"For Me To Know" by Sammy
They woke up in each other's arms, the sun casting a light glow over them. Kate was the first to awake, seeing the sleeping Israeli in her arms. She smiled softly, sympathetically. The Indiana-born woman gently caressed her cheek, tears still staining it.
"Oh, Ziva." She murmured sorrowfully. She could not help but feel bad for her. Nightmares. She had said she still has nightmares. But, what are they about? Killing her brother? Kate did not know and she would come to find that she would wish she did not.
Ziva began to stir from her slumber, feeling a hand caressing her cheek. She opened her eyes, seeing Kate lying there beside her. She kept her face emotionless as she did so. Kate smiled slightly.
"Hi." Kate greeted. "Good morning."
Ziva smiled a bit at how soft and soothing the woman's voice was. It made her relaxed, feel as though nothing in the world was wrong.
"Hello. Good morning to you." Ziva replied.
"You were so peaceful asleep." Kate complimented. The NCIS agent could not help but smile.
"Thank you." Ziva murmured.
"Would you like to go back to sleep?" Kate asked. "I will stay with you."
Ziva smirked slightly, shaking her head.
"No, Caitlin. I have had enough sleep. But, uh, thank you. You are being rather kind to me, despite all that I had said to you."
Kate nodded, knowing this to be true. She could not help it. Ziva was such a lovely person, even though she had lashed out on her.
"Would you like to just lie here for a little while?" Kate suggested, seeming hopefully, almost desperate. Ziva thought about this for a moment and finally nodded, snuggling her head against Kate's chest. Then, something clicked in her brain. Her breasts were firm, they felt good. She could not comprehend the thoughts and emotions flowing through her at that very moment. She could only lie there, feeling comfort, warmth.
Kate got a pleasant look on her face, enjoying watching the woman. She allowed one hand to soothingly move up and down her back, which made Ziva hum contently. Kate wondered if she should tell Ziva. Secretly, for years now, she has had to come to terms with the fact that she was attracted to women. Not men. She tried to have relationships with them, but it was all in vain, for she was only doing this to please her parents and to uphold Catholic law. She hated it. She was not only lying to everyone around her, but she was lying to herself. She hated that. She despised that with every fiber of her being.
And then came Ziva. She was crazy, beautiful, sexy, she seemed smart, and she felt more than she let on. She liked this and so much more about the woman. Tell her. Just tell her. She will not mind. Would she? Kate took a deep breath, Ziva feeling her breasts move.
"Caitlin…" Ziva murmured.
"Yes?" Kate asked, brushing a bit of hair out of her heart shaped face.
Ziva shook her head. "Nothing."
Kate felt a shudder of ecstasy as Ziva's head moved against her breasts. She bit onto her bottom lip, resisting her urges. This was something Kate had been used to, and had gotten better at in time. She kept asking herself: How would it look if people knew I was gay? A Secret Service agent? An NCIS agent? Dead woman walking? Catholic school girl?
It was Kate who now shook her head. She felt pathetic and stupid for being like this. A coward. This was cowardice. This was something which contradicted everything that she had shown as an officer of the law. She could not hold it back any longer. She had to tell. She had to tell Ziva.
"Ziva, can I tell you something?" Kate asked, feeling nervousness flow through her. It showed in her voice. Ziva, looking up at the woman, blinked attentively.
"Yes, of course." She replied, grinning. "What is it?"
Kate took another breath. This was it; the moment of truth.
"Well, um, uh… I am… I am gay." Kate confessed. The woman was surprised by Ziva's reaction. Her face lit up lit up with intrigue. She did not see this coming, yet it was a pleasant surprise, nonetheless.
"Wow! That is amazing." Ziva said, unable to help herself as she expressed how she truly felt about the confession.
"You… approve?" Kate asked, shocked.
"Well, I would be a hypocrite not to." Ziva said, chuckling slightly. This made Kate raise an eyebrow.
"What?" Kate asked. Ziva looked down a bit. "Ziva?"
She looked back up, blinking her chocolate brown eyes.
"I am bisexual… but it's never ever worked with me and men." She said, pursing her lips only slightly afterwards.
"Oh!" Kate exclaimed, not expecting to hear this. "I did not know."
"No one other than you does." Ziva admitted almost shamefully. This made Kate frown somewhat.
"I am sorry. I know what that is like." Kate sympathized.
"I bet. You being Catholic and all, I would assume this came between you and your family, correct?" Ziva asked, her accent thickening. Kate nodded.
"When my parents had found out about the girlfriend I had as a teenager, they told me it was just a phase and that I would get over it. I have buried the feelings ever since."
Ziva nodded. "And now? Do you feel for anyone?"
Kate could not help but smirk, and she grinned. "Yeah."
"And who might that be?" Ziva asked slyly.
"That is for me to know… and for you to maybe find out."