A/N Thanks to all those who reviewed 'Is This a Date?' This one is for you guys.
Another day at the new Colony 9 hospital, another day of deliveries and home visits. Sharla was the resident Homs expert and had taken on a great deal of responsibility. Unfortunately some people were completely oblivious to how important her job actually was and insisted on constantly pestering her with trivial matters that wasted valuable time.
"It's just an arachno," Sharla said, a tinge of exasperation in her tone.
"Sharl-a!" Reyn protested.
"So gods are fine but one little spider in your house and you have to come running to me?"
"It's not just a little spider! It's huge. And it has red eyes. And it's spinning a web. And I'm not going anywhere near it. Not by myself anyway."
"And what makes you think I am? I've got better things to do, Reyn!" Sharla gestured to the assorted medical supplies scattered around her, although she doubted it would really make much difference.
"Because I'm kind and lovely and thoughtful?"
"Are you now?"
"Yes. I spent all day yesterday collecting stuff for the hospital, didn't they tell you?"
"Well, if you were really kind and lovely you wouldn't show off about it."
"…I'm still not going home by myself while the spider's there."
"You'll have to wait for Shulk to come home then, won't you?"
"Ha ha, very funny," Reyn muttered without much enthusiasm.
Shulk had returned to his old ways of spending hours shut up in his lab. He left when Fiora or Reyn or somebody else physically dragged him away to eat and/or socialise. He was currently pulling apart salvaged High Entia technology in order to determine the way it worked and was obsessed with it the way he had once been obsessed with the Monado. He supposedly lived with Reyn but had been spending most nights slumped over his desk in the lab.
"I'm never going to be able to go home," whined Reyn.
Sharla checked the clock. Lunch time. Well, almost lunch time. And Reyn didn't look like he was leaving anytime soon.
"If I come and get rid of this spider with you, do you promise to leave me alone for the rest of the day?"
"Yeah! I swear on my life!"
"OK," she relented. "Wait here, I need to get my rifle."
Sharla shortly found herself standing in Reyn's hallway. It was a complete mess. Mud was smeared everywhere and there were many, many pairs of ruined shoes chucked haphazardly on the floor and left to rot.
"It's in the living room," whispered Reyn, jabbing a thumb towards the wooden door in front of them.
Sharla, sighed, hoisted up her rifle, and kicked the door open.
No spider. Lots of web but no spider. Sharla went in and whirled around, checking for movement. She looked up, the ceiling being a particular favourite of spiders and their ilk, but no luck.
"It's not here, Reyn," she said, lowering the rifle.
Maybe he chickened out, she thought.
She went back into the hallway.
Reyn was on the floor moaning. An extremely large arachno stood over him triumphantly, fangs sunk into his arm. Sharla lifted her rifle up and shot at it. In an extreme display of arachno acrobatics, the spider shot up to the ceiling on its web, smoothly dodging the bullet, and then launched itself at Sharla's face. Unused to fighting in such a confined area, Sharla had no choice but to slam herself flat against the wall in order to avoid the attack. Something cracked- Sharla hoped it was the wall and not her body. The arachno was now darting for her shin- Sharla shot again, missing the spider but not the floor, which now had a chunk missing.
"Sorry Reyn," she said.
The spider had other ideas and again went for Sharla's leg- probably to inject poison the same way it had with Reyn. Sharla gave up shooting and tried whacking it with the muzzle of her rifle. The spider made a kind of hissing noise and scuttled back.
"Ha!" said Sharla, and tried the same tactic again.
The spider decided it had had quite enough of that and promptly zipped off, so quickly that Sharla couldn't track its movement. It could be on to her in a second, she knew that. And if it got to her the same way it did Reyn, they were probably both lunch.
She shot the cure bullet at Reyn as quickly as she could, then turned her attention back to the spider.
It was flashing back and forth over the ceiling, as though trying to confuse her. Sharla shot at it. She had to hit eventually. Sure enough, she heard the hissing sound she'd heard before- and then the spider left her sight.
Reyn groaned and got to his feet, grabbing his weapon from where it had fallen beside him.
"Nice of you to join me," Sharla groused, but there was no real feeling behind it. She was too concerned about the spider.
It wasn't until later on that the true ridiculousness of the moment would hit them. They were stood back to back in a hallway riddled with bullet holes, being outwitted by an arachno. They, who had taken on gods and won (well…with a little help.)
The spider decided what it now wanted most to do was run round in circles, attempting to tie them up with thick, sticky web.
"Right," said Sharla, hoisting her rifle.
Reyn, not being one for subtlety, whacked the air where the spider had been as hard as he could with the grim determination he was most well known for. Apparently one of his attacks managed to hit. The spider stopped moving. Sharla went for a headshot.
And that was the end of the arachno.
"Yeah!" Reyn exclaimed, jumping up and punching the air. He then tripped over the remaining spider web and fell flat on his face, which somewhat ruined the effect. Sharla examined the bullet ridden hallway.
"Wow. Explaining this to Shulk is going to be a lot of fun. We wrecked his house."
"Nah, he'll just be glad I did the sensible thing by not trying to take on that arachno by myself."
"Yeah, I have to admit you were right to come and get me in this case. Don't think there'd be much I could do to help if you were half eaten."
"Thank you for that lovely mental image."
"I'm going back to work now."
"What? You're not going to help me tidy up?"
"Nope. I've fulfilled my end of the bargain. See ya."
Reyn surveyed the reams of web, the dead spider and the chipped plaster.