I stood in the kitchen, clearing the things off the breakfast bar.
"Leave it. Gail can do that, Ana." Christian said, sitting across the counter from me. I shook my head at him, which made him narrow his eyes.
"There's no need. I can do it." I assured him. I placed the dishes in the sink, and turned the water on.
"My palm is twitching, Ms. Steele." He muttered. I turned to look at him, rolling my eyes at him. He growled, and was on his feet, walking around the breakfast bar towards me. I quickly turned, protecting my behind by pressing it up against the cabinets and counter. He chuckled. "Scared?"
"Of your twitchy palm? Any smart human would be." I teased. He smirked. "Are you smirking at me, Mr. Grey?"
"I believe I am, Anastasia." He said, smartly. I giggled as he took my head in his hands, and pressed his lips to mine. I lost myself in the kiss, reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his already messy hair. He picked me up, setting me on the counter so he had to reach up to kiss me instead of the other way around. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him close to me. The burning in the bottom of my stomach was spreading all over my body now. I slowly placed my hand over his chest, causing him to stiffen for a split second, before he relaxed slightly, and moaned against my mouth. He finally pulled away from me, and placed his hand over mine on my chest.
"Do you trust me?" He asked. I sighed, feeling like we'd been over this a trillion times. Regardless, I had a feeling I knew where this was going.
"With everything." I murmured, staring deep into his grey eyes. "You know that." He nodded once, pulling me out of the kitchen, and down the hallway. He stopped in front of the playroom door, and opened it allowing me to walk in. I'll admit, I was kind of worried. We hadn't been in here since his birthday. He wanted to try something new and that always made me worry.
"If I ask you to try something new with me, would you do it?"
"Is it going to hurt me?" I murmured. He smiled, but there was something dark deep in his eyes. My heart beat was starting to pick up as the anticipation killed me.
"No, Ms. Steele. This will ensure your safety." He promised.
"What is it you want to try?" I murmured, walking over to him and stopping in front of him, taking his hands in mine. My subconscious was awake now, and was listening attentively, pacing as we waited.
"Promise me first… because I really need this." He said. My subconscious froze. She was now terrified. I took a deep breath. If he needed it, I felt I had to do it and for him, I would. I loved him that much, that I'd do whatever it was he needed. He was my future, and regardless of his fifty shades I'd do anything for him.
"I promise, Christian." I whispered softly, reaching up and touching his face. He leaned his face over into my hand, closing his eyes. "Now, what is it you want to try?" He pulled me into his arms, and held me for a moment before kissing my hair.
"I want to be your submissive." He murmured. I quickly released him, and took two steps back. His face drained.
"You want to be my what?" I asked, my eyes wide. My subconscious was smirking like the Cheshire cat, rubbing her hands together, but I wasn't sure I could do this.
"I want to be your submissive, Anastasia. I want to show you how much I trust you, and how much you own me, body and soul. I want to try this with you." He murmured. My jaw was probably on the floor now, because I could see he was very serious about this, and my dumb ass had already agreed to do it.
"But you… you're a dominant. I'm the submissive… this is wrong, I don't think I can." I murmured. He closed the distance between us, and took my face in his hands.
"You can do this. Ana, you are one of the strongest women I know, and if anyone can do this, it's you. I feel that I need to do this for you… for me. I need to show you, I need you to know how much you mean to me." He murmured.
"I believe you, Christian. I honestly do. I know how much you trust me, how much you love me. I honestly believe you, but please don't make me do this. I don't think I can." I admitted. My subconscious was screaming at me not to be a pussy, but I couldn't think of doing things like that to him. Tying him up, hitting him, putting him through some kind of sadistic torture. I didn't mind when he did it to me, but changing roles? It just didn't seem right. After everything that had happened with our Sub/Dom relationship, it just didn't seem like something we should do.
"Please, Ana. I would never ask this of you if I didn't think you and I wouldn't get some kind of satisfaction out of it. Maybe, if you try it you'll understand what it's like being a dominant. Why it appeals to me so much." He murmured.
"I don't want to know." I whispered, my voice barely audible. All I kept thinking about is the looks he'd give me when we were in here for the first time. How I was nothing, I was a toy, something to bring him pleasure and that was it. It was how I felt for awhile with him, until things started changing. He started changing. I didn't want to do this.
"I need this, Ana. Just once… it's all I'm asking of you. If you so choose, I'll never make you do it again. Just for tonight, please." I stared at him, seeing the longing in his eyes.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I feel I owe this to you." He murmured softly, touching my face. I flinched.
"You don't. If anything, I owe you. I should let you tie me up and whip me, or suspend me from the ceiling after all you've done for me." I said. His eyes twinkled slightly at the mention of whipping and suspending me, but that quickly fizzled out. It was replaced by the longing in his eyes, he wanted this and he wanted this bad.
"Please, Anastasia." He purred.
"There isn't a submissive bone in your body." I told him, giving him a slight smile. His lips twitched and turned up at the corners.
"I promise to be putty in your hands Ms. Steele." He assured me. I sighed. I could see how much he wanted to do this, so I had no choice. After all, I promised I'd try. Keyword: Try.
"Alright, I'll try but if I decided that I can't or don't want to do this anymore… it's going to stop, okay?" I whispered.
"You know I'd never force you to continue if you didn't like it. I have a feeling, you're not going to dislike it though, Ms. Steele. I know how much you like control." He murmured, voice seductive. I raised an eyebrow at him. He winked at me, causing me to roll my eyes. I watched his hand twitch. I took a swift step back, and pointed at him.
"Remember who the submissive is in here tonight." I said, demandingly but keeping the teasing demeanor in my voice. He nodded once.
"You're correct, Ms. Steele." He said, putting his hands up in surrender. "Now, what is it you're going to do with me?"
"Hmmm… I haven't quite decided yet." I said, looking around the room. There was so much to choose from, so much I could do, but had no idea where to even start. "Why don't you go change into those super sexy holey jeans you normally wear in here? I'd like to be the one to take those off of you." I told him. He gave me a full on smile. "Meet me back in here in five minutes?" He nodded, and walked out of the room. I decided the bed would be the best place to go. I'd shackle him to it, and go from there. Maybe blindfold him, so he couldn't see or touch me. I'd give him a taste of his own medicine. I hated not being able to touch him. I'm still barely allowed now, but it's better than nothing. I walked around the room, running my hands over everything, thinking of what I could do, how I should go about this. I heard the door open, and looked up to see him closing the door behind him. He was now in his holey jeans and his button down navy blue shirt that he'd worn to the office today. I smirked at him.
"Are you smirking at me, Ms. Steele?" He asked. I narrowed my eyes at him, realizing I was probably going to have a lot more fun with this than I'd honestly expected to. I was enjoying myself already but was sure that the price would come later.
"Did I give you permission to speak?" I asked. He automatically averted his eyes to the floor, not speaking again. I giggled. "This is fun." I murmured. I saw his frame shake as he laughed.
"I knew you'd enjoy it." He whispered.
"Mr. Grey… don't make me have to spank you." I teased, promise in my voice even though I didn't think I could actually spank him. "I told you that you didn't have a submissive bone in your body." I told him, walking over to him and pulling his face up to look at me. "You can speak."
"I'm trying, Ms. Steele. The same as you did the first few times I brought you in here."
"Alright, well… I think I'm going to go get a glass of wine before we continue on this endeavor, and I feel that a change of clothes is necessary. Would you like a glass of wine?" I asked. He nodded once. "I'll bring you a glass. For now, you can have a seat on the edge of the bed… don't move from there." He smirked and nodded, walking to the bed and sitting down on the edge. I winked at him, before turning and walking out of the door. I ran to our room, slipping on some of the silky lingerie that was in the closet. Something that would make him want to touch me, but he couldn't. I picked the white lacey one, and slipped it on, putting on one of the short silk robes, and walking into the kitchen. I poured us both a glass of wine, and started back for the playroom. It was then; I remembered something and walked back to the freezer, opening it. At the bottom, was a tub of chocolate ice cream. I smirked and pulled it out, wrapping a dishtowel around it and a spoon, before carrying it all back to the playroom. When I walked in, I sat the ice cream down on the table beside the door, making sure he had no idea what it was.
"What is-." He started, but I turned to look at him, causing him to instantly stop. I smirked at him, before shaking my head.
"Nothing you need to be concerned with at this moment, Mr. Grey." I told him, carrying him his glass of wine. "You can speak." I said, touching his face.
"Thank you." I nodded once. He looked up at me, prompting me to let him speak. I nodded once. "You are all too good at this, if I do say so myself."
"You're not." I said, chuckling. He pretended to wince, like my words were hurtful, but smirked at me. When he finished his wine, I took the glass from him, carrying it back to the table and setting it down by the tub of ice cream. I turned back to him. "Stand up." I murmured. He instantly stood. I met his grey eyes as they clouded over in amusement and lust. "I'm going to take your clothes off now… understand?" He nodded once, smirking at me. I reached up slowly, hesitantly. Even though I was playing dominant, I was hesitant to touch him. I met his eyes and he nodded once. I unbuttoned the top button, then the next one, and the next one, until it was completely open. I pushed it off his shoulders, trailing my hands back down his body. His mouth fell open, his breathing labored. His body hadn't gone stiff like normal when I touched him. He was making progress. Definitely making progress. I traced his oh-so happy happy trail, before unbuttoning his jeans and working down the zipper. I met his eyes, watching him as his diaphragm moved up and down as he took long deliberate breaths. I finally pushed his jeans away from him, leaving him in his boxers. I reached up, and pressed a kiss to his lips. He reached up and touched my face gently, tracing his fingers down my throat. When I pulled away, he smirked down at me. "Are you smirking at me, Mr. Grey?" He nodded once, knowing not to speak this time. I giggled. I hooked my fingers inside the waistband of his boxers, and pulled them down his legs, allowing him to spring free. I smiled. "Step out of them." He stepped out of his jeans and boxers and kicked them to the side. "Good boy." He coughed to hide his chuckle. "Now, I'm going to undress slowly right here in front of you, and you are going to refrain from touching me or moving from that spot, understand?" I watched as his face fell, and this time… he really was putty in my hands.
"Yes ma'am." He whispered. I reached down and pulled the satin tie of the robe, allowing it to open. I pushed it off my shoulders, revealing the white lacey lingerie I was wearing underneath. I heard his breathing hitch.
"See something you like?" I asked. He nodded once. I pirouetted around for him once, before stopping in front of him. He licked his lips, causing heat to pool between my thighs. I was having a hard time, not just attacking him, but I knew if I was going to do this right, it had to be slow. I unhooked the bra from the back, and pushed the straps down my arms, allowing it to slowly fall away from my chest and torso. He gasped slightly. I smirked at him, and trailed my hands down my body, reaching the white panties. His hand twitched, and started towards me, when I stopped, and shook my head. His hand fell instantly. He was trying so hard. I could see it. I started maneuvering my panties down, slowly… painfully.
"Please." He whispered.
"Shhh." I said, once they were gone, I kicked them off. He looked up and down my body, practically panting.
"Please, Ana. I want to touch you." He begged. I'd never heard him beg for anything… except maybe once. Those were dark thoughts, things I didn't want to think about.
"No, Mr. Grey. Now, lie down in the center of the bed, and put your arms over your head." He did as I asked, and I watched as he moved slowly to the center. I pulled the shackles down, and chained his right wrist. "Is this okay?" I murmured. He nodded once. I smiled down at him. "You're doing really well."
"So are you." He said, his voice deep with lust. He reached up to touch me, but I grabbed his left hand before he could. I shackled that one too, pulling to make sure it was secure.
"I spoke to soon." He growled slightly. I climbed off the bed, bringing the wrapped up tub of ice cream over to the bed. I also grabbed the mask he'd used on me, and placed it by the bedside table. "Now, I'm choosing this to show you what it was like all those times we've done this, when I wasn't allowed to touch you. I want you to understand what that was like for me, got it?"
"Yes." He murmured. I raised an eyebrow.
"Yes ma'am." He amended. I smirked down at him.
"Christian." I murmured softly.
"Yes?" He asked, knowing I was talking to him, not my submissive. I climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.
"I'm going to be touching you, and I'm going to be touching you a lot. If it gets to be too much… you need to tell me to-." He cut me off, by shaking his head. He pulled on his arm restraints, wanting to touch me, but couldn't reach me.
"I'm not going to tell you to stop." He whispered.
"Christian, I know that you're still progressing, and if it gets to be too much, if you can't handle it… please, tell me. I don't want to hurt you, or do something you don't like."
"I want you to touch me. I'm ready for it. I want this." He murmured. I met his eyes and nodded once.
"Well then, let's get started, shall we?" I whispered. I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips, cupping his face in my hands. The kiss started off sweet, affectionate, and quickly escalated. I removed my mouth from his trailing kisses down his throat, and his collar bone. He pulled on the restraints, but I looked up at him and shook my head. I continued my assault, starting hesitantly down his chest. I kissed every scar there, before looking up to make sure he was alright. His whole body was shaking. "Are you okay?"
"Don't stop." He whispered. I nodded and continued all the way down his body. I stopped at his navel, swirling my tongue around it and inside. His hips flexed upward, causing me to smile. He was panting now. "Ana, please."
"Always so eager, Mr. Grey. I'm not nearly done with you yet." I said, seductively. He moaned, as I continued downward, kissing the tip of his throbbing erection, and down his thighs, all the way to his feet. On my way back up, I took him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around his tip. He hissed and took a deep breath.
"Fuck, Ana." He groaned, moving his hips, forcing him farther into my mouth. I smirked as I raked my teeth against the long vein. I could feel his release coming, but right before he would have combusted, I pulled away from him, smirking. His eyes flew open, finding my face.
"Not so fun when you're on the opposite end, is it?"
"Oh God, Ana… please. I can't take it anymore, I need to-." I cut him off.
"Are you using a safe word? I'll unshackle you." He shook his head.
"I just need to be inside of you… please?" He begged. I laughed.
"I'm not nearly done with you yet, Mr. Grey… sorry." He groaned. I grabbed the mask off the table, and climbed back onto him. "Lift your head." He hesitantly did as I asked. "I think you've seen enough for tonight." I slid it over his eyes, and laid his head back down onto the pillows. "Now, I brought us a treat. Since I know how much you love chocolate, Mr. Grey…" I heard his breathing catch. I grabbed the tub of ice cream and spoon off the table, and opened it, tossing the lid to the side. It had almost melted, but there was still some solidity to it. I took a bite of it, and smirked. "Would you like some, Mr. Grey?"
"Yes." He breathed.
"Yes what?" I snapped, giggling. He smiled.
"Yes ma'am." I scooped out a spoonful and stuck it in his mouth. I allowed some to run down his chin and neck.
"Oops, let me get that for you." I quickly attached my mouth to the line of chocolate, running my tongue down across his skin. "Hmm… it tastes ten times better off of you."
"God damn it, Ana." He groaned, pulling hard on his restraints.
"No sir, Mr. Grey." I whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss right below it. I took another bite of the ice cream, before drizzling it all down his body and placing a dollop in his navel as he'd done with me not long ago. Goosebumps rose on his skin at the temperature. I sat the tub of ice cream to the side.
"I'm going to touch you again, Christian." I whispered, since he couldn't see me doing it now.
"Please… touch me." He groaned. I reached up, placing my mouth at the beginning of the trail of chocolate, and slid my mouth and tongue all the way down his body to his navel. He flexed his hips upward.
"Mr. Grey, you're going to get ice cream on the bed. Be still." I said, smirking. He tried his hardest, but couldn't manage. I licked the ice cream out of his belly button, and then pressed a kiss to his stomach. He growled.
"Ana, I can't take it anymore. I can't do this. I need to be inside of you. Unshackle me… please." I pulled the mask off of his face, and his eyes found mine. They were wild and cloudy, another shade of grey all together. I stared at him for a second, before shaking my head at him.
"I don't think I can do that. I'm having too much fun with this."
"I'll use a safe word." He growled.
"And I won't care. We're under no contract, Mr. Grey… and well… I don't think you really want me to unshackle you." I told him. He threw his head back, bucking his hips upward.
"Please Ana, I'm going to combust. You're killing me." He begged, his back arched. I placed a finger over his lips.
"Shhh… Close your eyes." I murmured, pressing another kiss to his chest. He tensed before relaxing again. His eyes slammed shut. I threw my leg back over his waist, maneuvering myself over his length before sinking down on him. He hissed through his teeth, pulling hard on his restraints. I moaned and threw my head back. I loved being in control. I could definitely get used to this. I started moving up and down on him, causing his entire body to shake. His eyes never opened after I'd told him to close them. It wasn't long before I slid down on him, and I found my release, exploding around.
"Open your eyes, look at me." I whispered, as he bucked his hips upward at me. I watched as he became unraveled underneath me. It was the most mind blowing experience I'd ever had. I collapsed on his chest, trying to catch my breath.
"Unshackle me, please."
"Is that a good idea?" I murmured. He chuckled, and nodded. I reached up, and undid one wrist, then the other. Before I knew it, I was on my back, with him above me. He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me hard.
"I should suspend you from the ceiling for not unshackling me when I told you to." He growled against my mouth. I was suddenly afraid.
"Are you mad at me?" I whispered.
"I'm livid with you." He said, playfully. I knew he wasn't actually mad. "You did amazing, Anastasia. Now, I understand why you couldn't be a submissive."
"Why couldn't I be a submissive?" I asked.
"Because you were obviously born to be a dominant. You were phenomenal."
"I can't say you were all that great of a submissive though. You're a baby, Christian Grey. All those times you shackled and tied me up, never once did I beg for you to untie me or unshackle me." I said, smirking up at him.
"Oh, I'm a baby, am I?" He asked. I nodded once and yawned. "You're sleepy."
"I am a little exhausted." I admitted. He gathered out clothes up off the floor, and we both dressed. Once I was back in my lacey lingerie, he smiled at me.
"I definitely love that." He breathed as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You look like an angel."
"Always." He whispered. I wrapped my robe back around me, and gathered the ice cream and wine glasses. I put the melted ice cream back in the fridge and the glasses in the sink. I'd planned on washing them, but as always… Christian distracted me. Gail would do them in the morning. Christian pulled me into the bedroom, and pulled the robe off of me. He stripped down to just his boxers and crawled in bed. I crawled in after him, laying my head on his shoulder.
"I'm so proud of you." I whispered, after a few minutes of silence.
"Why is that?"
"Because you let me touch you. You let me touch you… a lot." I whispered. I turned to look at him, so I could see his expression. "I was scared it was going to be too much for you. I was scared you were going to tell me to stop."
"I know, baby. I enjoyed it though. I like it when you touch me." I gently laid my hand on his chest. He laid his hand over mine.
"Am I really the only one you've ever let touch you?" I asked. He nodded.
"And the only one I've ever played submissive for. You should feel extremely honored tonight, Ms. Steele." He told me. I giggled.
"Oh, I do, Mr. Grey."
"You are the most beautiful thing on the face of this earth, Anastasia Steele. I hope you know that." He whispered into my hair. I just smiled.
"Never let me go." I murmured softly, pressing a kiss to his bicep.
"Never." And with that, I snuggled closer to him, and slowly fell into a blissful sleep. As each shade flooded to the surface, I'd begun to understand it. I'd begun to delve into it, and know why he was that shade. I studied each shade, until I understood it enough to move on from it and dive into another shade of grey. He may have been fifty shades of fucked up, but he's always be my fifty shades.