For The First Time
A/N: First time at writing so please be kind! Any feedback is welcome, please review :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters, Santana and Brittany are based on the show Glee. All rights belong to the owners and creators of Glee.
'Are you sure you want to do this?' Brittany asked for like the thousandth damn time. And as annoying as it could have been, Santana only found the way she nervously shifted her feet absolutely adorable. The way the blonde's blue eyes gazed hesitantly at her, the way she took a lip between her teeth and chewed nervously, all made Santana's breathing hitch.
Truth is, there is nothing she could ever say or do to piss Santana off, she sometimes hated to admit it, but she would rather die than hurt Brittany.
So, instead of snapping back at Britt like she would have with anyone else, she just stood there, feeling weak at the knees and all that cliché bullshit with butterflies and what not in her stomach. It took her a moment before she could just barely answer 'yes.'
Her palms were so sweaty. They were glued to the fabric of her boy shorts she had grasped in her hand, bunched up and lifting only a slight bit higher on her thigh. Santana could feel her heart hammering inside her chest, in her throat. Yes, she really wanted to do this and for a very long time, but she was so...scared. And that was the worst part.
Santana Lopez should never, ever be scared.
But that's exactly the thing with Brittany.
Brittany made her feel things. Something Santana was totally not used to. Brittany made her nervous, she made her happy. She even made Santana want to re-enact Titanic scenes despite the fact that she thought romantic movies were shithouse, especially Titanic. She had always believed that fairytale happy endings were total bullshit; lies stupid people told themselves to get them through the rest of their pathetic lives. But, Brittany made Santana secretly hope to god they weren't.
The walls Santana had spent her entire high school career building fell down for Brittany, and only Brittany. Brittany made her feel things that nobody else ever could. She was just a better person with her. When she was with Brittany, she was almost proud of who she was. Brittany was every reason why Santana felt compelled to live. It was like Brittany was the wizard, giving the tin man a much needed heart.
Oh fucking great. Now she's even referencing The Wizard of Oz. God only knows how many times Britt made her watch that, she would also never admit how much she had actually started to love watching it. To be honest, Toto was just so damn cute. (Also, the fact that Brittany would like to nuzzle up into Santana's side and absent-mindedly trace patterns on Santana's thigh made her super horny.)
'What are you thinking?' Brittany whispered with a soft smile ghosting across her lips. She took a step across the room to place a palm on Santana's cheek which sent a bolt of electricity running through her veins, leaving her buzzing everywhere. Brittany's cheeks were flushed in anticipation.
'The Wizard of Oz,' Santana blurted out. Oops.
Brittany's face lit up, 'I knew you loved it! You're in love with Toto. I knew it!' She teased tapping Santana's nose. She pressed her body closer and Santana was sure Brittany could hear her crazy ass heart going into an aneurism. Santana put her hands around Brittany's waist, holding her there and played with the fabric of the blonde's top. 'Shut up.' She muttered, smiling.
The two seconds of silence was enough to drive Santana insane. She wanted to kiss her. Kiss her everywhere. She wanted to feel her skin on Brittany's, wanted to hear her name whispered in that sexy voice Brittany used whenever she's turned on. That voice she knew only she could hear, like it was saved just for her.
But there was that fear. Santana was so self conscious and hyper aware of every movement Brittany made and it seemed to short circuit her brain every time Brittany moved a little closer. And it's stupid. They've gotten their sweet lady kisses on so many times Santana lost count, and neither of them were actually even virgins. Heck, Santana was known as the biggest slut in McKinley High, and Brittany had a perfect record for having kissed just about the entire McKinley High School student body.
It's just that sex between them would be something completely different.
That fear Santana felt was enough to make her hesitate, to freeze up. They do this, what if everything changes? What would it mean for them? And worse, what if Brittany didn't want her as much as she wanted Brittany? What if it really meant nothing to Brittany at all?
Santana had made Brittany swear that what was going on between them was just purely the physical. They both had a need for bodies beneath them and sometimes Puck the man-whore just wasn't enough for Santana. Feelings and shit, Santana had told Brittany, were out of the question. Little did Brittany know that Santana had thrown that promise out the window years ago, it was broken long before it even started.
Santana had finally accepted the fact that she was in love with Brittany. What if she couldn't hide it any longer?
The thought of losing Brittany, she couldn't even bare to think. These questions, all these questions, just kept swarming in her brain, buzzing hornets stinging as if to say, don't forget me. Doing this, probably wouldn't solve anything for Santana, she'd just be even more confused than she already was.
But then she looked into Brittany's eyes, and her mind went quiet, the endless questions just died out and it was silent, peaceful.
Brittany was worth it.
Santana didn't give two shits about the consequences. All she could see, think, and feel,was Brittany. All she knew was that she loved Brittany, and she wanted her to show her how much she did.
Whether Brittany was aware of the internal war going on inside Santana's head, Santana didn't know. At this point, she was far from caring if her true feelings were making an appearance. Santana loved Brittany. Brittany needed to know.
'You look really prett-' Brittany was cut off as Santana crashed her lips against Brittany's. As soon as their lips met, the nerves evaporated as quickly as they came. Kissing Brittany was so natural, like breathing. She felt Brittany grin widely as Santana trailed her tongue along Brittany's bottom lip, immediately gaining access. Santana kissed the blonde hard and tilted Brittany's head back so her tongue could delve into the blonde's mouth, exploring the sweet, sweet cavern.
Brittany tasted like sugar and cherry chup-a-chups - fucking delicious. She lightly trailed her nails down Brittany's neck and felt her shiver against her skin. Brittany's hands dug into Santana's back pulling her closer, causing Santana to gasp in exhilaration. Breaking the kiss for a moment, Santana caught her breath but this didn't deter Brittany as she placed soft kisses down her jaw line and then nibbled on the brunette's earlobe.
'Britt –' Santana giggled, she let her hands drag around to Brittany's toned abs, she slipped her hand underneath her top making a path towards the blondes breasts. Brittany started to suck at Santana's pulse point licking in between soft kisses. Light bruises began to blossom where Brittany's lips were so she placed a kiss on each one before bringing her mouth full on to Santana's.
'Oh, San,' Brittany gasped against Santana's lips as the brunette began palming Brittany's left breast, she ran a thumb over the fabric of Brittany's bra as Brittany leant into Santana's familiar hands. The kissing became more urgent; their tongues smoothed over each other and then became more aggressive as they fought for dominance in the kiss. As Brittany's tongue pushed deeper in Santana's mouth she sucked it gently letting her lips massaging it, at the same time her hand massaged Brittany's breast.
The heat between Santana's legs became more and more evident.
She used her free hand to begin yanking at the Blondes' top, but taking a top off with one hand was a lot more difficult than she anticipated. Aware that Santana needed assistance, Brittany reached and pulled off her own top, briefly breaking apart the kiss.
Santana's eyes fluttered open, she needed to see Brittany. Sure the black laced bra was totally hot but without it, it would be much, much better. Santana stopped palming Brittany's breast and making a bold move, unclasped the bra. As the material slid off her shoulders Santana stopped breathing. She broke away from the kiss and stared at Brittany's beautiful bare breasts. Brittany's ears tinged a bright red.
'Brittany ... Are you embarrassed?' Santana said trying to project all the awe she felt through her eyes, Brittany blushed even more, her eyes darted away. 'Why? You're so beautiful.'
The look that came over Brittany's eyes could only be described as hungry. Santana found herself being pushed on to the bed as Brittany straddled her hips, giving a new (and spectacular) view of Brittany's boobs. Santana couldn't help herself; she immediately took a full breast in her hand and ran a thumb over the nipple.
'Oh, god,' Brittany moaned, grinding her hips down against Santana. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder and leant down to kiss Santana. Her tongue felt miraculous on Santana's, alternating between soft strokes and light sucking. The brunette braided her fingers in the blonde hair as Brittany placed a thigh firm between Santana's legs, Santana gasping when she pressed it up against her clit. They began to slowly rock into each other's hips, still half-clothed, the need for friction becoming too much.
All of a sudden Brittany rolled onto her back pulling Santana above her, their positions reversed.
'You,' Brittany mumbled between kisses, 'top off. Now.'
Not needing to be told twice Santana pulled her top off tossing it to the floor joining Brittany's there. She brought her hands behind her back but hesitated on her bra clasp.
'Why are you embarrassed?' Brittany asked, she held tightly on Santana's waist and gave it a small squeeze. 'You're so perfect.'
Santana felt the butterflies dance in her stomach. So freaking cute. She leaned over and placed both hands besides Brittany's head and kissed her hard. Brittany's hands found their way to Santana's bra and unclasped it. Slowly she tugged down the straps over Santana's shoulders, until Santana's breasts were exposed. Their bare breasts touched for the first time and Santana almost came right then and there.
'Oh fuck. Wow.' Santana said pulling away from the kiss. Brittany smiled at her, the corners of her eyes crinkling at the edges before reaching her head up to kiss Santana. Their hips continued colliding with each other, Brittany lifting her own desperately with each thrust Santana made as she curled into her.
Santana brought her lips down to Brittany's throat placing bite marks all over the skin there. Brittany's hand rubbed Santana's back as Santana pushed herself lower, kissing Brittany's collar bone, then the curve of her breast. The rocking slowed as she let her tongue drag alongthe curve of Brittany's breast.
'Santana.' Brittany sighed. She entangled her hand in Santana's hair guiding her on. Santana then took a nipple in her mouth and felt Brittany spasm beneath her, responding to the gentle strokes her tongue made over it. Santana's hands slid down the waistband of Brittany's shorts and she tugged them down to her knees, pausing to let Brittany kick them off. The blonde's hands assisted in taking off Santana's and soon, the only thing separating their naked bodies was the thin material of underwear.
And the nerves were back.
They stopped kissing. Santana was sure they both stopped breathing. This was it; this was the moment they would decide whether to take it all the way. She looked into Brittany's eyes, the most beautiful blue she had ever seen, searching for any reason why they should stop. All Santana saw in them was trust, and it she was sure reflected in her own. Brittany raised her neck to kiss Santana softly once.
'It's okay.' She whispered.
'I want you to know,' Santana said, her voice wavering. 'I want you to know, that this – you – mean so much to me. I so want this to be special.'
'It is, San. I know that.' Brittany said, 'You mean everything to me.'
And Santana's heart grew so much she thought it would explode. She really wanted to say it. Say the three words she knew could break or make her and Brittany. The words she had promised herself she would never say. But she wanted to say it before they did this, so Brittany would know it wasn't because she managed to get her off, not some spur-of-the-moment bullshit people always toss around during sex. No, she wanted Brittany to know she loved her genuinely.
'Britt, I -'
'Santana, I love you.' Brittany said it so simply, like it was obvious and natural and with such honesty it made Santana feel like she was hiding the sun inside of her chest and it was just warmth radiating from her heart. She felt like her bones had melted and everything was just tingly. She felt as if she was falling but somehow those words caught her and everything was suddenly a lot less terrifying. There was no way to fully explain the happiness Santana felt.
'Santana, you're crying.' Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion and worry. She reached up and brushed the tear away with her thumb.
'I am,' Santana breathed, 'it's just, Brittany, I – I love you, so much.'
Then they were kissing again, more slowly than before. This time the kisses were sweeter and slower, a bit more cautious, as if everything would crumble beneath them if they went too quick. Delicately they let their tongues fold into one another. Brittany wriggled her thumbs into the waistband of Santana's underwear; she took in a deep breath and slid it down Santana's smooth legs. Santana then took Brittany's off, carefully pulling it all the way down her long legs to her ankles, letting her hands glide softly against Brittany's thighs. Santana placed a soft kiss on Brittany's right ankle as she pulled her underwear off.
Now they were both completely naked, vulnerable.
Brittany had never looked so gorgeous in her life, Santana thought.
She crawled back up and found her way to Brittany's lips. With every kiss, she whispered I love you, in her mind. Santana then slipped her hand down, trailing down the blonde's stomach tracing a small pattern as her hand went down towards the heat between long pale hand paused, hovering over Brittany's mound.
'You okay?' Santana whispered.
'Yes, just please.' Brittany murmured.
Then, Santana watched Brittany's eyes expand and roll into the back of her head, as she dragged one finger lightly along the slick skin there, her mouth falling slightly open. She could feel the wetness pool over her fingers as she dragged her hand over Brittany's mound once more, cupping her sex.
'Oh.' Brittany's hips bucked against Santana's hand. Santana then dipped a finger inside Brittany's folds which earned her a very hot moan, the feeling of being inside of her was pure ecstasy. She began thrusting her finger deeper into Brittany. The whole time she watched Brittany's face contort in pleasure, she looked so fucking damn hot. She began a steady rhythm with her hand as Brittany rocked her hips in time.
'Oh god, Santana,' she squealed as Santana pressed her palm against Brittany's clit before slipping in a second finger. When a flash of pain crossed Brittany's face Santana tore her hand away.
'Are you okay?' Santana asked, terrified. Brittany's eyes snapped open, she looked almost angry.
'Don't stop.' Brittany said breathless, 'it feels so fucking good.'
Santana grinned and kissed Brittany, slipping her two fingers back inside her and continued the rhythm of her hand. She tried to take it slow but their kisses became sloppy and lazy as the Brittany's hips became frantic. They both settled to rest on each other's foreheads. The itch between Santana's legs became unbearable; she started grinding down on her own hand which drove her fingers deeper into Brittany.
'Brittany, fuck,' Santana groaned. Using her thumb, she began circling Brittany's clit while her body rocked into her hand and in turn, into Brittany's.
'Ohmygod yes,' Brittany's moan was muffled as she buried her face into the crook of Santana's neck, she was so close. Santana began picking up the pace, one final thrust of her hips and a palm pressed to Brittany's clit and -
'Santana!' Brittany screamed as she went over the edge, her muscles clenched around Santana's hand, she dug her nails hard into Santana's back as if holding on for her dear life, her whole body rocking with tremors of her orgasm. But Santana didn't slow down until she came undone herself, shortly after Brittany. Her body was writhing against the blonde's as she moaned Brittany's name over and over again. The feeling of their bodies so connected, was intoxicating. It was like an entire new bond was formed between them and it left Santana buzzing all over. Finally, Santana slowed down the pace of her fingers as she brought both of them back down.
They kissed passionately for a few more moments, Santana felt the heaving of Brittany's chest slow down with her own. She felt the thin sheen of their sweat sticking to their bodies, everything just felt so right. As if god had laid a hand and made them just for each other, their bodies co-ordinated and fit so well with each other.
'I love you.' Santana whispered as she held the blonde's gaze, stroking her hair back and praying that the full meaning of those words were understood by Brittany. She wished she could freeze this moment in time, it was just so damn perfect. Santana wished she could just lie like that forever, in Brittany's arms and feel each other's hearts beat with one another.
'I know,' Brittany smiled, 'I've always loved you.'