Hey long time no update rite? Well sorry about that!

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or Fall out Boy.

Recap: I decided I should probably lay down before there done.

Fuck My Life.


Why is my life fucked up?

That's the major question I always ask myself.

I couldn't take the pressure, from everything that has gone on, I couldn't take it

As I retreated back to the bathroom again for the millionth time today, my cellphone buzzed sowing I got a text message from my boyfriend Logan.

(to anyone who cares this is the same exact text messages my ex-boyfriend and me sent)

From: Logie(=

Im sorry


Why? You haven't don't anything.


Im breaking up with you PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELF.


Why are you?


Im sorry

And I didn't reply.

What the hell, he won't give me a reason.

That was it, I was done.

I guess that was the straw that finally broke the camel's back.

Since I was in the bathroom, I did what came first as instinct I searched for something sharp.

As I searched everywhere and through every drawer, I remembered Pete saying something about shaving like an old man with detachable blades, so I looked through Pete's cabinet in the bathroom.

As I opened the black cabinet I looked through every shelf, passing all the medications and occasional cough drop, I finally stopped on the shiny glory placed carefully next to a folded note.

Jumping with joy I quickly grabbed the blade, while in the process of dropping the note into the sink.

Not wanting to get caught I picked the note up and was about to put in back into its original location when curiosity killed the cat.

In a rush of curiosity I pulled the carefully folded note open showing the neatly written words "Death note", which caused my breathing to hitch.

Pete you motherfucker, well I guess it's the night of dec.24.

Don't fool yourself, Patrick would never love you.

Well you told yourself if Patrick hadn't shown interest in you by now you'd end it this time for good not like the last time, see the blades waiting.

Pete's going to kill himself tonight, over Patrick.

Becoming more depressed over the whole concept that love is horrible to people I brought the blade up to my juggler vain and pressed down.

Just as I began to move the blade the bathroom door swung open, leaving Joe and Patrick standing there with eyes bulging out.

"Katie" Joe said in a careful voice.

I didn't respond, I simply put my head down with the note in my hands in shame.

"Katie, what's that? "Patrick questioned as he pointed to the open letter securely in my hands.

What I am I supposed to say? 'Hey Pete loves you'

I couldn't do that to Pete he was nice to Kendall and I.

Before I could spit out a proper response Joe had taken the note out of my hands and read it.

"Don't fool yourself, Patrick would never love you."

"Who's that from?" Patrick asked as he carefully took the blade out of my hands, which added to the feeling of me being a failure.

Joe looked up at Patrick with a look I could not tell if it was bad or good.

"Fix this, NOW!" Joe screamed.

"Joe, fix what?"

Joe the proceeded shove the note into Patrick's face, causing Patrick to read the note faster.

Once Patrick was done reading the note he began to cry/rant loudly.

"He thinks I don't care! I care so much! When he overdosed and didn't tell us I cried for hours on end hoping that he would be ok,ive always loved that freaking idiot,I just never thought he played for the other team!" Patrick screamed as he punched the small mirror with fury.

I didn't say anything.

"Thank you Katie." Patrick said softly

"What for?" I responded.

"everything" Patrick said as he eloped me in a huge.

"Katie, you helped me realize that my true love is waiting." Patrick said as he jumped up.

"MY TRUE LOVE IS WAITING!" Patrick screamed as he ran leaving.

"At least that's one of us." I mumbled softly, causing Joe to look at me with weird face.

"Katie, are you ok?" Joe asked as he grabbed my hand pulling me through the door ways which lead to his bedroom.

As I fell to the bed I mumbled back a reply.

"What?" he questioned.

"Look, Logan broke up with me, ok!" I replied becoming furious.

Joe didn't reply.

He sat down next to and put his hands on my face.

"Katie, you're a beautiful person and I don't want to see you try to kill yourself ever again you hear me." Joe said as he leaned in and kissed me gently.

I didn't think about what Joe was doing, I deserved to have some fun after all, right?

Things got heated fast; it started as a light kiss and moved to Joe unhooking my bra with one hand as he shoved his tongue down my throat.

I didn't care that I didn't like him like I did Logan; it was more of getting back at him.

Joe was surprisingly very good in bed, he was so gentle.

Joe and I kept going for about 30 minutes when we heard a bang outside the causing us to stop.

"Whoa" Was all I could spit.

Joe smirked, which made me laugh

"Was that your first time? "Joe asked

"Was it that obvious?" I questioned back.

"No, I was going to say you were really good." Joe said as he rolled on his side facing me.

Right as I was about to answer Joe my phone buzzed.

Not wanting to get caught by anyone I jumped up and scrambled to find my clothes.

I searched everywhere trying to locate my clothes.

Bra…. Check




I kept searching until I heard a lite chuckle.

"Looking for these?" Joe said with a grin holding my Aeropostale underwear with his index finger.

I didn't say anything I just smirked and grabbed them sliding the up my scarred hips.

Once I was dressed, I finally walked to my phone and read the message.

From: The Motherfucker.(Logan)

Babe want to get some dinner?(;

To:The Mother Fucker (Logan)

No, you broke up with me.

From: The Mother Fucker (Logan)

What?! No I DIDN'T!

To: The Mother Fucker (Logan)

Don't play stupid I have the texts.

From: The Mother Fucker (Logan)

Katie I love you so much I would never do that to you! Your my love (:

That killed me on the inside, because I still loved him but I couldn't take him back after that, so I did the next best thing.

To: The Mother Fucker (Logan)

Merry Christmas, I could care less.

Ok sorry I suck but in getting back into the spirit of writing!

Merry Christmas EVE!