Let me start off by saying hello!
I have been absent from ff for a long time, and I'm terribly sorry.
I'm getting back into the swing of things, writing wise.
Hopefully I'll be uploading a little more frequently!
Second, let's have some background.
So my best friend Barbara and I have grown very fond of the idea of 'Superhusbands', or 'Stony', which is Steve Rogers (Cap'n 'merica) and Tony Stark (IRON MAN MMMFFFPPPHHH). And then we started randomly listing off insanely crack superhero pairings.
Thus, this was born.
Flame it if you will.
It has no right to even be called a fanfic.
But hey, if ya need the laugh, you came to the write place.
Hal Jordan was tired and he just wanted a cuddle.
He had a long day at Ferris Aircraft, more know-it-alls breathing down his neck, telling him he's wrong, how he'll never be anything like his father.
He knew that. He made it clear that he knew. But still. They kept talking.
Then a galaxy emergency. Hal would've skipped it, but Kilowog threatened to "tear your heart right out of your body cavity without spilling a drop of blood". To put it short, he is a very persuasive Lantern.
And now he was home. He kicked off his shoes, dropped his coat on the ground, and just.
Stared at the patio door.
He was tired and he just wanted to cuddle.
And there was the patio door.
It was tantalizingly close.
So he took fate by the hand and frolicked towards it.
He opened the glass door slowly, smiling fondly at the night sky and the green grass and—
The rotting stump plopped in the dead center.
Hal shut the door behind him, staring at the stump lovingly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Sorry I'm home late."
The stump sat there….stumping.
Hal chuckled, "I know you hate it, but I was held up at work. But I'm here, and I'm all yours."
The stump was silent.
The tall lantern walked slowly towards the piece of nature, frozen in time in his backyard. "You always give me the silent treatment when I get here late. I'm sorry, okay?"
A breeze snuck through the branches, rustling the leaves.
"Do you want me to sleep out here tonight?"
The stump had no reply.
"I was going to even if you said no." Hal smiled. He quickly rushed in the living room, grabbing a throw pillow and a blanket and making his way back outside. He shut the patio door, walking over to the stump and setting down the pillow and blanket. He curled up next to it, peering up at the sky. "Man, these stars are beautiful…" Hal said breathlessly, loosely wrapping an arm around the circumference of the stump. He glanced over at it.
"I don't get why I love you so much—it honestly stumps me."
Mostly written for the pun, to be totally honest.
We call it 'Greenthumbshipping'.
Why did you click this abomination?
I'm probably going to regret posting this.