Does anybody remember The Sandlot? *smiles nostalgically* :) I don't own that or Twilight, but here ya go. This is based off a scene in that movie. I stole a little dialogue too. I have no shame. It's too cute.


Edward "Scrunch" Masen – Michael "Squints"

Emmett Cullen – Hamilton "Ham"

Jasper Whitlock – Scotty "Smalls"

Jake Black – Benny

Seth Clearwater – Kenny

Riley Biers – Bertram

Diego Cortez – Timmy

Fred Cortez – Tommy "Repeat"

Ben Cheney – Alan "Yeah-Yeah"


(Summer of 1962, after 5th grade)

[ I know that's not Fred's real last name, but he's brother to Diego in here so whatever. ;) ]


.|Been Plannin' It for Years|.

We walk through the chain link gate, raggedy towels in tow. The air is the perfect definition of summer. It smells of chlorine and heat and sunscreen and something indiscernible. The sun beats down like a bitch, but it feels good.

Emmett ran off to the bathroom, claiming his need to piss, and we all threw our towels onto an empty lawn chair. Riley runs to the edge of the pool and jumps in, splashing some water on Edward. He squealed and yells his protest while defiantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses. Riley just laughs at him. Edward – or "Scrunch", as we call him, for always scrunching up his eyes in the sun – took a few steps back and ran towards the pool, skinny limbs flailing.

I'd just moved here a couple months back and thought it would be completely different. I thought I'd be holed up all summer all by myself with nothing but some comics and TV baseball to keep me company, but then I found these guys one day playing ball on a crappy dirt lot and everything changed. They weren't just my team mates, but my best friends. More a family then I felt at home, that's for sure.

The rest of us got in. The water was cold as a witch's tit, but that's fine since it was scorching outside. Everyone was at the pool today on account of it being the hottest recorded day in town history.

"Hey guys, check out Emmett," Seth says. We all look over to see Emmett strutting around the corner of the pool. He flashes a daring smile at the ladies and we all snicker at their obvious distaste, because Emmett is not a looker. He's fat, there's no way to put it lightly, but he's dashing and those dimples always get our mothers to fall in the palm of his chubby white hand.

"Ladies," he warbles, and they giggle. He nods at them before cannonballing into the pool. They screech as water splashes on them and we all laugh as he doggy paddles towards us.

"Smooth, man. Smooth," laughs Jake. He was the first guy I met there, and he kind of took me under his wing.

Emmett sticks his chin out in defiance.

If I was being completely honest, we didn't really ever come to the pool for swimming. We all went because… well, because Bella Swan was the lifeguard. Man, she was something. With her long brown hair pulled back in a red bow, tan legs crossed at the knee. She takes her job seriously; you can tell by her focused expression, even from behind her sunglasses. But isn't she a tease, up there on her guard tower? All red lips and full hips and sunshine radiating off her. She was a summer sight to behold.

She had just come out onto duty, and she sat up on her high life guard's chair putting on sun screen. It was the sexiest thing I'd seen in all my eleven years.

"Oh, man," groaned Jake.

Ben shook his head. "Yeah yeah, too cruel. She don't know what she's doin'. She don't know what she's doin'."

"Yeah she does. She knows exactly what she's doin'."

I looked over at Scrunch. He pushed his water darkened crazy-hair out of his eyes and I noticed his glasses fogging up. He took them off and squeaked them clear. "I've swam here every year of my adult life, and every year there she is, lotioning and oiling, oiling and lotioning…" I saw that desperate feeling that sends men running for the hills rise up in his scrunched green eyes. "Smiling… I can't take this no more!"

He shoved us aside, trying to get to the ladder and climbed the steps, water dripping from his small blue swim trunks. He shivered for a second, then straightened up and took off on a gallant stride towards the opposite end of the pool.

"What's he doing?" I asked Diego.

He shakes his head. "No clue, Jasper." Fred silently repeats his older brother.

Edward edged closer towards the life guard and sent us a goofy smile as he rounded past her chair.

"Three summers of this and I think he finally snapped," said Seth.

"I don't know," piped up Ben. "But that's the deep end, and Scrunch can't swim!"

We all turned to watch him climb the searing metal bars up to the deep end diving board. It was like a train wreck or a wild forest fire; we knew we should stop it, but it was too entertaining to look away.

Scrunch inched his way to the edge of the board consciously, slowly. He shakily took off his glasses and encased them safely in his tight fist. He'd caught the lifeguard's attention and waved at her. She waved back and his skinny little stick body shivered, either because of the wind blowing on his pale, wet skin or just because of her smile. He looked over into the deep before holding his nose. There's a moment then of suspended silence, and then he's gone in a blink of the eye and water splashes. He jumped!

Oh shit! I know we were all thinking it as we swam towards where he'd jumped. No bubbles came up.

A flash of red ran across my vision and I have just enough time to see round hips slink beneath the water surface. Bella has jumped off her lifeguard tower. We've all reached the pool ledge and run around to the diving board, yelling Somebody, help him! I can see Bella under the water, a thin red blub. She's reached Scrunch by now, and they look like a bleeding American flag: red next to white next to blue. She rises to the surface with him cradled in her arms.

We're causing a huge commotion, thrashing hands useless and restless feet thundering. Bella hands him off to the other life guard, who is far less exciting and admittedly male, Mike and he lays Edward down on the grainy concrete. They quickly confer on which method of CPR to begin with, but Scrunch is obviously not breathing. Bella crouches next to him, pinches his nose and pulls his mouth open for a life breath. She leans down and breaths into him. We can all see his little chest rise, but when Bella listens to his heart, nothing else happens.

"Come on, Scrunch, come on!" Diego shouts.

"Come on!" Fred hastily follows.

She breathes into him again, and again nothing happens. "His heart is beating, but he's not breathing!" she says, her voice strained.

"Come on, Edward!" Jake shouts, like yelling will bring him out of unconsciousness.

"Get up, Scrunch!"

"Yeah yeah, he looks pretty crappy."

"Breathe, man!"

"We need ya!"

"Oh God," mutters Riley. "He looks like a dead fish."

Then three things happened in succinct order. Bella gave him another life breath and checked his heart, I noticed that for an unconscious person, he had a pretty good grip on his glasses, and then his eyes just . . . opened. He looked right at us.

I didn't realize that we were all bent forward at the waist until all of us shot ram rod straight up in confusion. Scrunch gave us that weird and signature goofy smile, one side higher than the other and all teeth showing.

Then the smile melted off his face as Bella came in for another breath, and I realized too late what he was doing. So did she.

His arms slung up and wrapped around her neck, holding her there for a kiss.

Suddenly, she freaks out. Bella braces her arms against the concrete to push away, and when that's not enough, she slaps at his shoulders. She finally breaks free and shouts in his face. "You little pervert!" He just smiles at her.

"Oh man, he's in deep shit!" says Riley.

She grabs Scrunch under his armpits and hauls him up. Her face is furious and red and Scrunch's never ending grin isn't helping. She pulls him along towards the gate and we all scramble after the two. I notice he's missing his glasses and turn back to get them, but Emmett has picked them up already and is running towards the front of our crowd. Bella has thrown Scrunch on the small grassy hill outside the gate, and with a prompt "And stay out!" she turns around in a huff and saunters back into the pool area. We have no time to ogle her retreating backside because, after grabbing our clothes from the locker room, we hoofed it outta there.

The boys are all pushing and shoving each other to help Scrunch off the ground, and even though we've just been shunned from the pool, we're laughing like hyenas. Because Scrunch is a damn genius with that maneuver he just pulled.

"Oh hey, here are your glasses." Emmett runs up to Scrunch. "Did you plan that?"

Scrunch puts his glasses on and shoves them up his nose, a smug crooked smile on his face. "'Course I did, been plannin' it for years!"

"You guys, he planned that! He knew what he was doing! Oh man…" We all yell in appreciation as we stumble to get our clothes back on. The dry dirt and grass was already turning mucky from our wet feet and dripping swim trunks. I look back at Scrunch for a moment, and he's got his fingers hooked in the chain link fence. He's staring intently through the holes in the fence, face all scrunched up.

The lifeguard is back at her post and she's glaring at Scrunch. She still looks angry, but as I watch, her face softens. She lifts her eyebrows expectantly, and with a friendly smile, waves at him. His face lights up and he waves back, elated.


Edward Scrunch Masen walked a little taller that day. He was lucky she hadn't beaten the crap out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low... and cool. He had kissed a woman, and he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that day, Bella Swan would look down from her tower, right over at Scrunch, and smile.

.|The End|.

I made Fred Mexican LAWL. Diego's name is Mexican, so I made Fred too. *shrug* :/

I hope y'all liked it! :) If you'd like to see the scene I used for reference, just copy this link and remove spaces: www . youtube watch?v=vr5lHZQz-Z4

And here are all the boys!: popcultureramble . files . wordpress 2012/03/the-sandlot_0 . jpeg

This idea erupted from me coming home one day thinking about faking drowning to make out with a hot lifeguard, then I remembered this movie scene, then I imagined them all as Twilight characters. Bada bing, bada boom, you got yourself a fan fiction. ;)

Oh, and also…

.|Tiny Ass Epilogue|.

Scrunch grew up and married Bella Swan. They have nine kids.

They bought Caius's Drugstore and still own it to this day.