"Oh a spoon full of veritaserm makes the tru-ooth come out makes the tru-ooth come out makes the..." one Severous Snape sang gleefully in an off-key voice.

To him it didn't matter that the words made little sense or that if any of the students caught sight of him a new fear would be instilled in their hearts. No the greasy haired professor was prancing around his room like he had broke into the holiday moonshine early.

His fingers curled around a smooth object in his hands as his waltz came to a halt so he could look suspiciously over his shoulder.

"Yes my sweet you are safe with me", Snape cooed licking his chops.

Chapped lips worked their way toward the mouth of the vile, and a spidery hand crawled up as if to pull the cork. A thin bead of drool had started down the weathered chin racing slowly to the floor. The tongue poked out of his mouth in anticipation of what it would soon be tasting.

"NO!" Snape dramatically flung his arms as far from him as they could get while both hands kept their death grip on the bottle. "You know how you get when you drink", he reprimanded in his stern professor voice. "Oh but just a sip couldn't hurt. It will help you sleep. What could one shot do? And such a fine vintage, 1943 I believe..." The potions master's face looked pained "I really shouldn't though, but I have already had some what could a little more do?"

With that said he popped the cork out and chugged the entire contents down and threw away the glass, which much to his consternation did not break. He shrugged it off with a congratulatory giggle as his knees turned to jelly and he toppled face first onto one of the lab tables.


When his eyes finally opened he wished he had left them closed. What was Potter doing running around his dungeon babbling on about the vengeance of the firebolts? He always knew that kid had a screw loose.

Snape groaned pushing himself up off the table. It was then that another Harry Potter slunk into the room. The older mans hands flew to his head to check his temperature. When even shaking his head would not remove the double eye sore he resorted to what he did best."
"Potter and...Potter out of my class now and twenty points from Gryfinndor"


At dinner Things were no better Mcgonagal and Dumbledor were having a staring contest and the poor daft woman didn't seem to realize her new sock was the topic of a heated debate among several of the other professors.

Not hungry Snape took the opportunity to survey the Slytherin table. The sight of Crabbe and Goyle stuffing themselves like thanksgiving turkeys made him wince in disgust. Malfoy as per normal had taken time to stroll over and insult Potter and Co. Amusing, as it was the boy needed to learn some new insults. Zabini the boy, or was it girl, who couldn't decide it's own gender. Last and least was Pansy. The girl would hit on anything with a flat chest and two legs. She had even tried pulling her charms on the potions master. He decided then that all he really wanted was to ram his head repeatedly into his plate, but the food loaded on it would have cushioned the impact.

If things were bad they were soon to get worse. Outside the hall he was accosted by James Potter who latched onto him giving the repulsed man a bear hug. Wasn't Potter dead? Before he could escape Lupin wearing a dog-eared headband and Black in a pastel bunny suit joined Potter in squeezing the life from poor old Snape.

Severous did the only thing he could think of. He screamed. Not the he normal mad yell but a high pitched shriek.

"Professor wake up."

Severous continued to cry pitifully.

"Oh for the love of Merlin! Professor shut up and get up!"

Snape woke to a stinging cheek and the ceiling of the hospital wing. Madam Pomphrey leaned over him her hand still raised lips pursed.

"Been into the veritaserm again have we." Her already thin lips disappeared in wrinkles.

Even though it wasn't a question the potions master still answered under the influence and completely honest "Yes."


Thank Merlin the old prune had finally released him after several doses of her foulest concoction.

Turning the corner into his class he breathed deep in relief over joyed to know that twin potters only occurred in his nightmares. Maybe a little veritaserm to calm those nerves?

SD- Apologies if this offended Snape lovers I really don't have anything against him. No flames please (you might start a forest fire ^.^). Next character on my list is... a mystery though I'm considering Blaise or Hagrid.