A/N: Greetings mortals! Long time no…er…read…yeah. Anyway! I can't quite remember whose suggestion it was,
Rhea: No, no, no, no, no, no!
But someone suggested we shove the Titans into some horror game.
Rhea: I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA!
Which, inevitably, means the Author is going too.
The game she originally picked was stupid. So I picked out another one.
Rhea: GET ME OUT OF HERE!-!-!
I decided to pick the scariest game ever. At least for you humans. Personally I'm not sure what all the fuss is about but popular opinion is pretty clear on this point.
And so, without further ado!
Rhea: INCLUDE THE FURTHER ADO! INCLUDE IT!-!-!
I bring you…
"Whoa! Who turned off the lights? Hello?"
"Oh, hey Cyborg. Thanks for the light. Um…where are we?" Beast Boy asked.
"No idea. Huh, my flashlight doesn't seem to be working too well." He tapped it a few times. It flickered but refused to shine any brighter. Oh well, it was enough to see that they were…where, exactly? It looked like some sort of forest. There was a chain-link fence behind them, and the ground was covered in dry leaves that caused their footsteps to emit loud crunching sounds. "Weird. How did we get here?"
"I dunno. One minute I'm playing Mega Monkeys and now we're here."
"Something's jamming my signal. I can't get anything. Looks like we're on our own. Let's look around and see what we can find out."
The two of them started walking through the odd woods. Beast Boy turned into a dog in order to sniff around but came up with…nothing. That was actually a bit worrying. "Dude, do you hear that?"
"Hear what? I don't hear anything but you, Man."
"Exactly. There should be birds, owls and such. All I'm hearing are crickets, and I'm not sure I believe them."
"You don't believe in crickets?"
"No, I mean, the chirping is too regular and it's coming from everywhere, not from any specific place like it should. And it's only one cricket too."
The chirping stopped. So did the two Titans.
"Okay, something's going on here," Cyborg stated.
"What's that down there?" Beast Boy asked.
"Looks like some sort of big red column."
"Let's check it out."
They did so.
"Oh my god, a giant rock!" Beast Boy exclaimed.
"Shut up. Hey, what's that?" Cyborg reached out and took the piece of what looked like notebook paper that had been taped to the column. It had what looked to be trees on it drawn with a black marker or pen. "Why the heck would someone put this up here in the middle of nowhere?" he demanded.
"Is it just me or does it look like one of those trees is actually—whoa, what's that sound?"
"That sort of bum, bum, bum, noise. It's pretty faint. Can't you hear it?"
"I can now. Can you figure out where it's coming from?"
"Same place as that fake cricket: Everywhere."
"Great. Well this isn't getting us anywhere," Cyborg said. He put the note back on the pillar. "Let's—huh?" The thumping had suddenly stopped. Not only that, but it ended in that odd zipping noise that is usually meant to indicate a 'WTF?' pause.
The two looked at one another. Then Cyborg grabbed the note and pulled it off the pillar again. The thumping started up again. He put it back. The thumping stopped. He took it off. Yep, there was the thumping. He put it back. And it stopped. He plucked it off. 'Bum, bum, bum.' he put it ba—
"STOP DOING THAT!" shouted an apparition, erupting from the darkness like a demon from the bowels of a hell with a very formal dress code.
Nightwing looked around but all he got from his eyes was a vague impression of treeishness in the area. He thought he'd heard a scream but he wasn't sure. Where was he? It was pretty dark but he could see stars overhead. He was about to tap a button on his mask to turn on his night vision when he saw a small light over to his right. "Cyborg? Is that you?" His response was a shrike that was way too high-pitched for Cyborg. Beast Boy, maybe, but not Cyborg.
"Who's there?-!" Nightwing squinted when the light was shone directly into his eyes. "Nightwing!" The light was removed, revealing the author. She was wide-eyed and looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She had a flashlight in her hands but it didn't illuminate very much. There was something oppressive about the darkness around them.
"Oh, it's you. Where are we?"
"Deep trouble and heading downwards. What was that?-!" she exclaimed, spinning around with the flashlight weaving about wildly.
"That was me. I stepped on a tree branch. Why are you so jumpy?"
"Because we're in a bad-bad place and we're going to die!" she squeaked, shaking badly. "Whatever you do, don't pick up any of the pages!" she told him.
She shone her light onto the trunk of a particularly large tree where a piece of paper had been taped. It had a sketch of a vaguely humanoid figure with the words 'no, no, no, no, no' written in several times downwards. "Those pages. He shows up when you take one so whatever you do don't touch those notes."
"He? He who?"
"I say we find one of the trucks that's in the area and get the crap outta here!" she suggested.
"Can't you fly?"
"How many times do I have to tell you people that I don't have any special self-insert powers?-!" she exclaimed.
"But you're a dragon! I thought it was a natural ability specific to your race," Nightwing pointed out.
The author paused. "Huh…well I can't. It's not part of the gameplay. Neither is the ability to use either of the trucks but I say we try it anyway!" she declared.
"Alright, so where are the trucks?"
"Don't you know?"
"To be honest, I never actually played the game. I just watched YouTube videos of other people playing it so I could be glad it wasn't me."
Nightwing slapped himself in the face. Then he looked around. "There's that sound again," he said, hearing a 'bum, bum, bum' that seemed to be coming from everywhere. "It was going off and on some time ag—what?" he asked, seeing the author's face.
"SOMEONE GRABED ONE OF THE PAGES!" she screamed. She grabbed his arm and started running. "Run away! Run away!"
The rows of columns weren't much to look at and Raven wasn't entirely sure what they were supposed to be. It seemed to her that the whole point of these columns was to stand there so people could tape up their posters or amateur attempts at German Expressionist art. There was only one, and the caption read, "Always watches. No Eyes." She took it off the pillar so she could get a better look and then she put it into one of her sub-space pockets. Well, at least this vandal was considerate enough to plaster something that could be easily taken back down. Maybe they ran out of spray paint.
What was that thumping sound? She looked around. For a moment she thought she saw some kind of figure in the distance but it vanished when she blinked. Must have been her imagination. She decided to start looking for the others.
"Raven! Raven can you hear me?"
Observe the priorities.
"I am beginning to doubt the usefulness of calling out like this," Rorek put forward. "It seems to me that this place, wherever it is, muffles the sound. I do not think our voices are carrying very far."
"It is very dark," Starfire said nervously. Rorek's light spell wasn't providing very much illumination. "I wonder what that strange bumping noise is."
"I wish I knew how we got here," Rorek mused. "Why is there a piece of paper with the word 'Follows' on that small building there?"
"I don't know," Starfire answered, pulling it off. She looked around. "Do you hear that?"
"What is that?" Rorek wondered. There was another sound now. "Let us continue our search."
"What kind of bathroom doesn't have any toilets!-?" Red X demanded.
"There are chairs," Malchior pointed out.
"Not helpful! Gah! This is so pointless! And why is the only graffiti on a piece of paper? I mean, what's the point of that? Someone could just walk over and take it right off like so. Honestly, some people just don't think."
"What are you doing with that marker?"
"Showing them how you're supposed to graffiti bathrooms."
"I thought you had a rather pressing issue to take care of."
"Oh…right…I guess there's always the forest." Red X walked out a ways, found a tree, and took care of said pressing issue.
Someone was watching him. Someone who didn't have a face.
"Dude! Do you mind?" he demanded.
"Oh, sorry." The tall figure scuttled away. "Don't mind me."
"Is it the battery?"
"Power steering fluid?"
"Why would that effect the engine?"
"Search me. I don't know anything about cars. I'm just spouting out random car mechanics stuff that I've heard on the fly. So why won't it start up?"
"Oh…yep, that'd do it."
"I can hear a third sound now. Got any more ideas?"
"Yep, curl up into the fetal position and cry for our mothers."
"Anything more productive?"
"We could run screaming through the woods with our arms flailing about over our heads."
"How would that help?"
"It'd make me feel better."
Nightwing sighed. "Alright, look, there are some tanks or something off that way. Let's go see if they've got any gas in them." Nightwing closed the hood of the truck and started walking.
"Wait! Don't leave me!" the author called, taking her seat belt off.
From the back seat of the tank truck there came a voice: "Hey guys. What'cha doing?"
"AAAAAAAAAAH!-!-! RUN FOR IT!-!-!" the author screamed.
"It was just a simple question…"
Raven was trying to figure out what the point of all these big tanks was (besides a second place for people to post up another page of their odd creepy drawings, of course) when the author ran by screaming. She might not have cared, but she had Nightwing in tow so she ran after them. "Nightwing! What's going on?" she called out.
There was what looked to be a rest area of some sort off in the distance. They ran for it but the author stopped abruptly before entering.
"What? What's wrong?" Nightwing asked.
"That's a death trap. You don't want to go in there unless it's the first page you grab." the author answered.
"Hey guys!" called a voice behind them.
"We'll just run right through we'll just go right through in one way out the other LET'S GO!" she shouted, running like mad with her flashlight held resolutely in front of her.
Nightwing and Raven looked at one another, looked at the figure behind them, and decided to follow very, very swiftly.
"Run like a boss, run like a boss, run like a b—oof!" she slammed into something that felt like a rather narrow brick wall and fell backwards.
Malchior looked down at the author. "You? Oh good, where are we? And where's—oh, there you are," he said, spotting Raven.
"There's something weird chasing us. Are you able to fly?" Raven asked.
"Nope. And X's teleporter belt isn't working either."
"Red X is here too? Where is he?" Nightwing asked.
"Right here. Dang, Wonder Boy, when you built this suit you weren't thinking too much about bathroom necessities were you? It's not exactly easy to perform one's ablutions in this thing," Red X said, adjusting his belt as he strode towards them.
Another layer of sound was suddenly added to the odd background.
The author screamed. "WHO KEEPS PICKING UP THE PAGES?-!"
"Pages?" Raven asked.
"Apparently this thing, whatever it is, doesn't like us picking up these pieces of paper with drawing on them and starts chasing people when you do," Nightwing translated.
"Er…you mean…um…these bits of removable graffiti?" Red X asked, producing one such page.
"WHY WOULD YOU JUST PICK THAT UP YOU EFFING IDIOT GO PUT IT BACK RIGHT NOW—OH CRAP!"
"Hey guys! Can I be in the fanfic?" called the thing that was now in the bathrooms behind them.
"RUN FOR IT!"
"Uh, why?" Malchior asked. But Raven was following the author so he wasn't about to stay behind.
"There is another of these strange papers," Starfire said, picking it up off the wall. It said 'Leave me alone'.
"Why are these walls out here in the middle of a forest?" Rorek wondered. "I mean, I might understand if they were once part of some dwelling that was torn down, but these walls look to be in quite good condition and I see no evidence that there was once any other part to the building. One would at least expect to find some sort of paved ground, surely."
"Let us move on," Starfire suggested. "I do not like the creepiness."
"I see another light!" Red X announced.
"Cyborg? Is that you?" Nightwing called.
"Nightwing!" Starfire cheered as she and Rorek came into view with Rorek's light spell leading the way.
"Oh good, now we just have to find Cyborg and Beast Boy," Nightwing said.
"Yeah, then we can all die together!" the author said with mock cheerfulness.
The author screamed and leapt into Red X's arms. He dropped her. "No," he said flatly.
"Alright, look, what are you and what do you want?" Malchior demanded.
"I am the Slender Man and I found this wallet on the ground. Does it belong to any of you?" he asked, waving said wallet, which was being held in a tentacle of some kind.
"Oh hey, that's mine. Thanks!" Red X said.
"No problem. Also, I have a question for the author." he said.
The author whimpered. "Y-y-yes?" she squeaked.
"Can I be in the fanfic?"
"I would like to be in the fanfic."
"Y-y-yeah, s-sure! Whatever you want!"
"Awesome. Can I be a glang?"
"I would like to be a glang."
"I like the sound of the word."
"B-b-b-but the-the glang are these l-little things that are all-all-all—"
"You can say I am a different type of glang."
"Yeah! Okay! S-sure! That'll work!"
"Yay! See you later." And he was gone.
"That wasn't all that scary," Nightwing observed.
"I think the author disagrees." Malchior said, pointing down at said author who was curled into a fetal position and crying for her mother.
"Where are Cyborg and Beast Boy, though?" Starfire asked.
"Oh I killed them. Sorry about that. They were being very annoying," Slender Man answered, making a brief last appearance before disappearing again.
"Aw crap," said Red X.
"We're going to have to get Iron Man to fill in for Cyborg again until the author revives them, aren't we?" Raven asked.
"But who will fill in for Beast Boy?" Rorek questioned.
"No, no, no, no, no! It's, 'dude' and 'tofu' and stuff like that. Also you play video games. Here, give it a shot."
"Uh, oops. Well video game controllers aren't that expensive…um, we'll work up to it, shall we?"
"Halo 4 is coming out?-! WHEN?-!" Tony Stark demanded.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!
Rhea: (Babbling in incoherent fear)
She's fine. She'll get over it. Later mortals! Oh, yeah, and review or something I guess.