A/N: *Waves nervously* Um... So yeah, I've been procrastinating on my other fics and getting angry so I thought I'd finally start watching 'Bleach' to try and get my mind off things and low and behold I'm addicted. And as usual I ended up utterly adoring certain characters... Namely Kyōraku and Ukitake. This is the result of my new obsession.

Edit 11/06/2012: Just fixing some mistakes...

Title: 27B/6

Rating: Pg-13 (For a few swears)

Characters: Yamamoto, Kyōraku and Ukitake.

Summary: {Set in academy days} In which Shunsui is a smart ass, Jūshirō has his integrity questioned and old man Yama wonders why he bothers with teenagers.

Genre: Humour

Additional notes: As well as Jūshirō & Shunsui get on now I find it very difficult to believe that they have been that way since the start, their personalities are too conflicting. So this is an idea spawned from that conception. Sorry if people seem a bit OOC ^_^*

Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto considered himself to be a calm and patient man. He had seen countless battles, fought off many powerful enemies both from outside and within the Seretei. Hell he'd even gotten the noble clans to agree to setting up the academy, no mean feat in itself as the majority of their representatives were stubborn, arrogant asses.

However there were limits to his patience and they were being sorely tested by the two youngsters who were sat in front of him.

The first looked a cornered rabbit, slightly fearful hazel eyes the only sign of his distress hidden behind bangs of pure white. He sat bolt upright hands fisted in his hakama not even daring to look at the other student in the room.

The second was slumped slothenly in the chair, brown hair mussed and disheveled, bloodshot eyes burning with mirth despite their owners obviously hungover state.

"I take it you both know why you're here?" Yamamoto intoned in a voice of utmost seriousness.

The brunette's face broke out into a cheeky smirk.

"Nah Yama-Jii why don't you enlighten me?"

The elder just about resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and was about to answer the upstart back when the white haired youth rounded on the other.

"Show some respect Kyōraku that is the commander you are talking to!"

"Oh shut it Ukitake, whatcha gonna do report me again?"

"ENOUGH! It is this behaviour that has brought you both here. Never in all my years have I met two more vexing upstarts."

The two boys fell silent but were still glaring at one another, neither one refusing to back down. Yamamoto heaved an exasperated sigh and leveled his gaze on the youngsters, eyes flashing dangerously almost daring them to give him an excuse.

"We are here to discuss they quite frankly alarming number of official complaints against you Kyōraku by you Ukitake."

The elder jabbed a knarled finger at each of them as he named them.

"Over the last two months there have been fourteen, fourteen complaints and this is completely unacceptable. The term has only just started and already I'm fed up of paperwork!"

Jūshirō shifted in his seat a little but stared defiantly. It may seem a little excessive to the captain-commander but every one of those complaints against this lout was absolutely warranted. Kyōraku was an utter clown and he was bringing down the academy's good name with his dishonourable and shameful antics. It was alright for the lout, he could play around and not have to worry about the consequences but for someone like him... this place was a chance to prove a lot of people wrong and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

Cocking an eyebrow Shunsui tried to hide the small smirk and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair.

"Fourteen? Last time checked I was only aware of twelve... So what are these latest two regarding?"

The Commander once again resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose; he was beginning to become beyond exasperated. He knew both of them would probably get along famously if they both weren't hell bent on making the other miserable as hell. But that was teenage boys for you, always trying to one up one another to exert their authority and stoke their macho ego's. Picking up a manila folder Yamamoto began lazily flicking through the various complaints until he came to the two most recent.

"Complaint number thirteen" The number was spat in exasperation through gritted teeth "Says that you used Ukitake's student identification to obtain certain inappropriate materials from the archives. He was made aware that it was you by one of the archivists giving your description when they came to re-obtain the materials and didn't recognize Ukitake as the one who had asked for them in the first place. "

Face a picture of feigned innocence Shunsui furrowed his brow in mock confusion, an act that neither Jūshirō nor Yamamoto were buying in the slightest.

"What kind of inappropriate materials?"

Hazel eyes blazed with anger as his pale cheeks flushed red in embarrassment.

"You know exactly what kind... You're the one who requested them!"

"Nope... clueless there, why don't you enlighten me Ukitake" Shunsui teased, eyes dancing.

Deciding to nip this in the bud before the situation got completely out of hand Yamamoto quickly moved on to next complaint wondering just why he'd agreed to this meeting in the first place. He was beginning to think it had been a fruitless gesture.

"Complaint number fourteen states that you broke into the academy records and changed Ukitake's name to and I quote 'The right honourable Princess Snowdrop, ruler of the fairies.' On every document."

There was a small snigger that was quickly hidden behind a cough.

"I would have thought Ukitake would appreciate the description, it does appear to be accurate."

Temper finally snapping the white haired boy jumped to his feet and jabbed a finger at the brunette, every word he spoke seething with anger and outrage.

"I am not a god-damned flower Kyōraku!"

"So you're a princess then?" Shunsui countered the mocking in his voice completely unhidden "Do you need rescuing then or would you just be preferred to be pampered like a prissy little madam?"

Visibly shaking with fury Jūshirō rounded on Yamamoto.

"You see what I have to put up with sir! This is completely outrageous, his behaviour, his attitude... they are inappropriate and unacceptable! He maybe noble born but he acts like a common lout!"

Feeling his ire spike slightly at the rather thorough dressing down he was receiving Shunsui narrowed his eyes, honestly where did this brat get off? How dare this little white haired pipsqueak talk to him like that. So he liked to have some, where was the crime in that?

It was at that moment a truly devious idea crossed the brunette's mind.

'Like to make complaints do ya'? Let us see how much you like it when the shoe is on the other foot.'

"Like you're so innocent Ukitake, you're always making out that you're the victim. So should I tell the Commander what you tried to do with me?"

Hazel eyes went wide in shock.


Yamamoto watched as the order he'd tried so hard to maintain between the two was smashed into a thousand pieces. He watched as Kyōraku's face took on a slightly fearful look and refused steadfastly to look the other boy in the eye.

"I have a complaint of my own to make Commander, sir."

The adult cursed just about every deity he could think of as he was obliged to listen to the damned thing because of his own rules. Damn brats using his own system against him.

"Proceed Kyōraku.."

"You can't be serious Commander..."

Yamamoto levelled Jūshirō was a stern glare instantly causing the boy to fall silent. He sat back down looking somewhat sullen, biting his lip in annoyance while the elder nodded to the other boy to continue.

"I was minding my own business in the boys' dorm finishing off my assignment for the night, when all of a sudden this strange music started playing. I looked up to find Ukitake standing in the doorway dancing slightly to the music..."

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow while Jūshirō just gaped in shock, any words he had wanted to retort frozen on his tongue at the sheer audacity of the other boy.

".. I politely asked if there was anything wrong and he shook his head dancing toward me in what I would assume would be a seductive manner and crawled on the bed next to me. A little alarmed I went to object but he just placed a finger across my lips and said 'Shhh... This is not the time for words..'"

There was a spluttered cough to Kyōraku's side as Ukitake went an unhealthy shade of white even for him, his eyes comically wide. The brunette just about managed to control his emotions, which was a monumental achievement in itself as the diabolical laughter was dying to burst forth at the look on both the old man's and the brat's face.

"I attempted to explain that my assignment was due tomorrow but he wouldn't listen and straddled me... Confused I tried to push him off but he just pinned me to the bed and kissed my neck saying 'I can be gentle or very, very rough, the choice is yours.' Not happy with either option I managed to flip Ukitake off me and bolted for the door and into the night. As I left I heard him crying saying 'I'm sorry... come back' I rather understandably didn't."

Silence rang through the office as Shunsui finished his little spiel and he had to admit he'd really outdone himself with this one. Both the Commander and Ukitake were staring at him as though he'd grown another head but he knew he'd won this battle of wills. Yamamoto was obliged to investigate and that would mean that others would hear about what Ukitake had 'done'. And eventually it would reach the ears of the higher noble clans, which would cause a whole world of trouble.

Smirking inwardly Kyōraku knew that he had the both of them by the balls.

Yamamoto just gawked at his two students and felt his temper begin to boil, honestly what was wrong with these people? He knew exactly what Kyōraku was playing at and unfortunately he was powerless to stop it. Gripping his staff tightly he sighed and shook his head.

"What do you want?"

Those words finally caused Jūshirō to come out of his shock and he spluttered indignantly.

"You can't be serious Commander!"

The elder banged his staff on the floor effectively silencing the boys.

"I was not talking to you Ukitake, do not interrupt."

Shunsui's face remained impassive but he was mentally doing a happy dance.

"I want the complaints against me dropped..."

Yamamoto had been expecting that.



The commander raised his eyebrow "And...?"

"And Ukitake has to take a corrective lecture."


Knowing that it was that or deal with the wrath of nosy nobles who were already looking for any excuse the Commander quickly nodded his assent.

"Fine, fine just drop the damn complaint already."

Jūshirō just stared mouth wide open in shock, clearly there was something he'd missed here but to have everything he'd been through pushed so carelessly aside... It made him feel bitter.

"The complaint has been dropped Commander..."

"Then this meeting is adjourned... Now get out of my office."

Both boys rose and quickly left, Kyorakū all smiles and Jūshirō seething with rage. The white haired youth strode past the brunette mind whirling, this whole situation was catastrophically unfair and cruel. He was sick and tired of being treated like a doormat and if he couldn't go through official channels to try and make this better he would have to play that asshat at his own game. A small smirk crossed his face as Ukitake began to plot.

Kyōraku wasn't going to know what hit him.


A/N: So yeah... apologies for randomness lol. Oh and if you want to know where I got the inspiration for this type the title into Google. ^_^