Hopefully, this title should look familiar, because it's the title of my first story. :D DO NOT READ IT UNLESS YOU INTEND TO BLEACH YOUR EYES OUT AFTERWARDS FROM THE SHEER HORRIBLENESS OF IT. Yeah, it's pretty terrible, but I can't bring myself to delete the story because I enjoy knowing where I began.

So I've revamped this story into sort of a PWP one-shot j(ust to see if I could, hahaha) and decided to commission it as the first story of a one-shot/drabble compilation!

Heads up, everyone. This is unbeta'd. (Cuz I was too embarrassed to send this to my beta.)

Inspector and Thief

The three Detective Inspectors watched behind the one-way mirror as one of their interrogators tried uselessly to get information out of their most recent arrested criminal. It was easy to tell that the criminal, who currently had his hands cuffed behind his back for good measure as he leisurely balanced his weight on the chair's hind-legs, was in completely control of the conversation with his cheeky replies. The interrogator was becoming more and more upset and consequentially less efficient, if his frenzied, waving arms were anything to go by.

The second tallest of the three, a dashing young man with silver hair and turquoise eyes, sighed heavily.

"Roxas, get Vexen out of there," he said. "This one isn't budging."

Roxas, a blond of petite build, nodded curtly and exited the room.

The lanky redhead detective inspector crossed his arms thoughtfully as Vexen stormed out of the interrogation room. "Riku, this is like, what, the third time we've got this guy in custody?" he asked.

"Yeah, but this is the first time he's actually made it this far into the legal system, Ax," Riku replied, spying a spot on his shiny, black, patent-leather shoes and making a mental note to deal with that later.

"Eh? Really?" Axel looked at him incredulously.

The silver-haired man pulled out a small, neat notebook from his suit, flipped to a page, and began to read. "Sora Hikari. Hair color: brown. Eye color: blue. Estimated height: approximately five foot three. Weight: 125 pounds. Age: approximately twenty. Crimes include: qualified theft estimated to be over fifty million dollars. Additional notes: first time he was picked up, the officers barely sat their asses back down in the car before they realized he was gone. Second time, he managed to stay at the local station for about two hours before he ran off with an officer's car and all the chocolate from the vending machines. Third time..."

"…he screwed up while trying to rob the Land of the Dragons museum," the redhead supplied.

"No," Riku said, turning his turquoise eyes to his co-worker. "He tripped the alarm on purpose."

As Axel blinked in confusion and wonder, the silver-haired man shut his notebook and replaced it in his inner pocket. Riku glanced at his watch. 10:30 PM.

"It's late, Axel," he said a moment later. "You and Roxas take off."

"What? No way!" the redhead protested. "I'm not letting you babysit this kid on your own!"

"I'll be fine," Riku assured him with a smile. "I'm just going to see if I can shake him up a bit. We'll formally start the rest of our investigation in the morning. I know you and Roxas had something special planned. Go. Don't let me spoil your night. Besides, I do my best work on my own. You know that."

Axel was aware that his friend was well-versed in the subtle-but-occasionally-borderline-illegal techniques of interrogation. With a master's in criminal psychology and criminal justice—and a childhood dominated by a dictator-like father—the redhead had seen Riku handle everything with meticulous, near-frightening care. The silver-haired man was never wrong when he got the whiff of a lead and he always got what he wanted out of a criminal.

Biting the inside of his cheek, the redhead nodded. Guiltily and in the back of his mind, he mused that it had been a while since he and Roxas ever got a night to themselves.

"If I get anything promising, I'll let you know," Riku promised.

"Great. Thanks, Riku."

"No problem."

Riku glanced back into the room on the other side and was surprised to find that Sora was grinning right at him. Or at least… that's what he seemed to be doing. This was a one-way mirror. It was impossible for him to know where Riku was standing.

"Ooh!" Sora said excitedly as the door to the interrogation room opened. The brunet kicked his legs playfully. "You coming to chat me up too? Great! At least you're way hotter than the last guy who was here."

Riku said nothing as he pulled a Lysol-infused napkin from a pack and quickly wiped down the chair before seating himself. The thief watched with a raised brow.

"Good evening, Sora," Riku began. "You may call me Inspector Yorushi."

"Can I call you Inspector Sexy, instead?" The brunet winked. "I love a man in uniform." He rocked his shoulders contently.

The silver-haired man suppressed a groan. "Let's just get down to business: where are they?"

"Where are what?" Sora cocked his head to the side curiously.

"The jewels; the Teardrops of the Moon. The ones you stole."

"Guess." The thief grinned.

"I'm in no mood to play games."

Sora looked hurt. His lower lip jutted out into full-on pout. "But then why else would you be here?" he asked.

"I'm going to ask again: where are the jewels?"

"Up my ass." The brunet smirked.

Surprisingly enough, Riku returned the grin. "Very well," he said, rising from his seat.

Sora was perplexed as the detective rose from his seat and removed his jacket and holster. Riku then took a small bottle of hand sanitizer and cleaned his hands with it. "I can see that I have to have to resort to a more… extensive interrogation for low-life, money-grubbing scum like you," the inspector said, rubbing his hands together until the solution dried.

"Hey, I resent that—wait, what are you doing?" Sora involuntarily fidgeted as the detective approached him.

"You have the right to remain silent. Now shut up." The silver-haired man hand was at the brunet's loose denim clasp.

Sora kicked out despite his cheeky behavior before. "Back off, Inspector!" he shouted, straining against his handcuffs. "This is police harassment! I totally invoke my right to the eighth amendment!"

"You stole over fifty million dollars aggregate. You're not entitled to that anymore." Riku dodged a kick aimed at his nose and ducked in-between the brunet's legs.

"You can't decide that! Hey! Don't!" The thief flailed more desperately just as his jeans were nearly ripped off his person.

"There's no one who can hear you. I've asked the rest the officers to give me some privacy, so I intend to be incredibly thorough with my investigation." The silver-haired man hooked his finger at the elastic of Sora's boxers.

"You wouldn't…" the thief challenged, fear glimmering in the back of his eyes.

Riku smirked. "Try me." He tugged his finger down. Sora thrashed, but in minutes the inspector tossed his underwear over his shoulders.

The brunet crossed his legs, trying to give himself some decency, but Riku would have none of that. He grasped the thief's thighs and spread them apart, the action causing Sora to slip lower in the chair.

"This stops when you tell me where you hid the jewels." Riku said, leering over him as he settled in a spot between the brunet's legs. "Otherwise, I'm obligated to follow the only lead you've told me."

The formerly casual blue hues narrowed dangerously and the thief became defiantly silent.

"Suit yourself," the inspector quipped before wetting a finger quickly in his mouth. It was Sora's only warning before Riku shoved the digit inside him.

"Ow!" the thief yelped, his inner muscles instinctively clamping down on the invader. Sora fought hard to control the growing dark-red blush on his cheeks. He would not lose.

A second finger hurriedly joined the first and the two digits groped around the brunet's insides enthusiastically.

"Well, what do you know? It seems you were lying about where the jewels were hidden," Riku commented with a smirk as Sora writhed beneath him. The detective scoffed. "I suppose I shouldn't be completely surprised that a thief would also be a liar." At the last word, Riku's fingers pushed hard into a spot that made Sora's body go rigid and the brunet's breath hitch loudly in his chest with cruel pleasure.

With a completely composed expression, the silver-haired man added a third finger. "I wonder…" he mused while Sora sank his teeth into his lower lip to stifle a groan, "…how should I punish you?"

Riku moved his fingers in slow, tortuous circles before he thrusted them into the brunet's prostate. Sora's back arched into the air and a strangled moan left his lips as the silver-haired man began to pump his fingers into that sweet spot. And he did it again… and again and again and again and again and again until Sora felt that his body was reduced into a squirming, moaning pile of flesh. And just as the thief's entire being was about to tumble over the cliff of his orgasm, Riku's free hand fisted his swollen erection so tightly it was down-right painful.

Sora bucked, his mind temporarily thrown into chaos by the incompleteness. "N-no…" he choked. "So… close."

"I'll let you cum if you tell me the real location of the Teardrops of the Moon," Riku said, his eyes seemed to be glowing in the incandescent light of the interrogation room.

"N-nn…" the brunet managed. "…never."

"As you wish," the inspector replied, curling his fingers into the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Again, Sora twisted uselessly. "P… please…!" He gasped. "Ri... In… Inspector… I need to…"

"Tell me where you've hidden the jewels," Riku's sharp, no-nonsense voice cut through the brunet's weak pleads. "One short sentence is all I need, Sora. Just one."

Sora tried to calm himself, to forcibly gather his scattered wits and pride and ignore the senseless throbbing of his cock. But no matter what un-sexy image he brought up, no matter how much self control he mustered, the thief simply couldn't ignore the merciless fingers inside him. They broke though every mental wall the thief could conjure patiently and brutally because inspector knew that in this battle of wills, Sora would be the one who would lose.

And Riku was right. Like always.

"…th-the jade statue… of the Dragon…" the brunet began. "It's hollow. I put the Teardrops of the Moon in a bag and put it there. Now please…! Please let me come!"

Riku smirked. "Of course," he said and released his hold on the brunet's member. In an instant Sora's stomach was sprayed with his hot seed.

The brunet slumped in his chair, his chest heaving. He hardly had time to catch his breath before his chair was knocked over on its back, banging against his wrist the back of the chair and the floor painfully. But before Sora could even cry out, the chair was kicked from underneath him and his legs pulled wide open. Something hot, hard, and suspiciously non-finger pressed against his exposed entrance—no, the Inspector couldn't really think that he could still…? After he'd just…?

Riku thrusted in. Despite the minimal preparation, the thief took the erection easily. Sora threw his head back and moaned, too lost in the fantastic sensation of being filled to complain about the rushed intrusion. Apparently, the inspector had been holding back all this time because he moved with such ferocity that Sora thought he was going to be split open. Or maybe the silver-haired man had a kink for handcuffs.

Either way, the thief had never felt so good in his life. Even though Sora still felt the aftershocks of his orgasm, his raging erection quickly bounced back. They moved faster, the thief rocking his hips to meet Riku's brutal thrusts. Sora's sweet, unrestrained cries filled the room as the inspector plunged deeper and deeper into him… and then deeper still. The brunet felt the familiar muscles in his lower abdomen and back grow taut, preparing for one, last, blissful spasm.

It all ended with a final cry.


"Hot damn, that was amazing!" Sora piped up as he shot up to a sitting position. "We should do Bad Cop-Handcuff Sex all the time! Riku, do you think this counts as role-playing since technically we're sort of playing ourselves? Hey! Riku!" The brunet glanced at Riku, who was lying on his back still basking in the afterglow of sex, and nudged his hip. "Are you listening to me? Does this count as role-playing? I kinda like this bondage, S&M thing we've got going on. It's kinda sexy when you're being mean to me. Is that masochistic? Oh crap, I think I'm a masochist! Anyway, Riku, we should totally have more sex here!"

The inspector's left eye twitch, an irritating muscle spasm that often flared up whenever he was stressed or annoyed, had started at the beginning of Sora's chatter and was now growing into a full-blown headache. Riku propped up the upper half of his body on one elbow. "You're insane," he muttered. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to have sex at the station?"

The detective turned to Sora, miffed. "And just what the hell were you doing stealing stuff from a museum tonight? I thought we agreed you'd only rob places during the nights I'm not working!"

"Well, some people aren't rich enough to pay their rent," the thief replied, rolling his eyes at his lover.

"That doesn't mean you have to steal for the money!" The silver-haired man groaned. "Can't you get a normal job like everyone else?"

"You mean like bagging groceries at the supermarket? No way!" Sora waved a disapproving hand and looked offended by the very thought. "Can you imagine having sex with someone who has a lame-ass job like that? Fantastic, Riku. I'd bet you'd be dying to tell your tightass father your boyfriend's a grocery-bagger."

"Is a thief supposed to be any better?" Riku smirked, rising from his recumbent position to a sitting up position as his back began to ache. At the small tinkle of cheap metal, the detective glanced at the brunet. "And take those handcuffs off already, Sora. I know you can do it."

"Why?" Sora purred as he lifted his leg high in the air until his foot was behind his ear. "Too sexy for you, baby?"

Riku had just enough self-control to ignore him and rifle through his coat pocket for the brunet's lock-picking kit. The inspector tossed it at him and Sora caught it in mid-air.

"Hurry up and go home," Riku said. "I need to falsify some documents of your escape and erase any evidence that could lead to our relationship."

The brunet pouted. "Fine…" he said. A millisecond later he was spinning the handcuffs around his index finger. Sora slipped away from the chair and pulled his pants up. "But I get to keep the jewels, right?"

"No," Riku answered firmly.

Sora almost choked. "What do you mean 'no'?!" he protested. "I stole them fair and square!"

"I caught you fair and square," Riku grinned, throwing the expression back at the thief's face.

Sora pouted. "Aw, come on, Riku! I got bills to pay! And the man who wants them is a real big mob boss! Like Cut-Off-Your-Pinky-As-A-Sign-Of-Your-Allegiance-To-Me Mob Boss! He'll probably put out a hit on me and I might, like, die! Rikuuuuu!" the brunet whined and put on a very… interesting show of submission as he slid between Riku's leg and rubbed his cheek against the inspector's inner thigh.

The silver-haired man resisted. "No."

…and resisted…

"Stop it, Sora. The answer's no."

…and resisted…

"Don't even… Sora, stop. I…"

…and succumbed.

"Goddammit, fine," Riku gritted out.

"Whoo-hoo!" Sora cheered and kissed his boyfriend happily. "Thank you, baby. I'll make it up to you, I swear! Sure hope your paperwork stuff won't take long..." and then the brunet dropped his voice into a lusty murmur "...'cause I'll be waiting in your bed. Naked. With these." He dangled the handcuffs on his slim index finger, jingled them once, and then disappeared.

It was at that point did Riku really consider speeding up his paperwork.

Riku went through his mental checklist. The tapes had been tampered, last night's security guard had been subtly questioned if he had heard anything unusual last night (he hadn't), and the paperwork had been filed with a shaky, but plausible, lie. Riku's high status and extremely respectable work ethic with cases assured him little scrutiny of his report. Though, the inspector might have exaggerated Sora's prowess a bit (claiming that the brunet had a device that jammed electronics cleverly embedded in his molar and had used Riku's pen to escape was stretching the truth.)

As much as Riku loved Sora's impulsive, energetic, creative ways, the inspector knew that one of these days his boyfriend was going to get him into trouble.

It was a difficult thing for an officer to have a relationship with someone while trying to uphold the law. It was another thing entirely to try to uphold the law and have a relationship with someone who was a convicted criminal.

Honestly, Riku would spent hours at night worrying his fussy silver head over what would happen should the police find out about his partner. And then Sora would slip through the window (the brunet would never enter through Riku's door, claiming that it was a thief's habit) and shake Riku's world apart. Sora was always so devilishly good at doing that—messing up all his meticulous planning, that is. All reason, constants, lines, lists, charts, equations, and textbook theories fell short at the thief's feet. And if Riku didn't love the obnoxious brunet as much as he did, he would hate him.

Tapping his pen precisely four times over and over again, Riku's mind went back to an open case concerning a woman who killed her husband. They had evidence for motive, but they had yet to find the murder weapon. For a moment, he entertained the possibility that Sora was just in one of his impulsive moods when he stated that he wanted more sex at the station.

And then they got a call that the thief Sora had been caught at Wonderland Antiques while trying to steal a priceless expensive doorknob.

"Also, Riku," Roxas (who was among the first responders) began over the phone with an uncomfortable tone, "the thief, he—uh—explicitly asked that you be notified that he would prefer you use pink, sexy handcuffs this time."

Riku nearly smashed his head over his desktop.

'Thieves!' he cursed bitterly.


All right, so I utilized a bit more subtly in this fic, so I hope I didn't fail. Hopefully, Riku's tact and cleanliness (and the mentions of his dictator-like father) hinted that he sort of has this OCD-ish personality, while Sora, likewise, definitely has a laid-back personality. Well... at least that's what I was trying to accomplish.

I really hope you guys enjoyed the part where Riku says "I'm in no mood to play games." And then Sora replies: "But then why else would you be here?" It was a game! A kinky handcuff game! XD I also apologize if there're any discrepancies in the legal systems, or if I used the nouns "detective inspector" and "inspector" incorrectly.

Anyway, thanks to all of you who read this first chapter! I hope that it's enough to entice you to keep checking on my One-Shots and Drabbles Cookie Jar!

- See you next chapter!

|Corrosive Moon|