I don't want you to be scared that I'm sending you a letter back and think I'm strange, I'm not going to come and find you, I just needed to know if you'd listen to me like I listened to you for all that time. Because Charlie, I really need it.
I needed you to know you're the most beautiful human being I've ever had the pleasure to hear from. All the others come to me, but you were different. You're unique, kind and something I'm not used to. Beauty in the form of a young boy is hard to come by. I envy you, I really do.
All the things you've told me opened my eyes. Everything is different now, and I owe it to you my friend. I wish I could have met you in person though, I'd love to talk to you and know who you are, but I know you wouldn't want that.
And I understand completely.
The reason I decided to write you was simple, I'm trying to get some things straight. I've been having problems with everything lately. My personal life, my school life, everything. I can't seem to do anything right. My friends all humor me and use me. I get picked on a lot for how I look, which has caused me a lot of pain. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm dying slowly. Through the year that you wrote me, I was struggling with something. I'm bulimic. I don't want to go into too much detail with it. But it's hurting a lot and I don't know how to exactly stop. I'm sorry if you're dissapointed with me, because I am too.
I guess I just let people get to me, and it too me on a different path. But I want you to know that I was never upset with you about the decisions you made. Because I know you tried.
You did your best.
Last week, I was in the library and came across a band in the music section. The bands name was Death Cab for Cutie and apon listening to a track from their one album called "Transatlanticism," I thought of you. The tracks name is Passenger seat, and I really think you would like it.
Here's some lyrics from the beginning-
"I roll the window down,
And then begin to breathe.
An old country road,
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as
You are driving me home."
I hope you do realize how much you mean to me, even though you barely know me. I also hope you know I'm still here if you need me. Even if you feel low, you can always still write me. This letter makes me sound so pathetic, but Charlie, you're the best friend I never got to know too well. Please don't change.
I'm going to leave you alone now, since I have to go take a shower and I'm leaving tomorrow for a trip. I don't know exactly if I'll be able to write you again.