They'd just had a long tournament at Smasher Mansion, and…Surprisingly, the Victor was Luigi. No one was paying attention when he and Ganondorf fought. Everyone assumed that Ganon would just get a good Shadow Punch in and knock the Underrated Plumber off the arena.
But…no. Apparently Ganondorf was traumatized and refused to speak of it. Honestly, it would probably remain a mystery for the ages…
So when Luigi set in for his Victor's feast, with all the other Smashers lined along the big table. Some Assist Trophies were there too, including Waluigi and Shadow the Hedgehog.
"I know what happened." Shadow dropped on them. Oh well. There goes 'the mystery for the ages'.
Mario dropped his fork on his steak, surprised. He needed to know if he was going to fight his brother next time. "What?" he asked the Ultimate Lifeform.
Luigi shuffled in his seat, nervous.
"Isn't it obvious? Little green cap over there's been hiding in your shadow far too long." He snorted, and took a bite of his salad. "I don't even know how he got into Brawl."
Sonic waved from the far end of the table, smiling. "Hello, Faker, case you haven't noticed your just a low Assist Trophy."
Shadow stood up and put his hands on the table. Link unsheathed his Master Sword, just in case a fight broke out at the dinner table. The Pikmin crawled around, nibbling on Olimar's crumbs.
Mario frowned. "Not the point. What happened?"
"Luigi here, after taking a serious defeat from Jigglypuff." He began. Several people giggled, and Solid Snake snorted.
"Pathetic." He mumbled.
Luigi crossed his eyebrows and held up a hand, which had a fireball in it. "Anyone insults me again and they get Fireball to the face, I can guarantee."
King Dedede yawned. "Get on with the story, Shadow, so I can get back to my nap. We can't leave til everyone's done, you know."
"He was so annoyed after losing that time, to a small Pound attack, I must add," Jigglypuff high fived Pikachu out of happiness. "That he went and snuck out of the Smash Mansion."
They gasped. Smash Mansion was impossible to leave, and everyone had to stay until the whole event was over.
Shadow continued. "He met with a shady green dealer, who spoke in odd rhymes and such. I think his name was Fawful."
Bowser laughed, but it came out as more of a growl. "Not even I would be that low, not after that time." He said, referring to the events of Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.
"He purchased this device, I'm still not sure how it works, but it hijacks a Smasher's brain and makes them fight at a much lower rate. He's used it on all of you, explaining how he got so far."
Everyone looked indignant, and Luigi sulked in his seat.
Wario spoke up, after brushing away a gassy fart cloud. "Why have you been keeping this stuff to yourself, Hedgehog?"
Sonic held up a hand. "I take offense to that."
"I've only recently discovered it, strange gassy man. I keep a close tab on everyone here…just in case. Man, If I could count how many times Rouge tried to cut my throat to get a hand on valuables…Ugh." He wrinkled his nose in disdain.
Luigi was now edging towards the exit, trying to escape the chaos that was sure to erupt once everybody decided to gang on him. Only two people noticed, and their reaction was immediate.
Ness's psychic fire bolt was sent hurling straight at him, and the Chaos force knocked him in the Stomach. The flame set a fire his gloves, revealing his bare, tan hands.
Lucas giggled, but soon stopped. "Don't you think he suffers enough abuse around here?"
Shadow looked at the young boy, who'd suffered much more tragedy than someone his age should've. "The insolent Plumber made all of you have reduced powers without your knowledge. He has betrayed his brother's trust, and everyone's else. He deserves some punishment, I think, Lucas."
Lucas considered that. "Well…okay."
Luigi recovered from his initial pain to run outside. Sonic stood up, grinning. "He can't outrun the fastest thing alive." He spurred into a ball and went after him.
Not but a few seconds later, Luigi was returned, being held in the air by the collar of his shirt.
Snake held him against the wall, holding a pistol to his head, looking very threatening. "What do you have to say, Punk?"
Mario felt he should probably step in at this point. "Hey, Snake, maybe you should just put him down."
Waluigi smiled slyly. "Why not just sell him to the black market? He coulda get us some decent cash, Plumber."
Donkey and Diddy of the Kong family pounded their chests in agreement, howling. Peach looked very affronted at the sudden rude behavior.
Shadow sighed. "Just let him go. But if he tries something like this again…Feed him to Bowser."
Crazy Hand materialized over the dinner table, holding a fork. "If that happens I'll definitely eat the leftovers!"
And so this ends on a rather random note. Was it funny?