Author's Note: Another little Faberry piece, and in another unusual for me person, this time, first person. I hope you enjoy and please, read and review. Constructive Criticism is always welcome.
I never thought it would be so easy to break me. I mean, I've been through a lot in my life, a teenage pregnancy, my father, my mother and then my own stupidity but I always made it out of the other side and worked to become something more. I always built on what I had been at the beginning, after crumbling, and somehow at the end I became something more.
I didn't think it was possible that one girl telling me that her stupid moronic boyfriend asked her to marry him could break me. Maybe it wasn't that which broke me, thinking on it, maybe it was the fact that she had told him yes.
Maybe it was that. Maybe it was the thought that I would never be able to apologise and tell her the truth about why I was ever mean to her. Maybe it was the fact that I was losing my chance without ever having one in the first place. Perhaps I didn't think it would break me but then again I never thought it would happen either.
I thought she was smarter than that. I thought she was more intelligent than to believe that Finn Hudson could ever be the one to give her everything. I never thought that she could fall for his charming words, ignoring everything else that he did because it was easier to believe those words than take into account his actions. I know she is better than Finn Hudson, she's better than I am, she's better than Lima. Yet I also know that if she lets herself settle for Finn she'll never be better than Lima. If she marries him, she will never escape this godforsaken town in the middle of epic nowhere. Rachel Berry, the most perfect girl in the world according to me, is settling for a moron.
I never believed that one person could become the centre of my entire universe, but then again I never thought that I would fall in love. I didn't believe in love. I believed in marrying to gain status and money, I believed in relationships that furthered your own needs. I didn't believe that love existed. I mean, why would I? My parents' relationship was not there because of love, I know that, they married because my father got my mother pregnant when they were dating and their parents believed that it would be a good match. They married because they were going to have children, not because they wanted to have children together, but because it was expected that they would. I don't want to be like that, but it's the only type of marriage that I know.
I didn't believe in love until I saw Rachel Barbara Berry walking down the hallway at McKinley High school on my first day. I didn't believe in love until our eyes connected across the hallway and my cheeks flushed for no reason. I didn't believe in it until I felt it. I don't know if she felt it then but I know that I couldn't let myself feel it. I closed myself off from my feelings because I knew my father wouldn't approve. He couldn't, not with the things that he said about sinners and religion.
I love her. I love her more than I ever thought I could, which means that I'm going to put on this pink dress and drive to her wedding and stand next to her at the altar as she marries someone else. I'm going to make her happy the only way that I can. I know it is going to hurt. It's going to be painful, but I'll be there for her. I'll be there.
"Where are you?" My phone beeps beside me on the passenger seat of my car and for a moment, I'm smiling because I know it is her. Then I'm not because I know why she is texting me and I can't help but feel the stab of pain in my heart. It hurts, but I knew that it would. So, I smile and pick up the phone, typing out my response and pressing send.
I'm not quite sure what happens next, my life doesn't flash before my eyes, all I see is her. Her smiling lips, her sparkling eyes and her flushed pink cheeks. It's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen before and then it fades. I fade into darkness, but it doesn't hurt. I've seen an angel after all.