Couples Counselling

Chapter 1:

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own ideas.

A/N: I thought I might make an Akatsuki crack. Just for the hell of it. As the title suggests, it will be on couples counselling. Not the partners, but relationships. First up, Deidara and Sasori. YAY! Just for the hell of it I also decided that Pein and Konan will have a daughter and she will be the one that does the counselling. She looks like Pein. Has 2 piercing in each ear, one under her lip and one in her nose. Her name is Itami, which means pain XD. It will be in her POV.

"Uh, why me?" I sighed. I walked up to the door of my bed room as someone knocked again. I opened it to find Deidara and Sasori standing outside.

"Enter." Deidara pushed past me and Sasori followed. I took a seat in my chair across from Deidara and Sasori.

"So, what's the problem this time." They had been to see me three times in the past week and it was starting to bug me.

"SASORI WON'T SPEND TIME WITH ME!" I sighed again. It's hard to counsel someone on relationship issues when you've never been in a relationship yourself.

"Sasori, why haven't you been spending time with Deidara?"

"I've been busy." UH! SASORI! NOT HELPING!

"Busy doing what?"

"Stuff." GRRRRRRR!

"SEE! HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO ME ANY MORE, UN!"

"Deidara please let me talk to Sasori. Maybe I can get him to talk. If you'll just wait outside, I'll let you back in once I'm done." Deidara reluctantly got up and left the room.

"Care to tell me what you've been doing? Remember, if you don't tell me, I will have to force you."

"I've been hiding in Hiruko and polishing myself over and over again."

"Why? Haven't you noticed that Deidara wants to spend time with you?"

"I'm just scared of losing him. I don't know what I'd do without him, so I'm trialling it and I don't like it."

"I think you should tell that to Deidara. I'm going to let him back in and when I do we'll talk about this more." I got up and walked over to the door. I opened it and Deidara came in, returning to his seat. He crossed his arms and looked away from Sasori with an angry pout on his face. Sasori's face fell and he put his head in his hands as if he were crying.

"Sasori, tell Deidara." Sasori looked up.

"I'm so sorry DeiDei. I was just scared of losing you. I'm sorry I made you feel hurt but-" Deidara's face softened and he face Sasori.

"You won't lose me. I love you. Nothing could take me away from you, un."

"I love you too, DeiDei." They sat there in their chairs just staring at each other.

"Now get up." They got up. "Now hug." They hugged. "Now leave." They turned and left. "And send the next couple in!"

A/N: Who's next? Why it's Hidan and Kakuzu of course. What will there problem be? You must read to find out. Mwuhahahaha!