Not Quite a Daddy
Summary: Xander learns that Faith was pregnant with his child when Buffy stabbed her.
Timeline: right after after season 3.
Warning: This isn't meant to be a bash fic. Sorry if it somehow comes off that way.
A/N: Changing canon just a smidge. You'll see how pretty quick.
Thanks to my betas: just chatting with JacobPhoenix, but no real betaing.
Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
The day before Xander left on his trip…
Buffy strolled into her Watcher's apartment with her best friends. He had called them all over for some news of vital importance or something. Why couldn't important news happen on rainy days? It was perfect beach weather they were wasting and it was the last day they had with Xander. His trip got pushed back a couple weeks when Giles insisted that the car get checked out and it ended up needing repairs. Tomorrow Xander was taking off.
"What's the what, Watcher-mine?" she chirped.
Mentally rolling his eyes at her flippancy, Giles chose to clear his throat while he gestured for them to sit down. "Faith has died," he announced bluntly once they were comfortable. The reactions were about what he'd expect: guilt on Buffy's face, a glimmer of…not glee – maybe approval? – mixed with huge relief on Willow and Xander's faces, and Oz was inscrutable as ever.
Continuing on before they could say anything, he added, "The hospital gave me a package after I went down to take care of the paperwork. Apparently, the Mayor left me as an emergency contact for Faith in the event his Ascension didn't go as he planned."
Buffy narrowed her eyes. Stuff from the big bads was stuff to be leery of. "Is it safe? Did you open it or anything? What-?" she started peppering him with questions.
"It is safe," Giles assured his Slayer immediately. "It's simply a videotape and a few sheets of paper. I've watched the tape and believe that it has news you all should see."
"News?" Willow piped up nervously. "What kind of news?" Like Buffy's thoughts about the package, Willow thought that news from the Mayor couldn't be good.
"Rather than tell you, I'll just let you watch," Giles insisted. After pressing play, he moved to a position where he could console either Buffy or Xander should they need it.
The four youths sat in stunned silence as the Mayor congratulated them on their victory, ignoring the hateful look he shot at Buffy as he said it. Then the man/demon/whatever-he-was went on, "Alexander…may I call you Xander? While I do not approve of your intimate relations with my girl – since you didn't have the decency to marry her first; kids today…thinking with their hormones and not their morals… But I digress. That night resulted in a child; a child that your friend and hero, Buffy Summers, ruthlessly murdered when she stabbed Faith in the stomach! Since I obviously didn't get my vengeance for that deed – or maybe I did and turned out to be allergic to that Slayer's blood – I leave it in your hands to do the right thing." Then the screen went dark.
Buffy was crying in horror at what she had done, while Xander simply looked frozen in place. Willow and Giles were at a loss as to who to help until Xander said anything.
Oz took it upon himself to break the tableau by nudging Xander. "Hey, man, sorry. That's tough."
Blinking several times, Xander looked at the others and let out a sharp sigh.
Before he could say anything, Buffy quickly knelt down in front of him and started babbling apologies, "Oh, Xander…I'm so sorry. I didn't know and-"
He cut her off with a sharp, "Buffy!" When she stopped, he took a deep breath and went on, "I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like a jerk, but it's not a big deal. One, how do we know the Mayor isn't lying just to cause problems?"
"There's a paternity test with the tape," Giles replied, handing over the medical papers. They all read the papers and waited for Xander's next words.
"Yeah, and there's no guarantee that this is real either," Xander persisted, dismissing the official-looking papers. "But for the sake of argument, let's say it is. Buffy obviously didn't know about the pregnancy when she fought Faith. Hell, I didn't know about it. 'B'…Faith was evil! Like with a capital 'E'! She'd already tried to kill both me and Willow, so kinda finding it hard to cry over Buffy going after her when she tried to kill Angel. How stupid was that? Even I've learned not to get between those two."
He paused for another breath, then continued, "Anyway, three…I am 18 years old! There's no way I'm ready to be a dad right now. Even if I was, this is so completely not the way I'd want one! I mean, what am I supposed to tell the kid when they get older and ask about how they were conceived or why their mom isn't around? 'Sorry, kid, but after your mom kicked me out of her bed, she tried to kill me and a bunch of my friends because we were standing in the way of her new boss' plans to rule the world.' He or she would need therapy forever. Heck, it'd make my childhood look like a day at the amusement park."
"So you really don't hate me?" Buffy sniffed worriedly as she chewed on her lower lip.
"Sorry, Buff, but it'd take a lot more than a wild story that's possibly a lie by a former enemy to make me turn my back on you," Xander answered with a grin. His face shifted into a mock-leer and he added, "Of course, if you want to make it up to me, we can always try for our own kid." The fact that he started laughing before he finished his sentence made it clear to everyone that he was only joking.
"Only if you feel like changing the diapers and doing the 2 am feedings – seeing as how I'd probably be out on patrol at that time," Buffy shot back with her own smile. That started them all on a wild tangent about the baby.
Giles watched the teens talk about the different jobs they'd each take with this imaginary child and breathed a sigh of relief. Whether the story was true or not, the Mayor's attempt to drive them apart failed. That was always cause for celebration…and maybe a couple pizzas and some jellies.
A/N: Just annoyed after reading a couple stories where Xander goes crazy on Buffy. Hopefully this is a more realistic Xander response.