AN: Just an idea that popped into my head. Tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: Takahashi-san can keep everyone else…but I'd not mind a bit if she were to spontaneously sign over the rights to the men of Inuyasha…not one bit…
Words: 1 662
Inuyasha looked down at his court mark on Kagome's neck with no small amount of pride. He couldn't believe she had agreed to be his; he must have done something right in a past life to deserve this. Or someone up there loved him very much…probably his mother.
Inuyasha tuned back in to what Kagome was saying; something about dogs?
"…and so the people with the most beautiful dogs enter them in a competition to see which are the best looking, best trained, best health. It's pretty boring if you don't have a dog but I've since changed my views on that."
Inuyasha ignored her sidelong glance when Miroku spoke. "Is there any requirement for entering this competition Kagome?"
With a cautionary glance in Inuyasha's direction, Kagome spoke. "Well not really, they check all the dogs first to see if they make the cut but I guess the only real rule would be that only…purebred dogs are allowed; no mixed."
"Keh! Those purebred bastards wouldn't last a day on their own. It's the mutts that are the real dogs…not domesticated embarrassments."
Kagome grinned up at Inuyasha. "Well of course. The mutts have the best of two or more worlds. That makes them genetically stronger, and so much more adorable."
Everyone pointedly chose not to comment on how Inuyasha's chest seemed to increase in size along with the prideful grin on his face.
Just then Kagome closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "Great…here we go…again…"
She was given confused looks by everyone until Inuyasha picked up on the scent of the asshole housing the jewel shards he knew she sensed. "Keh. Wolf Shit's back for another beating."
Shippo muttered to himself as he plopped against Kirara's side. "And it was just getting peaceful too. There goes the neighbourhood."
Kouga came to a stop amongst a whirlwind entrance, greeting everyone accordingly. "Mutt, humans, Kitsune, Firecat, and of course how is my w-w-w-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT KAGOME?"
Inuyasha spoke in her stead with the mother of all smirks on his face. "It's my court mark; like it?"
"HOW COULD YOU FORCE YOURSELF ON-"
Kagome snapped at Kouga before he could even finish his sentence. "Kouga! Inuyasha did not force himself on me. I accepted his proposal because I love him!"
"WHAT? HOW COULD—"
Kagome interrupted him again with her fingers at her temple. "Kouga! Indoor voice!"
He gave her a confused look. "But…we're outside?"
Miroku took in Kagome's rapidly reddening face. "It would be wise to just do what Kagome tells you to. I wouldn't put it past her to stick a subjugation necklace on you. She can do it herself as of a fortnight ago."
Kouga calmed down considerably. "Right. But Kagome how could you choose him over me; a hanyou mutt over a pureblooded wolf youkai? My bloodlines, my breeding, my good looks…and you chose a common dog with…with…with dog ears?"
Shippo rolled his eyes at Kouga. "I'm pretty sure the ears are like…over three quarters the reason she chose him…"
Before Kagome could speak, Inuyasha gave Kouga a superior look. "You're right Kouga. Bloodlines and breeding do matter."
Kouga's face dropped at Inuyasha's uncharacteristic agreement with him, while everyone else was staring at the aforementioned hanyou like he had spouted dog e…er…human ears?
"What do you mean dog shit? What are you trying to pull?"
Inuyasha gave Kouga a cool look, much reminiscent to that of his older brother. "Bloodlines and breeding do matter. And they clearly won out in the end."
"WHAT? But Kagome chose YOU!"
Inuyasha smirked, standing up straight and putting on a regal air. "Quite right. And my breeding is much better than yours could ever hope to be."
"I'M THE SON OF A WOLF LORD OF THE EASTERN LANDS!"
Inuyasha raised a single brow with a calculated look that Kagome found very appealing. "And your mother?"
Kouga huffed with pride. "My mother was a Lady of noble lineage as well."
Inuyasha nodded. "Right; I thought so. It might interest you to know that my half-brother is Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Lands. Yes, that does also mean that I am the second son of the late Lord Inu-no-Taisho of the Western Lands. And my esteemed late mother was the daughter of the Daimyo of the Northern lands; in other words, a princess. So in case your brain can't process all the information I just gave you, here's a breakdown. You're half Lord, half nobility; I'm half Lord, half prince. Actually come to think of it…I should look in on the Northern Lands. Unless something drastic happened since I was pinned to the Goshinboku…I'm the Daimyo. So now tell me who wins according to bloodlines and breeding?"
Kouga started to sputter at that. "But you're…you…you're…YOU DON'T ACT YOUR BREEDING OUT THOUGH!"
Inuyasha raised his brow again. "I don't act my breeding out? Nice grammar Kouga; talk much?"
"WELL YOU DON'T! A real Lord knows to make his intentions known to the woman of his choice! I've been doing that for the last few years, while your ass has been trying to kill me for it! Where were you bloodlines and breeding then mutt?"
Inuyasha sighed and shook his head. "Oh Kouga, Kouga, Kouga…you clearly are not well versed in the art of winning a woman in the ways of the youkai royals…How disappointing of the great Wolf Prince of the East."
Kouga growled; he was practically at his wit's end with this. "What you talking about dog shit?"
The others, who had been all but forgotten were watching the two go at it, when Shippo pointed out something extremely out of place. "Wait, do you guys realize Inuyasha's been talking for the last twenty minutes and he hasn't cussed once? Is he…okay?"
Inuyasha gave Shippo a smirk. "Yes, well I may not show it often but I do know how to act and speak according to my royal status. And as for Kouga's question…I meant exactly what I said. A true blooded royal doesn't go rampaging around telling the lady of his interests that she's "his woman", disregarding everything she says in response unless it's a "yes". A real youkai lord shows his interests in an honourable way, as I've been doing. I provide protection, shelter, food, and defence of Kagome's honour. I've been doing such since practically the day we met."
At this point Kouga was grasping on straws to try and reclaim some of his lost dignity. "You don't defend her honour!"
Inuyasha cocked his head. "Don't I? You run in here claiming she's yours when you know she doesn't want you. I fight with you, not because I like it, but because I have Kagome's honour to defend. She obviously doesn't know what her not disputing your claims will make others think of her…but I do."
Kouga was at a loss for words. "Well…I…I don't have…time…for your puppy tricks dog shit! I'm getting out of here before I acquire your stink! Later!"
And with that, Kouga was off in a cloud of dust.
Inuyasha snorted and turned back to Kagome and the rest of his makeshift "pack", only to find them all staring at him in amazement. "Keh…what the fuck are you idiots staring at?"
Shippo facepalmed. "And he goes from royal to street mutt in zero point five seconds."
Kagome finally found it in her to pick her jaw up off the floor. "Inu…Inuyasha I didn't know you could be so…so…regal…wow…"
Inuyasha gave a huge smirk at the noted hitch in Kagome's breath. "Well you know, I gotta make sure wolf shit knows not to mess with my woman and all."
Kagome gave Inuyasha a slightly embarrassed and confused look. "I thought you told Kouga it was a mark on my honour to be claimed as someone's woman."
Inuyasha grinned at her. "Not when I've done the proper, respectable thing and put my court mark on you. That proves to all demons that my intentions are honourable and you are a lady retaining her honour and virtue. So they better back the fuck off or I'm entirely within my rights to beat them until they can't see straight. So…you like me being regal eh? Sure you don't wanna shack up with Sesshomaru instead? He's so regal, I'm pretty sure our father would be commenting on the stick lodged up his ass if he saw him today. Keh, so much for your purebred dogs winning all those competitions Wench!"
Kagome couldn't bring herself to do anything but stare at Inuyasha with a glazed expression, replaying how incredibly hot he sounded when talking to Kouga in that authoritative, imperial…sexy…damn…there went her brain.
Inuyasha, taking the hint-for once- swept Kagome into his arms bridal style and turned to carry her off into the forest. "Come my lady. Allow me to spend the remainder of this fine afternoon in the presence of your divine beauty whilst we enjoy each other's company."
Watching them walk off, Sango suddenly felt a hand on her rear. Instead of slapping Miroku like she usually did, she simple removed his hand. "You know monk…if you could speak like Inuyasha just did…I'd probably be a lot more receptive. In fact I'm of half a mind to go after them right now and fight Kagome for him…"
Eyes widening, Miroku ran into the forest following the trail he thought Inuyasha took. "Inuyasha! Wait! Can you give me some pointers on speaking like a royal? Please? Come on my friend; help a man of the cloth in his hour of need! Buddha will be good to you if you do! INUYASHA?"
Sango merely rolled her eyes, walking back in the direction of Kaede's village, Shippo on her shoulder making plans.
Miroku may be a moron but he's got a point! I gotta get some tips from Inuyasha on talking all Sesshomaru-y before I see Souten next! I wonder if Kagome will get me bribery Ramen if I ask really nicely…
AN: Tell me what you think!