Disclaimer: I don't own Two and a half Men and I don't think I ever will
"Since when did you learn to spell," Alan asked Jake jokingly.
There was a bit of tension between Jake and Alan and Alan was just trying to lighten the mood. He did less then a stellar job of doing so.
"THERE. RIGHT THERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I ACT THE WAY I DO," Jake screamed.
"Jake slow down buddy. What are you talking about?"
"YOU AND UNCLE CHARLIE ARE ALWAYS MAKING THESE JOKES ABOUT HOW DUMB I AM. YOU'RE ALWAYS PUSHING ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK RIGHT WHEN I GET HERE! EVERY TIME I ASK YOU SOMETHING THE ANSWER IS NO. YOU NEVER LISTEN TO MY OPINION. YOU'RE ALWAYS SO NEGATIVE LATELY AND YOU USED TO NEVER BE NEGATIVE! IT FEELS LIKE YOU DON'T LOVE ME; ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET MAD."
Alan was shocked because Jake never said any of this before.
"Every time I get in trouble you always think it's my fault," Jake continued, "Did it ever occur to you that I'm upset because I've been through a lot? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I miss the days when we would talk and bond and communicate? I'm not a robot dad. I do have feelings."
"Okay," Alan said, "A LOT of what you said is valid. Jake there are things in my life that happened before you were born that made me the way I am. Sometimes that carries onto the way I parent you but you have to know everything I do is because I do love you and I always will love you."
"Well I'm sorry that you went through yucky stuff," Jake said, "But really what did you go through that was so bad."
"Well for one thing," Alan said, "your grandma never loved me or Charlie. Well... not after I turned eight years old anyway. She started drinking after grandpa died and those drinks took over her life. I'm not always good at dealing with difficult situations. When I get scared my reaction is to get mad."
"Was that grandma's reaction," Jake asked.
"No. Grandma's reaction was to get drunk. Jake when you snuck out to the concert last night I started thinking about your sister."
"Dad," Jake said, "I DON'T HAVE A SISTER!"
"YOU HAD A SISTER," Alan said, "She was four years old and your mother was pregnant with you. Her name was Ellen Julia Harper."
"W-what happened to her," Jake asked.
"She was playing with the dog we had just gotten her and the dog went out onto the road," Alan said; his eyes filling up with tears, "She was instinctual... which means that she just reacted and went after Snowball. A car came up behind her and the driver didn't see her. He ran her over. That driver was the age of the child that drove you to the concert last night Jake and your mother and I discussed it and we decided that we weren't going to press criminal charges on that boy. It was an accident and that boy suffering criminally would not take away from the loss. His insurance paid well but we knew it would never help us to heal and then you came along and that... brought us new joy even though it understandably didn't take away the pain."
"Well what about you and Uncle Charlie making those jokes about me being an underachiever. It's not a joke to me. I know I'm dumb."
"Jake you're not dumb," Alan said, "and we won't make those jokes anymore. Now I'm still going to push you but not like I was. I'll figure out some way to work with you instead of making you feel I'm against you but Jake; one more thing. NEVER doubt that I love you."