Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. They both belong to Joss Whedon who so cruelly has kept Buffy and Angel apart. This is just my way of getting over that fact.

A/N: I hope you read the authors note I posted. If not PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR"S NOTE IN THE PREVOUS CHAPTER. Seriously read it.

Alright so here goes the chapter.

Buffy was busy sharpening a stake when she felt warm hands wrap around her. Buffy sighed as Angel pulled her back so that their bodies were touching.

"Your heart is fluttering like a hummingbird." Angel murmured as his hands caressed the skin over the said organ. "Want to tell me the cause of it."

Buffy pulled out of Angel's hold and turned around. "I am afraid." She revealed. "No… I am terrified."

"We will get through this Buffy" Angel promised.

"Yeah" Buffy breathed "we will, only to have some other evil son of a bitch trying to screw us over again and again and again. It won't ever stop." Buffy moved away from Angel. Weaving a hand through her hair she clenched it in frustration. "You know, nine years ago… I thought I was done. I didn't just leave Sunnydale; I left me 'Buffy Summers- Slayer extraordinaire'. I left my mom, my friends, you and I left knowing how much I was hurting you all. But I still did it for my daughter. I needed to keep her safe. It was my job, not as a slayer but as a mother to keep the monsters away, and I did whatever I had to for that." Buffy shook her head. "And now I find out it was all for nothing. I failed, they found her, and even if we win today, there are still going to be those who will want to harm her… and … I don't know how to make it stop."

"We can't make it stop" Angel said truthfully. "But we can protect her, and we can show her how to protect herself."

"So that she can spend her life fighting, knowing that each day might be her last. Like a slayer, she will be leading the life of a slayer."

"And she will learn from one of the best." Angel smiled.

"Except I don't want her to, I want her have a normal life away from the darkness." Buffy let out a strangled laugh. "I want for her, what you wanted for me. I guess I finally get why you left me."

"Buffy" Angel walked towards her and lifted her chin. "You want for her what every parent wants, and we will give it to her. Yes she will have to face monsters both proverbial and literal but she will also get the good things."

"But what if we can't protect her, what if we can't…"

"We will protect her." Angel repeated. "We will keep her safe"

"Like you kept Conner safe." Buffy snapped. Angel flinched as if been slapped.

Buffy gasped as she realized what she said. Glancing at Angel's pale face she apologized. "I… I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did." Angel unclenched his fists trying not to let her rash words affect him. Taking a deep breath he took Buffy's hands in his. "But with Connor I was alone. Now I have you and you have me."

"And me"

"Connor" Buffy and Angel turned towards the door.

"What" Connor walked in. "Angela is my sister too, half, but sister. Plus, she is an amazing gaming partner and I am not going to lose that."

"Connor I" Buffy's eyes were glittering with happy hears.

"Hey, I was raised in hell, and I survived. Who else can take claim to that? So having me with you can only be a good thing." Conner grinned. "Also having a little sister I can boss around, I can't wait. Also once she is a teenager, all those boys I get to intimidate and maybe even beat up…"

"Um Connor" Buffy cut in looking amused. "You do remember that Angela is actually your elder sister right?"

"Semantics" Connor scoffed. "Anyways, the actual reason I am here, everyone is waiting."

"Where is Angela?"

"Angela is safe" Connor answered. "Miss Summers is with her and so is Cordelia, Mike and Mandy's husband. Also Spike and Mandy are staying behind for protection. She will be fine."

"I guess that means its show time" Buffy said.

Unfortunately show time started with the entire gang hiding behind trees surrounding the picnic spot. The plan was to wait for the whole congregation to meet and then to attack, starting with a magical bomb created by Willow and Amanda, to take out the majority of the demons. Currently Buffy was partnered with Willow, staking out the clearing while hidden by Willow's cloaking spell.

"Where are they already?" Buffy asked for the umpteenth time.

"Buffy patience" Willow begged.

"Is a virtue I lack" Buffy said sullenly.

Willow glared at Buffy. Getting the hint Buffy refrained from talking and peeked out at the point of interest. After keeping quiet for what she considered an acceptable amount of time Buffy spoke again.

"How much longer"

Willow closed her eyes and breathed. She had missed her friend, she really had but this was just too much.


"I don't know" Willow finally answered.

"Humph…' Buffy leaned against the tree.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything to keep my mind of this wait" Buffy grouched.

"Last night" Willow said. "I… I heard you and Spike."

"Oh" Buffy frowned, not getting the context.

"You both seem to be friends, really good friends."

"We are" Buffy smiled.

"You trust him so much, you trust him with Angela, and you trust him unconditionally."

"He has been there for the both of us for nine years. He is family." Buffy confessed.

"He is also a vampire" Willow blurted out. "A soulless monster"

"He might be soulless, but he is not a monster." Buffy said with conviction.

"Really, Buffy do you even remember Angelus."

"You think I can ever forget." Buffy asked incredulously.

A few feet away Angel winced as he heard Buffy and Willow's conversation over the ear-coms.

"Buffy Angelus happened because Angel lost his soul" Willow explained. "You of all people should know that vampires as a general rule are heartless and evil, especially when lacking a soul."

"Evil maybe, but not heartless" Buffy disagreed. "At least not without a reason"

"What does that mean?" Willow asked.

"Angelus" Buffy licked her dried lips. "He wasn't the way he was, just because he lacked a soul." She said. "Soul is just conscience; it tells us the difference between right and wrong. Angelus's deliberate cruelty, his hatred of love and humanity… that was because of something else."

"Like what" Willow was now intrigued.

"I have got a theory." Buffy gave a grimace. "When I was pregnant with Angela, I had these dreams, visions actually. Visions of Angel's past, Angelus and his human life…" Buffy frowned. "I guess it was some mystical side effect of the pregnancy. Anyways, as a human Angel… he didn't have a story book life. He was a carefree young man, your typical immature college boy I guess and his father had issues with that."

"Well, what father doesn't" Willow commented.

"Nothing Angel did was ever good enough. He wanted to please his father you know… underneath everything he wanted his father's approval. But he never got it, and then he became a vampire."

Wesley looked at Angel with surprise as he eavesdropped on Buffy.

Willow waited for Buffy to continue.

"One of the first things he did as a vampire was to slaughter his family. He saved his father for the last. So that he could look into his father's eyes and tell him that he had finally made something out of him." Buffy gave a dejected smile. "He wanted to prove to his father that he was not a nobody, and Darla told him that butchering his family would be the way to do it." Buffy's face twisted as she thought of Angel's sire. "Killing his family didn't help except probably made him feel worse, and Darla told him that it was because of love. It was because of the love infecting him. She made him believe that he killed his family because he loved them. He was young and hurting and innocent, and she took advantage of that. She made him lose every bit of humanity he had, she stopped him from ever daring to love again, and she made him hate everyone who tried to make him love again. She made him the monster that he was. That's why he hated me so much, because I made him feel, and he still couldn't kill me." Buffy said. "At least not with his bare hands and he had plenty of chances to."

Angel sucked in a breath as he realized the truth in her words.

"You feel sorry for him."

"Yeah… I do." Buffy admitted. "Anyways, point is Spike isn't Angelus." She said changing the rather personal subject. "Besides he always was a fool for love and a marshmallow. There is no other reason he stuck with Drusilla for all those years."

Willow laughed but quieted down as she heard rustling.

Buffy stiffened and peeked out of the leaves with an expectant smile. "Fee fi fo fum… I smell demons yum…yum."

So, did you like it. I mean it was kind of a heavy chapter but, sometimes they are needed. next chapter is filled with action and it will be up pretty soon... I hope. This story is coming to an end. I feel sad, but I have an idea for another story so...

Anyways guys REVIEW please, and also hoping to hear from you all on Live&Witching.


Also I am adding the link to my profile.

Until the next update!