A/N: Hello! Once again I am very sorry for taking so long to update! College kept me quite busy, but now we are on Christmas break! :) Thank-you all who have kept reading and all of you that have reviewed, favorited, and/or put the story on their alert list! I really do appreciate all of you guys :)

I must warn you that there is a bit of swearing in this chapter!


When Jim woke he couldn't move his arm.

Or his other arm.

Or his legs for that matter.

And he wasn't in his quarters.

Jim looked up to see a fluorescent light glaring at him from above and remembered where he was.

The hospital. He was in the hospital. But for what? The last thing he remembered was Bones sitting down in the chair next to his bed, but Bones wasn't there anymore.

"Bones…." Jim's voice came out as a mere whisper.

"Bones." Jim tried again. Jim was about to call again when he heard the soft padding of feet approaching the bed, and instead of a grumpy doctor staring at him he got the pleasant site of a blond nurse looking quizzically at him.

"Hey there." He may be down but perhaps he could win a nurse over to his side, or rather, on a date.

Jim saw a look of worry on the nurse's face as she approached his bedside and Jim himself became concerned after the nurse visibly kept her distance. She quickly read off the stats on Jim's monitor and quickly excused herself with a barely audible "I'll get Dr. McCoy".

A few minutes passed and apparently the nurse followed through with her intention seeing as how Bones was walking through the door.

"How do you feel, Jim?" Bones looked almost as worried as the nurse.

What was wrong with him? A brief wave of fear swept over the seemingly fearless Jim Kirk. Was he dying? Was he so messed up that people were scared to tell him the truth? Would he never fly again?

Jim spoke up. "What the hell is wrong with me, Bones? You and the nurse both look at me as though I am carrying the plague. What the hell is wrong? And why can't I move!?"

Bones looked concerned, really concerned. "You haven't noticed, Jim? There are restraints on your wrists and ankles."

He hadn't noticed. The thought never occurred to him to look to his side to look at the straps holding him to the hospital bedrails. He felt so exhausted; a little part of him must have innately chalked his lack of movement up to exhaustion, but why was he in restraints in the first place? Jim tugged at the restraints.

"Why exactly do I have restraints, Bones?" He asked as he pulled at the restraints on his ankles.

"You got combative last night. No one could wake you. You were thrashing and yelling for hours, Jim." There was that concerned look again. "The nurses tried to hold you down because you were beginning to hurt yourself with all of your movement. After the first hour I decided to have you restrained so you wouldn't hurt yourself. Around four in the morning you calmed down. You wouldn't wake up. We were scared, Jim."

"I…I'm sorry. I don't remember anything." Jim stared at the ceiling. "I felt fine when I woke up just a bit ago, exhausted, but fine."

Bones gave him a weak smile. "Well, anyways, it seems as though we can take those restraints off now." McCoy quickly got busy with undoing the restraints and was silent throughout the procedure.

"What's wrong, Bones? You always have something to say even if you're just telling me off. Was it really that bad?" Jim stared at the doctor as the he immediately stopped his ministrations.

"You were crying, Jim. Sobbing. Yelling for your mother. We couldn't do anything. I tried to sedate you, but for some damned reason you wouldn't stop." McCoy looked away as he choked out a few last words. "It was bad. Really bad."

Jim couldn't do anything except stare at his chest. He couldn't speak. He almost felt sick with guilt. They saw a side of Jim that he thought only he could see. It was painful for Jim to relive the memories of his childhood, but over the years, and over the thousands of drinks, he could handle it. He could put a cap on his pain and put on a smile. Some wounds had finally scarred over. No one should have seen his pain.

No one.

He was ashamed. Ashamed that he made others scared for him. Ashamed that he made Bones worry. Ashamed that others were there to witness the reliving of his memories.

A warm hand was on his shoulder. Jim looked up to see McCoy staring down at him.

Bone's voice was soft. "I don't think that I want to know what was going on in that head of yours, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know I can be a jerk sometimes, but if you need help, Jim, I'm here or I can refer you to someone if you'd like."

Jim glanced back up. "I'll be fine, Bones. Really."

McCoy gave Jim something close to a look of pity and began to walk out of the room.

"Hey, Bones?"

Leonard stopped and turned around to face his patient. "Yeah, Jim?"

"What was the name of that nurse that was in here earlier?" Put a cap on it, smile, and ease the pain.

"Christine. But don't you dare go and bother her with your 'charm', Jim. Otherwise I'll put you in this hospital myself and I will ensure that as many hypos are used as possible." McCoy stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm not that bad of a person!" Jim pouted.

"My staff is off limits. You don't want an angry ex-girlfriend administering hypos and ensuring your safety and health, do you Jim?" McCoy crossed his arms.

"You're bad enough, Bones." Jim chuckled.

"Without me you'd be knocking on death's door! And I thought I told you to not call me Bones. I have a name you know." McCoy gave Jim a flat look.

"Yes, Dr. McCoy." Jim saluted him.

"Incorrigible fool." McCoy began walking again.

"Hey, Bones?"

"What now?" McCoy looked sternly at Jim.

Jim looked at the floor while he spoke. "Thanks…for everything."

McCoy gave Jim a nod and walked out of the room.

Damn, Leonard shook his head.

He cared.


A/N: Please do review! What do you think about the whole "caring" business? It seems to be pretty recurrent, so should I continue on with that or is it getting to be too much? I enjoy getting feedback whether it is positive or negative and want to know what I can do to make the story better, just tell me what you think :). Also, Merry Christmas to you all!