Disclaimer: I definitely do not own "Buffy: the Vampire Slayer."

AN: This story takes place during the episode "Bad Eggs" in the second season. I got the idea because they mention that since Buffy missed class, she has to be "a single mother," implying that the others got partners. Who were Xander and Willow's partners? This is told from the viewpoint of an OC.

Xander Harris: A Very 'Bad Egg'

I never should have left my egg with that egghead. I will never forgive Mr. Whitmore for pairing me with Xander Harris. Unlike some people, I take my grades seriously and, if something happens to our baby … I mean, our egg, then Xander and I will fail. I don't care if Xander fails, but I cannot.

I never should have let him take the egg but, as much as I hate to admit it, he has a cute smile and he talked me into it. I almost said no, but then that friend of his, Willow, promised that she'd keep an eye on him. I don't know her very well, but I know she is serious about her schoolwork, as serious as I am. I hadn't dared to believe that she would let that buffoon friend of hers jeopardize my grades.

But, clearly she only cares for herself! This morning when I went to retrieve Jasmine—at least that's what I am calling my baby—I found something hideous.

Xander was casually—casually!—tossing our baby in the air! Just playing catch with her, not even caring about how fragile she is. I hope he never has a real baby—it would never last!

I yelled at him to stop but he just gave me that lazy grin of his. I won't lie: My heart did melt a little at that. He may be an obnoxious geek, but he is a cute obnoxious geek and I am still a 17-year-old girl. I nearly smiled back at him, but then he dropped her.

I should have known he wouldn't be able to catch her! I've been in P.E. with him since middle school. He can't even catch a basketball and that's a lot bigger and a lot sturdier. He just let her fall. How callous!

Imagine my surprise when she didn't shatter into a million pieces that neither the king's horses nor the king's men could reassemble. She just rolled. I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that he had just been playing with a golf ball or something, thankfully. Then I actually did smile at him. I had just been worrying about nothing. Our egg was safe and sound … somewhere else.

"Where is she?" I asked cautiously. Off of his confused look, I explained, "Our egg?"

He shot me that slightly goofy smile again, presented the golf ball to me with a flourish and said, "Here you are, m'lady."

"What?" I somewhat squawked.

"Look, I kept it safe," he said, shrugging as if he were just a humble student.

"Why didn't it break when you dropped it?" I asked him accusingly.

"Oh, you know," he shrugged again. "Boiling water does miracles; it gets rid of germs, protects eggs …"

I couldn't even respond. I just marched away indignantly. I mean, what can one say to a person like that? He killed her! He hardboiled my baby! There was no other choice. I would simply go to Mr. Whitmore and demand a new egg. I can be a single parent. Being a single egg parent has to be better than being an egg parent with that halfwit.

… But Mr. Whitmore wasn't there. They canceled class because of it. How can he not be there? I need to talk to him. Pairing me with Xander was completely unfair! I'll just have to speak to him tomorrow and until then I'll just avoid Xander Harris. I know that if I even see him, I might just snap.

Oh, look, what's that? Hm, someone just left their egg lying here. That's terrible! Well, I'll take her in! Mr. Whitmore will have to be impressed if I adopt an egg.

Wait, is it cracking? What's hap—AAAHHHHHHH!

BtVS

That's it, but if you liked it, please review!