Prelude: The bitch was pregnant? I snorted out a callous laugh. Here I was, a mutated genetic dead end. Having kids for me was completely out of the question. And this leech loving whiny ass vampire wannabe was going to have a kid!
Life is completely and utterly unfair.
A/N: It has come to my attention that after four years on this site, my story "The Dawn Was Already Broken" (my first fanfiction) was removed due to, "Title/Summary not Fiction G rated and not suitable for all audiences" which I find absolutely hilarious considering the smut that plagues this site. At first I was just going to leave a nice note for my fans stating that if they would like to read the story they can go to Twilighted dot net (which is…in my eyes…a much better site anyway), but because I don't believe in censorship and I think that getting an entire story removed based on the premise that it has the word "ass" and "bitch" in the prelude is fucking ridiculous I will be reposting on here to prove a point to the big-bads who think they own the internet and free speech. It will probably take a while to get the entire story back up, but it will get done...because my fans make it worth it. You guys are the reason I published my own books in the first place. I'm not about to let some sissy-pants weenies who get offended (on the internet of all places *le gasp*) take that away from you all.
If I were Leah I would tell the censors to suck my salty taint. However, instead I am calmly and rationally going to tell the douchebags who are big enough to cleanse a whales vajayjay that trying to censor the internet is like trying to stop the Kardashians from being stupid. Ain't gonna happen. There are not enough middle fingers in the world to show how I feel about lame ass rules. Instead, I hope you all have enjoyed my blatant show of disregard for rules that are moronic and enjoy "The Dawn Was Already Broken". Suck it, socialist elite toolbags who control fanfiction. SUCK. IT.
This rant in itself may be enough to get my story deleted again. If that does indeed happen you can still check my stuff out on Twilighted.
Also, I apologize in advance to those people who have subscribed to my updates...because I have to repost the chapters one by one, so if you're subscribed to me you are bound to get a shit-ton of emails regarding my updates. You can thank the infantile internet police for that one.
Was that rant Leah enough? No? How about "go get fucked by an angry bear with a light saber for a penis you controlling titty sucking asshats"? Yeah, that sounds more like Leah. Censor that, dickwads.
If I have offended you...then this story is probably not for you. Enjoy. ;-)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a mad man laughin at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain
You think your life sucks?
The cold air burned my nose as I sprinted through the forest, trying to drown out everything that was bothering me. My life is more complicated than any soap opera that you could find on daytime television today.
I was doing my best to concentrate on anything other than the worthless pile of crap my world has become. Being the only female werewolf in a group of boys just flat out sucks. Especially since I have to see and listen to the one boy who broke my heart every freaking day.
It made me a complete bitch to be around. But at least I can admit that. I had come to understand that it wasn't Sam's fault. But that still didn't make the resentment and anger go away. Somehow, running as a wolf made it a little less painful. I increased my speed, nose to the ground and let the cool wind tussle the fur on my back.
I was almost home now. If you could really call it that. Ever since my dad died, my mother spent most of her time with Charlie or Billy. My brother Seth and I fend for ourselves most of the time. I don't blame her, though. She knows that we would rather have it that way. It was a wolf thing.
I bared down on my teeth when I thought of everything I had given up when I was "chosen" to live this life. It was hard not to think of it as a curse.
God Leah, bitter much? Embry, one of the more zealous members of the pack, overheard my anger.
Shut it, Call.I threatened.
Aw, come on. Don't be sore at me.
You have no clue what it's like…
Oh no? Because I have four legs and a fur coat that begs to differ with you. I know exactly what it's like.
Not THAT, you moron. I thought about the fact that I was the only girl among a group of guys. Not to mention that I was probably going to be alone forever.
I'll make a deal with you. If neither of us has imprinted by the time that Seth gets married, I'll settle down with you.
I had to hold back the angry laughter. Me and Embry Call end up together? Yeah…maybe in an alternate reality. Instead of making me feel better, he had just irritated me further.
He laughed, Come on, lighten up a little.
I thought of a few choice words before phasing back to my human form to let him know exactly how I felt.
I rustled my short dark hair to get some of the dirt out. I grabbed the cord around my ankle that was holding my clothing in place and quickly put them on.
Jacob had been the one who came up with the idea to bind some clothes to us so we wouldn't have to run around naked all the time. Before that, Sam had just shrugged at the nudity issue. Of course, that was before I became part of the pack.
He never said anything specifically, but I could tell he didn't like the other guys ogling me naked. Hell, I didn't like it either, especially since we shared the same thoughts when we were wolves.
When I reached the front door, I could hear Seth chatting away on the phone. I knew my mother was over at Billy's place. With Jacob gone, she and Charlie had been trying to help Billy out around the house. My mom also told me that Billy was lonely without his son around, so she and Charlie were trying to lift his spirits. But Seth didn't sound like he was talking to mom.
As he heard me coming through the door, his voice squeaked and he rushed off the phone. I could tell by the way he hurried his goodbye that it was probably that idiot Bella.
He grinned stupidly at me, "Hey Leah, how was the run?"
I shrugged and grabbed a coke from the refrigerator, "Boring as hell. There's not a whole to do around here anymore. The vampires that are around we can't even fight with."
Even though I did hate being a wolf, the fighting was pretty cool. It definitely helped me get some of my aggression out. Plus, there was absolutely nothing like ripping a bloodsucker limb from limb with your bare teeth.
I saw Seth lower his gaze. The little twerp was hiding something from me.
"What is it?" I asked.
Seth didn't say anything.
"Okay, look…I'm going to hear it sooner or later, so you might as well just tell me now."
"Well…Bella is getting married this weekend…"
"I'll alert the media." I rolled my eyes.
Bella Swan was probably one of the biggest morons I'd ever met. She practically threw herself into a family of vampires and begged them to take her in as one of their own. She was marrying one of the leeches…though I hadn't expected it to be so soon.
Seth ignored me and continued, "I don't know if Sam has told you or not, but some of the Cullens'…relatives…will be in town for the ceremony."
Sam must have conveniently forgotten to mention that to me. He knew what my reaction would be. I didn't have the best temper.
"We should just put up a sign up that says 'welcome all bloodsuckers.'"
"It's only for a few days. It won't be that bad." Seth always had been the optimist in the family.
"No, this will be great. A freakin' vampire orgy." I fell on to the couch, too exhausted to get pissed off right now. Something occurred to me. "Maybe we'll get lucky and one of them will slip up and break the treaty."
With so many vampires coming in for the occasion, all it would take is for one of them to let their bloodlust get the better of them. Then we could attack. The sooner that happened, the better. Then we could just get the damn fight over with. I might die, but why should I care? It's not like I had anything else left to lose.
Seth frowned disapprovingly at me, "You don't always have to be so violent."
"Ha!" I let out a laugh. "Seth…we're werewolves; we're supposed to be violent."
"Not with our friends."
"Those rotten leeches are not my friends." I said in a hostile tone that seemed to shock my brother. I don't know why he looked so surprised. He's known me all my life. Besides, he was the only one of the Quileutes who actually cared for the Cullens. All of the others were just waiting for a breach so we could just kill them and move on with our lives.
Well, all but one. Jacob had chosen to run away instead of face his heartbreak. Couldn't say that I blamed him. I thought about running away several times after Sam imprinted on Emily. But I couldn't bring myself to leave my parents and Seth…no matter how much the kid annoyed me. If it weren't for my family, I would be running just as far away as Jacob had.
Bella had toyed with Jacob's heart when her beloved vampire left her to go to Italy or some shit. I was a little fuzzy on the details. I do know that she led Jacob on for quite some time. And she broke his heart more than once. I can't say that Bella was entirely at fault. Jacob was kind of dumb to get involved with someone who had such strong, happy feelings towards vampires. How anyone could actually like them was beyond me.
My thoughts continued to wander to the only other person who I'm sure hated the Cullens even more than I did.
"I miss Jacob," I frowned.
That didn't sound right. I. Miss. Jacob.Had I really said that?
Seth looked as shocked as I felt.
"You wanna run that by me one more time?"
Jacob Black and I had never really seen eye to eye. We fought all the time. He just annoyed the ever living crap out of me. But, here I was, missing him.
"You tell anyone and I'll kill you." I threatened.
"You know, Leah, it's okay to miss him. I sure do."
"You care too much sometimes."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"When you start caring about someone too much, it hurts even more when they disappoint you."
He continued with the cheery crap, "Not everyone will disappoint you."
"I don't know anyone who hasn't." I shrugged.
I could tell he was waiting for me to admit that he had never let me down. But I wasn't going to lie to him. He'd let me down several times. He was my brother. Siblings fight. I'm sure I hadn't always been the best sister.
After I didn't tell Seth what he wanted to hear, he sat down with a sigh. He tilted his head slightly towards me and looked up at me from the corner of his eyes. He definitely had the "puppy dog" eyes thing down.
"If it helps, I promise to do my best to never let you down in the future."
Leave it to Seth to make me feel like crap, "Look, I'm sorry, kid. I'm just grumpy today."
Seth bellowed a laugh, "And how is that different than any other day?"
I growled through my teeth. We were interrupted by the ringing of the phone.
"I got it!" Seth practically lunged for it, "Hello…oh, hey Quil." He stood up and started pacing around the living room like a nervous Cocker Spaniel, "No, he won't say anything to me either." There was a pause. "I don't know." Another pause. "Sam said what?"
I grumbled as I pushed myself off of the couch. As if it weren't enough to have to see and obey Sam Uley on a daily basis. Psh, I didn't have to subject myself to hearing his name in casual conversations too.
Seth shot me a confused look as I took off towards my room. I slammed the door behind me, uncaring.
I didn't want to be bitter about the whole situation. In fact, I had done my best to support Emily after Sam imprinted on her. I loved them both. Emily and I had grown up together. She was family. And Sam and I spent our entire high school experience in love. Or so I thought.
Then one day he became distant. He ran away. I was terrified that something awful had happened to him. When he did finally return, he was secretive and irritable. I knew he was keeping something from me, but I had no idea what it was. We tried to work it out…then Emily came into the picture.
It was hard for me to think about what transpired next. Mostly because I didn't understand what was going on at the time. I saw him sharing secrets with her that he didn't trust enough with me. Only after I became a werewolf did I understand why he couldn't tell me what was going on.
As much as I wanted to hate the two of them for making me feel so much heartache, I couldn't. Because in the end, it wasn't Sam's fault. And it certainly wasn't Emily's. I could see the adoration they had for one another after Sam lost his temper when Emily was too close.
That was a terrible time for Sam. Emily was really there for him. I knew he felt guilty. I felt bad for Emily, but there was a part of me that was a small bit satisfied that Sam was hurting as much as me. I was a horrible person for feeling that way, and I knew that. Unfortunately, after I had that feeling of contentment, I was overcome by a wave of remorse. It wasn't right for me to be glad when someone else was hurting, especially someone I cared so much for.
So, I promised myself that I wouldn't let them know how much pain I was in. How much pain I'm still in. I've always been very good at hiding what I'm feeling. It was a bit trickier when I was a wolf. It's damn near impossible to hide your thoughts and feelings from your pack. But I masked the sadness with this arrogance that I had come to know quite well.
Reminiscing over everything I had been going through lately, I choked back tears. I wasn't going to cry. I wouldn't give Sam that satisfaction. It was easier to be angry than it was to deal with the pain.
I huffed angrily and drew my fist back. I could feel my temper boiling. Frantically, I looked for a way to release my frustration.
"Damn it." I mumbled. Why did I have to get myself so worked up? I let out an aggravated grunt and flung my fist forward into my wall.
Of course my hand went directly through the thin layer of sheet rock.
"Everything okay in there?" I heard Seth's distant voice.
"Leave me alone, Seth!"
"Leah is punching walls again…" I heard Seth tell Quil on the phone. I heard him shuffle his feet. "Yeah, I don't know. She's probably just upset about all the vampires that will be around this weekend…"
Well, I had Seth fooled. Of course, that wasn't saying much. He was a pretty gullible kid. The real test would be whether or not I could suppress these thoughts later when I was a wolf again.
I kicked some of the dust under my bed and looked for something to cover the hole with. I spotted a wall-calendar that I had yet to put up. It wouldn't fool mom for long, but it would serve as a good cover for at least a week or two. I shrugged and grabbed it off of my dresser.
When I tacked it to the wall, a thin piece of material fell from somewhere inside the calendar. It floated to the ground and grazed my foot. I looked down. It was a picture of my dad, Sam, and I. I must have tucked it inside the calendar and forgotten about it.
I bent down and picked up the piece of paper from my past. The picture was taken back before everything had become so complicated. Back at a time when I knew what happiness was. And now, my dad was gone. And I had lost Sam, too. I saw the difference in who I had been then and who I was now. In the photo, I could see a glimmer of bliss in my eyes. I glanced in the mirror at the hateful cynical person that I was today.
I couldn't bear to let the tears come, so I just toppled backwards on to my bed. I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness. As I focused on slowing my breathing down, I pondered what life might have been like if I hadn't become a werewolf.
If only none of this had ever happened. If only my dad had taken better care of himself. If only Sam and Emily had never met. If only Sam was just like any other normal boy out there. But he wasn't. And I knew exactly who was at fault for the way my life had ended up.