Ello! This is my first real fanfic, you see… I posted this story a little while back, but then I discovered Annabeth wasn't as in character as I wanted her to be… So I read up on how to write her character properly, and tada! Fixed!
And I own neither the song nor the Percy Jackson series, so please don't sue me! :D
The night is cold while I sit here at the sea's edge, the grains of sand slipping through my toes as I pull my legs closer to my chilled body. Most people would probably go back inside their warm room, snuggle into their soft blankets, and close their eyes to dream of sweet nothingness.
I can't do that.
I can't, even when the wind blows in with its icy chill, because when I do… I see him. Tears gather in my eyes, NO! Bringing my hands up to my eyes, I furiously rub away the moisture with the backs of my hands. I can't cry, I… I won't! Even though I tell myself I won't, the moisture repeatedly comes back to my eyes, and every time I get rid of the annoyance, it comes back twice as fast. Soon I had to keep my shaking hands over my eyes to keep my tears from forming. Unfortunately, the fresh tears pooled up to the point where I could no longer hold them, even with my hands acting as barricades against them. Since they already escaped from there prison, I let them flow freely down my cheeks.
2 am; where do I begin?
Crying off my face again
The silent sound of loneliness
Why – why?! Percy, he's been missing, missing for the last week and considering the last place he was seen, he might be… be gone. Gone forever. This feeling, this pain – my broken eyes, my numb mind, my shattered heart. It can't be true – but reality is a cruel master. My Seaweed Brain, my Percy, my love...
This seems like a horrible illusion, but I don't think one could feel this much pain, even in such a nightmarish mirage. Those happy memories – Percy and I dancing after we saved Lady Artemis, the comfort of his arm when I fell for the Sirens' song, the kiss I stole from his sweet, tender lips – they seem to fade away. Fate has dealt a cruel hand.
It can't be real: first Luke, and now Percy? Gods, please, no, please don't let it be true.
I start to get up, even though I think I could fall from the grief at any minute. Remembering the dance, the touch of his gentle hands, the soft, soothing music, us moving side to side, swiftly and smoothly. I start to reenact our dance, even though my partner is just the bone-chilling air, the music the sound of the crashing waves, and his touch made of my precious memories.
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
Soon my legs give out under the weight of my hopelessness, and I collapse on the damp ground, scattering the grains of sand all around me. I let it all out, all the frustration, all the pain, hurt, worry, hopelessness, guilt, fear, anger, and sadness, slipping out of me in the form of my tears... but there is one feeling that won't go away... the loneliness.
It hurts. It hurts so much. It's like someone ripped me apart piece by piece, bit by bit, burned it all to ash, and then left me there to be forgotten, even by the gods.
As if the skies themselves are mocking me, it starts to rain. Drip... Drip... drip, drip, drip, drip. After a while, I'm soaked and frozen to the core, but it doesn't matter, nothing matters, not without him by my side to hold me, cherish me, love me, stay with me, comfort me, and never let me go. Even if I tried to find someone else, it wouldn't be the same, it wouldn't be real, it wouldn't even be right. No, nothing can be the same without Percy, because without him, I'm missing half my soul. Right now though, I'm tired, and I just want to stop, and lie down, let the blackness takeover, and take me away for this nightmare.
Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me till I fall asleep
I try to breathe, but I can't, the scream of inner agony, trapped inside my throat won't let me. Trying in vain to calm myself down, I decide to let the intoxicating sound of the waves brush up against the chaotic thoughts of my worried mind. The sound clams me, if only a little, because this was – is – his favorite place. I scold myself, thinking about him in a past tense. He can't be dead, I won't let him be dead, even if I have to go to Hades' palace and drag him back myself, he will come back. He must come back.
Then I remember, the sound of his voice, the song he seemed to resonate from his very soul, (although it was almost always off key,) whenever I was afraid, sad, or feeling any other negative emotion, the song only I could hear, the song that was just for me. I close my flickering eyes; let beautiful melody flow from my parched lips.
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again
It might have only been notes with no words, but it still sounds heaven sent, because that is what Percy is, heaven sent, my guardian angel. Before long, the darkness reminds me my heaven sent isn't where he should be, which is right beside me, dispelling all my doubts, my worries, and my fears. Now that I know him, It will be hard to live without him, impossible, no, hard, very, it wouldn't be right to live without my other half. Without him, my life is nothing but a shattered tale, one where nothing is right and everything is twisted.
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Even now my story is twisted into something it should not be, because he is not here beside me. Although I stand at the ocean's edge, he is but vapor in the icy breeze, grazing my skin, yet I can never grab a hold of it. Seaweed Brain has been taken from me.
Now there's only me
Before, his hands would guide me, his shining smile and bright, iridescent sea-green eyes would light my path... but now I'm standing here, the darkness as my keeper, the stars as my only light, and for the first time in a long time, I feel truly... alone.
and the Lonely
A/N: Done! I hope I keep Annabeth in character, and I appreciate constructive criticism, and/or someone pointing out errors. Thank you!
Edit: This is "Shadows of a Dream," Spark's friend/Beta/fellow nerd (and daughter of Athena!) I helped her make some edits to this, despite the fact that it was ALREADY adorable, so yeah. Hi. And bye. May the gods be ever in your favor! XD