I wasn't an idiot by any means, which was why I came into work on my day off. It was early still and there was a very good chance that Edward was still knocked out, drooling on his own shoulder. Besides, he hadn't called to rip me a new one, yet. Like I said, I wasn't stupid, so when he decided to kill me for I'd have witnesses.

Being that I had no appointments today, I spent the morning cleaning out my station and refilling everyone's ink and sanitation products. Basically, I was riding bitch in the shop, even picking up lunch for everyone.

I was digging into to my massive cheeseburger, because whoever said nothing taste as good as skinny feels didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. It was when I swallowed my first heavenly bite of greasy, cheesy goodness that I heard the front door slam open and heavy footsteps coming closer. I could smell him before I even saw him.

"Hey, Edward," I greeted coyly, feigning innocence. Boy, did he look upset. His hair was a mess, his face was red, and I swear there was steam coming out of his ears.

"What the fuck, Bella?" he shouted. Luckily for him there were no customers in the shop because I'm pretty sure Angela's tiny ass would have kicked us both out. Right now, they both tucked into their own lunches, watching the show with rapt attention. "I could sue you for this shit! Get your license revoked! How the fuck did you even do this to me without me waking up?"

He picked the wrong fucking time. My burger was sitting there getting cold while he threw threats my way. I was irate…and hungry.

"Don't you dare threaten me, asshole. You got what you deserved. The next time Tanya sucks your cock she'll know she wasn't the first and she won't be the last. Get the fuck out of here. I'm done with you. And you might want to check your friend since he was the one who helped me lay your ass out." My heart was racing and my blood was pumping. I was ready for a fight. If I had them on, I'd be taking my earrings off and asking someone to hold my chain.

"Are you listening to yourself? You're fucking crazy! You have no right to be pissed off at me. You. Tattooed. Your name. Five inches from my cock! Who do you think you are? Who does that?!" he screamed.

Well… I can scream louder.

"Me? I'm the person who loves you, that's who!" I screamed back.

"And you show that how? Permanently marking me…in pink no less? Grow up!"

I'd give him another color – two as a matter of fact, black and blue.

"Are you too good to have my name on you, then? Were you planning on breaking up with me all along?"

"You really are crazy," he grumbled.

"I am," I conceded. "Only a person who's lost their goddamn mind would do this." I dropped trou, again, to show him his name that I tattooed on my lower back. He was damn lucky my name wasn't as big as his name was on my body. A four by seven sized tattoo, written in gothic font, was not very inconspicuous.

"That's…that's my name," he uttered dumbly.

"Yeah, your name – that I permanently marked on myself. For you. Oh, but that's not all," I chuckled humorlessly.

I went to my station and pulled on the box that felt too heavy in my hand now. Luckily, I kept it in my draw for safe keeping. Anyone who wanted to keep their fingers knew not to encroach on my territory. Emmett had the scar on his hand to prove it how territorial I was of my station.

I threw the box at Edward when I was in front of him again. He opened it slowly, the air whooshing out of him when he took in the 18k gold, diamond, and onyx bracelet.

"That right there is the reason I couldn't spend every fucking minute of the day with you. I was trying to pay that off. It was supposed to be a surprise. Surprise!" I cheered sarcastically, waving my hands in the air.

"I don't understand," he said, looking up from the bracelet. I huffed in annoyance.

"Since it didn't seem like you were going to pop the question, I was gonna ask you to marry me. That," I said, pointing to the bracelet, "was supposed to be in lieu of an engagement ring. So there you go. You broke up with me while I was trying to find a way to propose to you," I cried. Literally cried.

I gave this guy my heart, told him things that neither Rosalie nor Jasper knew. It made me feel like such…a girl. He was the only person I ever loved or planned on loving for the rest of my life. Then here I was, crying like Alice, because Edward didn't love me anymore.

"Just go away, Edward. Tanya won." I sounded pathetic to my own ears. "I'll pay for the removal if you just walk away now." I turned back to my cheeseburger that didn't look a fraction of tantalizing anymore. I wanted to throw up.

"Wait, Bella," Edward urged. "You want to marry me? I thought you didn't want to get married at all."

"When did I ever tell you that?" I shrieked. I was giving myself whiplash with my emotional back and forth.

"The day we were watching that show about those chicks getting married. After we came home from the bar with Rose and Emmett? You said that I should never ask you to marry me if I didn't want you to turn into a raging bitch 24/7," he replied, defensively.

It took me a few minutes to realize what he was talking about.

"Oh, my god, are you serious? The day we watched Bridezilla?! I was drunk! I also asked you to front me the money to start my own zoo." Edward didn't respond, but I heard Angela and Ben snort in the distance. I flipped them the bird for good measure.

Edward was stuck on stupid as he continued to stare at me like I had a booger on my forehead.

"So you want to marry me?" he asked slowly, as if I was the idiot in this scenario.

"I did. Before you broke up with me for no good reason then treated me like a freaking whore." I looked over Edward's shoulder to talk to Angela and Ben. "Did I tell you guys that while he was on a date with this chick, he screwed me in the kitchen and jizzed on my chest. A keeper, huh?" I turned back to Edward. "I love you and you treated me like trash," I seethed.

Edward's faced turned red, a sure sign of his anger. I'm sure blabbing what happened in the kitchen to my bosses didn't exactly turn him on.

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged before turning to face Ben and Angie himself. "Did you know that sometimes, in order for Bella to come, she likes me to stick my finger up her…"

"Woah!" I shouted. "Party fucking foul." I did the time out signal with my hands. "What the fuck?"

"Well, you want to play the victim to your friends, so I'm merely shining light on the fact that you like the kinky stuff. Maybe you did get off when I shot my load on your tits," he said, wearing a devilish grin.

"This is better than that Honey Boo Boo show," I heard Angela muttered to Ben.

"I hate you so much sometimes," he said

"The feelings mutual, buddy," I retorted. "I don't know why the hell I even wanted to marry you."

The only sound that could be heard was Angela and Ben munching away and the crinkle of my lunch containers as I packed them away.

"Tanya's married," Edward confessed after a long pause.

I chuckled while keeping my back to him and cleaning my area. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? Good for you for bagging a married chick; keep it classy." I rolled my eyes though he couldn't see me.

"That wasn't a date; it was an interview."

"Spare me. I'm not dumb, so don't lie about it now."

"I'm serious! Lola is leaving and I needed another waitress. Tanya came in for the interview. We got to talking and somehow or another we got to the topic of you. I told her how the girl I loved cheated on me. I described you in perfect detail and it's not like beauties like you are walking around everywhere. Anyway, I was mad and I just wanted to get even and she played along. That's it. Nothing happened with her."

He wasn't lying, that was for sure. He had a lip licking tell that always gave him away when he lied.

"What about the date Emmett told me you had? If not Tanya than whom else are you seeing?" I asked. Momma didn't raise no fool. He wasn't getting away so easily.

"I was meeting with Tanya, but I don't know why Emmett called it a date. I didn't. I was meeting with Tanya and her husband, Alistair. They wanted to take me out for dinner to say thank you for giving Tanya the job. Supposedly, she's been unemployed for close to a year and their savings ran dry months ago."

I remained quiet because, really, how do you respond to something like that? Plus, and I hated this about me, I needed to have the last word.

"Alright, fine, that was my mistake and I'll own up to it, but what about you? How could you honestly believe that I'd cheat on you? I've never given you a reason to believe otherwise and you had no actual proof. My word wasn't good enough for you. How do you think that makes me feel? The fact that you gave up so easily had me questioning everything we had."

"I dunno. Nothing was making sense. You were cancelling plans on me, showing up late, and making excuses for why you couldn't hang out. I could see in your eyes that something was up, but I didn't know what. I even went to Jasper for advice and he had nothing. What was I supposed to think?" He didn't sound as defensive as I had. In reality, he sounded quite sad.

"What made this break up so different than the others?" I asked, my voice just as defeated as his, but I needed to know.

"Because the other break ups were just us being too hot-headed for stupid reasons; neither of us wanting our ego to take a hit. Infidelity was never an issue before," he explained.

"So where does that leave us now?"

"Depends." He shrugged. "Do you still want to marry me?"

I nodded vigorously, putting my pride aside for awhile. "I do. I really, really do." I was openly crying again. I didn't want to lose Edward and despite everything, I still wanted to be his wife.

"Alright," he said slowly; not very enthusiastically. "Then clip this on me and give your fiancé a kiss."

My eyes, that were studying the carpet, snapped up to his in surprise. He was wearing the smirk that I hated to love. His hand was outstretched holding the jewelry box for me to take. I grabbed it carefully, afraid that at the last second he would yell "psych" and tell me he'd never marry me.

"Seriously?" I asked, making sure this wasn't a cruel joke. Before he was even done shaking his head, I removed the bracelet from the small velvet pillow. "Will you marry me?" I asked before fastening it around his wrist.

"Yes." I secured it as his smile beamed down on me. I kissed him hard on the lips as Ben and Angela provided the background music in the form of horrible humming.

"Thank you." I felt like I had to thank him for taking me back despite the hell I put him through. "And I'm sorry about the tattoo."

"Don't be. I love it," he replied. I stepped back to look up at him, clearly shocked. He laughed at my confusion. "Do you really think that I would hate having your name on me? You could have picked a manlier color, but since you're the only one I plan on blowing me, I'm cool with it."

"You're such an asshole for making a scene like that." I smacked his chest hard. "I fucking love you."

"You two are the weirdest fucking creatures on the plant," Ben complained. "Please don't breed. The world can't handle any more of this idiocy. C'mon, Angela, help me hide all the sharp object in case Bella wants to seal the deal in blood."

"Wait a second, that's it?" Angela asked as Ben dragged her away. "No one is going to declare their undying love for the other?" She continued to spew profanities at our "whack asses" as Ben pried her away from the scene.

I laughed against Edward's lips as he laughed back. Maybe Edward and I were fucking insane, but that's what made us perfect for each other. What we lacked in moral fiber we made up for in passion.

Edward couldn't fathom what he was in for when he agreed to marry me.

AN: So yeah…

Epilogue? No epilogue? Shut the hell up and update my other stories? Let me know. The epi isn't written, so it'll take a little bit if I go that route.

All things Twilight belong to SM