Coming in the Outward Way
A funny little one-shot Willow and Tara fic, where Tara comes out to Willow. Please enjoy, and review, constructive criticism much appreciated.
Disclaimer: The girls ain't mine, I just play. They're the brainchildren of Joss Whedon and co.
I've done the coming out thing three times. The first time was to myself, when I was eleven. I was in the cinema with my then one and only friend Kelsey and we were watching the newly-released Disney epic, The Little Mermaid. Kelsey was easily as shy and timid as me, was very chubby and had black ringlets that framed her rosy cheeks. At the tender age of eleven, I didn't really understand gayness, but I did know that I was different to the other girls. Kelsey kept nudging me, whispering and giggling through handfuls of popcorn about how utterly gorgeous the Prince Eric was. I oohed and aahed, going along with Kelsey's adorations and stuttering my way through some feeble attempts at swooning over the sculpted cartoon prince. All the while, I was thinking just one thing, Goddess Ariel is pretty! It was then that I completely affirmed myself as a lifelong member of those-who-like-girls-and-think-boys-are-pretty-much-yuck club.
The second time I came out was to my high-school 'boyfriend' Tony. Tony was about as cute as geeks came – at least before I met Willow – and he was the only person in the school that was really nice to me. Our comfortable friendship soon blossomed into a kind-of-almost romance, because that was just what was expected. You hung out with a boy long enough, he became your boyfriend right? Well, that made sense in my fifteen-year-old head anyway. It was the night of the school dance and Tony and I had been doing our awkward mouth-mashing-tongue-dance that back then passed for making out, and he had slid his hand up under my shirt. I asked him what he was doing and he dutifully replied, "well isn't this what we're meant to do?" I didn't really know, so I let him go ahead. Neither of us really had our hearts in it. After what just about anyone would call the worst sex anyone has ever had ever, I turned to Tony, who was still wearing his Star-Trek t-shirt, and said,
"T-Tony, I think I'm g-gay."
"Was it that bad?"
"Oh c-come on Tony…"
"Yeah?" I turned to him, covering my bra-clad chest with my arms.
So that was my second time, my one and only disastrous attempt at guy-on-girl sex, with someone who was just as gay as I was.
My third time was to non-other than my father. Let's just say that it was not pleasant. Not in the slightest. He yelled. A lot. I eventually tuned out, stammering my way through a few apologies before leaving the house. I never did speak to him again after that. A few exchanged letters to let him know I'm not dead in a ditch, nothing more.
So I've done it before. Multiple times. Including to the scariest man alive, my father. Why was I so terrified to come out to Willow?
I was sitting in the lounge, sipping a sugary mocha and glancing around the room every few seconds. My foot was bouncing up and down and I could hardly keep still. Willow and I were going to meet here, have lunch, then go to study group together, and I'd decided (though was now beginning to question my motives) that today was the day. I was going to just come out and tell her, Willow I'm gay. Lesbian-gay type homosexual gayness. Overdoing it? Probably. But I swear, never have I been this nervous. I don't know why though. It's not like I like her in that way. Well. I do, but it's just a crush… a tiny, little… I sighed. Who am I kidding? Not even myself. I like Willow. A lot. In a lesbian-gay-type-want-to-kiss-and-cuddle her way. I've never met anyone quite like Willow. She's beautiful, smart beyond belief, a witch, perfect in every way for me. Except for one thing. She's straight. I looked around again, hoping to catch a glimpse of my red-headed vixen. Oh Goddess, did I really just call her that? Kill me now. I caught a glimpse of bright firey red coming through the door and I immediately stood, waving her over. The wicca bounced over brightly, giving me a dazzling smile and hugging me tightly. I hugged her back, running a hand down her back. I could stay like that forever.
"You wanna get lunch?" She said, breaking the hug. "My tummy's all rumbly."
I handed her a mocha. "We'll g-get something to eat in a minute, that is if you s-still want to…"
"Why wouldn't I?" Willow asked, suddenly looking concerned.
"W-Will, I have something I need to tell you, and I haven't really t-told many people this … but you're my friend and you deserve to know, because I trust you more than anyone else. You've saved my life, twice a-and…"
"You're babbling. Tell me what's wrong, please?"
"O-okay, uh, here goes… Oh Goddess, this is scarier than when I told my dad." I took another deep breath, stealing myself for whatever reaction I was about to get.
"Willow, I'm gay."
And that red-headed vixen, you know what she did? She kissed me. Full on the lips.
Willow pulled back, "Oh thank God, I've been waiting for you to say that for weeks!"