A.N. So have you guys seen the latest micronations? I have. HOLY FFFFFF- HOLY SH- ARE THOSE GUYS CUTE. Kugelmugel is just the most adorable mofo' I've ever seen. I'm serious. He is a tiny little sphere of a nation in Austria, and is nutso about art. But anyways, if you haven't seen, GO SEE. Ladonia is my second fave, and him and Kugel... I SHIP IT. :3
Haha, so this is a story based on a comment I saw on YouTube. They were all like, "Dude. Kugelmugel looks just like Prussia and Austria's love child. Look, Austria's eyes, Prussia's hair." Everybody on the thread began to fangasm violently and agree in very loud voices. I, a spectator, was all like, FIC IDEA. YUSS.
It's also based on the original web comic, where Austria is trying to explain himself and Kugel to Switzerland, without much success. Also Spain shows up. Go read it to understand a couple references in here.
Disclaimer: I own only the idea... kind of. XD
"Hey Specs! I'm here to infinitely grace your household with my awesome presence. No need to thank me."
Austria didn't turn around. He didn't need to. This was the same greeting Prussia used every time he came to… "visit". If you could call it that. Giving a soft kind of sigh, or perhaps groan, he straightened his sheet music once again and continued to indulge his senses in the wonders of one of Schubert's better-known pieces.
"Hey." Hot breath tickled his ear, and Austria resisted the urge to slap away his obnoxious houseguest as one would a mosquito. Grimacing, he reluctantly ceased his playing. The piano keys winked resentfully up at him in the chandelier-light and he shot them a sorrowful glance.
"What is it Gilbert?" he asked when he finally turned around, unsurprised to find Prussia's impishly smirking face planted only inches from his own.
"Well…" Prussia leaned back, attempt to startle Austria having failed, and sprawled himself over one of the room's more elegant couches. "The least you could do would be to get me some drink." Austria nodded shortly and strode into the kitchen, ignoring the ringing cry of, "And none of that sissy tea crap! Real German beer, ya hear?" behind him.
While reluctant to give Prussia even more incentive to behave like an idiotic ass, Austria knew that the other would not leave until he had a drink or two inside him. So he found a couple bottles that he had saved for occasions just such as this and headed back to the practice room. Whereupon he found- Oh. Oh Gott, no. Prussia looked up at him as he crossed the threshold and grinned wickedly.
"Specs, you dog! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Why didn't I tell you-?" This couldn't be happening. Prussia was not sitting there with Kugelmugel. The two of them were not having a conversation. It was most likely not about Austria and all sorts of private things he'd prefer not to have divulged. And Prussia was definitely, definitely not corrupting the mind of the new micronation. Of course not. He felt his grip on the beers slipping and set them down just in time.
"Oh don't act so naïve, Austria. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Prussia turned his bright red-eyed gaze to the boy reclining on the chair beside him. "So what were you saying, kid?" Kugelmugel shot him an impassive look but didn't comment on the other's lapse in name remembrance. Maybe he didn't even notice.
"Austria keeps a diary that he writes in every night before he goes to sleep. He keeps it underneath his pillow," he said. Austria blushed furiously at these words.
"L-lies! How on earth would you know that?" he sputtered out.
"Sometimes I see you when I'm walking past your room to sharpen my pencils."
"Kesesesese~!" Prussia gave his strange hissing cackle of a laugh. "Oh, this is rich! I can't wait to hear more. When were you going to tell me that we had a kid?"
"That we… what?" Austria felt all the blood leave his face. "Excuse me?" he spoke again, much louder that his refined nature usually allowed. It echoed unnaturally about the tall room.
Prussia stood up slowly and sauntered over to him, eyes flashing excitedly. Austria hurriedly backed himself against the wall, but too late. With one swift movement, the other man had him pinned and planted a huge, sloppy kiss on his lips.
All that he could manage to choke out when they broke apart was a stuttering, "A-are you already drunk?" Prussia just grinned and kissed him again. "Get off, you fool!" He pushed the other off with more than a little difficulty. "What was that?"
"Well, I just thought we ought to act more like a couple. I mean, obviously this kid is ours, Roddy. Just look at him! White hair, me. Violet eyes, you. Super sneaky spying abilities to use on others, me. And uh…" Prussia looked back over at Kugelmugel, who had been watching the scene play out with a strange, absent sort of fascination that was all too familiar to Austria. He saw the boy's fingers twitch toward his green sketchbook on the side table, and he quickly grabbed the precarious item out of the other's reach.
"Well, what do you like, kid?" Prussia asked the micronation, drifting back over beside him.
"I like art," Kugelmugel replied without hesitation, eyes still shifting towards the sketchbook in Austria's hands.
Prussia scratched his head. "Well there you go. Art. That's totally your un-awesome influence."
"That you and I did the naughty, Specs!" Prussia said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Funny though, I don't remember it at all. Must have been pretty wasted…"
Austria finally got his breathing under control. "You're preposterous. That doesn't make one bit of sense. For one thing, we're both male, idiot. First Switzerland, now you…" he trailed off. Prussia visibly stiffened, dropping Kugelmugel's long white braids that he had distractedly been playing with.
"What? Switz thinks the kid's his too?" he asked, brow beginning to furrow. Austria nodded his head absentmindedly, still preoccupied with the whole debacle. "You… you complete whore, Austria!"
"I- I beg your pardon?"
"Yea, you'd better be begging my pardon! You did it with Switz too, didn't you? Scheiße, I can't believe you. The fucking nerve!" Prussia's eyes suddenly widened at his last words, and he slapped his hands over Kugelmugel's ears. "He didn't hear that, did he?"
Austria could have laughed at how stricken the other, normally so verbally carefree, nation looked, how quickly his anger seemed to have evaporated. But he didn't. "Mein Gott, Gilbert, do I really have to tell you that-" The doorbell rang, cutting him off.
Austria glared at Prussia from the doorway. "I believe these… people are friends of yours?"
Prussia shot him a wicked grin and beckoned Spain and France over to where he was sitting. He obviously had invited the other member of the infamous trio to behold his new offspring.
"Meine Freunde, I'd like for you to meet my kid. My kid, uh…" He looked at Kugelmugel. "What's your name again?"
"Kugelmugel," the boy answered him, not bothering to look up from his sketchbook, which he had recovered after Austria had left the room. Currently he sat upside down in one of room's chintz armchairs, feet resting on the headrest and his head hanging freely off, braids askew and brushing the wood-paneled floor.
"¡Ay, que lindo!" Spain squealed in a very unmanly way, rushing over immediately and pinching Kugelmugel's cheeks, which were already very red at this point from hanging upside down. "Is this little joven really yours, Gil?"
"You bet!" Gilbert beamed, looking for all the world like the proudest father in the world. "He's mine and Spec's." He lowered his voice to a mock whisper. "But the poor fool is in denial right now."
Austria felt his face turn hot as all eyes in the room turned to him, including Kugelmugel's, who was taking a rare pause in his drawing to take an interest in the conversation. His current sketch resembled a small boy with flaming red hair and an arrogant grin. The features were minute and precise, showing a strong amount of care for the subject.
France broke the awkward silence, chucking and patting Prussia congratulatorily on the shoulder. "Ah, I always knew you had it in you, mon pote…"
"Knew he had what in him?" Austria choked out, glaring at France. "It's not his child! I don't even believe it's mine! You all seem to think we've had some sort of…" He searched for the right words. "Some sort of… love child together!" The Trio looked at each other for a moment before nodding simultaneously. Austria let out a loud breath of anger and frustration.
Everyone turned to stare at Kugelmugel, whose bright violet eyes had widened as if struck with a sudden epiphany.
France smiled a patronizing sort of smile and bent down to eye level with Kugelmugel. "What is, mon petit?"
"It!" Kugelmugel repeated, much more forcefully. "It is! This is!" He paused, the flipped himself right-ways in his chair, startling Spain, who had been quietly cooing over him for the past few minutes. "Don't you see?" He grabbed France by the shoulders and shook him as if to emphasize his point.
Without waiting for a response, Kugelmugel dashed out of the room, only to return seconds later with two buckets of brightly-colored paint under his arms. The four adult nations stood shock-still as he opened each and dipped a couple paintbrushes in.
"Gut. Just keep holding still!" he breathed out excitedly, face alight with inspiration.
"This is all your fault, you know," Austria said calmly, taking off his glasses and polishing them on his jacket. A hopeless task. "You were the one who got him started on one of his… inspired artistic sprees."
"I fail to see that."
"You would." Austria sighed, then turned to face the room at large. His practice room, which just this morning had been in pristine condition, would now have to be completely refurbished. It was swathed in an array of purple and red paint that covered almost every inch. They too, were covered in the stuff, both he and Prussia decked out in multiple swirls and streaks that wholly destroyed their clothes. Even Austria's glasses had been painted, each lens a different color. Thank goodness he didn't need them to actually see.
Spain and France had both left, the former looking down at his newly ruined clothes in faint bewilderment, wondering aloud "what mi cariño will think of this". Austria was personally glad he wouldn't see that ensuing battle. France, on the other hand, had stormed out, raging about the legal battle that would soon occur over the destruction of his new suit.
"Hey Specs?" Prussia asked quietly from behind him. Wait a second. Prussia? Quietly? "It's not my kid, is it?"
Austria was silent for a moment, pondering this unexpected change in character. "No Gilbert, I don't think so," he replied at last, turning to face the other nation. Whatever he had expected to see, it was definitely not the sight of Prussia, sitting on the decorated couch, bent over, head in hands. "Gilbert? What's the-" He moved slowly over and sat down beside him.
Prussia turned his face away, still not looking at Austria. "I just thought, well… That if… Kugelmugel was technically ours… I would be connected. To the world, to y-" He stopped abruptly, breathing deeply, then continued. "To you. And then maybe I would never disappear. I'd be able to stay forever. You know?" Finally he looked at Austria, and the latter was startled to see wet tearstreaks on his cheeks, washing away the crumbling paint. Unthinkingly he reached out and brushed away the remaining tears, smearing red and purple onto his long fingers.
"Gilbert, you… Is that the reason you-" He couldn't finish the question. This was all too strange, too surreal. Where was the Prussia that went around loudly proclaiming about how happy he was to be alone? And yet somehow… somehow he knew that although this was a part of the other nation that he had been unable to see before, it was just as real as the loud-talking, obnoxious face he wore on a daily basis. It was odd, yes, but also inexplicably moving.
"Gilbert," he began again. "If you really wish it, then you can help raise Kugelmugel. But," he continued, "he is not our son. Understand?" Prussia nodded fervently, snuffling loudly, and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "Good. And as for you ceasing to exist… Well, I think if God would choose to answer my prayers, he could have done so long before now." Austria smiled a small, teasing smile at Prussia. Prussia looked stunned at this, but quickly recovered and grinned back, genuinely happy.
"Danke, Austria. I really-"
"And you can start," Austria interrupted, "by getting Kugelmugel to clean up most of this paint."
Prussia scoffed loudly. "Too easy."
Austria smirked. "Well all right then, if it's so easy, go ahead and do it." He turned and headed up the stairs to his room, laughing quietly to himself. That poor idiot doesn't know what he's got himself into. Parenthood is not going to suit him well.
Prussia let his shoulders sag as soon as Austria was out of sight. He couldn't believe that had really just happened. Everything had come spilling out of his mouth at once, he had poured out his greatest fears, and… and… Nothing bad had happened. Austria hadn't rejected him. Well, he hadn't exactly embraced him either, but at least he had acknowledged him. Right? Well actually he wasn't entirely sure. He didn't even mention the kiss… Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Prussia shrugged wordlessly to himself. Might as well get down to business.
"All right kid, come on out! It's time to pay your dues." Prussia looked around the room. Kugelmugel was nowhere to be found. That was strange. He could have sworn he had just seen the micronation a few minutes ago, after the rest of the Trio had left. The hell… Where could that brat have run off to? "Okay, real funny! I'll find you eventually, you know," he called out, already starting off into the next room.
Twenty minutes later, he had searched every room in Austria's mansion and found not a trace of Kugelmugel. Or Austria, who seemed to have abandoned the premises as well. Both leaving him with the responsibility of a ruined practice room in his hands.
"Shared burden of parenthood, my ass," Prussia muttered to himself as he angrily scrubbed the hardwood floor. "You Arschloch, Specs..."
A.N. Sooooooo? How was it? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Post 'em in a review! First (and possibly last) time writing PruAus, so let me know how it was. Also if I screwed up anything language-wise. I tried to stay pretty basic, but ya never know... ;)
Also, the color of the paint. Is red and purple. The colors of... two people's eyes? Hmmm? Maybe Kugel's a pretty inspired artist!
Also also, did you notice Kugelmugel's sketch? GUESS. JUST GUESS WHO IT WAS BY MY PREVIOUS AN.
ALSO ALSO ALSO I HATE HOW I'M HAVING TO USE ALL THESE LINE BREAKS IN THE STORY. Site keeps deleting my personalized breaks.