Disclaimer: I do not own Half-life 1, or 2. If I did, then this would be a lot more awesome.

Chapter 1: Say What?

Corporal Adrian Shepard examined his surroundings. Black and electric-green. Did electric-green exist? He didn't know. It seemed like it. The Vortigaunt things had been firing green electricity back in Black Mesa.

He saw a tinge of blue, black, white in a strange formation. It was Him. Walking towards Shepard like he had all the time in the world. He probably did. He seemed to be able to control reality.

His figure came into clearer focus. He spoke, the syllables perfectly pronounced.

"Corporal Shepard. We meet again."

"Where am I?" The Corporal asked.

The man looked around. "Where would you... prefer to be?"

Shepard pretended to think. "How about... Being alive?"

"Very well." his vision changed but He stayed in it, unmoving, brushing off imaginary dust and straightening his tie at regular intervals. He was seeing a black tower behind a dark-blue screen. He was immediately reminded of the dark tower in Lord Of The Rings. The tower he was looking at was taller. Much taller, and it wasn't circular. Shepard was wondering where the big fiery eye was as well.

He narrowed his eyes at Him. "Have you been reading J.R.R. Tolkien?"

He carried on speaking as if Shepard hadn't said anything. "Corporal Shepard... many things have changed during your... sleep. When the bomb at Black Mesa detonated, it only... engorged the portal and created more over... populated areas."

More portals? Over populated areas? That must have created the apocalypse. Shepard couldn't think about the death toll.

"It was slow at first, but... quickened when the portals opened... fully and they came." he put emphasis on the word 'they' but not with hatred. More like 'I know something you don't'.

"Who?" Shepard asked, puzzled by this.

The image changed. Black-suited soldiers with futuristic weapons and futuristic gas masks were walking past in legions, tanks and futuristic APCs rolling past, strange bug-like helicopter things flying around, raining blue bullets around upon the buildings and civilians.

"Them."

It was horrible. They were massacring the Human race. He recognised the Vortigaunts attacking the aliens. Wait. Vortigaunts? He remembered them trying to murder him and everyone else at Black Mesa. Why attack other aliens?

"The Vortigaunts were... slaves of the Nihilanth." What? "And now, you and Mr. Freeman are... needed in the world." A green flash of electricity. "The transition from here to Earth may be quite... uncomfortable."

That was a monumental understatement. Whitish purple flashed across his vision leaving only a eye hole to look through, covered with purple haze. A massive headache throbbed repeatedly though his head.

He saw a courtyard playground, like those you saw in a small village outside of cities.

The purple faded, leaving Shepard with a headache that suspiciously felt like a hangover. He hoped it was a hangover, and he'd just got drunk and imagined Him and Black Mesa... But it was too vivid. And he didn't have an imagination as good as that. He sighed inwardly. He'd just have to live with it.

Speaking of living at that moment, one of the gunship things he'd seen in that vision-thing (massive deja vu) was flying towards him. It let out a long shriek and fired those same high-powered bullets (not even gonna say deja vu... damn) flew in a line at him.

Faulty aiming? Shepard wasn't sure what that meant, but "run" was written all over every brainwave he had.

So he did that.

A bullet slammed into his back, but he still had his Marine uniform on, the vest taking the impact, so instead of dying, he was knocked off his feet. He instinctively rolled out of the way as more bullets slammed into the ground.

His hand went for the electricity gun instinctively, but hit the belt. He must have taken his weapons.

The gunship must have given up on him, because the shooting stopped, and it's continuing futuristic helicopter whining (Yes, that's right. No matter how fancy our technology gets, helicopters make deafening noises that sound like Percy Weasley in the shower. Don't ask me how I know that. It's a strange story involving portal guns, a black hole, and the multiverse. In other words, it's complicated.) faded. But something else that sounded more like a jet-plane came into existence.

Something came through into the open shed-thing. A black cylinder with green lasers coming out of both ends (the scan-type lasers) and as soon as one laser came in contact with Shepard's leg, smoke billowed out of both ends. The smoke somehow got through his gas-mask and he slipped into unconsciousness.

One thought crossed his mind in that time:

Oh shit.

I had a quick argument with my body.

The kidneys said no,

the head said no,

but I said yes; bring on the beer!

Anyways, goodbye from HMS Columbia!

*retires to HMS Columbia's gravity ring*