Authors Note: Oh my gosh... What have I written...? I don't even know. ANYWAY! My first serious-ish Spamano on here, whoot! About time I wrote a fanfiction for my OTP! :U
Anyway, I should probably state... I don't own Hetalia, blah blah blah, rated T for Lovi's language, and NO, there is no smut! :P Don't let the title fool you!
Don't forget to leave a review of what you think, let me know if you find any mistakes, and I'm sorry if it's a bit OOC! And also, I speak Australian English, which is basically British English, so there may be some words spelt differently if you live in America. So yeah.
When I was younger, I rarely ever used to take a bath by myself. I always had to have it with that stupid moron Spagna. No, he didn't force me, and no, there was nothing sexual in it damn it! It was because... Well... Because I was afraid of water, alright? If he didn't have a damn bath with me, I wouldn't have had one at all!
Anyway... As I grew up, my baths with Spain became less frequent, until I had to have a bath on my own... Because, as the bastard pointed out way too fucking frequently, I was "growing up and getting to old to have a bath with boss~!" So, I had to get over my stupid fucking fear and man up to bathe on my own!
Somehow, for years, I actually managed to do just that. I bathed on my own, as quickly as possible, and stopped begging the bastard to have a bath with me! I wasn't a kid anymore, I didn't need Spain to protect me!
... I wish I could have said that over a hundred years later, when I was no longer that bastard's colony, completely grown up, and visiting him. I had been visiting him frequently at the time, because damn Veneziano was always spending time with that potato eating jerk Germany, and so I'd been left alone... a lot.
I was staying the night, this particular night, and Spain had gone to take a bath before he would go to bed. Unfortunately, I was going to sleep in the damn guest room, which meant I was supposed to go take a bath in the guest bathroom attached to it.
... What? I'm not allowed to find that fucking unfortunate? Damn it, do you know how nice Spain is to sleep with? His arms, holding me against his body... his face buried in my hair as he whispers a sweet "buenas noches"... I like it, alright? And no, that doesn't mean I love him damn it! Why would I love that tomato jerk...? Ahah...ha...ha...
Anyway, I was supposed to be taking a bath, but damn it, I just couldn't do it. No matter how many times I tried to dip my foot in the water, I just ended up squeaking and pulling it back. It was pathetic of me, to say the least.
Of course, my very first thought was to go ask Spain if I could take a bath with him. I mean, I could clearly hear the bastard singing some stupid song in Spanish, and I knew from experience he loved to sing in the bath. B-But that was a stupid idea, so I gave up on it instantly! ... Well, if freezing up after finding myself wrapped in a towel, standing outside of Spain's bathroom counts as giving up instantly.
Shivering slightly from the cold, I pondered what I should do. On one hand, I could just go hide in my bed and forget about taking a bath, but that was dirty and I wanted to be clean! So... what the fuck was I meant to do? I couldn't get in my bath alone, it was fucking terrifying! Yet, how the fuck was I meant to ask that idiot Spaniard if I could take one with him?
Whilst having my inner debate, I must have kicked the wall or something, because suddenly a curious idiot popped his head outside the bathroom door, scaring the fuck out of me.
"Ahh~! Lovi!" he said with a big grin, not seeming phased at all by my half nudity... or his complete nudity, for that matter. "What's the matter? Are you missing something? How can boss help~?"
I felt my cheeks heat up as I tried desperately to figure out what to say. Preferably, I would have sprinted back to the guest bathroom and just hid, but my legs wouldn't seem to move! After opening and closing my mouth several times, probably making myself look like a fucking fish, I managed to mumble out, "D-Damn it, I... I don't want to fucking say it..."
Like the clueless idiot he was, Spain tilted his head and let out a confused, "Què?"
I sighed, knowing I didn't have the confidence to explain myself, and started walking back to the guest room, deciding it was better to just go and sleep. Unfortunately, Spain had other ideas, and in all his naked glory—I-I mean, stupidity—he rushed out to snatch my wrist and stop me from leaving.
"Bastard, let me go!" I snapped at him half heartedly, but the Spaniard was already far too curious to let me go. After a moment of struggling, I gave up and forced my eyes onto my feet. I refused to speak, not trusting my voice, especially seeing as my cheeks were already bright red. Stupid fucking Spain, doing that to me...
Seeing that I wasn't going to answer him anytime soon, Spain decided to pull me into his arms and softly stroked my hair, humming to himself for a while. His whole body was wet, something I had failed to notice until I was up against him, yet somehow I didn't care. His arms were comforting, as much as I hated to admit it.
"... Ay, Lovi? Did you want to have a bath with boss?" he asked after a while, keeping up his soothing hair stroking. Without realising at first, I found myself nodding slowly. I'd given up, what point was there in protesting? Obviously the idiot was smarter than I gave him credit for, seeing as he'd pieced it together on his own.
Letting out a low hum, Spain gently let me go, frowning as he began to examine my pretty much exposed body. "Romano, you do realise that isn't something adults do who aren't a couple, si?" he asked, although clearly not expecting an answer. "I realise mi tomate must be scared of water still, and I want to protect you! But not if we aren't a couple Lovi, I just wouldn't feel right about it."
I nodded in understanding, feeling myself tear up a little. Stupid damn emotions, making me look weak!
"I understand, bastard," I grumbled, turning once again to leave. Unexpectedly though, the bastard snatched my wrist again.
"Lovi, if we were a couple it would be okay though!" Spain said, almost sounding a little desperate. I turned to face him, wiping away my unshed tears with the back of my hand before looking at him in confusion.
"What the fuck are you trying to say, damn it?" I demanded, my stomach doing a stupid little back flip as a pair of emerald eyes met my own olive ones. I didn't understand, why the fuck did he feel the need to emphasise the point that we weren't a damn couple? It already hurt enough as it was... E-Except it didn't, because that was wrong, disgusting, and I didn't feel that way about Spain at all...!
"I'm saying that mi tomate should become mi amor! You should be my boyfriend Lovi, so we can take a bath together!" he said enthusiastically, his eyes sparkling with hope. It took me a moment to realise he was serious, and when I did my face just turned bright red... again.
This had to be some kind of damn trick, the bastard probably only meant for the duration of the bath anyway! No way would he want to be my boyfriend! Why would anyone? And more importantly, why would I be his damn boyfriend? We couldn't be a couple, it was wrong! We were both men! ... None of that stoped the stupid hope rising in my chest, though.
"Stronzo! You don't want to be my boyfriend, stop fucking around," I snapped, tugging at my wrist in hopes of getting free. As usual, I was unsuccessful.
"Aww, Lovi! Why wouldn't I want to be your boyfriend?" Spain asked, a pout taking over his lips. "You're just so cute, and lovable, and... Te amo, Lovino! Te amo! I mean it, I really do!"
If it was possible, my heart stopped for a moment. Surely I was asleep; the bastard had never said that to me before. Never... Yet, he seemed to mean it, and without even realising it I said, "Ti amo troppo, bastardo."
For a moment, there was silence. My simple trip to the bath had turned into a love confession, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't unexpected. I never planned to tell the bastard my feelings, partially because I didn't think they were returned, and partially because it was a sin! No fucking way was I going to be such a terrible sinner by being in a relationship with a man!
Fortunately for me, that was only the terrified part of my brain talking, and I was able to silence it. Who the fuck cared if it was a sin, I was a nation! Every nation was a sinner, why not add the love of another man to my list? Fuck it all, I didn't even care if I was going to hell anymore.
"Lovi, please be my boyfriend," Spain asked, after a few moments of uncertain silence. His eyes were begging, and his whole posture made it clear that he would be absolutely crushed if I denied him. So, who the fuck was I to deny him?
"Fine, damn it," I grumbled, my cheeks heating up again. From what little I got to see, it appeared I wasn't the only one blushing... But I didn't have time to register my b...boyfriend's face, because as soon as the words left my lips I was being dragged into the bathroom.
In what seemed like seconds, Spain was back in the bath (filled with bubbles, typical childish bastard!) and grinning like a child with a new toy. He motioned cautiously for me to join him, his eyes sparkling in cautious excitement. With a deep breath, I unwrapped the towel from around me and followed him into the bath, vaguely noticing the smell of rose scented bubble bath as I did so (probably from that bearded freak France).
Instantly, a comforting set of strong arms wrapped themselves around me, and a face began to nuzzle the back of my head when I squeaked in both fright (from the water) and embarrassment... in a manly way of course! As if I'd ever squeak like a girl, how stupid would that be?
"Mmm, gracias mi amor," Spain said suddenly, his lips vibrating against my neck as he started nuzzling that. I tilted my head slightly in confusion, earning a few grateful kisses up the rest of my neck.
"What the fuck are you thanking me for?" I asked, quieter than I meant to be. Damn Spain, and his stupid mouth being all over my damn neck! It was clouding up my thoughts, especially the ones telling me to push him the fuck away.
"For being my boyfriend, of course~!" Spain answered, as if it was completely obvious. "Now my life is complete! I can have my little Lovi by my side forever!"
There were so many things I wanted to say to that. I wanted to tell the bastard that he was stupid, and that I should have been thanking him... I wanted to tell him that I wasn't little, and hit him for it! I especially wanted to tell him that I would have been by his side, regardless... But, my pride wouldn't let me.
My pride would, however, allow me to turn myself around so I was facing Spain, awkwardly sitting on his lap and grumbling about how he needed a bigger bath. Thankfully, the idiot was too distracted being bright red to react until I pressed my lips against his (yes, my pride is fucking illogical).
At first, my lips were just awkwardly... well, there, not really doing anything except pressing against Spain's. Finally, after I nearly pulled away, the bastard pressed back, slipping his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him.
There was no tongue, no eating of each other's faces like what happens in the movies. It was just two people, with their lips happily pressed against each others, enjoying each other's company.
Not that I'd ever tell Antonio that.
Finally, after the best few moments of my fucking life, we both pulled away. One of us just sat there, grinning, while the other tried to hide and pretend the kiss never happened. It should be fucking obvious who was doing what.
There was a comfortable, embarrassing silence after that. We both just sat there, not having any fucking clue as to what we were supposed to do next. I mean, we were in a fucking bath, suddenly a couple, and I'd just had my first kiss.
What else were we meant to do? Fuck? Bitch, please. If you think people fuck each other after just becoming a couple you're fucking wrong and need your head checked!
Anyway... We just sat there for a while, not really sure what else to do, before both of us realised that the purpose of a bath was to... well, get clean. It also occurred to both of us that we were naked, and I was sitting on Spain's lap in a position that was almost sexual... There was nothing in it of course!
After both of us turned bright fucking red, I quickly moved myself around so my back was facing Antonio again. My cheeks puffed out—an automatic reaction I had whenever I was trying to be mad—and it was all I could do to grab the soap and mumble something incoherent about not wanting the damn bastard to watch me clean myself.
Several minutes later, after some awkward and embarrassing attempts at cleaning ourselves (no, I didn't let the bastard help me!) we got out of the bath, as people tend to do. Originally, I planned to wrap myself in my own towel and go off to hide in my bedroom, but Antonio seemed to have other ideas. The second I went to grab my own towel, his arm wound its way around my shoulders, pulling me against him so we could both be wrapped in his own towel.
"D-Damn it, I can dry myself you jerk," I grumbled, not minding as much as I wished I did. Antonio let out a light chuckle, the kind that almost brought a smile to my face, and replied"I know you can Lovi~! I just didn't want to let you go!"
I felt my face heat up once again, and did all I could to hide the fact... which happened to be hiding in Antonio's chest. Whether this was a smart idea or not, I really couldn't tell. Part of me really enjoyed the way the bastard's warm arms wrapped themselves tightly around me in reaction to my face's current position, and the other part of me was screaming at me to push him the fuck away! I still wasn't used to the romantic affection, not in the slightest, so I was left quite clueless.
"Ah, Lovi? Maybe it's a bit too soon to be asking you this, but would you like to sleep in my bed tonight, mi querido?" Antonio whispered in my ear suddenly, making me jump in surprise. How the fuck had the bastard gotten so close to my ear without me knowing damn it? If he was trying to be 'sexy', it didn't fucking work! It was scary as fuck! Needless to say, my head snapped up quick as lighting to glare at him.
"Don't do that again, bastard!" I scolded him harshly, pinching the skin on his chest as punishment. The Spaniard hissed lightly in pain, and began to pout... until I added"But fine, I'll sleep in your damn bed... That's all I'll be doing there though, got it?"
Spain's—Damn it, I mean Antonio's face, lit up like a child on Christmas morning. Firstly, I was definitely going to have to get used to calling the bastard by his human name (it would be expected, damn it!), and secondly I felt like this 'sleeping in the bastard's bed' was going to become a common occurrence.
As I was dragged towards the bastard's bedroom"WHAT ABOUT MY FUCKING PYJAMAS, ASSHOLE? I realised that honestly... I could get used to this. Was that bad? Fucked if I knew, or know... But honestly, I stopped giving a fuck. Things were always more fun when they were bad anyway!