Hi. I'm sort of new to Castle, so I have no idea where this came from, other than the amaze-balls season finale. This is sort of an alternate ending to that. There's a brief recap of some of the things that happened in the episode, but the point of the story will be more introduced next chapter.
Disclaimer- I don't own anything Castle. Though I do plan to buy a Box set of one of the seasons soon.
Beckett's legs swung over the ledge of the building, the same building she had been hanging onto for dear life only hours earlier. So much had changed. For a moment, she allowed herself to picture falling, to picture that Ryan hadn't saved her. She would be a splat on the ground, dead. The picture seemed more pleasant than the one she faced now.
She didn't want to understand Castles reasoning for lying to her all this time, but she did. She got it now, she would do anything. Anything to have him safe again. She got it now, when it was too late.
Her thoughts nagged her—was it worth it? Was losing him worth it? Her head fell into her hands, she wanted to cry. But the tears never came; she just couldn't bring herself to have a moment to let all her anxiety free. There were too many thoughts ravaging her mind for that.
Was his life worth finding her Mom's killer? She never truly thought about the value of her own life when chasing the killer. Castle did, he saw the value, what she was throwing away. But the situation was reversed now. Who thought about the value of his life? At the time it didn't seem like he was the one in danger. She didn't think that his life would have to be given for her Mother's case. The worst case scenario had always been that she would die.
And now, she didn't care if her Mother's case was ever completely solved, as long as Castle was safe.
She didn't think. He told her to stop and she didn't. She owed him that much, didn't she? She owed it to him to stop and she let him down. And now...she may never see Castle again.
"Because I love you."
The words still rung in Beckett's head long after he left. She had heard them before, been pretending like she had never heard them for too long now. The words were like an annoying bell. A bell that was too loud and too high pitched. She covered her ears, as if that would make the sound fade away. Although, an even louder sound, a more painful one, was entering her consciousness.
"This is over, I'm done," The sound of the door slamming made her flinch.
Those words hurt more, the sound rung deep in her chest like a knife piercing her skin. She didn't have time for this, for the anger, the betrayal, for Richard Castle. She didn't have time for this. She didn't have time to feel, she had to find the killer. She was so close this time, how dare him for getting in her way.
How dare him for trying to stop her, for playing with her life. She would find the killer and she would come out alive. With or without him.
The ring of her cell phone helped distract her from the sound of his voice, still lingering in her mind.
"Beckett," she answered, strong. In control.
It was Espo, "We have a lead."
Kate grabbed the suspect, throwing him to the ground. This one was strong, he didn't go down easily. She pointed her gun to him, finally, she got him. Maybe…Just maybe, she will finish this once and for all. The scar over her heart seemed like it was demanding vengeance. Oh, how much pain has this man, had all of them caused her?
"You're under arr-" the suspect was quick; he quickly knocked her gun right out of her hands before she could react. He took off running. Beckett took a moment to recover, before breaking into a sprint after him. She caught up to him and tried to tackle him from behind, using all her strength to take him down. He easily overtook her, throwing her to the ground, his hands clenched tightly around her neck.
This wasn't the first time he tried to kill Kate Beckett. She just refused to die.
She gasped for air as he threw her. She hit the stone of the roof with a sickening thwack. Beckett's body protested in pain, but still, she got up.
"Please just tell me who is behind this? She begged, her willpower decreasing by the second. The pain in her limbs clouding her mind. She had no gun, how was she going to win this fight?
"You have no idea who you're up against," He said with a menacing grin. That did it, her anger flared. She shot up and charged him. Putting all her weight and strength as she lunged for him.
"Neither do you!" she grabbed at his neck, trying to take him down, but he remained unfazed. He threw her off again, this time it caused Beckett to hit the ground, her body rolling with the momentum. She tried to stop it, but her body flew over the edge of the building. She clawed the ledge for her life. But it was useless; she was slipping, only her fingers holding her up now.
"Actually we know exactly what we are up against" the man said, he smiled at her. Beckett's desperation increased at the message in his eyes. He knew she would fall to her death, the thought pleased him.
"Please, help!" she screamed, she couldn't die now, not like this. Her fingers burned with the burden of holding her weight, she tried to pull herself up, failing miserable as the stone of the building slipped out of her grasp. Leaving her desperately holding on with only one hand.
Not like this, she thought.
For a moment, her mind strayed to words said to her what seemed like a lifetime ago.
"They'll kill you Kate."
She really would die over this case. She should've listened to Castle. Images flashed in her mind, a cold freezer her body on the verge of death with him still there, still trying to tell her not to give up. A flooded car, Castle shooting through her seat belt, freeing her from the jaws of death once again.
Castle, begging her to stop. Begging her to stay with him, that he loved her. He had always been there; every time she was in death's hold he broke her free. For a moment she swore she heard his voice.
"Castle!" she shouted back, praying that he found her in time. "Castle!"
She couldn't hold on any longer. She felt her right hand slipping, in her mind she begged her body to hold on, just a few more seconds. Her fingers were slipping off the edge. In that moment, hands flew out and caught her wrist, she couldn't believe it.
She cheated death yet again.
She was pulled up, so relieved, so thankful that he had saved her yet again. But as she was pulled to safety she was surprised to see that it wasn't Castle. Ryan stood staring at her, a team with him. Gates stood off to the side, glaring at her.
She ignored their stares; she couldn't care less about whatever Gates decided to do to punish her. She had only one thought, one person, on her mind.
"Castle?" she asked, Ryan gave her a questioning look, but he shook his head.
He wasn't here, not this time.
Beckett arrived at Castles door, disappointed that he hadn't answered when she called moments earlier. She prayed he was home, that he would speak to her. He had every right not too, she knew that, but at the moment she needed Castle more than anything. Disregarding his feelings for so long was wrong. She had been so blind, her only focus was solving her Mom's case. Justice, but now everything was different. She needed him in her life, in every way, not just as a partner. He was more important.
She knocked on the door with a new sense of determination. She still had her doubts, what if he was with another woman? What if he didn't want her? Had she hurt him too much already? Did any of those things even matter?
She waited for a few moments before knocking again. And then again, when she still received no answer. Maybe he wasn't home? She put her ear up against the door, hearing nothing.
Maybe he went to a bar or something? With the level of emotion that they both had expressed yesterday, it would be understandable if he went somewhere to blow off steam.
She turned to walk away, but a flash of bright red caught her eye. On the floor in front of Castles door was a few spots of red. Beckett kneeled, analyzing them. Her stomach turned. She had no doubt in her mind that it was blood.
She reached for her gun, but remembered that she had just resigned and turned it in hours earlier. Instead she reached for her phone, making sure she had the precinct's number ready, just in case.
Beckett reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly. She cleared her mind of worry, she had to focus. The door opened silently, she tensed at the sight of overturned furniture and the broken decorations. Immediately, she mentally prepared herself for whatever she might find.
Hesitantly she walked in, slowly exploring the ravaged living room. Maybe Castle had flipped out over their argument and he made a mess? Although, that kind of behavior wasn't something she associated with Castle.
"Castle!" she shouted, waiting for a reply. "Castle!"
She could feel panic rising up in her throat. Could he have been attacked? Taken?
She started dialing, not caring who she was calling. Just knowing that she needed help.
"Hello, hello? Please I need help, my-"
" Beckett?" A familiar voice said in uncertainty.
"Ryan? Please I need your help, I think something happened to Castle," Beckett felt her throat close up as her mind was flooded with images of what could've happened to him.
"Wait, what happened?" Ryan responded, she heard his voice shake slightly on the other side of the line.
"I went to his apartment and I saw blood on the floor. I came in… his place is a mess. Ryan, I think the people who are after me got to Castle."
"I'm on my way, I'll call Espo"
Beckett hung up, fighting panic as she searched for any sign of Castle. She went into the kitchen, her stomach lurching at the sight of a large amount of blood on the floor. She looked away immediately, fighting the overwhelming nausea in her gut. Her gaze fell upon his phone on the counter, he had three missed calls. One from her, another from the precinct and the last one was listed as restricted.
She was careful not to touch anything, not wanting to lose any possible fingerprints on whoever was in here. She wandered over to his office, it looked normal. Though, there was one difference from the last time she saw it, a large Television screen dominated the space, which displayed that it was in the middle of deleting a file.
Putting on a glove, she immediately tapped cancel.
Castle had more secrets than she realized; he had been looking for the sniper all this time. She felt her eyes sting with unshed tears at the thought of him lying awake at night, desperately trying to find the sniper, just as she had. That he did this all for her.
She closed his Kate Beckett murder board, a rock settling in her heart at the thought of adding Richard Castle to the list of people who would die for her.
Thanks for reading!