Scott was seriously nervous. Meeting Ramona's parents was a serious step. SERIOUSLY!
"Scott, you are sweating like a fat guy in a speedo, calm down," said Wallace, Scott's gay roommate with a dry, dry sense of humor.
"I've got good reason to be, Wallace, New York is scary… that's the place with the big green lady right?" "Yeah, something about liberation" said Wallace, sarcastically.
"…And besides," Wallace adds. "This has got to be easier than meeting Knives' parents, you know….. intimidating Asians….." Scott stares at Wallace blankly. Then he continues " Wallace! I'm unemployed, I sleep in a bed with three other guys, ALL GAY and I sort of destroyed all of Ramona's exes….. do you think they'll like that?" said Scott, panicking.
"Listen guy, if Ramona's parents can even comprehend the L word, they'll know you're right for Ramona," Wallace gives as advice.
"… You think I should pretend to be a lesbian?" Scott said, looking up from his Sex Bob-omb "album". (If you could call it that.)
"Again, guy, I'm not trying to trick you, I meant love," said Wallace. Scott was waiting for something snarky or sarcastic to come out of Wallace's mouth but he was being genuine for once. "You're right," said Scott, finally. "And about the TWO guys besides you who I've been sharing a futon with, you know you're gonna have to pick one eventually."
"Oh Scott, naive, precious Scott, you cannot choose love, love chooses you…. especially when they're hot" said Wallace. "We're not all saints like you." "Wallace, I don't even believe in God," Scott replies, avoiding the direction the conversations was heading in.
"Hey, God has some great ideas, Scott, do not evade him" Wallace says, pointing a spatula at him as he got ready to make pancakes. "Isn't the church against gay marriage?" asked Scott.
Before Wallace could answer, the doorbell rang. "It's Ramona!" said Scott, jumping like a dog too close to a party popper. He wasn't quite sure if he should just run to answer the door first or hide in the bathroom and act all nonchalant. But he was too late for either. Wallace answered the door for Ramona to see Scott hiding behind the armchair next to the futon on the floor. If you haven't already, guessed, their place is a toilet. SERIOUSLY.
"Hi Ramona," said Scott trying to be cool by gliding around the armchair but then he tripped up on the futon like an idiot. "Hey Scott, Wallace, how are we all?" Neither Scott or Wallace answered now that they had taken in what Ramona looked like.
Scott was pretty used to Ramona's hair color change every 2 weeks or week and a half but this…..
Her hair was mauve with coral and peach highlights. Bizarre….. but, on her neck….
There was a serious awkward silence, no one had spoken for like a minute and a half.
"Scott?" Ramona said. "You got a tattoo? Let me see!" said Scott, jumping towards her with shock and nervousness. "It's really not a big deal" said Ramona. Damn her coolness.
The tattoo read: Supermegafoxyawesomehot …..
"…..Darren Criss? Since when are you….." Scott needed to be careful with this. "A fangirl, I know, I just thought it'd be ironic" said Ramona, trying to put Scott ease, his expression had been creepy-nervous-shock-smile for about 3 minutes straight.
"There's the hipster Ramona we all know and love" said Wallace, also making his own attempts to put Scott at ease. "I know we're having such fun but… I need you to get out, Jolyon and Steve will be over any minute now."
"Jolyon?" asked Ramona. "It's Latin, okay!" said Wallace and he pointed his spatula at Ramona.
"Now take your new tattoo and your purple locks out of here," he said.
Ramona and Scott shuffled towards the door and stepped out into the frosty, placid street in Toronto.
"It's pretty cool, right?" Scott said with an awkward smile. "…that was a pun on the weather." "I know, Scott," said Ramona, but with a fond smile.
"So, are you nervous about meeting the 'rents?" asked Ramona, chuckling. "What, me? No, I'm as nervous as a…. secure….. person…. guy," said Scott. Oh how he wished he could not be so socially awkward, just for once. Especially around his girlfriend and soon, her parents. "You know Scott, I think they'll like you, I mean like I've said before, compared to my other BFs, you're not a total ass," laughed Ramona. "But I'm part-ass?" Scott asked, loosening up a little. Ramona laughed again.
There was a door at the end of the foggy lane which led to a subspace highway, directly to New York. It's how Ramona mainly stayed in contact with her family back home in America.
"Well, if any of your boyfriends was an ass, it was Gideon," said Scott, though he regretted it immediately. Ramona looked shaken. "Don't talk to me about Gideon," she said, looking hurt and vulnerable. Gideon was the last boyfriend Ramona had before Scott and a little bit during.
Ramona grabbed Scott's hand and they flew through the subspace highway, landing on a busy street in New York city. "That's weird…" said Ramona. "We're about 20 minutes away from my parents' place. We're gonna have to take the subway."
"The subway? cool….." said Scott, who was always fascinated with underground transportation… yeah….
"My parents live in apartment 3b in the building down in Greenwich village," said Ramona as they got off the subway.
"Neat," said Scott. Neat…. really? *facepalm*
"So, what made you get a Darren Criss/Starkid tattoo?" asked Scott, desperate to make things more comfortable. "Oh, I just thought Supermegafoxyawesomehot kinda summed me up," joked Ramona. Scott chuckled. "Well, it's true," he said lovingly. He really did love Ramona and although defeating seven nutcases seems a bit much, he'd do it all over again for her.