AN: Alright, after a request for the four of them to actually reconvene, I decided to… have them reconvene… haha.
Ever since that night, Emma had been over at the mansion. She still technically lived with her mother, but it was much easier for everyone if she just slept at the mansion.
Emma sighed as she walked into the diner, "Hey Ruby."
Ruby looked up from wiping down the counter, "Hey." She said, "Long time no see…"
"Yeah, well… after, 'the incident' I figured it'd be best if I got Regina out of your guys' way and the only way to do that was to be with her at the mansion for a bit…" Emma shrugged as she sat down and settled in for lunch.
"Well, thank you for that… Last thing this town needs is Snow White and ex-Queen Regina to throw down anywhere…" Ruby smirked at her, "I tried to get her to not go up there…"
"I know… Thanks Ruby…"
Ruby raised a hand and tried to control the grin on her face, "Hey, what are mother's girlfriends for?" She leaned over to look at Emma square on, "I'd say nothing more than to help pull mothers off of their stepmother-slash-their daughter's girlfriend when they start to fight over what's best for the daughter…."
Emma was also trying to contain her smile, "Yeah, that does come in pretty handy…." She let out a laugh. They were silent for a moment then Emma slumped forward, "Oh my God, I just replayed those words in my head two more times…." She looked up at Ruby, "I am fucked up!" Ruby knit her brows, "I am in love with my step-grandmother…"
Ruby's nose scrunched, "When you put it like that, it sounds icky…" Emma raised her brows in an, 'obviously…' kind of way. "There's more to the situation than that and you know it. First, Snow and Regina are like…eight years apart or something like that. Second, Regina cursed us all to this land where no one aged for 28 years, so you and your mom are the same age, and Regina is only…however many—eight years older… And finally… I think that it was meant to happen… cause you and Regina…" Ruby shook her head, "Like, it's pure passion and love… I only hope that Snow and I could compare to you two…"
Emma looked down and half smiled, "Yeah, we say it's because we've been fucked and fucked up for so long that we know when we got something good… And we're not letting go. This time… She doesn't have a mother to rip my heart out, and I don't have… well I have her, but she's not going to rip me from my family to piss off my mom… she'll just eat me out in front of her apparently…"
Ruby tried not to laugh at that… because that hurt her girlfriend..and it should have hurt her too, right? But it was just too funny! She shook her head after a couple more minutes of trying to contain herself before she looked back at Emma, "What do you want to eat?"
Emma laughed and paced her order of a burger and fries. As she was starting into her food, her mother walked into the diner.
"Emma, dear." She walked over to her and hugged her blonde daughter.
"Hi Mom." Emma had a genuine smile on her face through her bit of burger.
"Have you been eating diner food since you went with that woman?" Snow asked concernedly.
"No Mom… I mean, I always eat lunch here… so yeah, but no, Regina's been feeding me well, I promise… besides, it's not like I'm not gonna come back home, I just need the two of you to cool off first."
Snow grunted then looked at her daughter's face. She held it in her hands, "Are you sure she's feeding you properly… Are you sleeping well?" She then placed the back of her hand against Emma's forehead.
"Mom!" Emma hit her hands away, "I'm fine… I know when I'm not okay… I'm fine." She grinned at the motherly attention despite its slight annoyance… she'd never had Snow to fuss over her until now… it was just how she'd always wanted it.
"I'm just concerned… About—"
"About me treating you poorly dear." Regina walked in with a graceful smile, "She thinks that this is another scheme for me to get back at her." She didn't look at the woman as she talked to her. She simply undid her coat and took off her gloves before running her fingers through her perfectly combed hair, "Honestly Snow, you really need to grow up. I have. I am not out to kill your daughter. I might would be if she wasn't so damn pretty, but when it comes down to it, I see her face, chest and ass and get lost in everything…" She looked down and grinned then nuzzled her nose against Emma's, "Especially that vulgar speak and those tortured eyes… She's one who understands loss, and that's how we found each other."
"She understands loss because you took everything from her!" Snow's anger flashed across her face.
The diner became silent. Everyone looked over to the two women on either side of the Sherriff.
"Oh for the love of Christ!" Emma stood up and pushed the other two women in their seats. "Both of you sit down and shut the hell up." She looked between her mother and her lover.
Ruby's face was as composed as it could possibly be, but the rest of the establishment was jaw-on-the-floor, choking-on-beverages, spit-takes-every-other-table, shocked.
"I am so tired of both of you. Didn't you ever learn not to say a damn thing if you can't say anything nice?" She looked at either side of her, "Now… I am bitchy, and grumpy and sleepy and I think that's all the dwarves I'm feeling for now, but I'm hungry too. And both of you well know that when I'm bitchy and hungry shit will get real. So I am telling you that you both are going to sit down and eat your lunches in silence or one of you will leave so I can eat my fucking food in some God forsaken peace. I mean Jesus Fucking Christ."
She sat back down and grumbled into her sandwich.
Ruby placed her hands on the counter, "You heard your daughter." She said to Snow, "And you heard your lover." She looked at Regina, "I think the least you ladies can do is apologize for making her life hell."
"I'm..I'm sorry Emma." Snow said quietly.
"Sorry darling." Regina spoke at the same time.
They both leaned forward and glared at each other.
"If Snow would just realize that I love you…" Regina started.
"If Regina would just realize that I don't trust her after everything she's done to me!" Snow bantered back.
"If Snow would just get it through her thick head—"
"If Regina would just get it through hers!"
"Oh my fucking God." Emma stood up, grabbed her plate and cup, "I'll bring these back, Ruby." She said without being noticed. And also without being noticed, she left the diner and crossed the street over into the town square. She plopped down on the gazebo steps and ate, finally in peace.
"If Snow would just understand that I'm not going anywhere!"
"If Regina would just understand that I'm not either! If Regina would just understand that I want what's best for you! And if she'd understand it's not her!"
"If Snow would understand that I am, actually what's best for you." Regina leaned forward to place her hand on Emma's thigh, only to come in contact with diner stool.
She looked down then up. "Where'd she go?"
Snow started looking around, "I don't…know…"
"She left." Ruby said, "She can only be pulled like a tug-of-war rope for so long…"
"Where'd she go, Ruby?" Regina looked at Ruby with expectant, take-charge eyes.
Ruby pointed outside and they saw Emma bouncing her legs to keep up with the cold and leaning over her plate to try to keep it warm. They saw her smile a closed-mouth, burger-filled smile as Grumpy and Nova walked by hand in hand.
They got up immediately and started for the door. They tried to exit at the same time and got stuck until Regina booty-bumped Snow out of the way and started walking over. Snow retaliated by checking Regina hockey style as they crossed the street. Regina, not one to be pushed around, shoved Snow as they got to the curb.
Emma looked at them in disbelief, "Oh, I don belie-dis shit…" She shook her head and spoke around a few fries in her mouth. She just took another bite of burger as her mother turned and shoved her lover back into the street. She stuffed another fry in with the burger as her lover smiled that wicked smile and nodded before walking over to Snow and punching her.
Ruby ran outside and yelled, "Emma do something!"
Emma looked over at Ruby, "Why? It's just gonna keep happening until we let them duke it out… and we better let them do it now before for some unknown reason magic comes back and we have to deal with all that shit…"
Ruby, who was holding herself against the weather considered this, nodded then walked back inside to watch from the window.
Emma turned back to the town Mayor and everyone's favorite schoolteacher duking it out right in the middle of town. They were slapping and punching and pulling hair and—"HEY!" Emma yelled at them, "No scratching! I saw that Regina! You scratch my Momma again, I'll make sure to get you back! And it ain't gonna be fun or sexy or nothin'!" Snow then scratched back, "MOM! What did I just say to Regina? NO Scratching!"
They quickly tired from the physical exertion fighting brings, but they kept trying to kill the other. Emma finished her meal, set the plate and cup down for a minute then walked over to them. They were both on their hands and knees facing each other, trying to lift their arms up and punch again….but they were really more pitty-pattying each other.
"Are you two finished?" Emma asked as she crossed her arms.
They both looked up at Emma tiredly.
"I just want…" they both started.
"I know." Emma nodded as she squatted and took her mother's face in her hands first, checking to see if Regina actually broke skin when she scratched her, checking on the blow of that first punch. She was fine.
"I know, Mom…" She helped her up, "I know."
Ruby had come out in a coat, grabbed Emma's plate and cup and walked over by this time, "Come on, Snow… Let's get you inside."
Emma squatted down again and examined Regina's face where Snow scratched her; she was fine too. Snow did give a good punch though, Regina's face looked worse than Snow's. Emma placed her thumb on Regina's bottom lip and pulled down to see inside her mouth. Her teeth were still pearly white, so she leaned in and kissed her.
"My mother hates you." Emma said, "And you hate her. But you have to respect the fact that she is my mother, that you took me from her and she has the right to be pissed that we're together. I am not asking you to be the bigger woman at this point… I am telling you to, alright?"
Regina looked up at her and knit her brows in anger, "I know! I know, what she did to you was horrible, blah, blah, blah. I don't care. It's been fucking like 30, 40 years since all your shit happened…" Emma stopped right there, "40 years, did I do the math right?" Regina glared at her, and Emma laughed, "Damn you is fine for a 60 year old." She said as she pushed Regina lightly back down onto the ground and laid on top of her, "Don't look a day over 28."
"Good genes…the only thing I got from my mother, and stopping time for 28 years will do that to a woman." Regina smiled.
Emma kissed her then pulled away, "I'm gonna make you a deal, alright?"
Regina arched a brow, "You know it's only Rumple who can't back down from a deal right?"
"Oh now," Emma smirked, "You won't want me making this deal with him…and you won't be able to back down." Emma waggled her brows then sobered, "Everyday that you don't get in a fight with my mother… Everyday you're the bigger woman… like I've told you to be… and believe me, I will know if you're lying to me, my mother will not hesitate to call me and tell me if you've harassed or picked fights with her… Everyday that you don't do anything to her… you can make love with me. And on the days you do, do something…Well, I'll be at my mother's house where you're not welcome anymore. We'll be having hot cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon, spending time with each other, like we do.." Emma grinned down at Regina then pecked her lips real quick, "So it's your choice, Regina… sex with your lover or fights with her mother…"
Regina nodded and only had once question: "Can this deal start tomorrow?"