I rolled my eyes again. This is probably the third time I have done it in two minutes, but I don't care. This is my time to sulk. Emily was standing where I should have been standing, marrying my boyfriend. And there was nothing I could do about it. Damn imprints!
This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn to help with the wedding. And as my mom would say, "try and be happy about it!" I rolled my eyes again. Yeah right mom! I was told this morning to put on the elaborately decorated dress, that was purple, Emily's favorite color. Was Emily trying to torture me? Has she and Sam even wondered how I would feel being the maid of honor, when she's getting married to my boyfriend? No! They just asked and begged, "Come on Le-Le! It wouldn't be my wedding without you!" Sam begged. He knew he was my weakness. He had a hold of me, and my heart so strong…
Well, as you can probably tell, I gave in. But, that didn't mean that I had to be happy about it, or do as they asked. I wore the black dress that I wore for my last homecoming, when I was still going to school. It was days like this, that I missed the daily drama of high school. Though when you think about it, this could be like a really bad soap opera…
Being the only female werewolf, hell, being a werewolf in general, has been nothing but a headache. Everyday, being around a man who said he would never fall for someone else, as he did for me. Having to listen to the same story over and over in his head. How he had no control over who he had imprinted on. I would understand some lonely Quileute girl that I didn't know, but why my cousin? Why the only girl I got along with on this reservation. This was my hell, and there was no way out.
As I sat here watching as Sam and Emily mingled with the relatives at this small reception, I could feel my throat clenching. A sign that I couldn't sit here and watch this. It would break me. With that I ran to the bathroom. I made sure all the stalls were empty and broke down.
The tears were streaming down my face, as the thoughts I tried to hold at bay, broke through my resolve. He doesn't care about me anymore. He wants her. He never loved me. He broke my heart. He was playing a dangerous game. He left me. He ran to her. Now its all awkward between the three of us. Not to mention the pack. They all think I'm heartless. That I'm mean because I'm more of a harpy than Quileute. I just might be heartless. I don't care. No one will know my pain.
I tried to sober up. They still had to do toasts to the happy couple and me being the maid of honor, and the closest friend, I didn't have a choice. I had to stand in front of my family, my friends and tell my boyfriend and my cousin, how happy I am that they found each other and that they are happy together. I didn't even have a speech together, but I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't lie in front of all those people. How can I act happy, when I feel sick? How can I lie to my family, when they already knew how messed up this situation was. But it wasn't like they could stop this either. If I couldn't do anything to stop it, then it was just going to have to happen.
In all my life, I never thought my life would turn out this way. I remembered when I used to smile. When I laughed. When I would sing and dance around the house because it felt good to do it. Now, nothing feels good. Everything is depressing and I don't know how to live from day to day. How was I supposed to live without the one person who always made me smile?
I took a deep breath. I had to get through this somehow. I squared my shoulders, getting ready for anything. As I walked out, I stopped in my tracks. Our song was playing. Musiq Soulchild- Don't Change. This is the very song that was playing when I met Sam. And now its their song. The song begins as Sam pulls Emily to the dance floor.
Lately you've been questioning If I still see you the same way.
I kept asking him did he love me? And he always answered yes.
Cause through these trying yearsWe gonna both physically change
Yeah, don't I know it. Now, don't you know you'll always beThe most beautiful woman I know.
I wish I still was… So let me reassure you darlin' thatMy feelings are truly unconditional.
He said that. See, I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girlI'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah.
I wish the changes we went through were that small…The way I feel for you will always be the same Just as long as your love don't change, No
Such a little liar, he was…I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
I truly believed that. Even after he changed I still hoped…And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeahGirl the way we are is how its gonna be
I wish that wasn't a lie… Just as long as your love don't changeCause I'm not impressed, more or less By them girls in the T.V and magazines
I watched as he flipped through some magazines, and he almost looked disgusted. Telling me that they needed more meat on their bones…Cause honestly I believe that your beauty Is way more than skin deep
Was I ever beautiful to him?Cause everything about you makes me feel I have the greatest gift in the world.
Our future had so many plans…And even when you get on my last nerve
I smiled. He definitely knew how to get on my nerves.I couldn't see myself being with another girl
The tears started again, but I didn't care to wipe them off my face.
I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girl
Lie.I'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah.
The way I feel for you will always be the same
He lied to me. Just as long as your love don't change, No
I didn't change he did.
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
I wish… it was not supposed to be this way!
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah
You were! Why did you leave me!Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change
So don't waste your time worryin' boutSmall things that ain't relevant to to my understanding your all I want and need.
I still cry at night, thinking about what could have been…See what I'm tryin' to say is I'm here to stay.
Another promise you couldn't keep And as long as your love doesn't change, then Baby darling I swear that I,I swear I ain't going nowhere no.
I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girlI'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah.
The way I feel for you will always be the same Just as long as your love don't change, No
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
It used to be that way…
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah]
Now everything changed…Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't changeI looked up at Sam. Happily twirling his blushing bride across the dance floor. I closed my eyes and wished the song would end soon. Every note was breaking my heart that much more.
You're my baby, yeahDon't you change baby, no Baby you gotta understand that I love you baby, yeahDon't you know, you gotta knowYou've got to knowYeah, yeah
As the song stopped, my mom walked up on the stage and announced it was time to give toasts to the bride and groom. I was scheduled to go first. "Leah." my mom said.
With that I got out my chair and woodenly got to the stage. As I took the podium, and looked out to the crowd, I realized I was still crying. I wiped away my tears, and tried to say something encouraging. Sam and Emily looked at me, waiting for me to say something positive about this horrid event. I closed my eyes, knowing Sam could read me like a book. I stood there for a minute, with nothing to say but this, "Congrats. To the bride and groom." With that I walked off the stage and started shedding my clothes. I was going to phase, and it was going to happen quickly.
I ran into the woods and phased. The forest floor beneath my claws, was helping some. I ran a good two miles before I let out an earth shattering howl. There was so much in it. My wolf took over. She cradled me like a small child, as she mindlessly ran out of the rez. Anywhere to be away from all the sad faces of the people who think my tears were because I was happy for them. Anywhere, is better than sitting there torturing myself. Their happy faces mocked me as they flashed in my head. The song. Everything. Leah was gone. I don't know where she went, but I was no longer myself. I didn't want to be. Anything compared to being Leah Clearwater was a step up…
I didn't know where I was going, but I had to get out of there away from them. I didn't want to turn around and go home. I never wanted to go back. This wedding was my limit. I was done and I was gone. My she-wolf was in her place…
Five years later.
Everything has changed, and finally my life has took a turn for the better. I called my family everyday. I loved them and missed them, but if Sam and Emily were still around, acting as the happy couple, I knew it would still hurt me.
I'm still going through the healing process. But on the other hand my family is doing well. My brother Seth, has finally imprinted on a girl named Lily. I wished him the best. He thinks its because I'm not there to scare off his little girlfriend. I have to laugh at that. I am not who I used to be. I have a therapist now, Dr. Patrick Henry, PhD. And I have to laugh at that too. Never thought I would ever need one. But the doc', as he like to e called, understands me. Which includes the part about me being a werewolf. He used to live on the rez. His grandfather was one of the tribe leaders, and he is just so honored to meet the only she-wolf in history. I smiled at his enthusiasm, when he first met me. It took me a while to open up to him. But my influence to get through this to better myself, was stronger than my attempts to shut him out. And because of it I felt better. I have been seeing the doc' for the past three years and slowly he has become a close friend to me.
While I'm enjoying my life here, my family has been growing in more ways that one. My mom is getting married to Charlie Swan some time in the next few weeks. My mom is also expecting to have another kid, she's only a month pregnant now. At least that's what she told me last time she tried to persuade me into coming back to La Push. I do have to admit. I think about it all the time. Seeing Seth, and my mom and Charlie, who I already considered family. But something was stopping me, and not my current situation, which is my pride and joy. I still don't know if I'm emotionally ready to go back. The Doc' says that he thinks I am. But I don't know for sure. An I really ready to go back after all this time? I've been running for so long…
My Pride and Joy from five years ago, after I left the wedding
I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I just ran. I had to shake these emotions off of me. It wasn't worth holding on to I just made me sicker. I was running blind and angry. My wolf had full control. But something out of nowhere made me stop running.
I skidded to a stop as my wolf smelled around. Something was appealing to her and she wasn't about to let it go, but it wasn't food. Then my wolf heard it. The most beautiful thing I ever did hear. Someone was singing. Walking through the woods just singing to their self. I didn't recognize the song but it was beautiful. I knew in the back of my mind that I had to keep walking or this alluring voice would spot me, and probably call animal control, thinking I was a bear or something, but I couldn't move. The voice was a spell. And it had trapped me like a fly in a spider web. I found myself loosing my wolf form and changing back human. The voice like a life line I followed it throughout the woods until I found the source. Walking through the woods with headphones in his ears was the most beautiful man I have ever seen.
Finally, my time had come. This was my imprint. I stood there watching as he walked and sang to the song that was pouring out of his headphones and into my sensitive ears, I dint recognize the song still. It was familiar, but couldn't place it. I walked closer without knowing it, I was under his spell. Everything just changed with that. I never could look into the future, but I knew that finding him was a good thing.
"What are you listening to?" I said to myself, he couldn't hear me. I followed him. He didn't seem to have any direction as to where he was going and it was getting dark. Someone must have worried about him. As I was about to tap his shoulder to get his attention, to ask him what song was that, I heard Stevie Wonder vocalizing. And I already knew what song it was. It had to be fate pushing us here. The song was A Ribbon in the Sky for our Love.
Oh so long for this night I prayed That a star would guide you my way
I just prayed that the pain would stop, but this works as a substitute…To share with me this special day Where a ribbon's in the sky for our love If allowed may I touch your hand And if pleased may I once again
Yes…So that you too will understand There's a ribbon in the sky for our love Do...Do... Do Do Do Do Do... HMM HMM...
This is not a coincidence And far more than a lucky chance
Though I think it is.. But what is that was always meant Is our ribbon in the sky for our love, love We can't lose with God on our side We'll find strength in each tear we cry From now on it will be you and I
I hope so…And our ribbon in the sky Ribbon in the sky A ribbon in the sky for our love Do...Do... Do Do Do Do Do... HMM HMM...
There's a ribbon in the sky for our love
I touched his shoulder. I couldn't stand to not talk to him already and I didn't even know his name… he turned and looked at me with these hazel eyes, I easily got lost in. he looked at me a little shocked at first and I couldn't figure out why until I looked down and noticed I was standing in front of him wearing nothing but my birthday suit. I blushed but that still didn't stop me from asking who he was?
He smiled at my blush and replied, "Anthony."
Back to a more current future
Ever since Anthony and I have been inseparable, literally. And because of that I was not three months pregnant. And am now married. We eloped. We went to Vegas, which I found more than funny, had Elvis marry us together and that was that. Nothing to it. I haven't looked back and I don't regret it.
Anthony is everything I could have wished in an imprint and more. He loves me. We had a bond that was stronger than anything the Sam had ever had with me. And I was received when I stopped thinking about him and Emily. I wished them well, and everything, but what I have with Anthony is way better than what I had with Sam. The way I need is like a craving for drug, leaving me, endlessly intoxicated. Looking back being with Sam was a chore. I had to make sure to call him everyday, because sometimes I would forget. With Anthony I don't need to call him that often and remember, because no matter what happened I would see him every morning when I woke up and right before I went to sleep at night. He is always there, picking up the pieces and gluing me back together. He was more than my imprint. He is my everything. Including my influence to go to therapy even when I didn't feel like it.
"Leah, just go back home. You said your mother and brother missed you and wanted to see you at the wedding. What's holding you back?" Doc' asked for the millionth time.
If I really thought about it, nothing was really holding me back but my own qualms. How would my family take that I was now married and three months pregnant. Would they accept Anthony? Who knew what could happen? Anthony thinks I don't want to go home because I was ashamed of him. Little did he know that was the everything I didn't worry about. I loved him and I loved showing him off. This was personal. Was I ready to stop running?
Third person POV Sue And Charlie Swan's wedding
Isabella Swan did everything she could to help out her dad and step mom with their wedding. She was sad to see that it never really did work out with her parents, but she figured this was the next best thing. She was wearing her peach colored dress just as her stepmother had requested. Everything was going as smoothly as she had hoped, because she was the wedding and reception planner also. She went to make sure her father was ready. He was, sweating bullets and all he was ready for Sue Clearwater to become Sue Swan-Clearwater. She had asked to hyphenate her name for business purposes.
Then Bella went to check on her soon-to-be stepmother, wondering if she needed anymore help putting on her wedding dress because it had all complicated straps, zippers, and laces. As she helped put her step mother together, she wondered why she looked so sad on her wedding day. She should be the happiest of all the people that were coming to see her and Charlie. When asked, she responded, " I wish Leah was here. I know she hated what happened all those years ago, but I miss my baby."
Bella smiled, knowingly. She knew Leah wasn't going to be able to make it to the wedding but she knew she was arriving at the reception. Still not wanting to spoil the surprise, she smiled sadly at Sue and walked out before the surprise was spoiled by her face, that could never really tell a lie
Charlie and Sue have said their "I-do's" and made their way into the reception hall, waiting to be congratulated by their closest family and friends. And as expected Leah was sitting in a chair with her beloved Anthony standing behind her, and rubbing her stomach lovingly.
The people in China could hear their reunion as Sue creamed and ran for her baby girl. They hugged and cried as Leah profusely apologized about leaving her mother. While her mother soothingly rubbed her back and whispered sweet nothings in her ear about everything being perfect now that she was there.
After the wedding still Third Person POV
Leah smiled as the next song played. It fit her mood.
It's so nice to seeAll the folks you love together
Yes it is… she thought.Sittin' and talkin' 'boutAll the things that's been goin' down
Lord knows we needed to this a long time ago!
It's been a long, long timeSince we had a chance to get together
Yes it has…Nobody knows the next time we see each otherMay be years and years from now
I hope it stays like this forever… she thoughtFamily reunion (Got to have)A family reunionFamily reunion
(It's so nice to come together) To come together(To get together)
Yes it is…I wish grandma could seeThe whole familyI sure miss her faceAnd her warm and tender embrace
Just like I have missed my mom's…And if grandpa was hereI know he'd be smiling for me a tearTo see what he has doneAll the offspring's from his daughters and sons
Dad would have been proud of me today, she thought about her father often, and missed him dearly. Yes, she thought. He would have been proud. Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...At least once a year we should haveFamily reunion
Yeah we should, with two mother expecting, its only going to grow from there…A family reunion (We need to do it for the young )Family reunion(It'll be nice, it'll be nice to come together) To come togetherTo get together…
Leah sat there smiling as she looked around at her family. She watched as Seth introduced Lily to the family and she hoped that Lily was for him, as Anthony was for her. She watched as Charlie tried his hardest to sneak away so he could find out the score of the Mariners game. She smiled as she felt Anthony's arm snaked around her waist.
They started formal introductions as the wedding was coming to a close. Anthony was happy to finally be seeing where his wife had come from. And Leah shamelessly showed him off, as well as her wedding ring, something her mother still had not expected, as well as the Little Blip, their child. The future seemed so bright, until Sam and Emily cane to tell Sue and Charlie congratulations. Leah stopped mid-sentence as she was explaining to her family about finding Anthony, when she saw him. After all these years and he still hasn't aged a bit. Still looking the same as he did when they first got married. The silence was deafening as Anthony cleared his throat and asked Leas, "Who is your friend sweetie?"
Leah looked at him and smiled, he loved calling her pet names. "This is Sam and Emily. This is Anthony. She said introducing them, smiling. Anthony moved first to shake his hand but Sam sat there stunned. Leah was smiling, something he never thought he would ever see again, but there she was. Slowly he acknowledged Anthony and shook his hand. Emily just stood there, awkwardly looking at Leah and Anthony. She never thought she would see Leah happy. But again there she was. Sue broke the silence, "So, Leah. How long are you guys staying?"
Leah looked to Anthony and shrugged her shoulders and said, " I think we are going to be her for a while." with that Anthony planted a kiss on Leah's lips. It was decided, they weren't going anywhere.