Disclaimer: I don't own Two And A Half Men


It all seemed like a normal day in Alan Harper's life but that was only until Charlie came in.

"Alan," he said, "We need to talk."

"Is something wrong," Alan asked.

"Well... I just found out something very interesting about Jake."

Alan sighed.

"What did he do," he asked.

"Nothing," Charlie said, "That's the point."

Alan sat up straighter.

"Okay I'm a little confused," he said.

Charlie sat down.

"It turns out that Jake's recent behavior is my fault," Charlie said.

"Now I'm very confused," Alan said, "How is his behavior your fault?"

"Well it's like this. I was dating his teacher," Charlie began.

Alan groaned.

"Again? Charlie did you learn nothing from the nut job teacher from heck incident?"

"Anyway," Charlie said, "I ended up breaking up with her. As it turns out she was angry with me and took that anger out on Jake which is why he got in trouble last week and that's why he's been behaving so badly lately."

As if on cue Jake stormed in and slammed the door.

"We'll talk about this later," Alan hissed to his brother, "Jake come're a sec buddy."

Jake trugged over to his dad and slumped down.

"Uncle Charlie tells me Miss Hawk has been really mean to you unfairly. Is that true?"

"Yeah but whatever. It doesn't matter," Jake mumbled.

"It sure as ham sandwiches does matter," Alan said, "Honey why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause," Jake said, "You were going through a tough week so why should I bother you with my petty problems."

"Jake," Alan said, "You are my son and I love you. Your problems are not petty. You're problems matter to me because you matter to me. If I had known what was going on I would never have gotten on your case for the way you were acting. I didn't know why you were acting the way you did and I assumed you had no good reason. Now I am going to go down to your school and have a long talk with Miss Hawk."

"DAD NO," Jake exclaimed, "SHE'LL JUST PICK ON ME MORE THEN SHE ALREADY DOES."

"That's not going to happen," Alan reassured his son, "I'll make sure it doesn't."

"She calls me dumb. She makes me stay to erase the blackboard and clean up the whole room. She's even acted hurtful at times," Jake said, "How can you make sure it doesn't happen?"

"Jake," Alan said, "Trust me. I'll make sure it doesn't happen. Now go play your video games for a little while and then me or Uncle Charlie will take you shopping."