthazar, have normal names. What happened with yours?"
Dean had been wondering on this since the first time he met him, but never thought it would be good to ask. But they were close enough now that Dean didn't have to worry about wording.
"I'm actually a little surprised it took you this long to ask me that." Cas mused, smirking slightly.
Dean just shrugged and looked expectantly at his friend.
"Okay you know how my family is pretty religious. Well not Balthazar or Gabe, but the rest of them: Anna, Michael, Raphael…- Well it comes from that. It's an angel name." He said, bowing his head in a slight embarrassment. He really hated explaining his name. Humans, especially teenagers he was around, didn't understand the whole thing. Why the hell would your parents name you after an angel anyways? But Dean didn't laugh or anything. But when Cas looked up, he did have a grin from ear to ear on his face.
"No nothing. It's just-you're named after an angel. I've, I've never heard that before." Dean was fighting hard not to let out a small laugh. The thought of it was kind of funny, to be perfectly honest.
"Go on. Let it out."
Dean didn't hold back. He laughed. Cas could feel his cheeks heat up and he leaned his head down again, fidgeting with the draw strings on his pants.
"I'm sorry for laughing but of all the explanations I would have thought of that was never one of them. It's just-wow."
Cas started to laugh a bit too, just a bit. Despite the strangeness of it in this century, he liked his name.
Dean calmed down and started to breath like normal person again.
"Okay so, what about your brothers, then? Why aren't they angels?"
Cas looked at Dean a little skeptically.
"Dean, do you honestly not know that much about religion. Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael ARE all angel names. Mine just happens to be a little stranger."
Dean looked a little taken aback at first before it set in.
"So…your parents decided to have a tribe of angelic babies running around? Why angels though? Why not other names in the Bible or something?"
He was genuinely intrigued now. Cas never spoke about his family, unless it was complaining about his two oldest brothers.
"I don't know, Dean. I never asked them why we weren't Joseph or Simon or something. I think it had to do with my mom, more though. She liked angels. I remember she had a bunch of little statues and figurines of them everywhere. She said they made her feel protected. Despite how me and Gabriel turned out, the rest of them are pretty big on the whole God thing."
Inwardly Cas scoffed at his stupid explanation. It'd have been much easier to say "I'm an angel of the Lord. I fell to earth because I didn't listen and now me, and Gabriel and Balthazar and Anna are stuck here. Michael and Raphael are just watching to make sure we don't disobey again. By the way, yes, angels exist."
He'd much rather do that than talk about his human mother. Cas had truly loved her. AS an angel he never had a mother, but watching the earth he'd wanted to know that love. Then he half-fell, and got one, and she was taken away.
Cas had never told Dean about his mother before. All Dean knew was that her name was Rebecca, and that she'd died of some sort of heart failure, and that he'd found out from Gabriel. Dean almost felt sorry he'd asked the question. He knew the feeling a little too well.
Cas looked up at him, and Dean's face was soft, understanding.
"She sounds like mine, your mom. She sounds a little like mine. With the religion and angels thing."
Cas smiled a little. Dean very rarely spoke of his mother. Only on very few occasions where he'd called Cas because he was drunk and wanted someone to talk to because everyone else was passed out in the basement. That was only about 2 times. The other times Dean was passed out with them.
"Can I go to sleep now? I gave you a story."
"No. I gave you way more than one story."
Cas sighed and rolled his head back, his neck cracking slightly. He looked down at Dean, who was now laying on his pillow, leaning on his arm and facing Cas.
"Okay. So, I've told you about my dad, some stories of me and Sam when we were kids, and two stories about me getting brought home by the cops. You owe me a good story."
Cas slumped his shoulders. He really wasn't getting out of this tonight.
"I don't have anything good. I never do anything."
"You used to hang out with the Hellbitches of Lawrence High, Cas. I know you have something good. Don't go skipping details, either."
"I hate you."
"Yeah, yeah I know. I'm a horrible person. Now let's go Cupid."
Cas rolled his eyes as he tried to think of something.
"I started hanging around them when I hit high school. Gabriel and Balthazar both told me to watch out for them but I really didn't care. I thought 'I'm not an idiot. I won't let them take me too far.' Of course that worked out well. I was a freshmen, or fresh-meat, as Ruby used to call me, so I guess you could say they dug their hooks in pretty deep right away…"
Cas went on to tell Dean more or less his entire first year of high school, and how, when he went off with them and got hurt, he'd missed enough school to almost fail the tenth grade last year.
"That why you had English and phys ed with Sam last year, right? You failed them?"
Cas nodded. "Yeah, but I passed everything else so I technically did pass grade 10. Then last year, I was hanging out with you guys so I did good then, passed everything with good marks and all. So I'm gonna end up graduating with you this year, 'without' failing a grade."
"I can't believe you went as much as I did and still passed. What the hell is this?"
"You just didn't go. I went for the tests and exam, dumbass."
"Whatever. Least we can graduate together, right."
Cas smiled and nodded. "Yeah."
Both were silent for a few minutes. Cas contemplating his stupid feelings for Dean, and Dean digesting the relatively long and detailed filled story Cas had just given him. And also his stupid feelings, but he tried not to think of that.
"What are you gonna do next?"
Cas looked down at Dean in the mattress next to him, now laying on his front, face smushed into the pillow.
"Next. You know, after you graduate in June. What are you gonna do?"
I don't know yet really. I mean I'm gonna apply to universities and colleges but I don't know what I wanna be. You?"
"I got the garage. I might take a year in community college and take some automotive stuff, and a business course. But I don't really want more schooling, y'know. But you should go to a good school. You could make it big if you tried. You're pretty smart."
Cas didn't know how to take the comment. Dean rarely compliment somebody so outwardly, even Cas.
"You are too Dean. You ju-"
"If you say I just have to apply myself so help me God, I will get up and punch you in the forehead!"
Cas raised his hands in a mock sort of surrender, chuckling slightly.
"Okay fine. I was gonna say you just need to find something you love more than your car, and go with that…. But applying yourself works too, I guess."
Dean didn't pull through on his threat, but he did pull his pillow out from under him and smash Castiel with it, throwing the smaller boy forward onto his mattress from the force.
"Ow! Shit that actually hurt! How the hell can you manage to hurt someone with a friggin' pillow?"
Dean just smirked proudly and stuffed the pillow back under his head.
"I'm strong, and despite your surprisingly more fit self, you're still smaller than me."
Cas raised an eyebrow at that.
"Yeah I see you sitting over there with your fucking sort of muscled self. Don't let the chicks at the school see that or you will end up having to bring one of them home." Dean teased.
It was Cas' turn to put on show of strength. He pulled out his pillow from behind him and raised it. Dean heard the rustle and braced himself, expecting a hit on his back. He let out small cry when the pillow came down on his head.
"Ahh, mother f-". That was it.
Dean sat up, rubbing the side of his face. Cas relaxed, looking for a moment concerned. Dean had another idea. He, in a quick move that came from his training with his dad, had knocked the pillow out of his friend's hand, and moved his smaller frame back enough that Dean was able to hold his hands against the wall. It wasn't rough, but just a friendly bit of horse-play. Yeah, that's exactly what Dean was thinking right now.
Cas smirked. Dean had his legs all wrong. Cas moved his leg around Dean's, his other leg sitting between Dean's. Castiel flipped them, with some difficulty, so that he has the one holding Dean down.
Dean huffed as he hit the mattress, thoroughly shocked Cas was able to flip them like that. But he wasn't going like that. He and Sam fought like this enough that Dean knew practically every trick smaller bodies pulled.
"So it's gonna be like that is it?"
He used Cas's weight against him, putting him off balance and rolling over on top of him, holding his arms behind his back, Cas' wrists small enough to fit in one of Dean's hands. The other around Cas' head and neck, making sure he didn't try to get smart. With a brother like Gabe, Dean had to assume Cas had been through this before.
Dean didn't account for Cas' flexibility. The younger boy managed to squirm his wrists enough that he could get a flat hand on the bed. Balancing what he could in the position on his hands, Cas pushed off the wall with his legs, throwing both him and Dean backwards, Dean's grip lost and Cas free to move out of the way.
Sure he was a Hunter but Cas didn't count on Dean being as quick as he was. That and Cas was trying not to give in and laugh. Dean had his wrists against the wall again, this time making sure Cas wouldn't be able to flip them with his stupid leg trick. Caught up in the moment, Dean lost all control he'd had. The gap was closed. Dean had lost it totally.
Their lips met and Dean didn't even register, only leaned into it. His eyes were half-closed, top lip caught between both of Cas'. They were slightly chapped but still soft somehow.
Cas breathed in at the impact. His eyes stayed open in surprise for a moment before closing. He leaned in slightly, Dean's lips soft against his own. Dean still had his wrists in his hands.
Dean moved his hands, along with Cas' arms down the wall a bit.
He moved away. Cas followed forward at first before backing his head to the wall. Dean never noticed the movement. He stared at Cas, lost for words, a look of both sheer bliss and full on terror on Dean's face, flooding into his eyes.
Cas' face was calm, like it always was, but his eyes were still wide, not with shock this time but utter wonder. Dean quickly released Cas' wrists and sat back, no longer feeling right leaning over the younger boy as he was.
Cas brought his arms in, crossed his legs and rested them in his lap, against hands fidgeting with the strings on his pants.
Dean bit on his bottom lip, having no idea what to say, or really what just happened. He looked scared almost, like a child who couldn't see his parents in the store. He wanted to speak but his voice was caught, his throat dry. Cas broke the silence.
"No, don't…forget it, Cas. I didn't...I don't. I never meant to, I just- it was a mistake. I'm sorry I shouldn't have. Just forget it. I'm sorry."
Dean looked up from staring at the design on his pants. Cas was staring at him. His face was soft, and all Dean wanted to do was take that damn face in his hands and kiss him again. But instead he scooted over to his own mattress and put his face in his pillow, face turned away from Cas.
"Night, Cas." Dean managed to whisper, before the flutter of nerves jumped from the pit of his stomach into his throat.
"I didn't mind." He whispered more to himself than to Dean, but Dean still heard him, glad the blanket was covering his face so Cas couldn't see the smile, nor the slight blush.
Cas sat staring at the wall, left to contemplate what the hell just happened. Dean just kissed him. Dean Winchester just kissed him. His friend, his best friend, just kissed him. Cas' head was swimming. How many months now had he been swallowing feelings for Dean? And then this happens!
The both fell asleep relatively fast, Cas facing Dean and Dean facing way from Cas.
John was kicking Dean awake, almost literally, at around 8:30 in the morning for his shift in the garage. Cas shifted under the covers and shoved his face under his pillow, not having any of the light streaming in from the window above them. His back was exposed but he was too tired to care. Fucking Dean had him awake and talking until 2:30 at least, probably closer to 3:00 though.
"Sorry, Castiel. Didn't mean to wake you."
Cas just raised a thumbs up and dropped his arm again. He didn't really want to lift his head up to talk to John to tell him it was fine, so he figured that would have to suffice.
"Dean, move it. There's already a car waiting for you. Third door. Move it!" John kicked Dean's mattress and Dean groaned in protest but sat up nonetheless. John wouldn't stop so long as Dean was still lying down.
Dean waited until John was back upstairs before actually standing. He stretched and Cas could hear his back crack with the movements. Cas thought for sure Dean would say something, even a 'morning Cas' would have been nice, but he didn't. He got dressed and went upstairs. Castiel could hear him talk to Sam, not about anything in particular, just regular conversation, and Cas' heart sank with it.
Stupid human emotions.
Cas pulled the blanket over his shoulders and curled up under them, sleep hitting him again. It was close to 10AM before he woke up again. Deciding that was enough he reached for his phone to call Michael before he had a bitchflip on him again.
1 New Message.
"Please don't be Michael." Cas begged before he opened his voicemail to check it.
It was from Dean.
"Hey Cas. Before you ask why I'm calling instead of coming inside, let me just tell you that when I said I was sorry for….last night, I didn't mean it like that. And the mistake part. I heard what you said after I laid down, and, when you get this come out to the garage. Please. Okay that's it, I guess."
The beep ending the message sounded and Cas just closed his phone and sat there for a bit, brain still registering what Dean's message was saying. 'didn't mean it like that'? Well then how the hell did he mean it? It was a mistake, I'm sorry is pretty straightforward.
Cas didn't know why he was getting angry thinking about it. Dean's message was somewhat of an apology, at least that's how Cas was taking it. He owes it to Dean to go out and talk to him, right?
A/N: See! Updated within reasonable time period as promised! Review! Review! Review! Thanks to those who have followed and favourited this, mea, and /or my other fics. It really means a lot guys! Keep and eye out for Chapter 9.