Hermia had had it up to there with her meddling father. Love…what did he know about it? All she wanted to do was marry Davy and be done with it, but her father, the Duke Theseus of Athens, was flatly forcing her to marry that loser Demetrius instead! The poor, frankly pissed-off girl stomped over to the throne room where her father, Theseus; his betrothed Hippolyta (who was the Queen of the Amazons), Davy, and Demetrius stood.
"Well, it's about time you got here!" exclaimed Theseus. "Now Hermia, explain yourself! How do you expect me to believe that you love…that—that—how can I even put it? That Davy?"
"Because I do father, any further explanation?" said Hermia, growing more and more unhappy. "Honestly, why do you ask so much?"
"Because my dear daughter, Demetrius, is…well…" said Theseus.
"I'm taller than him for one!" said Demetrius, giving Davy the "ha ha, I got you!" look from the corner of his eye.
"Hey, knock it off you, at least I'm not a loser!" snapped Davy. Davy Jones was rather short, but he had the thick dark hair and sweet dark eyes to make up for it.
"But father, I don't love Demetrius!" protested Hermia. "Please let me marry Davy, at least we love each other!"
"Hermia, listen to your father," said Hippolyta absentmindedly, obviously not really wanting to get involved.
"Oh, stop, you're not my real mother," Hermia muttered. Theseus heard her and eyed her dangerously. It wasn't long before another grown man stomped in the room, looking just as frustrated as anyone else.
"Well, seems I'm just causing all the trouble here!" said Davy.
"Well, I'll tell you I've had it up to here with all of this!" said the man, Egeus. "This blasted love triangle…my daughter, my crazy daughter is in love with Demetrius!"
"Oh, well like that's anything new!" said Davy.
"You see father, I can't, I just can't!" whined Hermia once again.
"Silence you!" boomed Theseus. "Hermia, I really didn't want it to come to this, but it's either you marry Demetrius, or by the Athenian law, you will be executed!"
"But father!" screamed Hermia. "You wouldn't have me killed, I'm your daughter!"
"Now surely this is a bit harsh," said Hippolyta.
"I wish it were," said Theseus, "but it's the law."
"You must be joking! Now hold on there Theseus!" said Davy. "You can't go and kill her just because she doesn't want to marry Demetrius, it's wrong it is!"
"Oh, cool it you," said tall, cool, Demetrius. "Short stuff, you don't have what it takes to please a woman like Hermia. Let me have her. Who knows? Maybe you'll grow on Helena and I'll finally have her off my back!"
"Oh, come on Demetrius," said Davy. "You have Hermia's father's love, at least let me have Hermia's love!"
"Not a chance shorty," said Demetrius. "Come on Hermia baby, let's get outta here, we'll go look for your wedding dress, what do you say?"
"Not a chance buster," said Hermia.
"Hermia, did you not hear me?" asked Theseus. "It's either marry Demetrius, or die! Or you could join a nunnery…"
"I say just force her to marry Demetrius right here!" said Egeus. "I'm sick of this!"
"There's no way I will be doing any of that," growled the dark-haired girl. "I'm in love with Davy."
"I'd rather die than abandon Hermia to that loser," said Davy, looking straight at Demetrius.
"Fine…you will change your minds yet," said Theseus. "Come Hippolyta, let us leave. Demetrius, Egeus?" Everyone but Hermia and Davy very grumpily left the room.
"Oh Hermia, don't look so upset," said Davy, taking Hermia's hand. "Look, we'll get out of this spot of trouble, I promise you!"
"Oh Davy, it's just all so stupid!" said Hermia. "Honestly, what did you ever do to my father to have him hate you so much? And besides, Demetrius was with Helena before this mess started. What did I do to deserve his affections?"
"Being pretty," said Davy, winking. "It's a curse, trust me, I know."
Hermia laughed. One of the many reasons she loved Davy; he sure was funny! "I just wish there was a way that we could get married Davy. I can't believe my father would have me killed if I don't agree to marry Demetrius!"
"I know, it's bloody unfair," said Davy. "Hey…wait…what if we run away together, out of Athens and away from the law!"
"But won't that be dangerous?" asked Hermia.
"Oh, will it!" exclaimed Davy. "We can get married outside of Athens and live, and you won't have to worry about Demetrius ever again! I love you Hermia, and I only want you to be happy."
"Oh, Davy, if that's what it's gonna take, then yes, I'll do it!" said Hermia. Davy grabbed her and kissed her deeply. "I love you Davy, and I will follow you," said Hermia after they parted.
"And I you," said Davy. "Hey, look, it's Helena!" The tall blonde girl flounced towards the couple, dwarfing both of them with her height.
"Hello Helena," said Hermia. "You look rather nice today."
"Oh, sure you say that, but you don't mean it!" said Helena dramatically. "I will only be beautiful on the day that Demetrius comes back to me! But no, he loves you Hermia, and I'm just an insignificant little girl! How did it go today by the way…my father didn't look too happy."
"The more I push him away, the more he loves me," said Hermia. "And now my father's telling me that it's either death of the nunnery for me if I choose to marry Davy."
"That's horrible!" said Helena. "Oh, why does Demetrius love you so? You must teach me what you do!"
"I don't know what it is," said Hermia. "But Helena, after tonight, he will see me no more! Davy and I are fleeing Athens so we may marry!"
"Yeah, come later on tonight, we're history!" said Davy. "Just…don't tell anyone, would ya Helena?"
"Oh, no, not a soul!" said Helena. "Hermia, maybe with you gone, Demetrius will see me again at last!"
"That's the spirit Helena," said Davy. "Come on Hermia, let's get out of here before anyone comes back and finds out anything."
"Right," said Hermia. "I shall see you again Helena, don't you worry!" The lovers rushed out of the palace hand in hand and into the night, leaving Helena alone in the room.
"Oh my…how does Hermia do it?" asked Helena to herself. "She has the love of two perfectly good men, yet I have none…oh, what I would give to be her! But whatever should I do? There's no way I can be her…I had Demetrius' love once, and I can have it again. Oh—I know! I'll tell him that her and Davy are running off! He's so lovestruck, he'll have to follow her, and maybe, just maybe, if I come along and accompany him, he'll fall for me again…" Somewhat more satisfied, the scheming, lovestruck girl went off as well.
Somewhere elsewhere in Athens, yet another part of the story was brewing.
"Mickey Dolenz!" yelled Quince, the leader of the acting troupe who was slowly losing his patience. "For the last time, you will be playing no other part but Pyramus, the God-damned lead role! Is that not good enough for you?"
"Oh, come on Quince baby, you know I'm too good for just one role," said Mickey, the actor. He was of medium height, had narrow, dark eyes, a sharp chin, and a mop of floppy brown hair. He had been causing some trouble in the production of the play, a comedic "Pyramus and Thisby," that was to be put on at the wedding on Theseus and Hippolyta by of course wanting to make it a one-man show. "Let me play the beautiful Thisby," squeaked Mickey in his highest voice possible. "I can look like a totally groovy chick! Or the lion! Man, I can play a mean lion, it'll be groovy! RAWRRRR!" Mickey's tremendous roar made the entire company jump out of their skins.
"No Mickey," said Quince, rubbing his temple, trying to remain calm. "You will play Pyramus, and Pyramus only. Is that clear?"
"Oh come on man, I can play three roles easy, just gimme a chance, you won't regret it!" said Mickey.
"No Mr. Dolenz," said Quince. Ignoring any more of Mickey's protests, the troupe's leader motioned for the group to start rehearsal later on at the Duke's Oak.
"And we shall rehearse most diligently!" exclaimed Mickey dramatically. He slammed his fist on the table for impact, but instead hurt himself rather badly. "Oww…" he moaned, clutching his hand.
"That will do Mickey," said Quince. "I shall see everyone later."
"And I will blow all of you out of the water!" said Mickey walking off, hands in pockets. Little did Mickey know that something going on at that very moment in the forest would indeed blow him out of the water.
Young Peter Tork bounded happily through the forest when he came upon a fairy from the Fairy King's court. "Hey there sir!" said Peter. Peter was a lanky young man with long, silky dirty blond hair and big tawny eyes. His smile made dimpled as he grinned at the fairy.
"Hey there kid," said the fairy. "Say…are you that guy they call the mischievous Robin Goodfellow?"
"I haven't the foggiest idea who Robin Goodfellow is," said Peter, frowning. "But I will tell you that I'm the guy they call the mischievous Peter Tork!"
"Oh, yeah, that was it," said the fairy. "Sorry, don't know how I got all that confused, I must be bad at names."
"Oh, that's okay sir," said Peter. "I've just been searching around for something to do, ya know, some tricks and whatnot, but I just can't seem to find anything! Maybe I should check Sparta…Oh, look, here comes the Fairy King!"
Indeed, the Fairy King, otherwise known as Mike Nesmith stomped up with his nagging wife Titania. Mike was even taller than Peter and had a thick head of black, sideburned hair on which he wore a green wool hat. He looked very unhappy as Titania talked at him.
"Oh, Mike, I just can't believe you!" she screamed at him. "You're being a selfish, horrible brute, you know that?"
"For God's sake woman, I am your husband!" yelled Mike with a gruff Texas drawl (in Athens Greece?). "Stop nagging at me, what on earth do you want from me?"
"Give me the mortal kid and we'll call it even," said Titania.
"What? Hey, no chance lady, that kid's as good as my henchman," said Mike. "Do you know what I can train him to do?"
"I want to raise him though!" shouted Titania. "Oh, Michael, you're being such a prick, I'm out of here!"
"Give me the boy and I'll come with you!" shouted Mike after his wife, but she had already gone off. "Well this is great…"
"What's wrong King Mike!" said Peter from behind Mike, previously unnoticed by the King.
Mike yelped and jumped to see Peter behind him. "Peter! Don't do that!"
"Sorry your majesty," said Peter, attempting a bow but instead nearly falling flat on his face. "So what was that all about with Titania?"
"Remember that human kid she found?" started Mike. "Yeah, well she wants to raise him, and I want to have him be my henchman! It's a dang mess!"
"I'd say," said Peter.
"Man, Pete, don't ever get married, it's a curse ya know!" said Mike.
"Anything I can do to help?" asked Peter.
"Well…as a matter of fact…" started Mike. "Peter, you remember that little clearing in the woods we went to a while back, right?"
"Yeah!" said Peter, nodding vigorously.
"Remember that little purple flower?" asked Mike.
"Yeah!" said Peter, nodding so hard that Mike was afraid that poor Peter's head would fall of his shoulders.
"Now Peter, I'm gonna ask you to do something that you could not possibly mess up, so listen carefully," said Mike. Peter was paying his utmost attention. "I need you to get that little purple flower, grind it down into a juice, and when my dear ol' wife Titania is sleeping, dab that juice on her eyelids, and she'll fall in love with the first thing she sees!" said Mike, pleased with himself.
"I'll do just that!" said Peter.
"Oh, I can't wait to see what vile creature she jumps on!" said Mike with a big ol' grin.
"Just promise me one thing," said Peter.
"What's that?" asked Mike.
"Don't let it be me," said Peter, pulling a face. "I don't very much like her; she yells too much."
"Just be careful Peter," said Mike. "And go, quickly!"
"I'll put a girdle around the earth in forty minutes!" shouted Peter.
"What in the world does that mean?" asked Mike.
"I'll be quick," said Peter. With that, Peter zipped off into the woods in search of the little purple flower. With Peter's leave came two Athenian people; Helena and Demetrius.
"Oh, Demetrius, can't you see I love you?" pleaded Helena. Mike watched intently from far away.
"Yes Helena, I can see that, but just leave me be!" said Demetrius. "You're annoying, and I love only Hermia!"
"But Hermia loves only Davy!" shouted Helena. "Trust me Demetrius, the more you push me away, the more I will love you!"
"Oh, shut up!" shouted Demetrius. "When I find Hermia, and trust me, I will, I will woo her once and for all and she'll have to be mine. Just do us all a favor and leave now!"
"I will do no such thing!" yelled Helena.
"Listen Helena, I do not love you, and in fact, it makes me sick to look upon you!" said Demetrius.
"But I am sick when I cannot look upon you!" said Helena.
"Oh, I've had enough of this," said Demetrius. He stormed off into the woods, leaving Helena in the dust. Helena looked just about ready to cry as she tried to keep up with the man she loved.
"Interesting," muttered Mike. Peter popped back up, holding the purple flower. "Good job Pete, you didn't mess this one up!"
"Well, flower picking's easy, I do it all the time!" said Peter proudly. He handed Mike one of the flowers.
"Good," said Mike. "Now, I need you to do something else…while you were gone, a young man and woman came by. The chick was crazy, just crazy about the guy, but the guy just wasn't having it. Now, you know how much I hate to see such a girl as pretty as that one get turned down, right?"
"So you want me to find them and put the juice on the man's eyes, right?" asked Peter.
"That's right," said Mike. "You'll recognize them when you see them, they're dressed like Athenians. Now go, hurry, before the couple makes it out of here!"
"Right away your majesty!" said Peter, bounding out of Mike's sight. Mike gripped the flower and headed over to where he saw his wife peacefully sleeping.
"Oh boy Titania, are you gonna just love this," said Mike, spreading the love-juice on her closed eyelids. "Just play nice now, cause they may not like you!" With that, Mike hurried away, careful not to wake Titania from her slumber.
Elsewhere in the forest, Hermia and Davy trudged on, exhausted. "Man Hermia, we've been walking for hours," said Davy, stopping in his tracks. "It's getting late, maybe we should get some sleep."
"Good idea Davy," said Hermia. "I'm going to go sleep over by the bank, who don't you find yourself a nice spot?"
"Well, what about this Hermia?" said Davy, putting his arm around his lady. "I can find my nice spot over by the bank, with you." He winked, but Hermia drew back.
"No Davy, don't be silly," said Hermia. "We're not married yet, and being together like that, well, one thing leads to another. I'd rather not."
"Oh, come on baby, it won't hurt a bit to be close tonight!" said Davy. "Trust me, I won't touch ya, whatcha say about that, ay?"
"It's still a 'no' Davy," said Hermia, making herself comfortable by the bank by the rushing stream. "You may not be tempted, but with a guy like you next to me? Boy would I!"
"Oh, but darling, I would be lost without you to cradle my head on your sweet, soft bosom!" said Davy, his arms outstretched. "My love, my one and only! Please don't let me be apart from you tonight!"
"Davy Jones, go sleep over there, and when we are married, we will lie together all you want," said Hermia, turning her back on Davy as she rolled over to rest.
"Alright Hermia love, but don't forget your promise!" joked Davy, resting his back on a tree trunk. Before long the two were fast asleep.
Peter snuck through the woods looking for the two young Athenians when he came across the sleeping Hermia and Davy. "Those must be the couple that Mike was talking about!" exclaimed Peter quietly as not to wake them. "They're dressed accordingly, and what's the chance that two other Athenians would be in the woods?" He approached the sleeping Davy, oblivious to the horrible mistake he was about to make.
"He's rather short…but I guess small people need love too!" said Peter as he rubbed the love-juice on Davy's closed eyelids. "And the chick's out of sight! Come on man, you gotta love her!" Peter heard a small rustle and he raced off, eager to tell Mike what a great job he just did!
As Peter left, Helena came storming after Demetrius into the clearing where Hermia and Davy were sleeping. "Oh, Demetrius, please don't go," huffed Helena, out of breath from the chase.
"I've had enough of this," said Demetrius. "You can chase me if you want, but I'm outta here."
"No, don't leave!" said Helena, but Demetrius had already left. Helena cursed, and then she noticed that she was in the company of the sleeping Hermia and Davy. Helena's curse may have been too loud, because Davy's eyes began to flicker open. "Hello Davy," said Helena. "How is your luck with getting out of town with Hermia?"
"Hermia?" said Davy with what sounded to Helena's surprise disgust. "I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole! Oh my…Helena…you're beautiful…I think I…I…love you darling."
Helena's stomach dropped what felt like ten feet. "Oh no…Davy, you can't possibly!" she said. "This must be a joke! You love Hermia, you ran off with her to get married!"
"I told you my sweet, sweet Helena," said Davy standing up. "I love you, and only you. Never before have I laid my eyes on such a radiant beauty." He reached out to touch Helena's cheek, but she swiped his hand away.
"Oh, now you're just mocking me for Demetrius for not loving me, I see what this is Davy!" shouted Helena. "That's awful of you, I thought you were better than this!"
"I can only be better with you, my love, my darling, my Helena," said Davy.
"Oh, just leave me alone!" shouted Helena, rushing off deeper into the woods in search of Demetrius.
"Wait, come back my love!" called Davy, going after her, leaving Hermia alone.
"Oh, Davy, I just had this crazy dream, and—" she stopped short, looking around. "Davy? Davy, where are you? Oh no…"
On the outskirts of the wood, by the Duke's Oak, the acting troupe waited to rehearse. Mickey vigorously read through his lines with more cheese than an Italian market. "Are we all here?" asked Quince, interrupting Mickey's reading.
"Yes, we are all here," said Mickey. "Man, can we start this thing yet, I'm itching to do this, it's gonna be golden baby, golden!"
"Oh, for your sake I hope so," said Quince. "Alright men, let's get a start." From a distance, Peter was watching the rehearsal, still looking for a foul thing to place in front of Titaina.
"I have never seen Pyramus played this odd," said Peter, taking note of Mickey's exuberant, dramatic performance. It was then that he noticed Mickey walking over to his general direction into the wood. A mischievous grin appeared on Peter's face. This was it.
Mickey was in and out of the wood in just a couple of moments. He thought he hears something, but it was just a rustle. Damn these woods…upon his return, however, Quince and the troupe froze and started to scream.
"Geez guys, what's the matter?" asked Mickey, not understanding a thing. Quince pointed a shaking finger at him, wide-eyed and lost for words. "Wow, you know, the way you all are looking for me you'd think I sprouted a third eye!" Mickey did indeed sprout something, but it was more like lots of facial hair and a long pair of donkey ears. Of course, he was clueless to that fact. The troupe and Quince darted off in all directions for a reason Mickey didn't understand, so he just wandered off into the woods, singing a merry tune.
"Oh, sing some more cutie," said a female voice behind Mickey. Mickey jumped and turned around. Indeed, it was Titaina, Queen of the Fairies, awake and of course madly in love with the first thing she saw, Mickey Dolenz with donkey ears.
"Uh…what did you say?" asked Mickey, shocked to see a woman that beautiful eyeing him.
"Sing again, you handsome man," said Titaina. "You have the voice of an angel!"
"Well, that I do," said Mickey, laughing nervously. "Now…uh…ma'am, what's your name?"
"Titaina, my love," said the Queen. "And yours, my love?"
"Uh…Mickey, Mickey Dolenz," said Mickey, advancing on the lovely Titaina.
"Oh, such a sweet name," said Titaina. She clapped twice, and before Mickey could d or say anything, he was swept up by fairy servants and into a bed of flowers and vines with Titaina. "Be kind to this wonderful man," said Titaina to her servants, who took heed. "Now my love, we shall spend this moment together for all eternity!"
"Oh, my dear sweet Titaina, we shall!" said Mickey, as if he were reading a line from a play. Oh, could he get used to this!
In a different part of the woods, Mike stood waiting on Peter to return. He did, and with a look of great pleasure on his face. "Did ya do it?" asked Mike eagerly.
"Yeah!" said Peter. I found the Athenians you told me about, took care of that, and then I gave an actor donkey ears, and Titaina'a in love with him now!"
Mike didn't even care to ask where Peter found an actor—this was too good to be true! "Oh man Pete, you did good man, too good!" said Mike. "I can't wait to actually see this ass-eared actor." There was some commotion and shouting. Mike and Peter laid low and took heed.
"Come on Hermia baby, he obviously doesn't love you anymore, just come back to Athens with me and we'll marry!" said Demetrius, following Hermia.
"No Demetrius, Davy does love me, he didn't leave me, you killed him!" screamed Hermia. "Where did you hide him?"
"Wait…" said Peter. "That's the same chick, but the guy…oh no…" Mike eyed him dangerously.
"Hermia, for the last time, I didn't kill Davy!" said Demetrius. "And I don't know where he could be!"
"Oh, Demetrius, how can you say you love me when you act this way?" asked Hermia, near tears. "If you won't tell me where he is, I'm going to look for him myself!" She stormed off in search of Davy, leaving Demetrius in the dust.
"Crazy woman," said Demetrius. "I'll let her let some steam off…but I love her anyway." The man lay down and slept, obviously very tired.
"God, Peter, how in the world did you louse that up!" hissed Mike, ready to smack Peter across the woods. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
"I'm sorry Mike!" said Peter. "Look, you said I could recognize them for their clothes, I had no idea that two other Athenians could be walking around too!"
"Man, whatever Peter," said Mike. "You still have the flower?"
"Got it right here," said Peter.
"Alright," said Mike, trying to keep his head. "Just…go over to the sleeping one and put the juice on his eyes, I hear the other two coming over." Peter rushed over to Demetrius and spread the juice on his eyelids. Just as Peter got out of the way, Davy, who was chasing Helena came into view.
"Oh, just stop it Davy, stop!" screamed a hysterical Helena. "I know you're still in love with Hermia, you're just making fun of me, you hate me!"
"No my dear, why would I make fun of you," said Davy. "You're the light of my life Helena, and it's not you I hate, but Hermia!"
"Oh, this is ridiculous!" shouted Helena. "I love Demetrius, not you Davy!"
"Ah, but Demetrius loves Hermia, not you!" said Davy. "Just give in Helena, you can't say I'm not charming." He winked at the now fuming Helena.
"I beg to differ," said an awakening Demetrius. "I do not love Hermia…not any more. I never knew love until I laid my eyes on that beautiful Helena."
Helena shrieked in frustration. "Oh, not you too Demetrius!" she shouted.
"Hey, watch it, I saw her first!" said Davy.
"Oh, why are you too doing this to me?" asked Helena, hysterical. "Demetrius, you know that I love you, why would you mock me like this? I know you have no love for me! This is cruel guys, just stop it? What have I ever done to either of you?"
"Yeah Demetrius, you love Hermia, just let me have Helena," said Davy.
"Oh, come on Davy, Hermia?" said Demetrius. "Nah, you keep her, I long for this tall, blonde beauty Helena." At that moment, Hermia appeared, looking a mixture of flustered and relieved.
"Oh, Davy, I found you, finally!" she said. "My love, why do you look so unhappy?"
"Me and Demetrius are fighting over Helena, that's why," said Davy. "Now just stand over there, your face is ruining the moment."
"Wait…Davy, what are you saying?" asked Hermia.
"Oh, I think you know exactly what he's saying Hermia!" snapped Helena. "You're in on this too, are you not?"
"In on what?" asked Hermia, confused.
"You and these two—boys!—are here to mock me, my loveless self!" said Helena. "Just knock of the charade boys, you're making me go mad! Just leave me and my single self alone!"
"Helena, I would do no such thing!" said Hermia.
"Nah Helena baby, this ain't a charade, I love you, I really do," said Davy. "And Hermia can just go jump off a cliff, how bout that?"
"Oh, she can jump alright!" said Helena. "As short as she is, she'll need to jump to reach anything!"
"Hey love, what's wrong with being short?" asked Davy, taken aback.
"Well, a lot of things," said Demetrius. "You, my dear Davy, will not be able to reach tall Helena's lips to kiss!"
"I beg to differ!" said Davy. He stood on tiptoe to try and kiss Helena, but she pushed him away into Demetrius, starting a fight between all four. The argument went on forever, and through all of it Mike and Peter stood watching, both with their faces in their hands, eyeing the mess that both of them created.
"Hey, listen shorty," said Davy to Hermia. "I gotta get out of here, don't follow me."
"You won't leave without me!" yelled Demetrius. He ran off, leaving Davy to chase him.
"I really hope you're happy with yourself Hermia!" shouted Helena, running off in tears.
"I am amazed and don't know what to say," said Hermia, baffled. She walked off as well.
"Well, this is a right mess," said Mike. "Peter, how do you manage to mess everything up like this?"
"I only did what you told me to do, okay Mike?" said Peter.
"I'm sure this can be fixed, although I'm gonna beat you later," said Mike. "Wait till they're asleep again and take those berries from that tree over there and crush them over the Athenian's eyes…and my wife's as well…they'll wake as this was all a dream. Can I trust you with that one Peter?"
"I will not mess this one up!" said Peter. He found the exhausted young Athenians all asleep in a clearing and crushed the berried over their eyes. Finally, all of this drama, this comedy of errors, would let up. He then left in search of Titaina and Mickey. When he did, he found them ready to go to bed.
"Lay here with me Mickey, my large-eared love," cooed Titaina, stroking Mickey's face.
"Well…that's an odd pet name, but nevertheless, I shall, my sweet," said Mickey.
"Would you care for some music?" asked Titaina. "Or perhaps something to eat?"
"No, my love, for I have all I need right here," said Mickey in his dramatic actor way.
"Then let us sleep my dear," said Titaina. "Till the morning comes, my sweet!"
"I shall await to see your lovely face in the morn!" sung Mickey before the "lovers" fell asleep. Peter took this as his chance and crushed the berries on both of their eyes, under the careful watch of Mike.
"Something eating you Mike?" asked Peter.
"Well…it's just through all of this…" said Mike. "It's really making me realize how much I really love her. I was just mad at her, that's all. I married her for a reason…I love her."
"Well, I'll leave you then," said Peter, grinning. He took off right as Titaina was awaking.
"Mike?" she asked sleepily. "Man, I had the weirdest dream…I was in love with an ass or something…"
"Yeah, he's an ass alright," said Mike. Titaina looked to her side where Mickey was still sleeping.
"Oh man what an ugly thing!" hissed Titaina.
"Hey lady, what do you say you and I go somewhere?" said Mike.
"Only if I can keep the human boy," said Titaina.
"That and more my darlin'," said Mike. He took his wife's hand and led her off deep into the woods. In the clearing where Hermia, Davy, Helena, and Demetrius slept, who but Theseus, Egeus, and Hippolyta should appear.
"Do my eyes deceive me?" said Theseus. The four young Athenians awoke, shocked and afraid to see what was before them.
"Oh, I'm sorry father, but this is the way it is," said Hermia. "I can't marry Demetrius."
"Just tell me what happened," said Theseus.
"Well, you see," started Davy. "Hermia didn't wanna marry Demetrius, she wanted to marry me, so we stole off to the woods to get away from Athens and its law so we could marry without the pain of Hermia's death…and…I can't really remember the rest…if that at all makes sense to you that is."
"Man, that's enough," said Egeus. "Demetrius, my Helena's just crazy over you, and Hermia's…well…not…so you have my blessing to be her husband."
"Oddly enough…" said Demetrius, "I'll accept that. I seem to, under reasons I can't seem to recall, fallen in love with Helena." The look on Helena's face couldn't have been more ecstatic.
"Well Hermia," said Theseus. "I guess that if Demetrius is taken by another, it would only be fair to have you marry who you want. You may have Davy Jones as your husband."
"Oh, Davy!" shouted Hermia. The two embraced and kissed deeply, as were Helena and Demetrius.
"I think it's only fair to have three weddings today, then," said Hippolyta. The young Athenians and their elders rushed off to ready themselves for their weddings.
"You see Hermia, I told you it would work out!" said Davy.
"Yes Davy, you sure did," said Hermia. "Although…I'm not sure how…"
"But who cares?" asked Davy. "I love you Hermia."
"And I you Davy," said Hermia." The kissed again and rushed over to join the rest of their group.
Deeper in the wood, Mickey was waking up, his face back to normal. "Man, how in the world did I get over here?" he asked himself. "Wow did I have the weirdest dream…I thought I had…" he reached up to his head, but only felt his head of thick hair. "Man, it couldn't be! Oh well…Wait! The play, the wedding! It's today! Oh man, I've gotta get out of here! But boy do I have to remember that dream!" Mickey rushed off to the palace where the wedding was. Through all of this mess, everyone was glad to have a happy ending, although most of them didn't even remember what the start was! Three happy couples were wed, Mickey put on the greatest interpretation of Pyramus anyone had ever seen, and Mike led on a happy life with his loving wife, Titaina. Peter was happy with things too. He and Mike stood in the back of the room at the triple wedding.
"Well isn't this sweet?" said Mike. "I tell ya, we did good pal."
"Very much," said Peter.
"Well, things are winding down," said Mike. "I'm gonna split, the wife's expecting me."
"Catch ya later Mike," said Peter. Mike left and Peter was standing all alone. To no one in particular, he started to speak:
"If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Peter,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Peter a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Tork shall restore amends."
As much as I love the Pyramus and Thisby play at the wedding in the original version, I didn't add it for length's sake (this is pretty long already!), and because I feel like that is sacred ground that The Beatles already tread on